and you're humming with joy on the way to the barn.
You open the door and look for your beloved cow between the 7 cows inside.
You smile at the other cows and say 'Hi girls!', you see them turn their
butts at you in protest. You call out for Bessie and you hear from the
back someone says: muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!
You smile widely and run towards the voice.
It's Bessie! Happy Joy! <insert romantic music>
You run in slow-motion with your arms spread out, Bessie runs towards you
in slow-motion with her bell ringing and dangling from side to side.
She stops when she reaches you and licks your face.
You tell her how much you missed her and that she smells like roses. She
says 'Mooooo' and licks your face.
Your Ma enters the barn and sees you with your cow
lover. She comes closer and tells you that she asked a neighbor to do calculating
and it turns out that it's most likely you are the father of Bessie's child,
not the horny bull rapist who killed (and other stuff) your grandpa.
You hug Bessie and you hug your Ma and you all dance
together, and then you go back to the house and call Buffy. You tell her
that you're getting married and that she shouldn't be heart-broken, it's
just never meant to be, and you were too far away from your true love.
Buffy tells you that it's okay, she already made plans of dumping you and
go visit her ex boyfriend in L.A, and that he's alot sexier and smarter
than you, not to mention his good scent, unlike your stench. You tell her
that it's fine that she tries to make fun of you, and that you completely
understand her behavior and that in time she will forget you. She hangs
the phone and you go back to your Bessie. awwwww, true love lasts forever.
You can't wait for the birth of your offspring.
Sunnydale? you laugh, thank God you bought a one way
ticket!
THE END.
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