SANTA SINGH JOKES
SANTA SINGH
WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5
plus 4?
SANTA SINGH'S MESSAGE BOARD
Santa Singh was
walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
SARDARJI & TELUGU
One day a Sardarji talking with his
friend.......
MERE HAATH MEIN KYA?
Once a Santa asks another Banta...
SANTA IN TAMILNADU EXPRESS
After making a trip of South India,
Santa Singh, his wife and his son
were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu
Express.
Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his
son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the
stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice
cream to which Santa readily agreed.
When Santa and his son returned they found that a South
Indian who couldn’t understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Santa Singh called the TC and asked him to help. TC requested that he
could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh
explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained,
that man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my
child."
SANTA'S INTERVIEW
Santa Singh, who has a bad memory, goes
for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So,
can you tell us your age, please?" Santa counts carefully on his fingers
for half a minute before replying. "Um .. 28." The interviewer tries another
straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The man stands up and produces a measuring tape from his bag. He then traps one
end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the
measurement and announces, "Five foot four!" This isn't looking good so the
interviewer goes for the real basics; something that he won't have to count,
measure, or lookup.
"Just to confirm for
our records, your name please?"
Santa Singh bobs his head from side to
side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself, before
replying, "Santa Singh!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What
were you doing when I asked you your name?" "Oh, that!" replies Santa," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"
SANTA AND HIS FRIEND
One day evening a Santa starts from
office to home with pushing his
scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...
Friend: why are you pushing your
scooter manually?
Santa: 'I forgot to bring the scooter
key from my home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come
to office from home in the morning?' Santa: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning
ANOTHER CHANCE
Banta Singh has been attending the
Singh International Training College, a school set up to give the likes of him a
chance to make it in the real world. For 10 years, he keeps failing this one
class that he needs to graduate: basic math. The administrators want to get him
out to make room for new students, but can’t just give him the grade. So, they instead decide to ask him a
simple math question at the graduation ceremony in case he fails at exams. If he answers this correctly, he
graduates. Sure enough, he fails the class again.
But, this time he is called on stage. He is made to stand before everyone
and the administrators say, 'Although you lack one class for graduation, we have
decided to pass you if you can answer this one question. What is two plus two?'
Banta Singh thinks about it for a while and finally says, 'Four.'
The whole crowd (Sardars) stands up in
objection and demands, 'Please give him another chance!'
BANTA SINGH IN HEAVEN
After death, Banta Singh reached the
door of the heaven smoothly.
There he met Saint Peter and he said,
'Well, Banta...It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these
days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you
go in.'
Banta, with lot of self confidence told
Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.
Saint Peter - How many seconds are
there in a year?
Banta, after lot of thought,
answered,'12'.
Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But
how?
Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March
2nd,..........
GARY KASPAROV
MEETS BANTA
Mr Banta Singh is
traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary
asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta: 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't
know who you are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary: 'How about if I play left handed
?'
Banta: [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and
is very upset through-out the rest
of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta: Hey! You
know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and
he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa: Oye ullu-de
pathey!! He sure did fool you!! You know what!!
Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
CHEATING...
Q: How Does a Santa Cheat the Railways?
A: He buys the ticket but doesn't
travel!
SANTA AND MARATHON RACE
Santa sees lot of guys running on the
highway.
SANTA AND HIS WIFE
Jasmeet Kaur
watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living
room.
SANTA AND HIS SON
Bobby returns from his first day at
school and immediately questions his father. "
Dad, today we had a Spelling Class
- All the other kids could only say half thhe alphabet, but I knew the whole
thing.Is that because I am a Sardar?"
"No son,that's because you are
intelligent."
Bobby seeming content with the answer,
asks his father another question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the
other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20.
Is that because I am a Sardar?"
"No , that's because you are
intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bobby poses
another question to his father.
"Dad, today we had Medical Examination,
all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height.
Is that because I am a Sardar?"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer: Give me the opposite
words. |
