A. Good Quote Integration/ Analysis

B. Good Title!

C. Clear Thesis! Succinct! Yay!

D. Good Showing/Details

E. Good Syntax (way you put words in a sentence)

G. Nice Phrase!

H. Nice tone/voice; clear voice!

J.  Excellent Conclusion

K. Terrific!  You Rock!  You are the Rockingest!

L.  Perfect Format for papers.  YIPPEE!

M.  Great Hook

Comments

1 . Title Page Please!!!

2.  Thesis is weak, obvious or not arguable

3.  Syntax/Phrasing:  unclear or awkward

4.   Tense Shift – stay with one (present is best)

5.   Thesis Statement: Unclear or missing

6.  Mention the book title before the characters

7.  Underline book titles, play titles.  Quotes for short stories, poems.  Remember:  Length rule.

8.   Syntax: too simple

9.   Title - Not Snappy - BOO

10.   Avoid “you” “we” and “I” and addressing the reader in most essay writing; use “one”, “mankind”, etc.

11.   Avoid “I will prove”, “I believe/feel” statements

12. Be Specific! What, exactly, do you mean?

13. Streamline Syntax: cut unnecessary/dead words, esp. verbs preceded by “start to” “begins to”  “seems to be”, really, very, many, more, sometimes ; also, avoid “I thought”, “I felt”, “will _” etc…

14. Use active verbs in your writing, especially in your title (ending in “ing” or –ed), also, titles are rarely complete sentences!

15.  Don’t punctuate one’s own titles, only those of   published works! (no underline or quotes)

16. Never use a phrase or sentence often seen in print or speech frequently (avoid clichés!)

17.  Integrate quotes of fewer than three sentences or fifty words into paragraphs in quote sandwich form.  Indent quotes ONLY if longer than the 3 lines of typed text rule.

18.  Avoid parenthesis – don’t use them (at all). Just integrate all info into sentences.

19.  Use black tie language! Do not write as you would converse.  No contractions!

20.  Choppy sentences/ideas.  Streamline with focus   and/or improved syntax.  Use Transistion words and sentences.

21.  Incomplete ideas/ poor logic; you assume the reader knows what you do. Explain everything you mean!

22.  Refer to author or person (authors, interviewees) by first and last name the first time you mention them; by last name ONLY thereafter.

 23. Avoid contractions- spell it all out!

24.  PASSIVE VOICE – Use active voice here!

25.  Please don’t end sentences with prepositions.  J

26.  Begin all paragraphs with topic sentences.

27.  Verb/Pronoun agreement issues

28.  Run On sentence

29.  Fragment sentence

The 30s and 40s:  Essay Form & Structure

30.  Introduction needs hook (A) statement

31.  Intro. needs specific (B – title & author) statement

32.  Intro.  needs thesis (C) statement (see #2, 5)

33.  Good sandwiching, but no analysis of text? BOO

34.  Title(s) & Author(s) not mentioned in intro

35.  Use Quote sandwiches!  Quotes may not begin or end a body paragraph.  No quotes in intros or conclusions.

36.  No Lead In – Introduce the text you are using !

37.  No Lead Out – Analyze the text, please!

38.  Quote – TOO LONG!  (needs more analysis)

39.  More Analysis necessary

40.  Be sure to restate thesis in conclusion

41.  Set up context of text before using quotes/sandwiching; otherwise things don’t make sense!

42.  Choppy transition: transition smoothly between ideas

43.  Restate thesis in different words than in intro and/or conclude with a previously unstated, yet related idea.

44.  You left your conclusion out in the cold.

45.  Give it a jacket!

46.  Restate not repeat from introduction

47. Three main points?

48.  New Idea in Conclusion?

49.  AH HA!  There’s your thesis!  I found it!

50.  Punctuate Quote Sandwich correctly

The 50s:  Descriptive Writing --

51.  Needs specifics – add anecdotal, showing examples

52.  Needs figurative language; metaphor/simile, etc.

53.  Add repetition of significant phrases

54.  Add speech/or poetic device – allusion, parallelism, personification, etc…

55.  Restate Quote in own words here. It is your Thesis!

56.  Description:  you are only showing and/or using visual details – add 5-senses-smell, sound, touch, taste

Misc. Comments/Pet Peeves

100.  Write/type on one side of page only!

101.  Always write in dark ink!

102.  “Everyday”, “Everyone” is overused, usually incorrectly.  Avoid it, and please the powers that be.  If you mean “daily”, why not use that instead?

103.  No heading on first page

104.  Write the title only on the top of first page.

105.  Punctuate Quote Sandwich correctly

106.  No p., pg, pp, page etc.  Your teachers’ head shall explode

107.  ACK!  Reread ingredients packet please!

108.  Format – 12 point font, double space, palatino/times

109.  Plot Summary

110.  Wordiness – Simplify

111.  Vary word usage

112.  Slang

WW – Wrong word

AWK – Awkward phrasing

Keep track of your errors for improvement on future papers! 

Thanks,

The Management.