|
For those of you who do not know, not long ago, I was very sick. When I sick, I don't mean that dumb "Oh my stomach hurts" or I have a runny nose sick, I mean like hardcore I was sick. It all began last thursday when I was at dodgeball. I started feeling somewhat queasy and I began burping. The burps tasted like my dinner, just much more rancid. By the end of dodgeball I just felt like I was going to pass out, so back to the dorm I went. When I got back, I drank 2 big things of water and then just kind of layed down so let myself chill. Soon, I felt something I had only felt a few times before, the feeling of the kings of all shits, this one was going to be a big one. So I sit down and I hear something, it sounds like running water in a faucet going into a full sink. Then it hits me, I have a large flow of pure liquid shit coming out of me. Like this didn't even burn, it was just like a flow, I have deemed it a Niagra Shit, since it is similar to the flow of water in the Niagra falls. After this has ended, I feel a little better, so I decide to go ahead and get me some sleep. Fast forward 2 hours and I wake up about 2:30 in the morning. Once agin with a need to release the hordes. I go and crap my brains out and return to bed with a very sickly stomach and I can not reallys leep. I lay there for about half an hour, and I have the feeling that I am going to vomit....a lot. I decide to go to the same toliet i had been shitting in (keep in mind, i did flush, so there is not fecel matter everywhere), the idea is to keep the disease in one area. So i kind of crouch down and lean forward and let it spew, but this was one might spew. It was like a launched a cannon ball out of my mouth, because when that first volley hit, it sent toliet water and vomit splashing back into my face. But since i am puking I continue puking while I have water that no doubt still has my feces basteria in it and my own vomit on my face. This fun activity finally finishes and I quickly run and clean myself up. Later one that night I once again need to puke, but I also need to realse the hordes again. So i am not sure which to do first, so I decide to vomit first. The problem was, with every puking convulsion, I can feel my anus relaxing and almost sending a tidal wave of feces out of my pants, it would be like when the mom in the Cone Heads movie, water breaks. Well, these different kind of activites continue for the next 3 hours or so, until finally my body is just too tired and I manage to fall asleep for about 3ish hours. I wake up, and guess what I need to do, I need to crap again. So i run to the same toliet and I sit down, and I quickly remember what the worst feeling in the morning when you wake up in the morning is. No ladies and gents, it is not a cold toliet seat, it is a cold wet with someone else's urine toliet seat. I immediatly decide to find the fucker who did this and release my niagra shits on his face, the bastard. I understand using a regular toliet is very hard, that toliet seat weighs a good maybe 5 to 10 pounds and it is way to heavy to lift. But seriously people, must you piss all over the fucking thing, how woud you like it if i shat upon all the door handles in teh building and when you tried to leave, oops, You just got "Shunked" That is right punked, but as a result you get shit on yourself fucker. Anyways, that was most of my sickness happenings. It sucked, but some of the stuff is so sick it is funny. |
|
