I Hate Myself For Losing You

 

She ran down the sidewalk after him, he was walking away from her like he always did when she refused to tell him what was wrong. She would get pissy and get an attitude and be a bitch to him but wouldn’t even tell him what was going on and he would get tired of it and would just walk away.

 

They used to be in love, they used to think that they were meant to be together but that didn’t work out like they had planned. Now, they were just friends and he had moved on with somebody. She missed him as her friend.

 

“Joey, wait up. Hold on.”

Calli, if you’re not going to tell me what’s going on I’m just going to leave. You’re always like this, even when we were going out. I mean you never knew how to tell people what’s going and you still don’t. You act like you’re on your period and expect nobody to notice or wonder why.”

 

“I…I…”

”Just don’t Calli, we’re friends, I just wish that you could trust me. I wish you could just talk to me.”

She knew why they weren’t together. She never trusted him, or herself for that matter. She wanted to have him back in her life but she didn’t know what to do.

 

“You want to know what’s wrong. You do you really want to know what’s going on with me Joey. Fine then let me tell you.

I woke up today, Woke up wide awake, in an empty bed, staring at an empty room I have myself to blame for the state I’m in today, and now dyin’ doesn’t seem so cruel. And I don’t know what to say, And I don’t know anyway, anymore. I hate myself for losing you I’m seeing it so clear I hate myself for losing you. What do you do when you look in the mirror and staring at you is why he’s not here? I got what I deserved, hope your happy. Cause every time I think of you with her, it’s killing me inside. And now I dread each day, knowing that I can’t be saved, from the loneliness of living without you.”

 

He stated walking away from her, not really wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. He knew he had asked for it but it hurt to hear it. She walked up next to him and kept telling him what was going through her mind.

 

“I don’t know what to do, not sure that I’ll pull through, I wish you’d know. I hate myself for losing you, I’m seeing it so clear. What do you say when everything you said is the reason why he left in the end. How do you cry when every tear you shed won’t ever bring him back. I hate myself for losing you.”

 

It was all true, right before he broke up with her, she poured her guts out and he left her after that. He knew what he would get if he ever asked her what was going on because he would never be able to deal with the complex beautiful woman that was standing to his side.

 

“I’m sorry Calli…I just…”

”Run Joey, run like you did last time. I’m sorry I never tell you what I feel because you always run away. I hate myself for losing you. Realize that but I’m moving on. Run away Joey, you’re a coward.”

 

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I Hate Myself For Losing You

Kelly Clarkson

 

I woke up today 
Woke up wide awake 
In an empty bed 
Staring at an empty room 
I have myself to blame 
For the state I'm in today 
And now, dyin' doesn't seem so cruel 
 
And oh, I don't know what to say 
And I don't know anyway, anymore 
 
I hate myself for losing you 
I'm seeing it all so clear 
I hate myself for losing you 
What do you do when you look in the mirror 
And staring at you is why he's not here
 
You got what you deserved 
Hope your happy now 
Cause every time I think of her with you 
It's killing me inside 
And now I dread each day 
Knowing that I can't be saved 
From the loneliness of living without you 
 
And oh, I don't know what do 
Not sure that I'll pull through 
I wish you'd know 
 
I hate myself for losing you 
I'm seeing it all so clear 
I hate myself for losing you 
What do you do when you look in the mirror 
And staring at you is why he's not here
 
I hate myself for losing you 
 
And oh, I don't know what to do 
Not sure that I'll pull through 
I wish you knew 
I wish you knew 
And oh, I don't know what to say 
And I don't know anyway, anymore 
 
I hate myself for losing you 
I'm seeing it all so; I'm seeing it all so clear 
I hate myself for losing you 
What do you do when you look in the mirror? 
And staring at you is why he's not here
 
What do you say when everything you said 
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed?
Won't ever bring him back again

I hate myself for loving you

 

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