[A/N: I was bored, and this is what happens when I'm bored...]
JEOPARDY
- Will the insanity ever end? -
*camera shows a some size larger room with the settings for Jeopardy*
Voice: For our first round of celebrity group Jeopardy we have… the Backstreet Boys… ‘NSync… the Offspring… and Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson and Mandy Moore make the group our host nicknamed “the blond bimbos”.
*camera shows all groups, one more confused than the other*
Offspring: *starts mumbling amongst each other*
Greg: Was I the only one who had someone turning up with a loaded gun and dragging me here?
Ron: No, the same thing happened to me.
Noodles: Me too.
Dexter: Same here…
Ron: Why would anyone drag us on to Jeopardy, and especially when the others are pop stars?
Dexter: Oh no…
Voice: And here is the host, Nathalie!
Nat: *grins* Hi! Alec couldn’t be here, he’s… umm… busy… eh… somewhere *cough* So I’m the substitute host! Aren’t you all happy to see me?
*silence*
Nat: Thank you, I know, I love you too. With some exceptions *looks at ‘NSync and the blond bimbos*
Noodles: *raises hand*
Nat: Yes?
Noodles: Why were we dragged here under gunpoint?
Nat: You wouldn’t take the invitation so I had to do something. But don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you… of course I can’t guarantee what the guards might do if you try to leave.
Ron: Um… *looks at the armed guards*
Greg: It can’t be that bad to stay, right?
Noodles: I guess not…
Dexter: Since I prefer to walk away and not being carried out, I vote for staying.
Nat: Goody *smiles* Any other questions?
‘NSync: *raises their hands*
Nat: Good, let’s get started then. The topics are: Music, Which Backstreet Boy, Which song, Celebrities, Movie quote and Cheeses. I’ve decided that I’ll let the Backstreet Boys start.
A.J: *spots a hot girl in a mini skirt* Buh bye! *runs after her out of the studio*
Nat: Well that’s what happens when the guards are only here to guard one group *shrugs* BSB, which question?
Kevin: Music… for… 300… please. 300… would… be… good… I… think, on… music… that… is… of… course.
Nat: 300, huh? Alright. Which group has been voted the dorkiest around today?
Brian: *buzzes* Who are ‘NSync?
Nat: Oh! Close, but I’m sorry.
Kevin: *smacks Nick over the head*
Nick: *cries* I didn’t do anything!!
Chris: Am I the only one that feels highly offended by that answer?
Lance: *getting nervous* Things are buzzing…
Greg: *buzzes* Who are the Backstreet Boys?
Nat: That’s correct!
Brian: Hey!
Kevin: *smacks Nick over the head*
Nick: OUCH!! *starts sobbing again*
Kevin: I… am …offended… by… that… change… your… answer… or… I… will… probably… get… mad. I… did… not… like… that… answer.
Ron: *whispers* Is he trying to hypnotize us or make us fall asleep?
Nat: Both, I think. Anyway, Offspring, your turn.
Noodles: Umm… Celebrities for 100?
Nat: She is one of the worlds least liked girls.
Christina: *buzzes* Who is Britney Spears?
Britney: *smacks Christina* How like dare you, you know?!?!?!?
*bitch slapping and hair pulling fight breaks out*
Nat: And that’s correct.
Mandy: Well, duh! Everyone knows that, you know.
Britney: *lets go of Christina’s hair* What? It’s… It’s not fair!! *runs off stage* MOM!!!!!!!!!!!
*gunshot is heard*
Nat: Oh, right, there was that order I put out that they should shoot each and every one of the blond bimbos if they tried to escape. And I forgot to tell them, what a shame… *grins* Well, blondes, do continue.
Jessica: We’ll take Celebrities for 200.
Nat: Voted to one of the sexiest men around.
Justin: *buzzes*
Lance: *screams like a girl and jumps into J.C.’s arms*
J.C: *falls to the ground* OUCH! I was trying to get some sleep and… *gives Lance a pissed look*
Lance: It buzzed!!!
J.C: What? Is Joey playing with the vibrators with you again?
Joey: *chewing on a couple of Twinkies* That’s old, but it was actually pretty funny.
Justin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who be I, yo!
Nat: That was way, way, WAY wrong.
Justin: *pouts*
Mandy: *buzzes* Who is Brad Pitt?
Nat: Sorry that’s wrong too.
Jessica: *hits the buzzer* Who is Leonardo DiCaprio?
Nat: One team can’t answer more than once.
Jessica: Dammit!! It’s all your fault *slaps Mandy*
*another bitch fight breaks out*
Joey: I don’t think placing them in the same team was such a good idea.
Nat: Oh what do you know?
Kevin: *buzzes* Who… is… Kevin… Scott… Rich…*beep*
Nat: Sorry, time is up. But the answer would have been wrong anyway. It was really Nick Carter.
Nick: Yay!
Justin: What?!
Dexter: *coughcoughdorkcoughcough*
Kevin: *smacks Nick over the head*
Nick: Ouch! *sobs*
Nat: The blondes… *looks at Jessica and Mandy, who just stopped fighting, and then at Christina* Hrm… Pick a topic.
Christina: Let’s take… Which song for 100.
Nat: It’s really easy. “You are my fire, my one desire…”
Joey: *buzzes* What is, our?
Lance: *squeaks*
Nat: That’s wrong, could have been, but still wrong.
Brian: *buzzes* What is “I want it that way”…
Howie: *wink* … by the *wink, wink* Backstreet Boys *wink*
Nat: That’s correct. And if we look at the score for the moment the Offspring are in the lead, with 300 points, followed by the blondes with –100, and ‘NSync with –200. And the Backstreet Boys are behind with –400.
Kevin: *smacks Nick over the head*
Nick: *cries*
Joey: *looks into his box of Twinkies* Oh no, I’m actually running low! *hurries away*
J.C: *snores*
Dexter: Something tells me that some of the contestants aren’t taking this so seriously.
Nick: What could possibly have tipped you off?
Dexter: Well, you are here, that in itself tells a whole lot about the show.
Nick: Kevin!!
Kevin: *smacks Nick over the head* Be… quiet… you… annoying… little… blond…
Noodles: I believe the word you are looking for is “dork”.
Kevin: Don’t… interrupt… me… when… I’m… talking…
Noodles: But then the show will be over before I get to say anything.
Kevin: I… wasn’t… finished…
Noodles: Really? You could have fooled me with that hour-long break.
Kevin: *mumbles something about Offspring being evil*
Nat: Okay, can we continue?
Brian: Umm… we take… umm… Music, for 400 please.
Nat: Which boyband member has been voted the most annoying around today?
Justin: *buzzes* Nick Carter!
Lance: *screams*
Nat: Wrong shaped…
Dexter: *buzzes* Who is Nick Carter!
Nat: Um… correctly shaped but wrong answer.
Dexter: What?! I can assure you that he is the most annoying one around!
Nat: I’m sorry, but he only came in second…
Nick: *stops sobbing* *buzzes* Who is Justin Timberlake?
Justin: What?!
Nat: That is correct.
Justin: WHAT?! Dat ain’t right, yo!
Nick: Face it man, you’re not pretty fly for a white guy.
Justin: *blinks*
Ron: Haha, very funny blondie.
Jessica, Mandy, Christina and Lance: Huh? *confused*
Ron: Ugh.
Justin: *lip trembles* *runs of stage* BRITNEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian: Ugh, talk about bad taste.
Howie: *wink* I know *wink* someone who is *wink* very fly for *wink* a white guy *wink* *winks at Lance*
Lance: *giggles*
Brian: *whispers to Howie* I don’t think that’s a guy…
Howie: Huh? *wink*
Greg: Why are we here?
Noodles: I’m starting to think that dead is better than this…
Ron: I wish I was home… *sigh*
Dexter: God, the insanity… *shakes head*
Nat: Backstreet Boys, do continue.
Kevin: Which… Backstreet… Boy… for… 400… please.
Chris: Not fair! Too easy!!
Nat: *ignores him* He heard his ex’s song on the radio and beat it up with a bat.
Offspring: *exchanges looks*
Greg: Why are we here?
Chris: *buzzes*
Lance: *screams and jumps up in Chris’s arms*
Chris: Lance… Lance! I can’t get to the mike!! LANCE!!!
*beep*
Nat: Sorry, anyone else?
Jessica: *buzzes* Who is *twirls hair* Justin Timberlake?
Nat: Sorry, he’s not even in the group.
Kevin: *buzzes*
Brian: Let me do it!
Kevin: *sigh*
Brian: Who is Nick Carter?
Nick: *hangs head in shame* I don’t know what got into me… I just…
Nat: That is incorrect. Offspring? Any guess?
Ron: Err… we pass.
Nat: Okay, the correct answer was A.J. McLean.
Dexter: Who obviously needs help.
Chris: DAMMIT LANCE LET GO OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lance: *holding on* *crying hysterically*
Noodles: Is it just me who get the feeling that we are in an institution?
Greg: *looks at his watch* Again, why are we here?
Nat: Okay, BSB, you can go on.
BSB: *looks at the clock* *starts whispering among each other*
Christina: Eww! My gum is stuck in my hair!!!!
Jessica and Mandy: *giggles*
Christina: *pissed* *grabs a pair of scissors* *cuts of both Jessica’s and Mandy’s hair in revenge for giggling*
Jessica: *cries hysterically*
Mandy: *screams loud and clear, and won’t shut up*
Nat: Good god! *turns to the guards* DO SOMETHING!!!!
*a couple of gunshots are heard, and Mandy, Jessica and Christina are splattered all over the place*
Nat: *grins*
Offspring: *looks at each other*
Lance: *faints*
Chris: The answer is J.C., J.C. Chasez. Who is J.C. Chasez!
Nat: *blinks* You are a bit late, and a bit wrong, be quiet. Can we move on? BSB?
Howie: *wink* Movie quotes, for *wink, wink* 500 *wink*
Nat: *clears throat* “Alright kid, you’ve had your fun. And now we’re gonna… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
Dexter: *buzzes* Who is I, in Idle Hands.
Nick: Aww, that was a set question, she knew he would know that!
Chris: Excuse me, but wasn’t one of the subjects “Which Backstreet Boy”?
Nick: So? Everyone knows that!
Noodles: You didn’t…
Nick: *cries* MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! *runs away*
Nat: *sigh* Now you made him run to his mom that will use him again, thank you Noodles.
Noodles: *shrugs* Who cares?
Brian: Do you hate us? I mean, everyone knows that we hate ‘NSync and they hate us, except for Howie and Lance who got something going on that I don’t want to know about.
Howie: *wink*
Ron: No, we don’t hate you, we just think you are complete dorks and make crap music.
Greg: *taps Ron on the shoulder*
Offspring: *mumbles something among each other*
Ron: Sorry, we do hate you, and we still think you are dorks and make crap music. And we’ll beat you up again this tour.
Dexter: *grins widely*
Chris: *laughs*
Nat: You do know they took a fair beating on you too, right?
Chris: *stops laughing* What?
*beep*
Nat: Um, okay. Dexter had the right answer, to the last question… The scores are: ‘NSync –800, the blond bimbos that just moved on, -500, BSB –400, and the Offspring +400.
Lance: *slowly comes to life again*
Greg: Why are we here? *looks at his watch again* *mutters something*
Nat: And now, the last question. BSB and ‘NSync, you’ll get 100 to play with since you are back, the blondes obviously can’t play so they are out, and the Offspring you got your 400. The subject is… Norse mythology.
[A/N: Well, I had to take something I know something about.]
*contestants write down what they want play with*
Nat: *humming* Are you done?
Greg: Why are we here?
Nat: Cause I felt like having you here, sorry.
Greg: *sigh*
Nat: Anyway, the answer is… “She was the Goddess of death and the daughter of Loki.”
All contestants: *looks at each other, more confused than ever*
Nat: *starts humming again*
--- 1 minute later ---
Nat: Okay, Backstreet Boys, you played with 100, what were your answer?
Kevin: Who… is… Odin?
Nat: Err… nope, sorry wrong, he was a guy, and Loki’s blood brother, but he was a death good.
Brian: Can we have some points for that? *smiles*
Nat: Sorry, against the rules.
Kevin: *looks around to smack Nick over the head* *realizes Nick is gone* *smacks Howie over the head*
Howie: Ouch! *wink* Why are you *wink* hitting me *wink* for? *wink, wink*
Nat: Okay, ‘NSync? You also played with 100, what is your answer?
Chris: *looks at Lance who was writing* Yeah, what is our answer?
Lance: Huh? *looks confused*
*on the screen you see “Lance + Howie” and plenty of hearts*
Offspring: *looks at each other*
Greg: Why, dear god, why are we here?
Ron: I feel a headache coming…
Nat: That surely wasn’t the right answer. Offspring? You betted your 400, so what’s your answer?
Ron: Who is Freya?
Nat: Um, sorry that’s incorrect. The correct answer was Hel. Now the scores are… ‘NSync –900, BSB –500, and the Offspring… 0. So the winners are the Offspring, with 0 points.
Greg: Can we go now?
Noodles: Please?
Dexter: Could I please have my wedding band back? My wife is going to kill me if she finds out…
Nat: *grins* I have an idea…
Dexter: Oh no… What do I have to do?
Nat: *grins*
Dexter: May I remind you that I’m married?
Chris: *leaps forward* I’ll do it! I’m married too, but that’s okay!
Nat: Eh?
Dexter: Yay! Take him instead, I got a family, so take him… *slowly backs away*
Chris: I got five kids, but I don’t care! *smiles*
Nat: Sorry, not interested.
Chris: *cries* Nobody wants me! Except my wife but she’s a teenybopper and that doesn’t even count!! *walks out of the room, and kicks both J.C. and Lance on his way*
Lance: Ouch!
Kevin: *looks around* Wait… where… did… they… go… I… can’t… see… her… or… that… very… evil… man… who… corrupt… young… children… Where… did… they… go?
Greg: Can we go now? Dexter got out of her room alive once, he’ll do it again. Can we please go now?
Ron: Why are you whining? I want to leave too but…
Greg: I was supposed to pick up my son, and I’m kinda running late.
Noodles: Umm… it seems as if the guards left…
¾ of the Offspring: *hurries out of there*
Howie: *wink*
Brian: How about we leave too? Nick will be alright, even though Nat surely found him by now.
Howie: Didn’t he *wink* go to therapy *wink* for the last *wink* time Nat dragged him *wink* and that guy *wink* away?
Brian: He still does, but he’ll be alright eventually… I guess.
Howie: Oh *wink* okay.
Brian and Howie: *leaves*
Kevin: Were… did… they… go? *notices that he’s the only one standing in the room* Um… I… got… my… own… show? *blinks*
THE END