THE 'NSYNC PROJECT II - CREATURES FROM THE PLANET MOFO

Author: Bre

Characters:

Angel-voice ................................. a.k.a. Brian Littrell

Horny-dude ................................ a.k.a. A.J. McLean

Droolalicious sex-bomb ............ a.k.a. Sexy-man a.k.a. Kevin Richardson

Superblond .................................. a.k.a. Nick Carter

Sweet Gummy-bear .................... a.k.a. Howie Dorough

Fracktastic Girl ........................... a.k.a. Nat

The Above Average Chick ......... a.k.a. Bre

Fat-bastard ................................... a.k.a. Lou Pearlman

Sleepy-crackhead-man ............... a.k.a. Joshua Chasez Chasez

Fat-ass .......................................... a.k.a. Joey Fat-One

Mop-man ...................................... a.k.a. Chris Kinkypatrick

Brillo-boy ...................................... a.k.a. Justin Timberbutt

Supertroll ...................................... a.k.a. Lance Ass

The awful Silicon Slut ................. a.k.a. Britney Queers

Teenyboppers .............................. a.k.a. the ultimate fear of mankind.

[A/N: For more info about these characters, go to my home page.]

CREATURES FROM THE PLANET MOFO

Wait! There's more! *huh?* Yup! *But you're not Nat!* No, I'm Bre- now can we get on with this? *nods* GOOD!

So then Horny-dude finally stopped walking, after three days, and decided to get our heroes back together. He first zapped in a new headquarter and went to check on Superblonde and Sweet Gummy-bear. *Yeah!* I know! He turned their brains back on and sent them to find Angel Voice and *pauses and looks around cautiously* Droolacious Sex Bomb. *drools* ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sorry!* It's ok- but don't do it again!!! So, Horny-dude went back to the headquarters but he found some... um... surprise guests there. *who?* New super heroes! *were there gir-* YES!!!!!! *whoa!!!* Their names were Fracktastic Girl and the Above Average Chick.*Drools* Is that the guy? *nods* cut it out! *ok- one question though...* Shoot. *Did Fracktastic Girl like Nick?* DUH! Yes!

So Horny-dude started talking to the girls and found out more about them. It had turned out that they were teenyboppers until they reformed and found their superpowers. *Cool!!!*  I agree! * What were their powers?* Well, they both had *ahem* special bedroom powers, the Above Average Chick was psychic and a fantastic singer, and Fracktastic Girl had an AMAZING power! *what?*  She understood Superblond! *WOW!*

Finally, Sweet Gummy-bear, Superblond, Angel-voice, and *pauses and looks around* Droolalicius *pauses* *no reaction*  Sex... *pauses*  *WHERE???*  Is that the guy??? *nods* *sighs* bomb! (*waits for drool*  * no drool*  *applauds*) got back. They met the girls and just as Fracktastic Girl was running to sit on Superblond's lap, they had an awakening. *what?* The *Nstinkers weren't dead! *gasps* They had sent decoys to get them off their guard! *But how did they come up with that?* They didn't! Lou Pearlman did. *oh!* How did the Heroes figure that out? Well, Above Average Chick was psychic. *wow!*  I know. *What did Fracktastic Girl do again?*  She could understand Nick.  *Could they do anything else?* Well, Above Average Chick sang really well and they were fantastic in bed...  *guy drools*  CUT THAT OUT!!! *but...*  NO! They did NOT tape it! *darn!*  *smacks him*

They tried to start talking strategy, with Above Average Chick, being psychic, giving them the scoop, but after a while, Above Average Chick and Horny-dude became... um... very busy.*With what?*  Making out- and no they did NOT tape it. It was ok, though because Above Average Chick quickly explained it to Fracktastic Girl, who quickly explained it to the others so she and Superblond could leave and be very busy. *Guy grins*  Hey!  *continues grinning*  I have PMS and a gun... *Frowns*  That's better!

So, after the fabulous four were...um... un-busy they went on their guard to begin the battle plan. Suddenly, they spotted Mop Man. Above Average Chick and Angel-voice began singing in harmony and soon the others joined. Mop Man, never having heard something so beautiful before, exploded. *uncontrollable applause*

*6 hours later*
Are you done yet??? *nods* Good! Now, this time Mop Man was alone, but not 15 minutes later, Supertroll showed up.  *ew!*  I know. Momentarily, Superblond and Droolalicius sex-bomb started a conversation. This instantaneously put Supertroll to sleep. *so?* So, this made a perfect opportunity for Fracktastic Girl, who was quite handy with a pick-ax, to grab her weapon of choice and cut him/her up. In doing this, she discovered that he not only had ovaries, but also a sperm mechanism!

Above Average Chick then called... (kids block your ears, I'm about to swear) Amanda LaTona *AH! Don't scare us like that!*  Well, anyway the dog, Amanda, to lap up the remains.  *but wasn't she...*  Yes, she was AJ's girlfriend until he found out that she was a bitch in both senses.

Well, the *Nstinkers finally found out that their two guys or errrrr things weren't coming back, they decided to take a break. This break gave out heroes time to have a...um... party... *an orgy?*  You bet! *did they tape...* NO! Now I'm mad! I'm kicking you out! *grabs guy by the ear, kicks him in the nuts, and then realizes that he is wearing a mask.* Hey!  You're *unmasks him* *gasps* Chris Kirkpatrick! Ew! * Goes blind* *realizes that she has only closed her eyes* *opens eyes* You evil scum!!! *But I'm Mop Man!* Oh yeah? Well I'm *rips open shirt to reveal superhero costume* The Above Average Chick! *but that means...*  Yup, you're dead. *dies*

Now that that's done... *cheers for a half hour*  Thank you, really, but I STILL have quite a bit of story left, so can we PLEASE keep this moving? So, they finished their party and then, who would come in but Fat-Ass. *AH! What did you do that for???*  Sorry!

So, Droolalicius sex-bomb took his HOT body *drools* and with little difficulty pushed Fat-Ass into the closet. Above Average Chick locked him in and within 5 minutes, he was dead for lack of food. Because there was so much fat in him, they couldn't give him to- oh, do I have to say the name again? *yes!* fine! Amanda- so they gave him to the other swear word in this story- Mandah Williford *Pukes*  *pukes* Gross- I know. Man- I've had to say Amanda LaTona AND Mandah Williford in the SAME story! It's enough to kill me! *We're sorry!*  It's ok.

At that point, Fat-Bastard burst in to the headquarters yelling that he made the BSB and all garbage like that. Then, Horny-dude and his delicious body *smacks lips and wipes mouth suspiciously* went and beat the crap out of him. Then they hung him outside and used him as a scarecrow for teenyboppers. *Ah!*  I know.

Then, Sleepy Crackhead Man went out looking for crack. He spotted Fat Bastard and stupidly enough went over. Sweet Gummy-bear in disguise sold him powdered arsenic as crack to kill him but he didn't die. *What did he do?*  Well- *sighs* He went and tried to screw Amanda LaTona- But her horrid STD's that Horny-dude was immune to ended up killing Sleepy Crackhead man. Then, her fleas and her crabs ate up up and he disintegrated. *gross* Very.    Now our heroes had a dilemma- what to do to the silicone slut. Much against her wishes, Above Average Chick was designated for the job. So, our brave friend strode out boldly into the world looking for the Awful Silicone Slut (ASS!!! Ha-ha!!!) She was afraid- very afraid. That was because the Awful Silicone Slut was her sister. *OMG!*  Don't worry- Above Average Chick was much more talented, pretty, and less plastic than her horrid sister. *Phew!*  Tell me about it! She took only 4 steps and then she spotted the Awful Silicone Slut. She could see her from a mile away, because her boobs were a mile out. An idea struck her. Her sister's tiny brain was kept in her silicone tanks, so if she popped the tanks, it would be all over! Since the Awful Silicone Slut couldn't see a mile ahead of her, all Above Average Chick did was take out her dagger and POP! Such was the demise of the Awful Silicone Slut. *Uncontrollable cheers for an hour*

So, all seven of our favorite heroes strode out in a pack, like in Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. They found the enemy hideout in no time. It was a mess, surrounded by mentally challenged teenyboppers who neither needed nor wore bras. They broke out the guns and were soon through them. After a quick make-out session, they burst in.

It was scary. The floor was littered with Viagra, boob enhancing pills, used condoms, pregnancy tests, vibrators, crack, porn, pictures of teenyboppers, and books on how to be just like the BSB. This was the place for sure. They walked around, disgusted- *I would be too*-  and found the little moron that was Brillo Boy cowered in a corner. This was going to be fun.

So Fracktastic Girl and Above Average Chick walked right up and stepped on his nonexistent balls, and began to bitch slap him. Next Droolalicius sex-bomb threw three punches. Then Sweet Gummy-bear drilled a hole in his throat with his mind. After that, Angel-voice sang at him. To top it all off, Horny-dude whacked him over the head with the only thing harder than diamonds- *what?*  his boner, of course! *ow...* Yeah! So then they all mutilated Brillo Boy until he succumbed and went down with all of his skanky little friends.

*13 hours of uncontrollable cheers!*

*Stops* Thank you- I wasn't done though... *sorry...* So, Horny Dude and the Above Average Chick got married and SuperBlonde and Fracktastic Girl got married and... now I'm done. *smiles*

*uncontrollable applause until Horny Dude walks in and shocks the crap out of them*
Hey hon- ready to go? You bet! *make out*  OK, the others are in the car.  Great.
*follows them out to find an oversized Jaguar with all seven heroes sitting in it*
Heroes: Bye now!
*Jaws hit the floor and they stay there until it rains and they drown*

The End!