THE HONEYMOON

Britney: This is like amazing you know!

Lance: Our own honeymoon!

Chris: And in a castle!

J.C: I told you it was a good idea.

Justin: This is wonderful! We’ll have orgies and stuff!

Joey: *in a Superman costume* YIPPEE!

Lance: No vibrators.

Joey: Oh *disappointed*

Chris: And there’s tombstones all around too! How fitting. All we need is a ghost and scary music!

Joey: No ghost can scare Superman!

J.C: He didn’t say there was a ghost stupid.

Joey: Oh.

Britney: *pushes on the door* It you know won’t like, you know open!

Lance: It might help if you use the door handle.

Britney: *pushes on the door handle* Like no.

Lance: *rolls his eyes* Like this *opens the door*

Britney: Like okay you know *still doesn’t get it*

J.C: Who packed the drugs?

Everyone: *quiet* *looks at each other*

J.C: Who was supposed to pack the drugs?

Everyone: *pointing at someone else* *notices that they are all pointing at different people* *points at Justin*

Justin: *points at himself* Hey! Wait a minute!

J.C: Justin!

Justin: I didn’t!

J.C: That’s the problem!

Justin: It was… *looks at the others* Britney’s fault!

Britney: Like, hu? *still pointing at Justin*

Chris: Maybe there are drugs inside?

J.C: *runs in*

Britney: *confused*

Everyone: *walks in*

J.C: *runs around like an idiot trying to find drugs*

Lance: There’s some white stuff *points at a corner*

J.C: *runs over* *sniiiiiiiff*

Lance: Well?

J.C: *shakes head* No, just mould.

Britney: It’s like you know, awfully big like here. Where’s like our you know bags you know?

Lance: They were supposed to be here when we came…

Britney: But you know they aren’t like here…

Lance: My makeup!

Joey: My Superman stuff!

Justin: My condoms!

Chris: My toys!

J.C: My drugs!

Lance: We never packed them.

J.C: Oh… My pillow!

Britney: My pills! My makeup! My whory clothes!

‘NSync: *thinks of Britney without makeup*

Joey, Lance, Chris and J.C: *gasps in horror*

Justin: *cries* I want my MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Britney: Like, hu?

‘NSync: Nothing.

Britney: Okay! Are we like you know, going to you know have like sex now?

Justin, Joey, Chris and Lance: YES!

J.C: I want drugs… I need drugs… I NEED MY DRUGS!!!

Lance: Well try that stuff in the corner until it gives you the same effect.

J.C: *dives down in the corner* *sniff* *sniiiiiiiiff* *sniff, sniff* It doesn’t help…

Lance: Don’t stop until it does.

J.C: Um… okay… *sniff* *sniiiiiiiiiff*

--- Later in the library (I know, I know, it’s ‘NStink and Bitchney, but they are there anyway) ---

Justin, Chris and Britney: *playing with the fire in the fireplace*

Lance: *reading*

Joey: *eating the paper of some random book*

J.C: *sniff*

Lance: This is nice. Don’t you think?

Joey: *chewing*

Chris and Justin: *playing with the fire*

Britney: *looking at Justin’s sponge, I mean hair*

J.C: Lansten…

Lance: If it doesn’t give you the right effect then don’t stop *goes back to reading*

Britney: Oooh!

Chris: *looks at Britney* *looks at Justin’s hair* Oooooh!

Joey: *starts eating the pages of another book*

Justin: *playing with the fire* *doesn’t notice that his hair is on fire*

Lance: *reading*

Joey: *sniffs in the air* Food? *chews on the paper while thinking of food* *thinks of sex* *goes back to thinking of food*

Britney and Chris: *looks at Justin’s hair as the fire grows stronger and stronger*

Justin: *looks at Chris and Britney* Hu?

Britney: *points at the growing fire on Justin’s head*

Justin: *looks up* *can’t see it* *sniffs* Fire! My brillo pad is on fire!!! *panicking*

Chris: *opens a window* Here! Put it out in the rain!

Justin: *runs over but too fast to stop* *falls out the window and down three floors* *lands in an empty grave* *dead*

Chris: Justin!

Britney: JUSTIN!!

Lance: *looks up from his book* Can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to read.

Joey: Exactly! *chews on some paper*

J.C: *sniff*

Britney and Chris: Sorry *goes back to playing with the fire in the fireplace*

*a wind blows through the room, the fire goes out*

Britney and Chris: *sighs* *looks around for something to do*

Britney: *walks over to Lance and watches him read* *astonished*

Chris: *starts playing with one of the lamps*

Lance: CUT IT OUT CHRIS!!

Chris: *turns on the light* *turns it off again*

*all lamps go out*

Lance: Dammit Chris, I’ve told you a billion times not to play with the lights. Look what you did.

Chris: *sobs* I didn’t mean it… Fix it!

Lance: *sighs* *puts down the book* Fine… *gets up* Where’s Justin?

Britney: *tries to figure out what Lance was doing*

Chris: He fell out the window, now fix it! It’s dark!

Joey: *stops chewing* I can’t see.

J.C: *sniff, sniff* *sniiiiiiiiiiiiiff* Lance…

Lance: Not until it works.

J.C: *sniff*

Everyone (except J.C.): *goes down to the basement*

Lance: *walks over to the fuses* *looks at the water he’s standing in* *curses*

Joey: I’m hungry.

Chris: Fix it!

Britney: Like a you know dark basement, alone with like a couple of like you know, ‘NSync members, this you know brings back like so many memories you know…

Lance: *looks at the fuses* I found the problem… *reaches in and is just about to remove one of the fuses*

Chris and Britney: *watches Lance as he gets electrified*

Joey: I’m hungry…

Britney: Ten out of ten.

Chris: Nine out of ten.

Britney: Only nine you know?

Chris: You should have seen when Justin’s hair got stuck in the blow dryer.

Britney: He you know did? I you know wish I’d like seen that.

Chris: You probably will some day.

Britney: No, Justin’s like you know dead, remember?

Chris: Right, I forgot. Like Lance then?

Britney: *nods*

Chris: Now what do we do?

Joey: Don’t fear!

Chris and Britney: Hu?

Joey: Superman will save you! *tries to take off*

Chris and Britney: *looks at Joey*

Joey: *tries again* Eeehh… I just need to be on higher ground.

Joey, Chris and Britney: *goes up to the library again*

Joey: *opens another window* I’ll get help! Don’t worry *jumps out the window* *dies when he hits the ground*

Chris and Britney: *looks at each other* *confused*

Chris: How is it going?

J.C: I’m getting there *sniiiiiiiiiiiff*

Britney: I like, you know say we like leave.

Chris: I say we have sex first.

Britney: Like, okay you know.

--- Later ---

Chris: I walk this way, and you that way and we’ll hitchhike back home!

Britney: Like, okay! *starts walking*

Chris: *wanders off into the graveyard* *humming on a little melody (even that he does of key)* Hi Joey. *waves to Joey’s smashed body*

Britney: *hurries out to the road* *looks at the object in the distance* What is like that? A bird? A plane? Joey? *sees that the object is a truck* Oh! It’s like, you know a bird. *jumps up and down* I wanna like go with you know, you, I wanna you know go with like you!! *gets run over*

Truck-driver: *curses* Where do those bumps come from? *drives on, unaware of the favor he just did to mankind*

Chris: *lost in the graveyard* Hello? Anyone here? *looks around* I want background music!! *cries*

--- 3 hours later ---

Chris: *pulls himself together* *looks around* Fine, I just have to make my own background music. *starts humming the X-file’s theme song* *getting more and more nervous* *freaks out* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs away (and gets even more lost)* It’s after me! It’s after me!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! It’s out to get me!! *runs around in the graveyard screaming like crazy until he trips over a small tombstone* *lands on his head and breaks his neck*

--- In the library ---

J.C: *sniff* *looks around* *can’t see anything* I… need… drugs… *slowly gets up and tries to walk down the stairs in his search for drugs* *stumbles* *falls down the stairs* *100% dead*

Come on, it’s my story, did you expect anything else?