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| My First Car by � kanee Like most teenagers who had just turned 16 and passed their driver�s test, I dreamed of having my own car. Mom and Dad had an old �51 DeSoto up on blocks in the back garden that hadn�t ran in years and was pretty much rusting away. I got up the nerve to ask them if I could buy it from them. They talked it over and told me that if I would buy new tires (it had none), get a new battery (it was dead), get the tag updated (it was expired), buy the insurance and gas (oh well hehe), they would transfer the title to me for $1.00. I was ECSTATIC. It took me a few weeks but Dad and I finally got it off the blocks and up and running� well, barely. Dad had decided that it was going to have to be painted just to stop the rust, if nothing else, but of course, we would have to do it ourselves. For several weekends in a row we took it to the shop where my dad worked (at the time he was a mechanic and worked on tractors and other farm machinery) and sanded, taped and primed it getting it ready for the paint job. Finally it was ready for the paint and I had told Dad I wanted it painted red (of course), but because he could get the paint wholesale I only had two choices� ford tractor blue and ford tractor blue� I choose ford tractor blue although I preferred to call it �powder blue�. Dad did a lovely job painting it and when he was done, I busied myself cleaning and fixing up the inside using discarded carpet samples for the floor and an old velour bedspread for seat covers. I thought it was GORGEOUS. It was finally ready for me to drive to school and show off except for one minor detail� Those old DeSoto�s were unique in that they were half-automatic and half-standard and I wasn�t sure exactly how to drive it. So one Sunday afternoon my Dad and my then boyfriend, now husband, Mike and I set off for a drive in the country so they could teach me how to drive it. A couple of miles out of town, Dad finally let me slip behind the wheel. I was SO nervous because I really wanted to impress Mike and make Dad proud of me. It was no big deal driving it, really, except that it was as big and heavy as a bus, it seemed, and moved like it was being pulled by rubber bands� I nicknamed it The Slug. We came upon an extremely steep hill and Dad started giving me instructions about how to shift gears so I would have enough power to get up the hill. I was doing everything he was telling me but about � of the way up the hill I couldn�t get the car to move forward anymore and it actually felt like it was sliding back down the hill. Dad was screaming, �Put it in first! Put it in first!� Well, I put it in what I thought was first gear and floor boarded the gas. To my complete and utter amazement I discovered I hadn�t put it in first gear at all, I had put it in REVERSE. We shot backwards down the hill like human cannonballs. Dad was letting out a string of cuss words that could melt the new paint on the car and Mike was being tossed about the back seat like a rag doll and was screaming like a girl. (hehehehe) I could NOT get it stopped! And the only reason it did stop was because I high-centered it in a ditch. Once it did stop, nobody said a word or moved for a few moments, until the dust had cleared enough that we could see each other. I slowly turned and looked at both Mike and Dad who were just sitting there staring at me with their mouths open and at the exact same time they both started with the �*%*^%*)$@#^)$$!#%$^!!!!!!!� They looked like crazy men to me and I couldn�t help it, I just started laughing and I laughed until I cried. Dad jumped out of the car and slammed the door so hard I thought the car was going to turn over. I looked back at Mike who was still sitting there looking at me all wild-eyed and I busted out laughing again. He jumped out of the car, slammed his door and yelled, �Hey Bruce, wait up!� I looked in the rear view mirror and I could see them stomping down the road, both cussing a blue steak, and every once in a while Dad would bend down, pick up a rock and slam it back down into the dirt. Right about then was when I had to get out of the car and find a bush to squat behind. LMAO!! When I could stop laughing enough to talk I yelled back down the road to them, �Don�t worry about me, I�m all right!� They both stopped and turned around and looked at me, looked at each other, let out a few more ^$$@#!$#@^%*^%&, then continued on their way back down the road. I needed 911. LMAO!! I had NO idea where they were going, but I could only assume they would return with help� some day. LOL And they did. They had walked a couple of miles to the next house and fortunately the people were home and brought them back with a truck and chain to pull me out of the ditch. The car wasn�t hurt at all, but boy my pride sure was, in reality I was embarrassed out of my mind. And they gave me such a hard time about it; I wouldn�t drive it again and sold it to my little brother the next year when he turned 16 for $50.00. LOL My Dad eventually did get so he could laugh about it and loved to tell the story just so he could say about Mike, �And he married her anyway.� hehehehehe!!! kanee |