Shuten: Hello. I’m not dead—again. Yeah I know. I’m supposed to be dead yet I keep being brought back to life! It’s such a pain being so damn popular. It’s the red hair and freaky eyebrows that get the girls wild. Anyhoo, leave a message and the next time I get killed or I sacrifice myself, someone will resurrect my ass and I’ll be sure to return your message as soon as possible. BEEP!

Anubisu: Hi, you’ve reached the Darkness Demon General’s home. If you’re under 16, single, and female press 1. If you’re Shuten, Rajura, or Naaza press 2. If you’re calling about me performing at a girl’s birthday party, press 3 for my business hours—wink, wink (coughs). If this is Korin—go to hell! I hate that bountiful gold mop of head of yours! (sobs) BEEP!

Naaza: You’ve reached the residence of the great and all mighty good-looking Naotoki Yamanouchi! I’m not home right now—I’m most likely standing next to my machine at this moment alphabetizing my pet snakes by name or trying to pencil in eyebrows. Yes I know I have none but I’m trying, dammit! Leave a message and I’ll call back whenever the hell I feel like it! HA! BEEP!

Rajura: This is Rajura speaking... Oh no. Wait. This is the grand Phantom…No, no, no this isn’t going to work. Wait! Let me try again—Lord Rajura has arrived only to miss your call! ... Crap that isn’t going to work either! Maybe if I move my eye patch to my other eye. There we go. Ahem, I’m not home right now. I’m... somewhere else... Leave a message after the... hey! Quit laughing at me, Kayura! If you don't cut it out, I’m going to yank that ponytail off of that puny body of yours and shove it up your—BEEP!