A CJ Silva Joint

Those of you who are faithful NL readers might remember the article on the stupidity of most kids today. Well, in a shocking, brand-new report, National Liar has discovered that with the New Millennium, kids are even dumber. For this amazing article, I conducted some research, exploring the minds of the youth today. This was all done in an attempt to figure out what the hell these kids might know.

I began by asking a few kids who some famous people were. The results were shocking. Upon asking who Steven Hawking was, several odd answers were given. Eighty-five percent of kids surveyed gave answers that Helen Keller with a lobotomy wouldn't give. Some thought Professor Hawking was "that robot guy," or "that guy on South Park that talks through that voice box." Very scary results so far.

Figuring that Steven Hawking bay have been too hard, I decided to ask an easier question, hoping that kids weren't as stupid as most people think. After some consideration, I decided to ask a few people who "Jesus" was. The results were blasphemous. There was a drop, this time only sixty-five percent had no idea who Jesus was. I was corrected by the first twenty percent, saying "it was a Latin last name, DeJesus." Even then, it wasn't pronounced "Dee-Hey-Zeus," but "Dah-Gee-Zus." The rest of the people answered with "that was the Latin waiter's name at the restaurant!" Well, racial tolerance and religion is obviously running rampant in kids today.

With that, I must end this article. This was truly an annoying experience. All people should hopefully know that Chef Boyardee does NOT have a restaurant, Judas did NOT have his own band, and Woody Woodpecker wasn't a porn star. However, I did search out the stupidest people for this, so I guess the results shouldn't be too surprising. Oh well, at least the other fifty-some-odd percent is smarter than the dumb-ass, brain-rotted, bullying, non-thinking, stupid-idiot jack-asses who annoy me on a daily basis. I swear, those people just drive me...dammit, now I'm pissed off. I've gotta find something better to do with my time.