Australian Computer Terms


Log on - Make the barbie hotter

Log off - Don't add any more wood

Monitor - Keep an-eye on that barbie

Download - Getting the firewood off the ute

Floppy disc - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

Window - What to shut when it's cold outside

Screen - What to shut in the mosquito season

Byte - What the mosquitoes do

Bit - What the mosquitoes did

Mega Byte - What the Townsville mosquitoes do

Chip - A bar snack

Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips

Modem - What you did to the hayfield

Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife

Laptop - Where the cat sleeps

Software - The plastic knives and forks they give you at the Red Rooster

Hardware - The real stainless steel cutlery

Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed

Mainframe - What holds the shed up

Web - What a spider makes

Web site - The shed or under the verandah

Cursor - Someone who swears

Search Engine -What you do when the ute won't go

Upgrade - Steep hill

Server - The person at the hotel who brings the counter lunch

MailServer - The bloke at the hotel who brings the counter lunch

Sound Card - The one that wins the hand of 500

User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff

Network - When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet - Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape - When a fish maneuvers out of reach

Online - When you get the laundry hung out on the washing line

Off line - When the clothes pegs let go and the washing falls on the ground

 


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