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| "Who is this Old Lady in my mirror"? |
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| "A weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly didn't invite her. "All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was. "She manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her there. And when I look into a mirror directly to check my appearance, suddenly she's hogging the whole thing. "Though I don't like to jump to conclusions, I think she steals money from me regularly. "I go to the bank and withdraw a hundred dollars, and a few days later, it's gone! "I certainly don't go through it that fast! So I can only conclude that the old lady pilfers it. "You'd think she'd spend some of it on wrinkle cream. Lord knows, she needs it! "She gets into my closets when I'm not home and alters all my clothes so they no longer fit. |
| "I wish she'd stop messing with my files and the papers on my desk. I can't find a thing any more. "This is particularly hard to deal with because I'm extremely neat and organized. But somehow, she manages to jumble everything up so nothing is where it's supposed to be. "She gets to my newspapers, magazines and mail before me and blurs all the print; and she's done something sinister with the volume controls on my TV. Now all I hear are mumbles and whispers. "Furthermore, she gets to my groceries and applies super glue to the tops of every jar and bottle so they're just about impossible to open. "I don't even get any respite at night. More than once her snoring has awakened me. I don't know why she can't do something about that. It's very unattractive. "If she keeps this up, I swear, I'll put her in a home. "On second thought, I shouldn't be too hasty. First, I think I'll check with the IRS and see if I can claim her as a dependent!" |
| ~ Author Unknown ~ |
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| Musical Selection: "Yesterday Once More" |
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| A fair face may fade . . . but a beautiful soul lasts forever! |
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