1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. Leave him a note, explaining that you�ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
3. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
4. Paint �hoof-prints� all over your face and clothes. While he�s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes backup, act like you�ve been �trampled.� Threaten to sue.
5. Instead of ornaments, decorate the tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come in and then say, �This neighborhood ain�t big enough for both of us.�
6. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
7. Leave a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
8. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa�s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, �Ooh! Look! A deer! And he�s got a red nose!� and fire a gun.
9. While he�s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
10. While he�s in the house, replace all his reindeers with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. |
