In the bus: A lady wearing pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... why don't you try again.

At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good??
Answer: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question: Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it wont. It will just bleed.

You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!