Eternity by � chibilunacat Eternity is the moment of sadness that is present for one hour of utter pain and stays with you for a month, this is something I learned a long time ago. A miracle is being able to crack a smile or unleash a laugh for more than a moments worth of time, it comes fleetingly, sporadically, and stays with you for only the moment in which its present, in most cases. This is what experience has shown me, my whole life. Shadows are the warm comfortable dark places present during the day and night, your "home base" or "safe area" where you can hide your tears, and pack away your anger, in the places where no one will search for it while you go on playing your game of life. Paint can cover up all the stains, if used enough...... but it chips, and its been wearing off of my soul for a long time. How would you go about hiding the things you would rather people not know? How would you keep them from even asking about it, what do you tell them when they do, how do you stall for time? How do you erase all the bad parts, when you can barely remember the good..... and where do all the blank spaces come from, the periods of forgetfullness, the places where you mix things up for know reason, get a name wrong, but its in your head as though you remembered it that way always, as thats they way you heard it? How do you give back to someone what you have stolen from them, if what you stole wasn't a physical object, but a demeaning peace of aloneness, if you made that person what they are today, how do you find out how it would have been if you woulda kept your big mouth shut, or piped up at the right time? How do explain that without a laugh, and without a cringe, and without ever saying I'm sorry, because you don't know how sorry you are? I know they answers are within these walls, but how deep are you expecting me to dig, to pry, how many rocks must I loose from the foundations, how many craters can I fill in on the floor, and how do I clean up the mess? If I were drowning in a sea of sweat and blood would my angel finally come? Would the dirt wash away with my sweat? Would I need to repaint again? How many layers of paint can one wall hold before it crubles to billows of rising dust, brought into your lungs untill you choke? What is a mystery? When you laugh at a joke while in a public place, did you ever notice the person a little bit a head that cringed, because they didn't hear the joke only the laugh, and knew it was meant for them? Did you ever see the person at the restaurant with their back to everyone, bent over their food, staring off into space? Did you even notice? What would cause a person to react that way, and what would cause them to cry over it? Why would they lock themselves away inside there house and run away from their problems even in their dreams? What do you say to the person that crys inside all day, won't let one drop fall upon their face, and has absolutely no reason to be sad? Do you tell them to quit acting up, when they hurt themselves do you tell them they are stupid? When they finally scream in rage, when the anger inside finally roars out and spreads around the room looking for escape, do you tell them to shut up? What pains the person who feels no pain? And what eases the pain of the person who feels nothing but? Can they be the same person? Why does sadness last for eternity and why is happiness such a miracle? Why do so many people hide in the dark confines of their house leaping at their protective shadows, and fading away upon the wind? What happens when you run out of paint? |
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