THE INVASION OF THE BLONDES!

Yeah, this is horrible, and scary! It is almost as scary as the boyband explosion!
Of course we all think that some boyband should just go back to where they came from ('NSync would go back to hell, Five to England... BSB would stay as the kings of pop...) But we do wish the same for these blondes that suddenly is EVERYWHERE!
Okay, not really, but it seems like it anyway.

We've all heard about the first blond, the Queen of them all: Britney Spears.
She's also one of the most hated blondes on this planet, even though she's not really a blond. Her hair is really dirty brown, not dirty blond as it looks like. But after she visited Mickey's House of Bleach she looks (fairly) blond. But that doesn't matter, cause she acts like a true blond.
Britney tries to tell people that you should be happy with your body, but then she goes and size up her boobs. Britney still denies this, but there's no way in hell that breasts can grow from B to a D in a couple of weeks, not even on a month. I'm sorry Britney, we're not THAT stupid.
Britney - the Queen of blond, irritating 'singers' - got her king (who she talks about all the time) Justin Timberlake of 'NSync. He is also a product from the feared Mickey's House of Bleach, which was where they met... and they've been known to hang out together with J.C. (yet another product right out of MMC) and Christina Augilera and spending nights in one and same hotel room, which the cleaning ladies draw sticks in who's forced to clean up.
She dresses like a whore, disses BSB repeatedly (yeah, the majority of the BSB-fans hates her), she sleeps her way to a record deal, she sings badly, she doesn't have a clue in how to dance, she gives 'NSync genital warts... The list why people hates her goes on, but she is truly a model of tomorrow's sluts.

Then there's her friend from Mickey's House of Bleach: Christina Augilera.
(If you ask my computer her name is Christina Uglier) Anyway, I have nothing against Christina other than she torture me with her songs that all sound alike, and since I only liked 'Genie in a bottle' the first 5 million times I'm sick and tired of her.
She's said to have been together with various of men in the music business, but my guess is J.C. since Britney took Justin and they all met at MMC and... yeah... that's my theory.
It's supposed to be important for Christina to make sure that she isn't makreted on her body (like all the Real Blondes are, unless they have a boyfriend to help them out), but she still wears way to little if you ask me. The beach where they taped the video for 'Genie in a bottle' for an example, it was freezing cold, STILL she wore those clothes. I personaly would never do that, I'd be wearing about 10 layers of clothes and a jacket, and there would be no way to get me out of it until it got warmer (well I'm a Taurus, I got all the rights in the world to be stubborn).
Christina does really have what it takes to be a Real Blond, she got really blond hair (I think she's blond, but that it's a little bit bleached but I don't know for a fact), she sings  songs that's ALWAYS playing on the radio, she knows Britney Spears (the Queen) and she's yet another product from MMC.

Then we'll go on to Jessica Simpson.
I have nothing against her, other than her damn 'I wanna love you forever' that is STILL playing EVERYWHERE and ALL THE TIME! Yeah, I'm sick of her too.
She seems to have something in her head (judging from the little I've heard of her) but she - as well as Britney - got a boyfriend in a famous boyband. This seems to be a good quality if you are going to be a Real Blond. Her boyfriend is Nick of 98 degrees.
Thank god she's not coming to Sweden to produce and record her material like oh so many other artists we here in Sweden would rather see drop down dead (examples: Britney Queen of Blondes Spears, 'NStink and oh so many more), and her music is done in USA. This will probably make her fall in the shadow of Mariah Carey (she doesn't fit among the Real Blondes, cause she's too old. Real Blondes have to be under the age 21 at the year 2000, preferably much younger, but look 25), but rather that than Britney of course.

Mandy Moore is the youngest out of them all, my age I believe (that would be 16 years old).
She's from Tampa, Florida, and was first believed to be Nick of the Backsteet Boys' girlfriend. This was not the case, unfortunately. Mandy seems much nice than Nick's real girlfriend was, but we'll get to her soon enough.
Mandy hasn't done anything to annoy me, yet. It's coming, I'm waiting, and I know I'll get mad. Oh well, her hit 'Candy' makes you think. Candy - crack... "I'm craving for you, I'm missing you like candy..." could also mean "I'm craving for you, I'm missing you like crack..." um... okay Mandy, that's nice... Yes, I do think the lyrics of the song is weird, but since I'm a candy addicted little girl I know exactly how it feels to not have candy and REALLY need it (I went out in a storm once, just to buy candy... with the risk of trees falling on me...). But we're not here to talk about me, I'm not a blond (my mom on the other hand... (she actually IS a blond, by hair color)). I can safly say that Mandy is probably going to become a bitch (just like Queen Britney) due to her early success. Probably rich too, but that doesn't help if you are a bitch or a bastard, at least not if you ask me.

Then I think we've come to the most hated one out of them all, Princess Mandah Williford, or as she's also known; Willa Ford.
Mandah is blond, but she colored her hair so now she's a brunette. Probably to fool the BSB-fans, cause this blond WAS Nick (of BSB)'s girlfriend. She treated him really rotten and she now got all the BSB-fans that's heard of this against her. Way to go Mandah... And remember, if you hurt someone I love or care about, I'll hurt you.
Mandah got her record deal cause of Nick... or at least he helped her out, A LOT! She's not a very good singer (I've never heard her (thank god), but I'm going on all the reviews I've ever read about her) and well... she got nothing to do on stage anyway. I will not buy her record, I will make sure that no one in my class buys it, and I ask you to boycott her too, cause she really doesn't belong in the music business... or any business... If I'll have my way (without physically hurting her) her next job will go something like "Do you want fries with that?"
Mandah is scared of the BSB-fans, and in her own words: she hates us, all of us. We don't really mind, do we? We hate her back, and probably more for what she did to Nick. But she should be scared of us, cause there are psycho fans out there and you never know what I, I mean they, will do...
The only one out of BSB, Nick's family and so on that ever liked Mandah was Nick. And my theory is that she was an easy lay, and cause she didn't start screaming the first time she met him. (But her singing Nick? Does that make your ears feel any better?)
Yes, I am jealous of her, I am jealous that she had my dream guy. I am not jealous of her singing career, cause I don't want to sing, I want to act cause I really can do that (as I said, I got the voice of Britney Spears when it comes to singing). What I'm not jealous about is the fact that she had to go to a psyhologist since she was a child due to her moodiness that she couldn't control (which several BSB-fans has experienced that she still can't). I've been forced to a psychologist too, but only cause I refuse to go to school (and maybe my depressing look on life), not because I suddenly beat the shit out of someone.
The risk of this blond turning into a bitch doesn't exist. Why? Cause she already is one! She's rude to BSB-fans even if they haven't done anything more than saying that Nick is their fave (she'll probably never be nice to her own (like Britney), if she ever gets any), she stole Nick's TV, she used to hit Nick, she used to hit BSB-fans (we used to be too surprised to do anything), she used to follow Nick EVERYWHERE (I've heard stories about her coming with him to the men's room cause she thought he had a girl in there or something), she cheated on Nick when he was in Europe (I wish he would have stayed here...), she badmouthed Nick's family, slapped one of his friends cause he listenind to a BSB-song (come on, not even I is that twisted) and is said to have kicked his dogs (and Nick got pugs... little pugs! I don't like any kind of abuse (and certanly not against animals) but it just gets worse the smaller the animal is since it probably doesn't have much of a chance)! Is that a sance girl? I don't think so!

Then let's move over to the guys...
True blonds are hard to find. Nick Carter, but he's in a group, Justin Timberlake is bleached, Lance Bass is albino, and they are in a group... Um... help me out! I can't think of anyone! Oh, except Aaron Carter, but we haven't heard from him in a long time here in Europe, and he never tortured us...