“Oh, Tracy, you look like you’re in pain

Book Twelve: Valentine’s Day Blues

Authors: Cari & Al

Written: February-March 2008

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day-enter a local romance writer, and several unscheduled visitors.

* * *

“Oh, Tracy, you look like you’re in pain.”

Tracy glanced over to the register and gave Joyce a crooked smile. “I just got through with the dentist.” Her words came out slightly slurred and she grimaced.

Joyce made a face. “On Valentine’s Day? That’s horrible.”

“Tell me about it.” The left side of her face was still numb, and she had a splitting headache. It wasn’t exactly how she wanted to spend the most romantic day of the year-at work and numbed. Still, it got her out of two hours of her work shift, and a break from dealing with Betty, who had been on her case for the past week. She glanced towards the small table set up near the front of the store. “That her?”

Joyce glanced in her direction. “Yeah, that’s Robin Flores, romance writer extraordinaire.”

The two women shared a secret smile-in truth, Robin Flores was a local romance writer who had published two books in the past five years and had sold maybe three copies overall, and probably only to her immediate family. Still, she was one of Betty’s favorite authors, and when she called to ask if she could come in and sign a few books, Betty literally cried with joy.

“Steve, when you’re finished with that, give Nicole a hand with the magazines, will you?”

Tracy stiffened. “Betty is still here?!”

“Yep. She’s been doting on Miss Flores since she got here at 10. I don’t even think she knows that she’s been off-duty for the past two hours. And…well, I don’t think you’ll like this, but they called Shane in to cover for you…”

Tracy felt as if someone had just conked her over the head with a sledgehammer. “I told her I’d be in today. Why does Shane need to cover for me?”

Joyce shrugged. “I don’t do the schedules.”

“Oh, Tracy, you’re here!” Betty bustled up to the registers. “That’s wonderful. Did you have a good time at the dentist?”

For the first time since she met her, Tracy wished she could be Raquel just for that moment, but she was too afraid of losing her chance at Assistant Manager to say anything.

“Fantastic.” She managed to smile until she saw Matilda waddle out the back room with a box of mini books.

“Did I hear somethin’ bout the dentist?” Matilda wanted to know. “My son, the one in Urktusk, he got dentist work once-it was so funny to see him drink water. Did they drill on your teeth? That hurts. Sometimes you bleed a lot and you run the risk of choking on your blood.”

Betty grinned, her eyes flickered back and forth between Tracy and Joyce. “Uh…Well, why don’t you sign in, Tracy, then come out and meet Miss Flores? Oh, and I made brownies for Valentine’s Day-help yourself, dear.” And she flounced off to talk to the writer.

“Them are good brownies, too.” Matilda noted as she squeezed herself between the counter and the bookmark stand to fill in the mini book spinner. “Lotsa chocolate. My son, the one in Urktusk, he don’t eat chocolate-it gives him the runs, and-“

Tracy ran to the backroom, leaving Joyce to fend for herself. She found Nicole slicing into cardboard boxes and extracting the magazines. Steve sat on the ground, organizing a large stack of children’s books.

“James and the Giant Peach?” Tracy questioned, staring down as he flipped through the book. “Seriously?”

“It’s a good book!” Steve beamed. “It’s been my staff pick for the past two months.”

“I noticed.” Tracy wondered if he actually read it himself or if his mom read it to him. The only books Steve might be able to read on his own were board books.

Tracy dumped her stuff into a locker, filled her water bottle from the water cooler, then plopped down at Nate’s desk to flip through the manager notebook. There was a brief message from Nate explaining how Flores should be treated, a note from Shane about the amount of water the staff had gone through in the past few weeks, and Betty’s loopy handwriting wishing everyone a happy Valentine’s Day complete with a heart over the “i” and under the “!”.

The backroom door swung open and Betty appeared. “Are you ready to meet Miss Flores? She’s simply the most charming woman I’ve ever met-we were talking earlier about how she gets ideas for her stories-“

“Oh, yeah!” Steve sprang to his feet in excitement, dropping the Sandra Boynton book he was looking through. “I forgot to tell you, she wants to make me a character in her new book.”

Tracy gaped at Steve. “Is this a joke?” She looked to Betty for the answer.

“Isn’t it wonderful to have someone we know and work with be embodied in a book?” Betty asked. “This way, the memory of Steve will live forever.”

“As what? A court jester?”

“Nope, she wants to make me the hero. The main character, can you believe it?” Steve did his Tarzan beating on his chest impersonation. “She’s been taking notes on me all morning.”

Tracy couldn’t think of anything else to say except, “Congratulations?”

“Well, if you’re all signed in, let me introduce you to Miss Flores.” Betty dragged Tracy out of the backroom and up to the signing table. “Robin, I’d like you meet Tracy, she’s one of our keyholders.”

Robin Flores was an elderly woman who looked like she stepped right out of New Jersey from the 80’s. Her badly dyed brown hair was swept up in a beehive type fashion, and she wore bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow that took up half her forehead. Her eyebrows looked painted on and her shiny pink jumpsuit reminded Tracy of a Barbie doll spacesuit. The perfume surrounding the woman was enough to suffocate an elephant.

“Tracy, glad to meet you.” Flores had a voice that sounded like she smoked five packs a day. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Oh…uh, thanks. You too.”

The front door opened and Betty turned to greet the customer.

“Hey, Tracy, I-sweet Mary, mother of Jesus!” It was Raquel, decked out in her usual black outfit and she froze when she saw Betty. Her eyes went wide, and she whirled to rush out of the store.

“Ah, Raquel!” Betty cheered.

Raquel jerked back as if she’d reached the end of an invisible leash. “Agh, she got me!”

“How wonderful of you to come in on your day off and visit! And just in time to see Robin Flores!”

“Uh…what? Today’s my day off?”

“Meet Ms. Flores. Maybe she’ll put you in one of her stories.”

“How charming to meet you.” Robin smiled. Her bright red lipstick smeared on her teeth.

“What cheap perfume did you marinate yourself in? Ack! I’m going to check the schedule.” Raquel backed into Tracy, turned, smacked into the mystery shelf, and spun around to face the backroom. “I’m all right!”

Betty smiled and put her hands on her hips. Her dangly pink heart earrings bounced into place. “We have a great staff, Robin. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m going to leave soon. My grandkids are waiting for me. Today we’re going to make birdfeeders with peanut butter and toilet paper rolls. I saved a bunch of empty rolls from the restrooms here.”

“Sounds like you’ll have a nice time.”

Raquel came back. “I’m leaving. I thought I worked today, but Betty must have changed the schedule without telling me.”

“I thought I called you,” Betty pouted. “I’m sorry. At least you came in to try one of my brownies.”

Raquel wiped the brownie crumbs off her lips with the back of her arm. “It almost made it worth it. Bye.”

“Wait!” Robin jumped in front of Raquel. “Is this your natural hair?” Robin grabbed a handful of Raquel’s hair and watched it fall back into place.

“Stop it, evil witch lady!” Raquel clutched her hair to her head. “Next time you touch me you’ll lose an arm!”

Robin clapped her hands together. “Wonderful! Just wonderful! She’ll make a great heroine in my next story.”

Raquel let go of her hair and looked up. “What?”

“You’ve got great curves, and nice perky breasts. Will you try on a dress for me?”

“Get me the hell away from this woman!”

“Now, Raquel, be nice to Robin. She asked nicely,” Betty said.

“Here it is.” Robin pulled a purple, lace-up, wench dress out of her Value Village bag. A gust of cigarette smoke came with it. “Classic Renaissance.”

Raquel looked the dress up and down. “Hey, that’s kinda cool.”

“What are you all lookin’ at?” Matilda trumped over. Robin held up the dress and shook it out. “That’s a pretty dress. I wore a dress like that once. It was a long time ago when I was a waitress. My boobie popped out during the dessert course.” Matilda snorted as she laughed.

“I guess I could try it. Can I wear it with my boots?” Raquel lifted her baggy pants to reveal her black arm boots with red and white striped stockings underneath.

“Of course, dear.” Robin handed it to her. “Hurry. I’ll be waiting here.”

“Oh, this is so exciting,” Betty gushed.

Tracy followed Raquel to the bathroom. “You really going to do this?”

Raquel shrugged as she slipped into a stall. “Well, it’s not my idea of a great time, but it’s this or go home and be depressed over Single’s Awareness Day.”

“You’re always depressed.”

“True.” There was a pause. “Hm…what do you think?” She stepped out of the stall and Tracy arched her eyebrows. It did look pretty good on her, though the cut was really low on her chest, showing signs on a red bra. It was also the first time Tracy had seen her in something other than red or black.

“You looked like you stepped off the cover of a cheap romance novel.”

Raquel looked at herself in the mirror and smoothed the skirt. “Yeah, that’s true. I’m not big on the purple…do you think it sells in black?”

Betty’s voice sounded from outside the door. “Raquel? Tracy? Are you decent?”

Raquel rolled her eyes and the two marched dutifully out of the bathroom. Betsy’s eyes went wide at the low cut of the dress and her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh dear…”

“Oh, it’s perfect!” Robin exclaimed, clapping her hands when she saw Raquel parade out of the bathroom. Several customers turned to stare at her and Robin was on her feet, walking around Raquel like she was a mannequin. From behind the registers, Joyce’s mouth was dropped open. “I’ve already got a name all chosen out for you-Chastity Heart. I knew you’d like it. Now, if only I could come up with a name for the hero…”

“Hero?” Raquel repeated.

“Oh, yes, I chose that nice young man that works here. Steve, wasn’t it?”

A look of horror passed over Raquel’s face. “STEVE!?”

“Yes,” Tracy confirmed. “The tall, dark, and handsome hero is none other than the short, blonde, and chubby Steve.”

“Someone call-holy moly, Raquel, what are you wear-“ Steve’s voice cut off abruptly when he caught site of the low cut dress. “Holy moly.” He repeated.

“Oh, aren’t you two just the cutest couple you’ve ever seen?” Robin gushed. Tracy snorted a bout of laughter and Betsy eyed the two of them, her face a mixture of ‘aw, how cute’ and

‘that dress shouldn’t be so low!’. Steve stood rooted to the spot, mouth agape, eyes on Raquel (or her chest), and Raquel looked like she wanted to jump through the window and run screaming down the street.

The chime over the front door sounded and Shane walked in, carrying a cup of coffee, back from his break. He stopped short and yanked his Seahawks cap off his head to get a better look when he saw Raquel. “Uh…” He swallowed, looked away, and managed “Is this the right store?”

“I’m getting the hell out of here.” Raquel whirled to march back to the bathroom when the chime sounded again and in strolled Jason and Drew. The front of the store was beginning to feel a little crowded.

Jason pulled up short when he saw Raquel, but Drew didn’t even flinch. “Raquel, girl, you work that dress. Like the bra thing, too, adds a little something, you know? But too bad it’s in purple--black would be much more suiting.”

“Oh, no, black would totally ruin the experience,” Robin corrected. “No respectable romance author would ever put their heroine in black.”

“Heroine?” Shane sputtered, looking around. “What did I miss? Who in their right mind would choose Raquel as their heroine?”

“Oh, she totally fits the part. She’s going to be the rebel princess who saves her kingdom from the destruction of rabid werewolves.”

“Can someone watch registers?” Joyce ran by with her hand over her mouth and kicked the door open to the women’s room.

“What was that about?” Tracy asked.

“I don’t know. She’s been throwing up all morning.” Betty frowned. “I asked if she was sick, but she said it was nothing. I would have sent her home but David called out sick this

morning. He’s got the flu, poor guy.”

“Can this Valentine’s Day get any worse?!” Tracy threw her hands up in the air in surrender. “I’ll watch the registers. Ow! I think I bit my tongue.”

“I wish she would learn to relax.” Betty shook her head.

“Hey, guys, my dress.” Raquel clutched the front to her chest. “I think the zipper popped in the back.”

Steve’s eyes widened at the site of Raquel’s red bra straps.

“I’ll fix it.” Robin grabbed the shoulder area of the dress and yanked. Raquel’s chest arched forward.

“I gotta go.” Steve scampered away.

“Stop it, devil woman!” Raquel cursed.

“Raquel, you’re making a scene,” Betty chastised.

Matilda chortled. “I had the same problem with my dress. They had to superglue it to my back because the zippers wouldn’t stay shut.”

Raquel screamed. “Get this thing off me!”

Steve groaned from somewhere in the store.

“I think you look very pretty in that dress,” Jason said.

“Really?” Raquel perked up.

“Yeah. You should wear more dresses.”

“We have to do something with you hair, though.” Drew brushed Robin away and swept Raquel’s hair on top of her head. “I think I have a couple bobby pins.”

“That dress would look perfect with an H&K USP,” Jason commented.

“No, no guns,” Betty said quickly.

Raquel pouted and flinched when Drew shoved a bobby pin into her hair. Shane shook his head. “Betty, you can go ahead and get home. I think I can handle it for a while.”

“Well…” Betty glanced around the store and wrung her hands together.

Joyce staggered out of the bathroom and joined Tracy at the front desk. Tracy stopped mentally yelling at Betty and Shane to get the hell out of the store and glanced at Joyce. “Hey,

you OK?”

“Just a little nausea, that’s all.” She took a deep breath and picked up her water bottle, taking a long drink. Tracy frowned and looked her over.

“You sure? I can probably talk Raquel into covering your shift.”

“I said I’m fine.” Joyce snapped, and immediately looked guilty. “Sorry.”

“Hey, no problem. If you need to rest, let me know. Matilda can watch the registers.”

Betty approached the registers and gathered her things together. “Well, I think Shane can handle it from here on out. I don’t want to be late picking up the grandkids.”

“Isn’t Shane going to be going home now that I’m here?”

Betty looked over at Tracy. “I gave him the option, but I think he wants to stay here to keep an eye on Raquel. It was sweet of her to come into work on her day off, but really, that girl needs a lesson on simple decency. Besides, dear, you’ve just had some dentist work done-I don’t want to put too much strain on you.” She shook her head in pity and moved to the backroom to get the rest of her supplies.

Tracy glowered at Betty’s back, then turned to glower at Shane, who was trying to get Raquel, Drew and Jason out of the building without coming across as a jerk. Matilda shared her ideas for the story was Robin scribbled her notes in her notebook.

Beside her, Joyce groaned and covered her mouth.

“Again?”

Joyce nodded.

“Hey Steve!”

Steve peeked out from the Science Fiction section. “Is Raquel still here?” He asked in a tight voice.

“Can you watch the registers? I think I’m going to send Joyce home, and I need to ask Matilda if she can stay later.”

“What?”

“I need you to watch the registers.”

Steve tilted his head, confused. “I can’t understand you.”

Tracy stalked over, grabbed his shirt and hauled him behind the registers. “Stay!” She ordered and headed back into the group at the front of the store.

“You guys can take this over to Drew’s.” Shane suggested, trying unsuccessfully to usher them out the front door.

“I gotta get out of this dress first.”

“I’m almost done.” Drew told her.

“How delightful! Our heroine has her very own man-servant.” Robin made note of that in her notebook.

“I don’t want to be a character in your book.” Raquel grated. “Especially if Steve is the hero.”

“Oh, but Steve is just the kind of man every woman wants. Of course, I may have to make him just a little taller. He can’t very well kiss the fair woman when she’s a whole head taller than her, can he?”

Raquel wrenched herself away from Drew and ran for the bathroom. To Tracy’s surprise, Drew followed. “Hang on, I’ve almost got it!” He called and ran through the door. There was a shriek of surprise, then Drew stumbled out. “Well that was uncalled for.” He muttered.

Shane looked aghast. “What is going on?”

“Who is Raquel kissing?” Jason looked up from the military book he was flipping through. “Not that short kid with funny hair?”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ short.” Matilda said matter-of-factly. “My son, the one in Urktusk, he short, and he get all kindsa girls. They love him there-probably cause he’s from America and-“

“Urktusk? I don’t think I’ve heard of it. Where is it?” Jason asked.

“Overseas.”

“Raquel, I’m sorry,” Joyce apologized. “I was in a hurry, and had no idea that your clothes were in there.”

Raquel stormed up to the group, her eyes narrowed, and Joyce begged forgiveness behind her.

“What happened?” Shane asked.

“I threw up on her clothes.” Joyce looked embarrassed.

Robin glanced up from her notebook. “Really dear,” Robin said in a clear, loud voice. “The morning sickness will pass. Just wait for the birth, that’s the hard part. I should know, I had five kids. All boys, if you can believe it.”

“Morning sickness?” Raquel stopped and spun around. “Joyce, are you pregnant?”

“Umm…” Joyce turned away.

“Who’s the father?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Francis burst into the store with a dozen balloons, a huge teddy bear, and a basket of chocolates, but he was too encumbered to hold the doors open long enough to pass through. They shut with the balloons tangled on the outside, and Francis flying forward on the inside. The basket of chocolates scattered across the floor, and the teddy bear took a nose dive to the ground.

“Oh crap! I can’t look at food!” Joyce put her hand over her mouth and ran to the restroom.

“No! Not on my clothes again!” Raquel ran after her.

“She’s going to mess up her hair!” Drew ran after Raquel.

“Are you ok?” Steve ran over to help Francis up. “Who’s all this for? You got a lot of stuff.”

Francis adjusted his glasses and tried to flatten his short curly hair. “I brought these for Joyce. I hope she likes them. Is she here? She told me she was working today.”

“How sweet of you!” Robin squealed. “This is the perfect day to start my new romance novel.”

“Who’s she?” Francis asked.

“Steve, stop eating the chocolates,” Tracy chastised.

Steve swallowed. “I wasn’t.” He shoved his hands on his bulging pockets.

“This bear would be great for target practice.” Jason picked up the bear and flushed it. “Don’t want to hit it in the eyes, though, the bullet might ricochet.”

“What is going on here?” Shane saw the mess from the registers where he had been ringing up a customer, and scowled. “Tracy, can’t you be left in charge of the store one time without the place falling apart?”

“What?! You’re blaming this on me?” Tracy gasped. “You think I wanted all this to happen? I didn’t ask for this! Betty was here, too! Ow! My tongue!”

“I didn’t mean any harm,” Francis said. “I only wanted to drop these off.”

“Enough of this!” Shane demanded. “Tracy, help Francis pick this up. Steve, take Robin back to her table for the book signing, and Jason, I think you’re missed back at the gun shop. And, oh crap, there’s people waiting at the register.”

Robin clapped her hands. “This is fantastic! What a great place to work!”

Tracy refrained from shoving the teddy bear down Robin’s throat.

Drew and Raquel came out of the bathroom, looking a little pale.

“If someone doesn’t do something for Joyce soon, I think she’ll throw up her baby,” Raquel said.

“Baby?” Francis’s voice quivered.

“Yeah, baby. Robin thinks Joyce is pregnant.”

“Oh, crap, I think he’s going to faint.” Tracy put her hand on Francis’s back and led him to the cushy chair in the fiction section. “Bend over and put your head between your legs.”

“I guess we know who the father is,” Drew said. He patted Francis on the back. “Can I get you a glass of water?”

Francis shook too much to answer.

“Drew, I think you should leave,” Tracy suggested.

“I think so, too. I think he’s going to hurl, and I’ve seen enough vomit today.” Drew left.

“Hmm…Pregnancy would be an interesting twist,” Robin mused. “Should I have the heroine become pregnant?”

“You mean, have Raquel get pregnant with Steve’s baby?” Tracy asked.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Now I’m going to hurl,” Raquel groaned.

“No! Don’t ruin my dress!”

“Until my brother shows up with another set of clothes, I’m stuck in this thing, so deal with it.”

“I’m having second thoughts about you as the heroine.” Robin frowned. “But then, if you aren’t pregnant in the story you won’t have to ruin the dress.”

“I’m only 18!” Raquel cried. “I’m too young to have a baby!”

Francis moaned.

“Guys, can you please take this conversation elsewhere?” Tracy suggested.

The place settled down after that. Raquel’s brother showed up with a change of clothes, and after that there was no persuading her to stay and finish Joyce’s shift. Tracy was left to close the store with Shane. Nicole had left, Matilda had another two hours, and Steve would be there until seven.

Robin packed up her things carefully. The book signing had been unsuccessful, but at least she had a great time. “I have so many story ideas now. I’ll send you the advanced reader copy once it’s completed. Let me know when I can come back for another book signing. I can’t wait!”

After the romance writer left, Tracy went back to find Francis. He was still sitting in the fiction section where Tracy had left him.

“Are you ok?”

Francis sniffed. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Have you seen her yet?”

“Briefly. We have a lot to talk about, but she’s too sick right now.”

“Honey?” Joyce appeared and knelt down in front of him. “Sorry I didn’t tell you. I still don’t know for sure, but will you forgive me?”

“Yeah, I forgive you. Come here.” He gave her a hug. “I brought some things for you.”

“I saw. Thank you!”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Tracy took this as her cue to leave.

“And when I was a waitress, I worked twelve hours days with no break. My husband, he’s from Norway, he had something in his ear. It was a discharge. I needed money to pay to fix it,” Matilda explained to Steve as Tracy neared the counter.

“That’s scary,” Steve agreed. “Is your husband ok now?”

“Yeah. He still can’t hear too good, but the puss is gone. I worry my son in Urktusk might get somethin’ like that.”

“I don’t think he will. Urtusk is probably a great place.”

“Yeah. It’s overseas.”

Tracy left the two of them and went into the back room to take a moment and relax. The numbness in her face was gone, but her tongue was filled with bite marks. She was disappointed to see Shane at Nate’s desk writing in the manager log. He looked up when he saw her.

“Don’t say anything,” Tracy warned. She dropped into the stool and leaned back against the sorting shelves.

Shane slammed the manager log shut and dropped the pen into the pen holder. “Nate’s going to need to know all about this.”

“Nate doesn’t have to know anything.”

“The place was a circus! Being a keyholder is a huge responsibility. We are trusting you with a million dollar store. You can’t just—“

“Shane?”

“Yeah?”

Tracy held up her middle finger.

Shane gasped. “That’s it! I’m writing you up. Of all the childish, immature, stupid things to do. . . “ Shane’s face reddened, and his gestures increased as he went on, but Tracy didn’t listen.

“Go to hell, Shane.” She stood up and walked out the back room. She knew she would pay for it later, but for that moment, it was a great Valentine’s Day.