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| Thank You Daddy by � chibilunacat Daddy Dear do you questiion now- Why we never talk? Does it ever cross your mind, That you are to blame? Never were you there for me, When I was in need, I barely remember our moments together, Growing as a child. You told me i coldn't be loved If I put on pounds, You told me you could teach me A difference between love and hate. You made me cry and then you stopped- With your venomous words, When you stepped back you simply let Her take you place. You made me believe I had no right To be proud of myself- You made me think that to get help Simply was all wrong. You mistake me for someone else, You think I am a puppet, For someone elses actions always are What you think I do. If I speak it's not my voice, The words are not my own, If someone near did something wrong, You'd blame me for that too. It's crossed my mind that it is guilt, That you have allowed to lead- But guilt for what, my father dear? Will you admit for what? Before you gave us up like property- Before we could understand insult, When you had us pray at night, What else did you do? Insistant on me being in bed, Insistant on a kiss goodnight, Insistant that you pinched my rear, Whenever I walked by. How could you have forgotten Daddy, How do you just not know? How do you tell the difference Between pure love and hate? Did your memory die my father, and only remember good? Are your eyes so blind dear Daddy And nothing bad was seen? Why would you still figure that, Perhaps I'd like to talk, What hurtful things would you lay on me- If I gave you the chance? I'm older now, and I'm afraid To step outside alone, To see a stranger, or have to talk, It simply terrifies me. I question hugs, and flinch from touch, I find it hard to trust, Sometimes at night I dream of you, And it makes me want cry. Daddy dear it could be worse, I could call you everyday, I could be just like you, And love you as much as you love me. I could fit the description Of your perfection, live my life by lies, I could treat the people I love As the people I deeply hate. I could blind myself to truth- And lie myself to sleep, But Daddy dear, I thank you much, For everything you had to teach. I'm humble now, maybe overly, And I keep away from things that hurt, Inside I keep it, all my pain, So that I never overly whine. I don't let people make me feel worse, Then I can do myself, Thank you Father, for now I've learned, That I'm not entirely to blame. Daddy dear, keep on hoping, That someday we can talk, For I hope so too eventually, when I'm ready, I have a lot of things to say. Terra Mae 7/24/2002 |