I am leader of the Justice League of Lancaster and are in no way sponsered by any form of hair care producted.
Anyway, I am the first mate of the good ship Pulsar and as such it is my job to keep things ship shape. Captain Sell likes it that way. Ship shaped ships tend to sail that little bit faster. After all, if the ship were fridge shaped, it probably wouldn't sail at all. Cap'n Sanguine said it would probably just sink. She tends to be right about these things 'cause she knows about ships, she does.
Arrrrr. i don't really go in for all this pirate nonesense, but I likes water and I'm especially fond of going: Arrrrrr. Matey!
The trouble is, I know a whole bunch of people and I have a memory like a sieve, so if I try to tell you about my friends, chances are I will just miss somebody out or not do justice to someone that I love a great deal, so I'm simply going to say this:
Friends, you know who you are.
This way I treat everybody equally. I mean, if you do know me, then you already know that I love you with all of my being and if you don't know me, then saying 'Alice 22 from Coventry' isn't going to give you any more insight into me and mine than you had before you started reading this drivel.
You'll recognise me. I'm always wearing something garish and multicoloured, be it my feathered hat, my skicap, my genuine Doctor Who scarf or my shiney new napsack (almost wrote napster)
Hence why my Day-to-Day name is Jason of Many Colours. (Not a mild mannered reporter)
The above text was written by Captain Sanguine and its perfectly accurate. Notice how she lists Transformers first. That's because they are my favourite thing. Sometimes. They share the top spot with Pokemon and the two sort of fluctuate, one taking the back seat as the other comes to the fore. Transformers, however, are the thing I know most about and I can rattle on for hours and hours about the Decepticon lines of succession or why Optimus Prime is the perfect role model for children. (Provided those children are growing up in the middle of a galactic civil war)
The Cabin boy... I can't call him that... Sam says to point out the how much of a whining bitch Rodimus Prime is, but that#s only in the Cartoon... In the comic he is indeed rock hard. Of course he never appeared in the US comic, so anybody reading this on the otherside of the pond will have no idea what I am talking about.
Next comes Homestarrunner.com. I can't really explain this in words, you just have to see it to believe it. Trust me. You'll either hate it with a burning passion, or you will be running around in a wrestling mask and boxing gloves answering your email and hailing to TROGDOR!!!!!
I like lord of the rings, in an obsessional everything-and-everyone-is-thought-of-in-middle-earthen-terms sort of way, but Captain Sanguine is Morgoth to my Sauron: She can speak elvish and tell you the names of all the heirs of elendil. Geek.
My favourate movies include Die Hard, GhostBusters, Short Ciruit, Batman (Micheal Keaton only) The transformers movie (naturally) Fellowship of the Ring, Return of the Jedi and Startrek Six Yeah, I know, they're all childish and unintellegent, but I don't care... there's enough people in this world who cite Schindler List as their favourate movie without ever watching it through.
I like eggs, mashed potatoes and sausages, I prefer crisps to chocolate, pepsi to coke and I always strive to eat green vegetables.
My hobbies are numerous and I like to spend time inhaling books, drawing and sometimes crafting things out of papier mache. My chief passtime, however is working on my novella. (series of interconected short stories, for those not in the know) I've been churning away since I was a wee sixteen year old and I've written nearly 3000k of text. The only trouble is, I'm a tempremental artist and won't let anyone see it until it is done - and that's not going to happen anytime soon, so as far as my shipmates are concerened, my chief hobbie is locking myself away in my room, sitting at my computer and guiltily minimising the windows whenever anyone comes in.
Bunch of long haired hippies and their affiliates. What more is there to say? I hate name dropping and as I have already discussed I do not have the cognitive capacity to list everybody I know and give the reasons why I like them. Trust me when I say 'If I've ever grabbed your arm and talked your ear off when walking along the spine, its safe to assume that I love you.'
My family is a whole different kettle of fish. Hmmm. That would make them a chum bucket, wouldn't it?
Seriously though, I come from a very large family and I have more brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and step-all-of-the-above than I know what to do with. I do know that I love them all (apart from an evil uncle or two) and that their presence is both a safty net and a security blanket all at the same time. I know that I can fly as high as I like, because if I fall they will be there to catch me and kiss me better.
Thank you, Mum.
I also share my head with an imaginary friend who has become so engrained into my every day life, there is no getting rid of him. Don't panic, he answers to my name.
His origins are a long and boring story, one that I'm sure to repeat at some point in the near future. Lets just say i worked a lot of nights, all on my own.
I need therapy.
I have no pets.