As I watch you,
I wish it was all a lie,
Everything you do.
As you walk ahead of me,
I can�t help but stare,
I remember how it used to be,
I can�t help but care!
CHORUS
And it�s because of this I,
Hate that I love,
I wish I could stop,
Making such a big deal,
Try a different stop,
And change how I feel,
But for this reason I,
Hate that I love!
I never knew before,
That love was so sore,
You let me get inside you,
You set me dead against you,
How could I have been so blind?
How could I not see we�d wind, up?
Falling apart at the seams,
And now I can see what it means.
Chorus
I love you too much,
To tell you the truth!
I can�t stand your touch,
I told you the proof,
It was never your place,
To tell what I�ve done,
Please close this case,
I love you too much!
Chorus
You put these words, into my mouth,
You wanna say, how to have my hair,
And I would quite happily, leave this house,
How can you not expect me?
To do all of these things that I do,
And not want to break free,
And escape from you two.
CHORUS
I love that I hate,
As I stare into space,
But I love that I hate,
While you fail to read my face,
And I love that I hate,
As I empty my head,
So I love that I hate,
I don�t care what is said!
This hate,
It�s what drives me on,
It�s too late,
I�m already gone.
When I reach this final page,
I will leave this place,
But I still don�t know,
Who I�ll see or where I�ll go.
Chorus
The noise in my ears,
Prevents these tears,
Cascading down,
Making you frown,
And opens the door
To a different floor,
To a special place,
Where I don�t have to see your face!
Why couldn�t I see?
I�m so thick,
It had to be me!
Why didn�t I keep my mouth shut?
Why did I have to get all worked up?
CHORUS
I can�t believe I did it again,
I just don�t learn from my mistakes.
Why is it always my name?
All I ever tried to do was help out.
I�m more than happy to leave,
Please, just give me the cue,
I won�t believe that you�ll grieve,
As you watch me walk away.
I can�t believe, I just won�t believe!
You call my name,
And I don�t answer.
You mock my shame,
And I don�t care.
Do you wonder why I don�t see them?
Can�t you work out why I write with this pen?
Chorus
You point out to me,
Things I don�t care about, to see,
Has it ever occurred to you,
Why I do the things I do?
Chorus
I never knew
That an angel could
That you really would,
Be an angel
And rescue me from Hell!
CHORUS
I don�t know
Why I�m still here,
Watching your show,
And I don�t know,
How you feel,
Towards me,
But I don�t know
If when I look to see,
You�re looking straight past me,
So I don�t know!
Before you,
All I could do,
Was talk with this pen that writes,
But now you�ve turned on some lights,
And all that would listen is this paper,
It never said a word,
But that�s in the past,
For now you�ve caught my glance.
Chorus
I know you frown upon,
What I have done,
But that�s all gone,
So lets have some fun,
But I sit back,
And watch you,
I stay on the rack,
And watch what you do.
With all of the insults, that you thro at me,
With al of the in faults, that you find in me,
How can you expect me, to be your friend?
How can we see, a way to mend?
How can you be home yet?
I haven�t had a chance,
To break a cold sweat!
As it turns to night, all I can do is stay awake,
What you see, is just an interpretation,
When I�m in your sight, all I seem to do is fake,
Just another version, of what you call truth,
I tell you, what you wanna hear,
Because we both know,
That what I�m doing, is your worst fear,
I�ve just nothing to show.
Chorus
You tel me to relax,
But we both know,
That I can�t,
I don�t know how low,
I can sink,
Before I hit rock bottom.
Chorus
I�ve heard it all before,
So I switch right off,
I won�t take much more,
So I start to cough,
Why can�t you see,
From my point of sighting?
It�s just that we,
Are always dying!
CHORUS
I cause pain for pleasure, to myself,
I am slain for leisure, by your elf,
It distracts me from life,
Just to feel a knife,
I cause pain for pleasure,
Cos I�m slain for leisure!
I wish I never came home,
I�ve thought it too many times before,
I wish I was sain so,
Don�t think of me anymore,
I wish I could get through,
The evenings easily,
But I always seem to
Cause some trouble!
Chorus
You always seem to,
Be watching me,
Why can�t you
Just stop to see?
I have a right to live,
And you�ve no power,
As I�ve a bite to give,
To push you over!
Chorus
Why are you always checking,
Up on what I do?
I am in two ways selecting,
The shot I�ll shoot,
And when I�m alone at night,
I�m left with my thoughts,
And when I�m shown the light,
I�ll welcome the cause!
Chorus
I choose pain for leisure,
As I�m slain for pleasure,
Can�t you see, it�s because of you,
That I feel, what you do,
Lets me loose, with a knife,
So I choose, pain for life!
I don�t care, anymore;
I bought this upon myself;
I open, all my doors;
As I spit upon your grave!
Save you from myself, no-one really cared;
Save you from myself, and tell me what you read;
Why should I care, when no-one else does?
Why can�t I stare, when everyone does?
I don�t care, anymore;
I bought this upon myself;
Motherfucker, I just don�t care,
I just don�t care!
Not a day goes by that I don�t wish I could turn back time;
Not a minute goes by, when I don�t think about you;
Not a day goes past when I wish I didn�t commit that crime;
Not a minute goes past when I�m not watching what you do!
Save you from myself, no-one really cared;
Save you from myself, and tell me what you read;
I don�t care anymore;
I bought this upon myself;
I open all my doors;
As I spit upon your grave!
Why should I sit here and watch you, when I know what it�s like to be in your arms?
Why can�t I walk around blind, and just disappear without a fuss?
I could just sit here and watch you, as I try to keep myself calm;
Why can�t I talk about you, without feeling that self-harm is a must?
I�m gonna stay awake, and watch time go by.
I�m gonna take and take, as I watch you leave my side.
I don�t deserve you, I cause you upset.
I know it�s true, since we first met!
CHORUS
I close my eyes, and hope it all goes away;
It kills me inside, that I�ve got nothing to say;
I chose my time, as I cope with everyday;
It fills me with lies that I must keep at bay!
I�m gonna snap and break, until I fall and sigh.
It�s for your own sake, until I realised.
I am dangerous, you can�t help me!
I am serious, just let me be!
CHORUS
I�m gonna cross a lake, as I change the tide.
For you I would make, me a different guy.
All I want really, is for you.
To be happy, whatever I must do.
CHORUS
I�m not gonna wait to fake, to you I won�t lie.
I�m not gonna see you through opaque, for you I would die.
And I would give, anything to cease your tears.
For you I live, to take away your worst fears.
CHORUS
Every night I wake up screaming
All because you left me!
Every time I wake up weeping
All because you�re the one I wanna see!
Every time I eat, I�m reminded of you;
Anything I see, I think of you;
Everything anyone does, I�m already thinking of you;
And all becuz, I miss you!
I know I�ve had my prime to be the one you hate,
And now I feel like I have been torn in two,
I�ll show you within time, what it is to wait,
And how I kneel, if I could, before you!
Chorus
As I lie here whispering your name,
As I sit there watching your game
I can see
You still have feelings for me!
But I wait right here upon this shelf
Where I can see you be yourself
While I struggle to get through
Any day without you!
Chorus
You�ve gone back in time and I hope you get what you deserve,
Cos I know that I have: and it�s nothing!
You�ve gone back to him and I know I�ll learn,
As I walk I know I�ll keep going!
I hope he gives you what I couldn�t,
I know I want you to be happy,
I know I did what he wouldn�t,
Just so your smile, I�ll see!
Chorus
I don�t regret the things we did,
And those few times we hid,
And I won�t forget the things we�ve done,
Including those few times we sung,
And I�ll try not to upset the next one along,
With so few among!
Chorus
CHORUS
Since you�ve been gone,
It�s been hard to move on,
I was certain I had won,
Cos I was sure you were the one,
Since you�ve been gone!
Every day I woke up feeling right as rain,
Because I knew I�d see you today,
You were my goal,
You helped me escape the hole,
That I used to dig when I went home,
That I used to climb in when I couldn�t moan!
Chorus
Every day you seem to look at me,
As you try to ask if I�m ok,
Any day I just hope to see,
That we speak like we used to,
And then one day you�ll know I�m happy,
But that�ll be when I�m dead!
Chorus
You were the only thing that offered comfort, to me,
And now I�ve got none of it, to see,
I can�t escape you, no matter how hard I try,
I shan�t evade you, as I capture the feeling to die!
When I�m left alone to fight,
With all of my thoughts,
Then I�ve left home at night,
It�s you that cause,
All of this hate inside,
Why can�t you see,
That the feelings I must hide,
Just aren�t meant to be?
CHORUS
And it�s because of you,
That I�m wound this tight,
It�s the things you do,
That makes me write,
And it�s because of you,
I look so sad,
It�s the things you do
That I feel so bad!
I don�t know why you do it,
It�s unknown to me,
I won�t show you where I sit,
In my grave to be,
Do you have to put me down,
Just to feel good?
Am I that much of a clown,
That I can�t remove the hood?
Chorus
It seems that every chance you get,
You cause me upset,
And everyone you talk to,
I fear what you might do,
Why can�t you just leave?
I beg you, please,
You�re so predictable that I hate you,
You�re so readable, with the things you do!
Chorus
I hate you,
I wish you would die,
I know who,
As you try,
Don�t wanna get caught,
But I need the satisfaction,
Of knowing I have taught,
You a fucking lesson!
The perfect start to the perfect day,
As you anger me,
I know you�ll find a way,
To make me see,
It doesn�t matter what I say,
Or what I wanna be,
You�ll always find a way,
To anger me!
CHORUS
I just wanna be alone,
I must be on my own,
I fall into tranquillity,
I need to come here frequently,
Just to watch and see,
If anyone notices me,
In my tranquillity!
I hate the things you say,
As it dwells inside,
But there is no way,
That I can hide,
These things I feel,
For much longer,
I won�t heal,
If I surrender!
Chorus
For reasons undefined,
I cannot see why,
You always put me down,
I wish I would,
Just die without a sound,
I wish I could,
I know I should!
Chorus
You get me stressed,
When I�m already depressed,
I can�t survive,
If I stay alive,
From everything you said,
You�d be better off dead,
The worst days are the ones you look forward to,
The best days are the ones you look straight through!
Chorus.
CHORUS
Darkness comforts me,
It makes me realise,
And stops me to see,
What I am hiding from,
As darkness falls,
I slip away,
As no one calls,
To me!
I never thought the pain would get too much,
I never thought we could lose touch,
But it�s all my fault that we,
That we don�t see:
Each other, to talk;
One another, to walk
Together!
Chorus
All I ever tried to do,
Was help you,
Not once did I complain,
Not once did I fall away,
You are killing me,
From the inside out,
As you wait to see,
If these lies are true!
Chorus
For all the times that you�ve put me down,
I swear to God, that one day,
I will make a sound!
In every case that you�ve taken the piss,
Mark my words, that one-day,
I�ll attack and will not miss!
No matter what you do or say,
I can�t get back the years you�ve taken from me,
For I know that it�s you I hate!
CHORUS
Trust me! That one day,
Trust me! I�ll take you down,
Trust me! I�ll find a way,
You and me, right here, right now!
Just trust me, you bastard,
I will make you pay!
And just so you know,
I�m not a kid,
So you can stop calling me one,
Before I blow my lid,
And the worst thing is, you�re selfish too,
It�s all take and no give,
Cos you�re a loner,
You won�t let me live!
Chorus
The way you�re always watching,
You think it pays to keep searching,
While I cover my tracks,
And just can�t relax,
When I�m at home and you�re about,
Then I�m alone and I�ve no doubt,
You are someplace near,
Cos you�ve nothing better to do than make me,
Shed a thousand tears!
Chorus
So you say I�m not street wise,
So what? Who cares? I�m still alive.
It�s not like I�ve committed any dangerous crimes,
But I�m sure you�ll catch me before I die,
And that�s why I just won�t try,
Too hard at anything, and I don�t care,
Cos life seems too unfair!
Chorus
You never had too many friends, and you know why?
You always snitch, and can�t you let true lye,
You don�t forget a thing, if it makes me feel bad,
Every time you check up on me, you prove my point,
And make me all sad,
Anytime you look upon me, you prove my point,
You�re not my dad!
CHORUS
With treasured days,
A faint memory away,
And just a haze,
For me to see, my way,
Through the troubled maze,
That followed our treasured days.
It took so long,
For me to realise,
You were never wrong,
And I just wanna see your eyes,
Do you remember?
The fun we had,
Just last September,
I pissed off your Dad.
Chorus
The tears I wept,
The days I never slept,
The photos I kept,
Is all I have left,
And in a note,
You lied and wrote,
From wich I quote,
�Forever yours, Gem.�
Chorus
12 months ago,
we were so close,
I loved you,
And swear I still do,
I was going to do this anyway,
But I had nothing to say,
It�s my fault we�re not socialising,
So please stop apologising.
Chorus
I�ve kept your notes,
I don�t know why,
I remember your quotes,
And just wanna die,
I found you,
And had to,
But lost who
I am.
Chorus
Why you dumped me,
On my fake birthday,
I will never see,
That it helped in any way,
But if it makes you happy,
It is a small price to pay,
And I�m so sorry,
That I�ve nothing to say!
CHORUS
It fills me with misery,
Just to see,
His hand on your back,
As our eyes meet,
And we both can see,
That I love you still,
As I�m filled with misery,
Just to see,
You take him back!
Why my watch stopped today,
On the 25th of January,
Was it when you decided,
You could not love me?
So my whole world froze,
At 6:48 am,
10 minutes before I rose,
From my bed, to remember you!
Chorus
I�ve been distracted for so long,
I do everything wrong,
But I know,
I�ve nothing to show,
For hoiw you feel,
I just have to deal,
With the fact that you�re not mine,
So I go to sleep on wine!
Chorus
I know you won�t have me,
And I�ve decided, I won�t have you,
I abused the key,
To your heart,
But I also know,
I don�t care,
I�ve cared for too long,
And I�ve got nowhere!
As you keep on taking,
You got me mistaken,
If you think I�ll keep on waiting,
While you go on faking,
Your feelings for me!
CHORUS
But one day,
I�ll find another you,
And one day,
I�ll be able to move,
On and say,
I don�t love you,
Like I already do!
I keep on thinking,
As you go on looking, at me,
And I seem to keep linking,
You two hooking, up,
Just forget your feelings for me!
Chorus
You never stopped loving, him,
I should have foreseen, this,
I know what I did was wrong,
But that�s why I put it in a song,
But you just weren�t honest with what you knew!
Chorus
Everyday,
Was the same routine,
And it�s my fault,
We�ve lost touch between,
Our two lives!
Chorus
CHORUS
What would I do?
If I lost you,
What would I do?
If you saw through,
What would I do?
If only I knew.
Just what to do!
As I watch you walk last,
I know that�s it,
As you do a by past,
You�re just so fit,
I just can�t keep my hands,
Off of you,
For I would change the sands,
To see you.
CHORUS
As I look at you,
From my side,
There�s nothing I can do,
Just to hide,
These things I feel,
From my side,
I wish you�d just heal, me,
And enter my life.
Most days I sit and watch,
In some ways I kick and punch,
Myself to not have seen,
Just how much you really mean,
We share secrets,
As I pay compliments,
And now I wanna be with you.
Chorus
So now I cross the bridge,
Seeing as I�ve met a ridge,
And it looks so dark,
For every mark,
I want a kiss,
For I wouldn�t miss,
All the shit on my side,
Is it alright if I enter your life?
I needed someone to,
Just listen to me,
Just be patient and see,
How I feel,
And what I have to deal,
With every day,
With all the things they say!
Chorus
And you were an,
Alternative to the knife,
And you could say that,
You were always at,
The top of my list,
Before I sat,
And cut my wrist!
Chorus
If I lost you,
I would be dead!
Whatever you said,
You were always right,
At the front of my head!
And now you�re gone,
I�ve loved you for so long,
That it�s hard to just move on!
Chorus