Where
Is Your Heart?
“Why did you
and Dawn break up Lance?”
“She didn’t really explain it all the way to me. She just kept getting mad at
me for stupid reasons and I was unrelenting in my lifestyle I guess she just
got tired of it.”
“Okay…so you
doing anything tonight?”
“Nope you?”
JC debated on telling that he was going out on a date with Dawn, it’s been 4
months since they broke up, it should be okay. But then again it was his best
friend’s girlfriend.
“Got myself a
hot date.”
“Oh really…do I know her?”
“You might, you might not…but I have to get going, ya know got to look good for
the lucky lady.”
“Yeah right…”
JC got up off the couch and walked to the door. When he started backing up out
of the driveway he saw a car driving down the street and he thought he recognized
it…sure enough if was Dawn’s. But he didn’t realize it until he was down the
street and she was in the driveway at Lance’s house.
Not even five
minutes after JC left there was a knock on the door, he thought it was JC
coming back for something.
“It’s open.”
Dawn
hesitantly opened the door and picked in. Lance was sitting on the couch, his
eyes glued to the tv, she walked over to the couch and stood behind him.
“What you
forget this time Jace” not even turning around to see who it was.
“It’s not Jace.”
Lance’s hand
spun around to see a pair of once adoring, loving blue-green eyes staring at
him. He hadn’t seen Dawn in close to 3 months, not since they ran into each
other at a club.
“What…what are
you…?”
“Let me talk, that’s what I came here for. I need to talk to you.”
“Well whatever you have to say you could have said it four months ago when you
broke up with me. Now if you would please leave.” By this time Lance was
standing right in front of her behind the couch staring into her eyes.
His eyes were
so cold, they were warm when they first looked up from the couch but as soon as
he realized it was her they instantly turned icy. She knew how he felt about
her and it wasn’t making the situation much easier.
“Yeah I
realize that…I wish I had told you this then but I didn’t and now I need to.”
He sighed and decided to hear what she had to say.
“What is it
that you so desperately need to tell me?” He said sarcastically, not really
caring to hear what she was about to say.
“Maybe the reason why I broke up with you? Maybe the fact that I left in such a
hurry I didn’t even let myself have time to see your reaction and I was
wondering how you felt? Maybe I’m wondering how you’re doing, so that I can
maybe move on?”
“So…”
“So, I broke up with you because…well you’re going to want to sit down for
this.”
“I’m fine
where I’m at.”
“Okay…the reason why I broke up with you was because I wasn’t attracted to you
in that way, I guess I really never was. I was with you to be with somebody,
not because I felt like we had a connection and after a year of that I couldn’t
stand being in a relationship where the feelings weren’t mutual.”
He eyes went wide with shock.
“But…all those
times.”
“Yeah they were great, I meant everything I said at those times but I still
didn’t feel like we were compatible. Yeah the sex was more than great but as a
boyfriend I never really saw you as that. More as a friend with benefits.”
“You lied to me.”
“No, I never did, every time I said I loved you I meant it with all my heart, I
just wasn’t in love with you. It wasn’t fair to you or me to stay in that
relationship.”
“Damn…”
“That’s the reason I got irritated so easily because that whole time when it
seemed like I was PMSing I was actually trying to figure out a way to break it
off.”
“So that’s
why…”
“Yeah and now that you know why, I want to know your reaction.”
“Shock, I never would have thought that, you were so responsive, so loving,
adoring…you were the perfect girlfriend. I mean perfect, you made me feel like
I was wanted, handsome, loved, important. I guess it was kind of my fault for
not seeing it.”
“No, it was my fault for misguiding you. I had come out of a bad relationship
and you were there with arms wide open. I needed the comfort and I’ve always
been the one to seek out that intimate comfort and that’s what you gave to me.”
She paused for
a second, blinking back the tears before she continued.
“I just
maybe…when you asked me for some solidarity to our relationship as in being
your girlfriend, I figured I didn’t want to lose you, because I knew you would
never hurt me and I sought out your comfort and your arms. I knew I didn’t like
you like that but I thought maybe I could one day and that one-day never came.
So…after all that I’ve told you how are you doing?”
“I was okay; I guess I’m a wee bit better, not wondering why you broke up with
me anymore. Hurt mostly I guess, but you know gotta take it one day at a time
and I slowly get over it. I mean after four months you think I’d be over it by
now but like I said you were like perfect. You treated me like I was something
special, like I was worth someone like you.”
“You’re too much for me; you’re worth so much more than I could ever give you.
I wasn’t the right one.”
“I don’t how
true that is but…I guess you made me feel whole and I enjoyed being with you
and you’re just a loveable person like that. Even when you’re not so loveable.”
“You a
genuinely good guy Lance, and I’m glad I got a chance to be with you like I did
but I guess it wasn’t really meant to be. There’s also another reason why I
came here tonight.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I haven’t dated since we broke up; I had to have time to heal myself. I
just really, I have a date tonight and I really need your blessing on this
because I really want to have a relationship with this guy and I was hoping you
could just give me your word of approval. You always held my best interest at
heart.”
She looked up
into his soft green eyes, they were warmer now, they had a love in them that
she used to always see when he looked at her.
“Depends on
who’s the guy.”
“Um…Josh.”
“JC…as in my best friend JC.”
She looked down and wondered maybe if she should have told him. But in the end
she knew it would have been better coming from her than someone tabloid.
“Yeah, JC…as
in your JC. He asked me out…and I said yes. So I was wondering if you were okay
with that.”
He stared at her for a whole split second and a wide smile came across his
face.
“So you’re the
hot date he told me about.”
“He told you about it.”
“Not much details, just the fact that you were hot and that’s really it. And
that he has to go and get all cleaned up and good looking for you.”
She blushed at the comment.
“So how do you
feel about it?”
“I think it’s great. It’s kind of weird but the feeling will pass eventually.”
“So do you approve?”
“It’s weird, you still look to me for approval, that really…I don’t know just
gives me a good feeling inside. So yeah I totally approve.”
She wrapped her arms around and neck and gave him a big kiss on the check and
said “Thank you Lance.” She released him and then turned to walk to the door
but before she stepped outside the door he called her name.
“Yeah…”
“Make sure he takes good care of you or else.”
“I will, thanks again.”
“Bye darling.”
“Bye prince.”
She stepped
outside the door and looked up at the sky, for some weird reason she felt like
a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She could move on.
As she walked
down the sidewalk that led to the driveway, she noticed a vehicle sitting in
front of the house. She instantly remembered it. It was JC’s. She walked over
to the door and knocked on the door.
He looked up
from the steering wheel and saw that it was Dawn and rolled down the window.
“Hi.”
“Hello.”
“So…you and Lance huh?”
“No not really. Why did you say that?”
He looked back down at his steering wheel. “I saw you kiss him…”
“Yeah on the cheek. I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. Nothing to be
alarmed with.”
A smile spread
across his face, he actually thought that they were going to get back together.
He felt so brainless.
“Sorry…”
“No it’s cool. See you tonight?”
“Yeah totally. So why were you here?”
“I needed to talk to him. Tell him some things I needed to get off my chest. So
yeah.”
“Oh…okay.”
“Well, I got to go get all dolled up so yeah.”
“Okay…bye.”
“Au Revoir.”
I don't believe in the smile that you leaveWhen you walk away and say goodbye Well, I don't expect the world to move underneath me But for God's sake, could you try I know that you're true to me You're always there, you say you care I know that you wanna be mine Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, ohWhere is your heart I don't understand, your love is so cold It's always me who's reaching out for your hand And I've always dreamed that love would be effortless Like a petal falling to the ground A dreamer following his dream Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, ohWhere is your heart It seems so much is left unsaidBut you can say anything Oh, anytime you need Baby, it's just you and me, oh yeah I know that you're true to me You're always there, you say you care I know that you wanna be mine Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, yeah Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, and that's all I'm asking forWhere is your heart