“Uh oh

Book 4

Written by: Al & Cari

Finished: August 2007

“Uh oh.”

Tracy glanced up from the computer she was at and glanced at Amber. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh…I’ll be in the back.” She hurried away from the desk before Tracy could respond and disappeared into the backroom.

Tracy shook her head and looked in the direction Amber had been. Then she saw why Amber had made a hasty retreat into the backroom-Dylan Snaith. A regular at the store, Dylan was a few years out of high school and one of the nerdiest, annoying kids Tracy had ever had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing.

He started coming into the store during his High School years, attracted to the stores collection of comic books and fantasy section. When Amber had been hired on at the store, his visits increased so that he would be in the store when she was working. His attempts at asking her out had failed miserably, but that never seemed to concern Dylan.

Tracy had once heard that the definition of insanity was trying the same thing over and over and each time expecting a different result. If that was the definition of insanity, than Dylan was the living proof.

It had become a running joke among the employees at Amber’s expense-the nerdy kid who wouldn’t leave her alone-her own stalker. Amber had become quite skilled in recent months at managing to avoid Dylan, from taking her lunch and breaks as he was coming in, to finding things to do in the back. Dylan, despite his bragged about 4.0 grade point average, didn’t seem to catch on.

“Why hello Tracy.” Dylan stopped by the counter, glancing in the direction of the comic books and manga. “Is Amber working today?”

Tracy repressed a shudder. Dylan reminded her of the kid from Family Guy that was always after Meg. He had the freckled, acne covered face with a mop of brown frizzy hair and large glasses. The only reason the staff tolerated him was because he spent a large amount of money on books…but that was the only reason. “No, I think she just left on her lunch.”

Dylan grinned. “Not a problem. I’ve got a few hours to kill. I got tickets to an anime con down at SeaTac mall-it’s going to be great! I’m thinking about dressing up like-“

“I’m sorry, Dylan, I have to go help the guy in history.” Tracy scurried away before Dylan could finish his long, drawn out thought.

She ducked into the history section and saw David flipping though a book. “Aren’t you supposed to be shelving those?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping customers?”

“We’ve got Dylan and Frances here.” Tracy pointed out. “Not exactly customers who need our help.”

“No, they need professional help.” David glanced over the comic book section where he could see the top of Dylan’s curly head. “I should look into getting a new job.”

“Oh no you don’t. Not until I’m out of here.”

“Psst! Tracy!”

Tracy turned to see Amber poking her head out from the children’s section. “He’s still here.” She said to her and Amber retreated to the safety of the backroom.

David checked his watch. “You closing with Raquel?”

“Yeah. It’s always interesting when I work with her.”

“Has Dylan met her?”

“I don’t know. Why?

“She could scare the hell out of him, make him never want to come back.”

“Hmm…I was thinking about just telling him Amber has an STD.”

A customer interrupted them. “Excuse, I need help finding a book for my six year old daughter. It’s her birthday, and she likes fairies.”

Tracy and David looked at each other. Neither one them cared much about fairies. It would be a job for Joyce, if she were there.

“Betty’s in back room. Why don’t I get her?” David suggested.

As if she were psychic, Betty bounced out of the backroom. “When you’re done unloading those boxes for Nicholl, let me know Amber, and I’ll have you work on magazines,” she instructed before the door swung closed.

Immediately, Dylan’s ears perked up. “Hey, you girl, who was just helping me, she is here. You lied,” he shouted into the store.

Betty was offended. “Can I help you, sir?”

“I’ll take care of this one,” Tracy breathed to David. “Betty, I need you over here.” Betty turned away from the Dylan and Tracy told her what the customer was looking for. Perking up immediately, Betty led the customer to the children’s section. Tracy rolled her eyes, and hurried over to Dylan.

“Keep your voice down!” She hissed. “This is a bookstore!”

“Yeah, but you’re not a library. Now where’s Amber?”

“She’s busy!”

“Why’d you lie to me?”

“I didn’t lie-I didn’t know she was here.” Tracy knew that if she kept talking, she’d get sucked into a long, drawn out debate. “Look, I’m sure she’d love to talk to you, but she’s rather busy. Why don’t you come back next week or something?”

“Because I’m busy then-and I’ve got nothing planned for today. I’ll wait.”

“But-“

“I’m a paying customer.” He glared at her and Tracy glared back. “I will wait until she comes out to talk to me.” With that, he grabbed a comic off the shelf and walked over to one of the large leather chairs spread out among the store. He sat, gave Tracy a pointed look, and starting flipping through his book.

Tracy clenched her fists, wanting to show him the way out of the store courtesy her foot, but figured that wouldn’t go over so well. So she went into the backroom.

Amber was staring a book in her hands and jumped when Tracy tapped her on the shoulder. “Is he gone?”

“Look, he won’t leave until you talk to him. Maybe you should just go out there and tell him that you’re not interested.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? He doesn’t seem to get the picture!” Amber sighed, setting the book down. “All because I once said that I liked WarHammer. I knew I never should have opened my mouth.”

“Well, you have to do something. Tell him you’ve got an STD.” Amber’s eyes widened and Tracy rolled hers. “I’ll tell him for you, if it helps.”

“I can’t tell him that!”

“Oh for crying out loud-“ She cut off as Betty bounced into the backroom, meaning that it was almost time for her and David to leave.

“What was the meaning of that young man saying you were lying to him?” She demanded of Tracy as she gathered her things. “I’d be ashamed if one of our employees was lying to a paying, loyal customer.”

“He’s a stalker.” Tracy replied.

“A stalker?” Betty repeated. “Well, that’s just silly. A nice young man like that?”

Amber and Tracy exchanged glances as David came wondering in from outside, pulling an empty cart. He stopped when saw the three women. “Whose on the floor?” Silence descended as he methodically put away the cart and went to the lockers to gather his backpack. “See you tomorrow.” He said as he signed out and disappeared out the door.

“I’ll go.” Tracy said quickly and ran out of the room.

The store was relatively quiet, with only a few people milling around. Dylan looked up from his comic, frowned when he saw Tracy, and returned to his reading.

The front door chimed and Raquel walked in. She looked her usual drab self-head to foot in black and silver. Her usually dyed black hair was now a deep red and she gave Tracy a half smile when she saw her. “I late?”

Tracy glanced at the clock by the registers. “Two minutes. I think we can let it slide.”

Betty walked out of the backroom, dragging a suitcase with her. “Raquel, you’re late!”

Raquel rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Hey, have the new tabloids come yet? I wanna know if Brad and Angie were secretly married in the Bahamas this weekend.”

David walked back in the store.

“Didn’t you leave?” Tracy asked.

“Yes.”

Silence.

“Then why are you here?”

“The cop wouldn’t let me leave.”

“Cop?” Raquel ran to the front window.

“Yeah. I was standing at my car, and I heard something like firecrackers going off. Before I know it, there’s a cop screaming at me to get back in the building.”

“Wow! Look at all the flashing lights!”

Everyone in the store except Betty and Amber suddenly rushed up front and pressed their hands and faces to the glass to catch the action.

“Did old man Harvey finally burn down his electronic store?” Tracy wondered. She didn’t see any flames, but she couldn’t see much. “Remember the last fire he started? It burned through the travel agency and put them out of business. It’s still empty.”

“Maybe Collin finally murdered Denae,” Raquel suggested. “I bet he shoved her body into that huge freezer in the back. Her body’ll shatter when they try to pull it out!”

The two customers standing next to Raquel scooted away.

“It’s the gun store,” Dylan pointed out.

It was true. All the emergency vehicles were lined up outside the 2^nd Amendment Gun Shop.

“That explains the firecrackers,” Tracy said.

“I wonder who got shot? Do you see Denae or Collin?”

“Raquel, give it a rest.”

A stereotypical looking cop with dark hair and mustache came up to the door. “Police! Open up!”

“Does he think we can’t see him?” Raquel snickered. “It’s unlocked.”

Tracy held the door open for the cop.

“Until further notice everyone is to remain in this store. The strip mall is in a state of lockdown. If anyone comes in or out of this store you are to call 911 immediately,” the officer explained in a monotone and bored voice.

“What’s going on?” Betty cried from the back room. She had her sweater and her purse, ready to leave.

“We’re stuck here,” Raquel summarized.

“But my grandkids! They’re waiting for me!”

“Sorry,” the cop offered. Then he left.

“What’s all the noise?” Amber poked her head out the back door, saw Dylan, yelped, and disappeared again.

“I saw you!” Dylan shouted and pointed to the door. “You can run but you can’t hide!”

“I have to call my grandkids!” Betty exclaimed. “They’re expecting me. We’re supposed to finger paint today. I bought a whole new paint set from Target.” She scurried to the back room.

“I think they’re at a standoff,” Raquel said. “I think we’ll be here a while.”

“Well, folks,” Tracy said to the worried couple trapped in the store with the psychos. “Have a seat. Read. If you get hungry, we can see if Steve left any Ding Dongs in his locker

again.”

“Oh, so that’s where he keeps it. I was afraid he didn’t have one.”

The customers went bug-eyed at Raquel, “We’ll find something to do,” and they hurried to the back of the store.

“Great. What are we going to do?” Tracy sighed.

“Is that Steve?” David pointed across the roped off parking lot to the crowd gathering to watch the show. Steve’s short, pudgy, bleach blonde hair could easily be spotted ducking under the yellow tape.

“What’s he doing here? He doesn’t work today.”

“Maybe he’s bringing us Ding Dongs,” Raquel answered.

“I want a Ding Dong.” Dylan brightened.

“You wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did have one.”

“Raquel!” Tracy silenced her.

Steve darted across the parking lot, but only made it halfway before a cop stopped him.

“It doesn’t look good for him. He needs a phaser,” Dylan said.

Steve and the cop were in some sort of shouting match. Arms flailed, feet stamped, and faces turned red. Finally, another office came up, grabbed Steve by the arm, twisted it behind his back and slammed his against the car.

“He’s arresting Steve!” Tracy gasped.

“Cool!” Raquel grinned. “Look, he’s still fighting with the cop.”

“That’s resisting arrest. He’s going to get himself into more trouble,” David observed.

“They’re putting him in the back of a cop car. What’s Nate going to say to all this?”

“Who cares? This is awesome!” Raquel pressed her face against the glass. “I don’t have bail money. Too bad Amber can’t watch this.”

The three of them turned to Dylan.

“What?” he shrugged.

Twenty minutes later the excitement was gone. The couple sat in the chairs in the back and talked, flipped through magazines, and avoided the employees as much as they could. Betty paced the store going crazy that she couldn’t get to her grandkids. Dylan hovered outside the back room door calling to Amber, who didn’t answer. Raquel flipped through a magazine at the counter.

“This is horrible! They’re all alone at the school waiting for me to pick them up. They’re probably scared and crying,” Betty paced in front of the register. If anyone told her about Steve, she didn’t seem worried. The cop car with him in it left. Raquel guessed he was whimpering in jail.

“No, that’s going to be me if you don’t shut up,” Raquel snapped.

Betty was too distracted to hear her. “Where are Tracy and David?”

Raquel shrugged. “I don’t know. They disappeared together about ten minutes ago.”

“I’m going to be in the kids department. No! I’m going to call Nate again and give him an update. I should probably call the school again. Oh, this is awful!” Betty disappeared into the back room.

Raquel let out a sign of relief and shoved her magazine aside. Leaving the counter, she skittered through the aisles until she found Tracy and David in the Fiction section. Tracy had a pile of books at her feet, and David leaned against the bookshelves, arms crossed, looking bored. He gave Raquel a look. “Hey.”

Raquel shook her head. “Every time I think I can catch you two, you pull something like this.” David gave her a blank look and Tracy looked over her shoulder.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. What are you doing?”

“Avoiding Betty.” David replied.

“Alphabetizing.” Tracy growled yanking another book from the shelf. “This is ridiculous! Does anyone in this store know their alphabet!?”

“I think Shane does. I hear him sing it to himself all the time.”

“Shane’s an idiot.” Tracy muttered, pulling yet another book.

Raquel raised her eyebrows and gave a faint smile. Maybe she was beginning to rub off on Tracy. Her hopes were dashed as Tracy suddenly asked, “Who’s watching the registers?”

“No one. Because there’s no one in the store.” Raquel reminded.

Tracy pushed some loose hair out of her face. “They still haven’t resolved that?”

“Not that I’m aware of. I’ll go see.” Raquel left the two and went to the front of the store, peering out. The cops were still milling around, and the crowd had swelled outside the police barriers. Raquel didn’t really understand why-nothing interesting had happened. Then she noticed the news cameras and chuckled. The people had come out just to be on the news.

“Whoa. Is that a news crew?”

Raquel turned to Amber. “Aren’t you supposed to be hiding in the backroom?”

Amber shuddered. “Betty is driving me crazy. I’d rather deal with Dylan. Besides, I think he’s in the bathroom-when I came out, I didn’t see him.” She peered nervously over her shoulder. “What should I do about him, anyway?”

“Why you askin’ me?”

“Well…you’re good at scaring people off.”

“And you want to learn?” Raquel shook her head. “Sorry, Amber, but you’re just too pure to learn stuff like that. Maybe after you finally tell off a manager, then we can talk.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Can you at least help me with him-“

“You know what I just realized?” It was David, who had come up to see for himself what was going on when Raquel hadn’t returned. “Remember that guy looking for a book about fairies? He never bought a book and he’s not in the store…and there’s a window in the men’s restroom…”

Amber and Raquel glanced at each other.

“What are you suggesting?” Amber finally wanted to know.

Before David could respond, Dylan appeared. “Amber!” He cried when he saw her. “I knew you couldn’t hide from me forever! Look, I have tickets to-“

“Oh, shut up!” Raquel snapped and turned back to David. “Are you thinking that the guy who asked for fairies is the guy that the police are after?”

David shrugged. “I never assume anything.”

“It wouldn’t matter anyway.” Amber pointed out. “He’s no longer in the store-it’s up to the police to find him.”

David looked past them, towards the back of the store. “Maybe not.”

Everyone followed his gaze. The guy who was looking for the book earlier was now slipping out of the men’s restroom. He looked winded, and he hugged a coat around himself.

Raquel drew in a breath. “I have a very bad feeling about this.”

“Call the cops.” Dylan told her. “Before he kills us all!”

“Stop being such a drama-king.” Amber muttered. “He’s not going to kill us.”

“You don’t know that!” Dylan was starting to border on hysteria. He glanced at the man, who was hanging back by the restroom, glancing around nervously. “He looks like a killer to me!”

The phone rang at the front desk and Raquel and David exchanged a glance. “Not it.” Raquel said and David rolled his eyes, making his way to the ringing phone.

“We need to get the police!” Dylan hissed to Raquel. “If you don’t, this whole store could be charged with obstructing the law! Do you know what they do to people who obstruct the police?”

Raquel rolled her eyes. Maybe she should have gotten the phone after all.

“Thank you for calling Nate’s Books, can I help you?”

“David? Is that you?”

There was a pause. “Steve?”

“Yeah! Listen, you have to get me out of here! I can’t spend the night in jail!”

“Don’t tell me you wasted your one phone call just to call the store.”

“I had to! Do you know what my parents will do to me if they find out I’m in jail!? Besides, I’m innocent! I was just trying to get the store to make sure you all were OK-“

“We saw you arguing with the cop.”

“Yeah…I told him I had to get to work…” Steve sounded sheepish. “Not my best move, but that’s beside the point! Please, I need $500 in bail.”

“I doubt Nate’s going to feel that generous.”

Steve sounded like he was going to cry. “I don’t have $500…I’m good for it, I promise!”

“Don’t you owe Shane $20 from lunch the other day?”

There was quiet on the other end of the phone. “Um…is Betty there?”

David spotted Dylan creeping among the shelves, approaching the guy with the coat. He glanced at Raquel, who just shrugged. Amber made her way over. “I think he’s planning on taking him out.” She whispered.

“David? Is Betty around?” Steve was asking on the other end.

“No.” David watched Dylan creep closer. “Think we should call the cops?”

“What!?” Steve shrieked over the phone.

“On which one?” Amber countered.

Tracy joined the two at the front desk. “Why’s the geeky kid trying to stalk the fairy guy?”

“He thinks he’s the one who knocked over the gun shop.” Amber said with a sigh.

Tracy glanced at David. “Wonder who gave him that idea.”

David shrugged. “Just making an observation.”

“Hello? I can hear you all talking! Someone get me out of here! They’re motioning that I have 3 minutes left!” Steve was practically screaming, but David had set the receiver down, so his voice was tiny.

“This should be interesting.” Amber said. “Think we should tell Betty?”

“And give her a heart attack?” Raquel asked and everyone turned to stare at her. She grinned. “Sure, let’s do that.”

They watched Dylan creep closer, and grab a Guinness Book of World Records off the shelf. The guy leaned against a bookcase, holding a book awkwardly in his hand, trying to blend in, aware that the employees were all standing within view of him.

“Do you hear that?”

Tracy glanced at Amber. “Hear what?”

“I dunno…sounds like a midget on steroids.”

All heads turned to the phone. “Oh. That’s Steve.” David said, watching Dylan give a few practice swings with the book. The couple reading in the corner saw Dylan doing this and exchanged concerned glances.

“Steve’s calling from jail?” Raquel asked, suddenly interested. She grabbed the phone. “Hey. Been jail raped yet?”

“Raquel, you have to get me out of here!”

“No, I think it’s good for you to be in your natural habitat.”

“Raquel!”

“Hold on. The geek’s gonna take out the gunman.”

“WHAT?”

At that moment, three things happened all at once. Dylan exploded from his hiding place, screaming a war cry and brandishing his book at the poor guy huddled next to the bookcases. Betty stepped out of the backroom, a cell phone to her ear, and screamed bloody murder as she saw Dylan take out the customer. At the same time, the doors to the bookstore flew open and a police officer yelled,

“The lockdown has ended. You’re all free to leave.”

“David? David?” squeaked Steve.

“Follow the yellow-brick road,” David said into the mouthpiece, and hung up the phone.

Once the police left the bookstore and the strip mall, Betty recovered her panic attack and went to pick up her grandkids, and Dylan was kicked out of the store permanently, things quieted down.

“Can you believe Dylan tackled an innocent customer?” Tracy rummaged through her locker, taking her time packing things up. Betty had called Nate, told him everything, and Nate freaked and told everyone it was ok to close the store and go home early. No one argued.

“Yeah,” Amber said. “The guy is dangerous.”

“You’re only saying that because he wants to tackle you,” Raquel stuck out her lower lip and applied a fresh layer of black lipstick.

“Shut up, Raquel. What was that guy doing in the bathroom the whole time?”

“Apparently, he had Mexican food the night before,” Tracy answered. “Did you walk by after he walked out? We need a better ventilation system.”

“And all this time I thought you and David were in the bathroom taking advantage of the downtime so I stayed away.” Raquel swung her black skull and cross-bone decorated back over her shoulder.

Before Tracy could answer, the phone rang.

“It’s probably Steve again.” Raquel picked up the phone. “Yo. Nate’s Books. We’re closed…Oh, hi Nate.”

Amber went wide-eyed and clasped her hands over her mouth. “We’re in trouble! He wants to keep the bookstore open longer! That’s why he called!”

“If he wants the store to stay open, he’s going to have to come in and work it himself.” Tracy turned to David. “Want to come with me to pick up Steve?”

“Sure.” David pulled his backpack straps over his shoulders.

“Ok, bye Nate.” Raquel hung up the phone.

“So it wasn’t Steve?” David asked.

“Nope. It was worse. Nate wants to start an employee of the month program.”

“What!” the three of them gasped at the same time. “You’re kidding.”

“It gets worse. Guess who the first winner is?”

They exchanged glances. “Who?”

“Steve.”

Silence.

“Seriously?” Tracy questioned. “Why?”

“For showing great dedication to the store by showing up to make sure we were all ok.”

“He could have been shot,” Amber said slowly. “Since when do we award stupidity?”

“I would have given it to him if he’d been shot,” Raquel said, “but since he wasn’t, this just sucks.”

Tracy turned to David. “Let’s go home.”

“Aren’t you going to pick up Steve?” Amber asked.

“No. He’s on his own.”

“See you tomorrow.”

The group left.