you get on the plane. The pilot gives you a kinky look,
and you smile dorkily at him and sit around with all the packages. You
think about starting a conversation with the pilot, and try to imagine
what he would say if you ask him what is he doing with all those nifty
machines.
You think he will start to tell you all kinds of techniques
about flying the aircraft, and while you decide to ask him as you planned,
the plane suddenly takes off and your back is stuck to the wall, and a
big pile of packages fall on your head and you say ouch.
The pilot puts on the automatic pilot, stands up and
comes near you. He tells you to buckle up dipshit. You say hey! who you're
calling dipshit, dipshit? The pilot punches you in the nose and you say
ouch. You start fighting with the pilot until a few packages fall on the
control panel and it starts beeping. The pilot runs over to the throttle
and gains control over the aircraft.
You walk over to him, sit beside him and say 'So...
whatcha doing?'
He looks at you, and says 'just trying to keep the
plane straight... you know, to SAVE OUR LIVES'. You smile oafishly and
then he asks 'why you're so anxious to get to Iowa, nothing there but cows
and corn fields'. Your eyes light up and you say 'Isn't it heaven?'
He gives you a weird look and then you start telling
him how your cow was attacked and how you left her a year ago and how your
grandpa died and then you manage to bore the pilot to death.
He lets go of the throttle and his head drops on the
control panel. You hear the thing start beeping again, and then, while
the plane drops at 716 mph, you think about poor Bessie and then you also
remember that it's Sunday and you forgot to go to church again. Dang.
THE END.
or