Thought you'd find this amusing... :o) Of course I
added the last one myself. ;oD

You live in southern California when . . . 
 
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford
to
buy a house. 
 
2.The high school quarterback calls a time-out to
answer his cell phone. 
 
3.The fastest part of your commute is going down your
driveway. 
 
4.You know how to eat an artichoke. 
 
5.You drive to your neighborhood block party. 
 
6.When someone asks you how far something is, you tell
them how long it will take to get there because it
really doesn't matter how many miles away it is,
you'll be in traffic through all of it. 

7.You think 65 degrees is freezing cold.


You live in New York when . . . 
 
1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you
mean Manhattan. 
 
2.You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the
Empire State Building unless you had someone visiting
from out of town. 
 
3.You know that if there's construction, it can take
you 2 hours to drive 3 miles up FDR Drive even at 3
am. 
 
4.You think Central Park is a forest.
 
5.You think that being able to curse at people in
their own language makes you multi-lingual. 

6.You've worn out a car horn. 
 
7.You believe eye contact is an act of aggression.

8.You give yourself an extra 45 minutes to find a
parking spot in the "city" within a mile of your
destination.

 
You live in Alaska when . . . 
 
1.You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup,
and
Tabasco. 
 
2.Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 
 
3.You have a recipe for moose. 
 
4.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than
eight buttons. 
 
5.The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost
winter, and construction. 
 

You live in the Deep South when . . . 
 
1.You get a movie and bait in the same store. 
 
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural. 
 
3.After five years you still hear, "You ain't from
'round here, are ya?" 
 
4."He needed killin' " is a valid defense. 
 
5.Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob,
Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc. 
 

You live in Colorado when . . . 
 
1.You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500
car. 
 
2.You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his
way home and he stops at the day care center because
Granola is your kid's name. 
 
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 
 
4.The top of your head is bald, but you still have a
pony tail. 
 
 
You live in Ohio when . . . 
 
1.You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor
knows your name. 
 
2.Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor. 
 
3.You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the
same day. 
 
4.You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my
coat at?" 
 
5.When asked how your trip was to ANY exotic place,
you say, "It was different!"

6.You consider Cedar Pointe the center of your
universe.
 
 

You live in Miami when... 
 
1.You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 
 
2.All purchases include a coupon of some kind-even
houses and cars. 
 
3.You've been caught in your pool by a sudden storm,
by the time you got out of the pool and reached your
door, the storm was over and the sun was out again. 
 
4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
 
5.Cars in front of you are often driven by headless
people. 
 
6.There are only GIANT doctors in Florida (Every
person's doctor is "The Biggest" in his field) 

7.You can hurricane proof your windows and sliding
doors with your eyes closed.


And my addition...

You live in Beirut when:

1. You can't speak in just one language for more than
two sentences straight.

2. You know people by their cars... "Tony with the
silver BMW, not the blue one. Tony with the blue one
was hanging out with Jean with the black Mercedes.
They were met up by Georges with the Red GTI"

3. The guy who polishes your shoes for 250 lira has a
brand new state of the art cell phone.

4. You can't get a job because you're not Syrian,
Filipino, Sri Lankan, or Egyptian.

5. You have family members in at least three other
continents.

6. During the World Cup, you forget what country
you're in because of all the Brazilian, German,
French, and Italian flags hanging on people's cars,
balconies, and over the street.

7. The driver in front of you has a "Michael
Schumacher" sticker on his rear window.

8. You KNOW the rest of the world owes us a debt of
graditude for all we've contributed for 6,000+ years,
but instead of paying off, the bastards conspired
against us!