The Aluicious Higginsworth Saga
Like the Elián Saga, but with the role of the United States reversed and England in place of Cuba.
The Aluicious Higginsworth Saga
Like the Elián Saga, but with the role of the United States reversed and England in place of Cuba.
TEA-SIPPING COMMUNISTS KIDNAP POOR LITTLE ALIUCIOUS HIGGINSWORTH Back to National Liar
A CJ Silva Joint
NEW YORK-- It was a cold day in New York today as British Prime-minister Tony Blair sent in troops to retrieve British national Aluicious Higginsworth from INS custody. Janet Reno was present, obviously attempting to stop them from entering the Motel 6 where the lad is being held. Mr. Reno didn't do much, as he, er.... she was easily knocked over while trying to block the door. In the typical fashion, young Aluicious was rescued at gun point, which oddly enough doesn't make sense, and returned to his family.
"As soon as I saw that grenade launcher pointed at my head, I knew I was saved!" said young Aluicious, speaking about his gut-wrenching, six hour rescue from the Motel Six. Upon breaking into the hotel room at three AM, British troops jumped Aluicious while he was by his closet.
"Those Brits are too damn loud," said CJ Silva, a hotel patron, "I was trying to sleep, but they were screaming 'kill the kid!' or something." Apparently after the room was destroyed in a wave of gunfire, Aluicious wes returned to England. He is currently reunited with his family in Washington, and are awaiting a guardianship trial.
After the capture of Aluicious, all does not seem quiet. Actually, the US is getting a visit from our good friends, (Yup! You guessed it!) the protesters. Despite the fact that Brits did this, all the protesters feel it necessary to go to Washington. The National Liar had an exclusive interview with one of the protesters, and he had some interesting things to say:
"All I can say is that this is a travesty of American Justice. That kid should be back with his family in Cuba. Viva la Elian!" said Bob D'Amogheniasavez.
Despite protesting against the use of violence, there have been several episodes of flaming bottles of whiskey being thrown at the Capitol. It still remains to be seen what will happen next.
British stormtroopers forcefully extricate Aluicious Higginsworth from the Motel 6 where we was being held by the INS Cute Children Authority
