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| Icy Times - The Other Side by � goeswith3faces A room filled with smoke. Streams of beer and whisky make senses deaf. Eyes search eyes but cannot see. Hands search hands but cannot feel. Lips speak without a word. Ears hear without understanding. Hearts beat without feelings. Laughter without joy. Thoughts without reason. Existing without life. He hates this place and a quietly voice asked him not to enter the bar, but only for one drink he thinks, it cannot be that problem. He buys a bottle, not everything for now, he will take the rest of the bottle home. He sits down in a dark corner. He will shape up for sure and that is why he will not have more than one or two drinks today. He promised it his wife and his children �. � but you know how life is and �I � I only have to catch the right moment to stop it all �. Yep � the right moment that is important � to catch the right moment � He fingers out of his pocket a cigarette. Yes everything depends on the right moment � shit � where is the goddamn lighter � shit � am I blind ? � was laying the whole time in front of me � shit � His hands are a little bit shaky when he lightens his cigarette. No problem � it�s only from work � damn work � only work �damn factory � He was going directly from work into the bar, not that he needed drinking, but he needs some time for himself to � � to relax � yep to relax � that�s the right word. I only have to think about some things and I will go home immediately� Yes that�s right � I will not spend a whole day in a bar like this � only relaxing a while and I will go home � His hand catches the glass and leads the drink automatically to his mouth. A cozy and familiar burning spreads in his stomach when the first drink runs down. Ahhh � that�s good �after a hard day � The next �first drinks� followed a second later and his mind becomes calm and peaceful.He thinks about his wife and this feeling � this feeling comes again, this feeling that makes him confusing and sweating � he needs a drink. After some drinks, he will feel better, much better... � Not that something is wrong with my wife � that�s not � no for sure not, but � eh � you know how wife�s are they � I mean Mary is ok and I love her but you know sometimes � she � she didn�t understand me right� I mean � she didn�t understand that � that sometimes there are a lot of things to think about and � she has to look for the children and it�s not easy to explain her all � I mean what I think �and � and she thinks I�ve a problem with drinking and she wants me to speak with someone or that I go to a doc or to Grandpa Reeches who already helps people since we could think but �but there is no need for it �really� I mean it�s ridiculous � only because of having a few drinks after work � I mean hard work � that makes not an alcoholic out of me � and that�s the point�yeah the point is that Mary cannot understand that � I mean what are a few drinks after work � nothing� really nothing� but Mary didn�t give up discussing with me �and at the end I become angry and �shit � and I told her many times she should stop it � because of the children � yeah the children �children �oh god... the children... He remembers when Mary and he had a quarrel last time and his children stood at the door to the sleeping room. Mary was shouting at him because � ok he had some drinks but not that much �and his son Gary was standing there looking sad at him and his daughter Alice was crying� and Mary called him a drinker and so on � and � he don�t want it�but� yes he beats Mary in order to make her shut up and Gary tried to defend his mother and � oh god � he needs a drink again � � I mean I tried to explain Mary that there is no need to make such a big thing out of a few drinks and � but she was hysterical and didn�t stop shouting at me and �I mean �I � I mean this was not that I want beating her � but the children slept and I don�t want to have them awake and � I mean she didn�t stop � and � Tears run down his cheeks. Hasty he wipes the tears away and takes the next few drinks. He looks around. But nobody saw it. Assuages he takes some more drinks. � I mean how she could think that I�m a drinker � I�m respected by all people in town and � ok they make sometimes jokes�calling me �Chief� or �Tonto� � but that are jokes because I�m an Indian � and that�s all � and many people have after work a drink without discussions with their wife�s�. but why she didn�t see this � and now she makes people crazy about that � she was going to my friends, telling them I�ve problems with alcohol � I mean � that�s crazy � yes crazy�really ... she is crazy� He shakes his head by thinking about it and starts laughing quietly without joy during he has the next �fews�. His spirit becomes light and an invisible power lifts up his spirit, out of the muddy water of presence� � yes crazy that�s what she is � crazy � my friend Darrel � Darrel Two Knifes�you know Darrel told me that she was going to Grandpa Reeches too and that she had spoken with him � He takes the next �few drinks�, thinking about Grandpa Reeches � � Grandpa Reeches �wakan wicasa�yeah I remember when I was a kid � and he told us stories about the past and legends �past and legends� Grandpa �what does he know about livin in a white man�s world� a wasicun world�in a mnisica world� what does he know about the factory�he never worked there � never � not he� not Grandpa� Grandpa Reeches about workin in a factory�he had never been there� not he � not Grandpa�so what does he know � nothin � really nothin � nothin he knows�yeah zat would be great Grandpa in a factory � workin � Grandpa � n facto � work ��� The invisible power turned to a black hole that surrounded him and takes him softly like a kiss into another world. A world without pain and without dreams and without life � He did not feel the vibration when his head was falling on the table, also he did not feel the tears that ran over his son�s cheeks and drops on his skin when he tried to take his Dad back home� A room filled with smoke. Streams of beer and whisky make senses deaf. Eyes search eyes but cannot see. Hands search hands but cannot feel. Lips speak without a word. Ears hear without understanding. Hearts beat without feelings. Laughter without joy. Thoughts without reason. Existing without life. In Great Respect to all lives on Mother Earth ~ Goes-with-three-faces ~ |
