So I went to a party last night, innocent enough, I had myself a good time overall, can't complain really. But there was this one girl who apparently had set her sights on me and wanted a sweet taste of my goods. As they are delicious and I of course can not give them out to just any lady who hungers for them. My goods are like a rare oasis in the middle of the desert, you are truly blessed by god once you have come upon it and are allowed to enjoy its treasures. Ha ha, now that I am done talking up my almight "goods", I will get on with the story. Perhaps I brought the happenings on myself, because my first encounter with this girl was breif, I was playing Keg Maid for a few minutes, so I poured this girl an amazing cup of beer, which had no head I may add. And taht was that, but I fear this might have been taken as a gesture of "Hey you, I want you to ride me all the way to Mexico City", when in reality I was simply doing my community service for the week.
Well, the second encounter was later in the night, she came up and started talking to me (nothing too strange since all the ladies are attracted to Nathan as if he had a magnet in his pocket and their chasity belts were pulling them to him (as we all know chasity belts are of the make form Robin Hood Men in Tights, which means they are solid metal, if you haven't seen the movie.....screw you). But she introduces herself and then I introduce myself of course being "Nathan" Which she then replies, Nathan?....She gets a kind of vixen like look in her eyes and says "Nathan is a sexy name".............that's right, she said Nathan was a sexy name. Now I am no Nomenologist, but I don't think Nathan is taht sexy of a name. It is a pretty run of the mill name and I don't deem it sexy. Well upon this statement, I was already pretty sure this girl was pretty much trying to do the horizontal tango with me. Then she continues to tell me taht I'm sexy. Well, of course this is true, as I do havev a border line body of a greek good with my lankey arms and quite flimsey. I might say I am ruggedly handsome, but not sexy. Not that i count these thigns as strikes against this girl, because we all love to be flattered, I of course giggled and got flush in the cheeks as all school girls do when compimented, but taht was pretty much the end of taht encounter.
We talk randomly through out the night, but it is usually pretty short because I was hitting on fly honeys left and right, so I was busy talking to other people. But finally the final confrotation occured. We were once again talking, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, and she declares taht she is drunk. I am also drunk so I am just like, high five, you get a gold star. Then she gives me taht same vixen look and leans into me again and says "I want you to make me a happy drunk". I kind of look at her with a sideways look, and i think it was a few seconds before I could respond because she was so forward. I answer with "so how does one make you a happy drunk" and she is just like "I don't know, what do you think". As I mentioned earlier I am not one to go and lay down in the sack with just any lady, especially when I have been drinking, I just don't want to do things with girls that I may not remember the next day, and also, assuming how forward she is with me, makes me wonder how many other guys she has done this with. And folks this is ISU, things may be getting better, but there is still a plague of STD's upon us, and I prefer my urine yellow or clear (not discoloered) and not accompanied with a burning sensation. So, I make a split second decision that I gotta get out of there as soon as possible. This girl for like a split second looks the other direction, and in that instant without saying anything I just turn around and v-line to where my coat is, grab it and leave the party. I thanked the guy who had the party for such an awesome party and what not, but this girl must have thought she had been hallucinating because I vanished. Not even Houdini could have mastered a better escape. I suppose this makes me an ass for just dropping this girl like I drop benjamins on my bling, but it had to be done. I was afraid if i did not leave then, my drunken mind would let Jebidiah (aka little Nathan, and if that isn't obvious enough, the silo of my seed, and if you don't get that, you suck), anyways, I did not want to let Jebidiah to start making decision for me. I find myself lucky, considering how drunken I was, taht it didn't happen. Well taht is my story, I bid you all good day, now I must go pee and start studying for finals.