Buffy looked at riley pointing the gun at Angel.
She was stunned for a minute, knowing it was time for her to choose.
Her past was standing in front of her, and her present was at the door. Or was it?
What was happening to her? She felt locked inside. She wanted to scream. It wasn't
me. It wasn't me. It's someone else.
She looked at the barrel of the gun.
Yeah, she liked riley, he was good for her. He was human. He was...
No, her inner self kept pushing and stirring inside her.
Everything felt blank. Why couldn't she say something? Why can't she move? Angel
is the past. That's where he should stay. So why can't she do it? Because
something she buried inside of her now surfaced again.
She wanted to be herself once more. A vivid image stroked her.
Angel was standing on the hill. He was waiting for the sun to kill him. And she came
to convince him to stay alive.

Love of my life don't leave me
You've taken my love you now desert me
Love of my life can't you see
Bring it back bring it back
Don't take it away from me
Because you don't know
What it means to me

"I believe in you", she heard a voice inside. And she knew she would do it again
even now. She would step out and make sure he stays there. Because he belonged
in this world. She knew the world needed him.
Why can't he save me, my soul? She cried inside.
He was too busy fighting evil, helping people, helping Faith, he ignored what she
tried so hard to tell him. And she hated herself that moment, lashing at him like a
bitch. She couldn't surface then. She just said what she said and hoped he would
understand how desperate she was and how she needed him to help *her*, she was
a lost soul too. But she hid it so well behind her attitude, her new life. She had to
laugh at her new self, her fraud self. Was that the life she wanted? She wasn't
normal. So she was having a sexual relationship with riley, but it was lacking. Depth.
She felt sorry for riley. Some says you meet your one true love, your soulmate, early
in your life, and you don't realize it until it's gone. And now it stroked her. She
needed Angel, not riley.
She needed his touch, his strong arms around her, his comfort. She wanted to lose
*her* soul in him, only so he would help her revive it.

You will remember
When this is blown over
And everything's all by the way
When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you I still love you

Buffy closed her eyes and stepped in front of Angel, facing riley.
"What are you doing? Buffy get away from him!" riley said, still pointing the gun.
Buffy stared at the barrel.
"I'm sorry", She said. "I can't let you do it. You'd have to take me first".
"Buffy, get out of the way", Angel hissed behind her.
"Buffy you don't know what you're doing!" riley said.
"Oh I know. I finally know", she said.
Angel pushed her aside. She pushed him back.
"What are you doing? It's not your fight!" She yelled at him.
Angel was puzzled. "Buffy, you were right, I should have stayed in L.A, you have a
new life now and I'm not a part of it", he said looking sadly at her.
Buffy swallowed her tears and stared at him.
"Look at me", she turned to riley. riley lowered his gun as she stepped closer to him.
Angel lowered his eyes, gazing at the floor.
"What do you see?" She asked.
"I see Buffy. My beautiful girlfriend", he said softly.
"But I'm not... I'm not Buffy. Not anymore..." her voice trembled.
"What are you talking about?" He was clueless.
She turned to Angel. He still had his eyes in the ground.
"Look at me", she pleaded.
He didn't raise his head.
"Angel, please," she sobbed, "Look at me. Look!"
He raised his eyes to meet hers.
A tear rolled down her cheek.
"I don't know how to talk to you anymore..." She wiped her tears. "You're not even
looking at me".
"I look at you. I guess..." He smiled bitterly, "I guess I was blind".
She stepped closer and he touched her cheek softly.
"I was... too..." she sniffed. "I'm so sorry. I don't deserve you. You should be with
someone else".
Angel cupped her face. "How can I be with someone else when all I want is you?"
"You don't want me, Angel. You want the Buffy I used to be, not what I am now..."
"I know the Buffy I love is here, I see her in your eyes, and I know I'll always
remember..." he sighed. "How can I forget?"
She touched his hand, moving it away from her face.
"Will you help me?"
"You don't need me. You can do it yourself, you have to", he said.
"Buffy, this is insanity, let's just go. I won't kill him", riley said grabbing her arm.
Buffy pulled out her arm and looked at Angel.
"I can't... I'm tired..."
riley looked at them, and it hit him. Buffy never loved him. The way she was looking
now at the vampire, the way she begged him to help her...
he lowered the gun and walked out of the room, defeated.
Buffy heard the door slammed shut behind her. But she didn't make a move.
"What should I do?" she asked Angel.
"I can't tell you that".
"I can. I thought you were my past. I tried so hard to make you stay in the past... and
you're not. You're my present..." She looked at him. "And future".
Angel let out a sigh. "Maybe one day... But not today".
"No".
"I really should go back", he said quietly and started walking. She grabbed his arm
as he passed her. "Just tonight", her voice was a mere whisper.
He pulled her close to him, leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.
She clung onto him, immersing herself in his lips, drowning in the passion she
buried inside for so long. And she knew that he would spend the night with her.
And she knew the next day she will have to face riley, and she knew Angel would
leave.
But right now, everything else was unimportant and she pushed it to the back of her
mind.
Angel will always be there for her. And one day he'll be back.
She knew it. And then she was looking in his deep brown eyes and saw the love she
yearned for and missed so much.
He pulled her close for another hug and he knew too that they would be together
again.
For as long as there were demons and slayers in the world, so was love. Beyond
any logic and boundaries. And love will win.

Back hurry back
Please bring it back home to me
Because you don't know
What it means to me
Love of my life
Love of my life

                             ~THE END~