Everybody has bad days
mine just come more often
so sometimes I have to say
that my heart is broken.
Broken from the fights
broken from the lying
now I just spend endless nights
in my bedroom crying.
I know they all just want to help
to make me feel more happy
but all the pills I have to take
don't make me feel like laughing.
Maybe it's the PMS
maybe it's just nothing
but my life is a mess
maybe not worth living.
Once I start
I cannot stop
I go from the bottom
to the top.
The blood pours red
the knife shakes so bad
I shouldn't have done it
but there's no turning back.
I feel so alone
in this great big world
no one knows
all the pain I feel.
My family they love me
my friends they do too
but I know they will never see
the me that is real.
The person I am
doesn't smile so much
the person I am
gets relief when she cuts.
Someone once told me
to first love myself
and put them all aside
and the same they will feel.
But I don't love me
don't see how I could
I am so lonely
I do nothing good.
I am not faithful
I don't sleep anymore
to the boyfriend who loved me
I am just a whore.
I drink too much
I do homework too little
the scars where I cut
are jagged and purple.
I know that I don't have the balls
at least not yet it seems
to let life fail
and slip just beneath my reach.
So I'll put on a happy face
I'll smile at least for now
if by myself the tears they fall
no one shall ever know.