|
TITLE: Happy End AUTHOR: [email protected] RATING: PG-13 DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Joss and his minions. If they were mine they were suffering less� to a degree� *eg* The song �You Look So Fine� is copyrighted to �Garbage� and I have no rights to it either. TIMELINE: post �The Body� SUMMARY: Angel comes to comfort Buffy, but that�s not exactly what she wants. "No!!!" Dawn started screaming as the mud started to cover her mother's coffin. "Mommy!!!" She cried and tried to run into the pit. Xander pulled her, trying to stop her, while Giles just squeezed Buffy's shoulder gently. "She can't breathe!!! Don't put her down there!!!! She can't breathe down there!!!" Dawn continued to cry and scream. Buffy didn't say anything. Her face remained bleak as Xander and Willow led Dawn away. Buffy shook her head from the memories and crouched down to her mother's fresh grave. It was nighttime and everyone was crowding her house, comforting her. But nothing they could have said could change anything. There was no comfort. She was surrounded with so many people yet felt so alone. So lonely. And the most annoying thing was everyone keep asking her if she was all right. Of course she wasn't all right. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry just like Dawn. Her little sister's last words when she was led away from the grave still hunted Buffy. She said good night to all her friends that settled themselves in the living room and went up to her room. After tossing and turning restlessly in her bed, trying to force herself into a deep dreamless sleep, she just sneaked out of the window and returned to the graveyard. She crouched down and grabbed a handful of dirt, letting the cold breeze of the night drift it through her fingers. She felt something twitching inside her. A familiar feeling rose in her. She got up on her feet and turned around. At first she expected to see him behind her, tall, dark with that familiar lost but loving look in his deep brown eyes. She felt weakened. The vampire didn't wait and lunged at her, knocking her to the ground. He looked puzzled when she didn't make any attempts to fight him. "Slayer!" He hissed, revealing his fangs. He grasped her shirt and threw her away on a tombstone. "You're no fun." He snarled, moving closer to her. "But that's fine with me." Buffy closed her eyes, feeling his fangs grazing her neck. She heard the sound of the vampire bursting into ashes and opened her eyes to see Angel standing in front of her with a stake in his hand. She looked intensely into his eyes, unable to say a word. Angel's face remained expressionless as he returned the gaze. //You look so fine I want to break your heart And give you mine You're taking me over// "Angel..." She whispered in disbelief. He reached out for her and she took his hand, walking over to him. "Why did you do it?!" Buffy slammed her fist on Angel's chest. "Buffy..." He looked at her, confused. "What are you trying-" "Don't..." She cut him out before he was able to say anything further. "Don't talk to me like I'm a stupid kid!" She ran away from him but he easily caught up with her, grabbing her arm. She instinctively twisted his arm and flipped him onto his back, drawing out her stake on her way down and stopped her thrust inches away from his chest. Angel panted and looked at her then at the stake. She did the same, shocked. She nearly staked him out of instinct. "Why did you come here?" Her voice cracked. //It's so insane You've got me tethered and chained I hear your name And I'm falling over// They both stood above the small mountain of flowers that covered Joyce's grave. "It's not fair... It should have been me." Buffy whispered softly, her eyes filling with the tears she did not let out. "Buffy... no..." Angel made a step towards her. Buffy shook her head. "I'm the Slayer... I'm the one that supposed to die young... It's not fair... I couldn't save her..." Buffy's voice was full of pain. She avoided looking at Angel, and shuddered when he touched her back softly. He pulled her into his arms. "No parent should see the death of his child." He whispered softly into her hair. "Don't think she would have wanted that for a second." "She can't breathe down there..." Buffy cried into his chest. "I save people every night and I couldn't..." He caressed her hair gently, holding her close until he could feel her body relaxing. She raised her face to look at him and he touched her face softly for a moment, then taking a step away from her. "You should go home, Buffy. riley-" He started saying but she let out an ironic bitter laughter. "As the Buffy-tradition goes... riley left me." She said dryly. Angel looked at her. "I'm sorry... I know you loved him..." His voice was hoarse. Buffy laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Funny you say that..." She stopped laughing. "I never realized that I actually never loved him until I told you that I do..." She touched his arm, caressing his sleeve softly. "I told you that because I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to show you I moved on, just like you... and seeing you again..." She ssniffed and took off her handfrom his arm. "Sometimes I just lie in my bed and think about you... and I feel that my heart stops beating. I think that I can't breathe anymore..." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "And part of me wish I'd die already..." She started crying again and Angel pulled her over to him. She touched his face, looking closely at his features. "Xander... Xander told me I should run after riley... that a guy like him... comes once in a lifetime... and I really believed him... I wanted to... I wanted to believe that if I could make riley stay maybe something will change.... And I will find out Xander was right..." //I'm not like all of the other girls I can't take it like the other girls I won't share it like the other girls That you used to know // Angel was silent and his face remained blank as Buffy continued spilling her heart, exposing her most inner thoughts to him. And he had no right to stand there and listen. Not anymore. "It hurts so much... I want you so badly... and no one but me can understand... I can't tell anyone... so I just pretend and it's killing me from inside... I know even if I could get back together with you... we'll only end up leaving each other again..." Angel gasped, closing his eyes. "And that's the best case scenario..." He said involuntarily. She looked at him. "Deja vu.. Why do I have a feeling you said it before?" Angel shrugged, "I guess... we always come to that when we're together." He whispered. Her fingers trailed to his lips. "If I asked you to kiss me... would it be..." She took off her hand and pushed herself away from him. "Why are you doing this to me?" //Knocked down Cried out Been down just to find out I'm through Bleeding for you I'm open wide I want to take you home We'll waste some time You're the only one for me// "I wish things could be different," Angel sat next to Buffy on the ground. "I wish I didn't see you that day in L.A..." He whispered. He remembered her at 15. Innocent, naive, still unaware of the things that lurk in the darkness, lurk for her. Still unaware of her destiny, of him. A flower that had only a few weak thorns to protect itself from the evil that wanted to cut it. "I wish we never met, and that you could still live your life the way you used to, with your mother..." He looked at the fresh grave. She tracked his stare to the mount of flowers. "Normal life." She said quietly. "I don't remember it anymore." "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you... When she died..." He whispered. "Angel..." Buffy swallowed and got up. He got up as well. "Come," She sent out her hand for him. He took her hand and let her lead him away. //You're taking me over Over and over I'm falling over Over and over// Angel watched as Buffy climbed quickly on the tree, hopped on her roof and then stopped and motioned him to follow. He hesitated at first, then followed her up to her window. He remembered nights he used to spend here, watching her sleeping peacefully. Even Angelus enjoyed the sight of her. Angel shuddered and made a step backwards. "Come in," Buffy asked him, and he entered her room reluctantly. Angel watched as Buffy ripped the neckline of her shirt, revealing her neck to his eyes. "Take me." She demanded quietly. "No." She moved over to him. "Angel, I'm going to die. I want you to be with me when I die... I... I want to die in your arms." "Buffy this is insane." He moved away. "Angel, you and I both know that's how it has to end. You have to be one to do it. It can't be anyone else. I don't want it to be anyone else." "What about me? What am I supposed to feel?" "There's another way..." She bit her lips, looking over at the bed. "Buffy, no. That's not the way." "Angel, please. Do it for me. I'm tired, Angel. Please..." Buffy started crying and walked over to him. "I don't want to go on... I don't... I don't want to be alone." She threw herself on him. He put his arms around her. "Buffy... What about Dawn? What about your friends?" "They all have someone to take care of them... They don't need me." "They need you. The world needs you." "You don't." "I-" He looked at her and touched her face softly. "Do you love me, Angel?" "You know I do. I'll always love you. But it's not about that. You're shaken from your mother's death." He held her shoulders. "Buffy, people die." She walked away from him. "Yes, people die. You would let me die by some minion from hell and you won't let me die by you." "I won't let you die by anything. I walked away so you could live." "Oh the irony." Buffy muttered bitterly. "You're not here anyway, it's not like you're gonna know if I'm dead or alive." Angel opened his mouth to respond, but she sat on the bed caressing the cover, looking away from him. "Angel, please... Help me end it. I want the fairy tale." She pleaded. "It's not gonna be happy ending." He whispered huskily. Buffy walked over to him, reaching for his hand. He let her take his hand and rest it on her cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin. "Let's pretend." She asked, looking into his eyes. //Drown in me one more time Hide inside me tonight Do what you want to do Just pretend, happy end Let me know, let it show Ending with letting go Let's pretend, happy end// |