Tidbits

If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let�s all get wasted and together and have the time of our lives.

A pipe burst in a doctor�s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill of $600. The doctor said, �This is ridiculous! I done make that much as a doctor!� The plumber waiter for him to finished and calmly replied, �Neither did I when I was a doctor.�

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Those who claim to know say that bananas have been around for a million years.

|The first bilingual dictionary was writer on clay tablets- this was back in the year 2000 B.C.

Now here�s a tip---- �Toothpaste will work to get out grass stains! According to the rules of Feng Shui, the life-force energy, of shi, is naturally more serene in the back of the house. That is where your bedroom should me located.

Quips and Quotes---- �I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, �Mother, what is war?� � Eve Merriam

Barrel of knowledge�There will no longer be any remains of American soldiers placed in Arling-ton Cemetery�s Tome of the Unknowns. Modern DNA testing has made it possible to identify the deceased for the tiniest bit of evidence. When a soldier gave the ultimate sacrifice of war, the family is now the most important.

If you ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?

The moment you doubt yourself is the moment you fail to succeed.

You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.

A life? COOL! Where can I download one of those?

I hear voices and they don't like you.

In order to succeed, you must be willing to fail.

Everybody laughs in the same language.

After all is said and done, more is said then done.

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.

There beauty in the breakdown.

There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who cant.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

Happiness will never some to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

A certain species of tern winters in Antarctica, and flies 11,000 miles every year to get there. Since the birds have a lifespan of up to thirty years, it is possible they could fly well over half a million miles during their migrations.

More collect calls are made on Father�s Day than any other day of the year.

In culinary lore, the cookie was invented when a baker placed a dab of cake dough in the oven to test the temperature. The Dutch appropriately dubbed the ensuing creation �koekje,� little cake.