Story : Sequence : Characters : Casting :
Was she a stone or just a happy go lucky girl who took every thing with a dash of smile? Till date nobody had every seen her gloomy or for that matter thoughtful and serious over matters. “Okay, if not this then something else would happen what’s a big deal. Everything would be fine”, was her motto in life.
That’s Shaileja, or just Shail. Just out of school, her eyes were filled with great hopes. Hopes of future where she would have her share of sky. Not that she was very ambitious but she had unsaid, unspoken dreams in her eyes, as every girl in teens would have. The only difference was that she never spoke about it to any body. Whenever any mention of her dreams would come all she did was to give an innocent smile and postponed the question to future, saying “The day I’ll achieve my dreams I’ll let you know.”
Not opting to stay with any of her divorced parents, who also had individual families, she applied for hostel. Hostel was a part of her life. She was in std. VII when her parent seeked divorce. It was rather strange but Shail was too cool about it. Rather she found it another adventure or twist in life that she should enjoy. For her it was a better deal than to live together as strangers. Then came her wish to be put in hostel when the matter of custody came up.
Her parents thought it was a blessing in disguise. They were confident that once she would be shifted to hostel each one of them would be successful in persuading her to live with him or her. Although they never got along with their better halves but each one of them loved Shail more than anything in their lives.
For one to two long years both of her parents tried their level best to persuade her to live with them, but all in vain. In reply all they got was her pretty innocent and honest appeal for them to let her stay there as she was very happy there and was also improving in her studies. As new opportunities came forward and new events occurred, their persuasions got milder. Gradually, with their increasing involvement in their new families, their involvement with Shail decreased.
When asked about these not so common and rather painful events in her life, she would look distantly seeing something that was not visible to ordinary eyes. A smile would rest on her lips. With little dampness in her voice she would reply, “ What ever happened good or bad has already happened. It’s passed. Even if I lament on it or I give away my life, I can’t undo it. Things have to be accepted as they are. Now that things are to be accepted, it’s up to us how to accept it. Either we accept it with a long brooding face or learn to live with it. Will the lament and tears change the events? If not, then why to do so?”
Soon she was ‘stone-Shail’. A girl, who is really unaffected by any change in her life. Nothing seemed to affect her. This was the Shail everybody knew. However there was another Shail. Shail that was only known to Shail herself.
In college another avenue opened up. Life came with new events. The center of these events was ---Ahaan. Sun tanned, tall with well-built muscles he was the heartthrob of the entire college. A jovial person who could hardly keep himself from cracking jokes. His company was a guarantee for all fun and frolics.
The day both Ahaan and Shail met they instantly struck a cord. They both complimented each other in many respect, but they both were so similar in many others too. And the greatest similarity was the ability to put the past behind them and enjoy the present, looking forward to future.
As their interactions grew, they found themselves to be in love with each other. The more they knew each other, deeply they loved. They had found a new meaning to life itself. It seemed that the fate of this happy go lucky girl was to be happy always. The Shail that nobody knew was also content. After long for the first time that Shail slept with a real smile on her lips, a peaceful content smile.
Years in college passed in this way. Once out of college Ahaan got appointment in Crime Branch. He went out for training. He was waiting for his posting before he could convince his parents to marry Shail. His parents had another girl in their eyes, which they thought to be fit for Ahaan. However, Ahaan could never dream of any girl except Shail. Thoughts of Shail worked like healing touch for Ahaan. All his weariness would vanish in no time when Shail’s pretty face would come to his mind. He missed her terribly. Every day weighted like mountains for him. In his free time he would just love to think how Shail must have been missing him. How would she be in his absence? Would the bug of pain of separation was biting her as much as it was torturing him? The more he thought, more convinced he became that Shail was in fact missing him more than he did. He had no proofs to support this but this was the thing his heart said and he believed.
During this period time saw Shail busier than anything. At her fathers place temporarily, she was taking a crash course in bakery and pickling was her afternoon schedules. Morning saw her preparing new designs for vase decoration in her own room and from her flowers from her garden. In evening she would sit down to write jokes that she would send to various magazines. She in fact never had time to miss Ahaan. She did not even find herself sulking for the long time of separation. “He had his work and what else he is gone to come back one day, more prosperous”, she was confident of this.
A casual or rather a usual smile from Shail on Ahaan’s return turned him down. For the first time in his life he felt cheated. He had no proofs of this but cool attitude of Shail convinced him that he was not that important part in Shail’s life. Time and again he would dig into the period of his absence to find any trace of her missing him. To his utter dismay, he found none. More he thought of all these, more or less he was convinced that his presence in Shail’s life was not of any importance to her. This feeling was driving him crazy. Was he wrong in loving a girl who perhaps had no emotions? He wanted an understanding and equally emotional life partner. He was heavily frustrated and disturbed.
And one day, Ahaan could no longer hold himself from asking Shail if she missed him. Smilingly Shail replied, “No! I was too busy and I knew perfectly that you’d return.” The answer stunned him. At least one indication that she loved him would stop him from acting rash under frustration. He continued, “What if I were to ditch you and marry someone else there? Would it have made any difference on you.” Unknown to all the feeling arising in Ahaan, she took it as another joke. After all she knew perfectly that he loved her and her feeling for him were also too strong. In a very light manner she replied to Ahaan’s question “So, hmmm… what if you ditched me? What’s a big deal, in this big world somebody will love me and I’ll marry him.” “And if I were to never return … I mean if I’d have died there”, Ahaan countered. “Well then Ahaan do you expect life would stop. Everything would be in the same way only you won’t be there.” That was much more than Ahaan could take. He went off.
All through Ahaan’s drive home words of Shail were whipping his mind. He was never such a rash driver on road and it was because of his lucky stars that he escaped through cuts and bruises.
As the luck would have been, the family of the girl, Jyoti in whom Ahaan’s parents were interested to make her Ahaan’s bride and Jyoti herself were present at Ahaan’s place. Both the families had close friendship. A look of concern and helplessness appeared on the girls face when she saw Ahaan injured. Ahaan too knew why they were there. He knew that both the families wanted to turn their friendship into relationship. The contrast of the reactions that he got and what he would have got from Shail was in front of him. The harsh words of Shail were still hurting him. He loved her insanely and nothing would ever change for her even if he died. His anger was driving him to such a boundary that he would never have thought.
On an impulse, Ahaan asked what her reaction would be if he met with a fatal accident. Holding her tears back, she replied that it would shatter her life. The answer was the final blow that he could hardly withstand. Anger was ruling his reasons; he took Jyoti along with him to Shail and introduced her as his future wife. It was something Shail never ever expected and she was not also in a position to reply. The words of Ahaan some moments ago rang again in her ears, which she thought was a joke. Now she was convinced that it was a prelude for this act. Ahaan on the other hand was expecting some sorts of fireworks that would give testimony of Shail’s love for him. A smile with “Congratulation” came back to him.
Date of marriage of Ahaan and Jyoti was after a week. When cards were in Ahaan’s hand, he suddenly felt something in his heart. A final try. If Shail would say now that she loves him he’d break the engagement. He went to Shail. She was quite courteous. There was never a trace of bitterness as he had expected. While going he stopped for a moment and asked, “Do you realize Shail what you have missed?” It was height of arrogance Shail thought. Confidently she said, “I believe what ever happens, happens for good. I have no regrets.” With a sarcastical smile Ahaan spitted venom, “You know Shail, what ever others said is perfectly true. You don’t know what feelings are. You don’t have them … you are just a stone. You are not capable enough to feel anything. Arre, these feeling and emotions are characteristics of human and not stone like you.” At that moment something was trying to escape from Shail’s heart through her lips. Something turned inside but she sealed it with a smile. That was the last time Ahaan and Shail ever met.
Some month’s later Shail’s father expired, leaving half of his property in Shail’s name and the other half to his second wife and two children. This was the major source of heartburn to her step-mom who busted in front of the lawyer who was reading out the will. “Wow! Just look what my husband thought. He kept half of his property in name of such a daughter, I mean girl who had no feeling for him. Neither she liked living with him nor after his death anybody has seen her crying. What a philosophy that ‘who so ever has come in this world has to go. If he went today, I’d tomorrow.’ And he leaves his property in the name of this stone. Ask her if she had feeling in her heart” In front of a large gathering of friends and relatives and lawyers, as usual Shail kept her cool. She smiled and sat through the proceedings as nothing has ever happened.
Next morning, when door of Shail was broken open, she was found resting on her table. A letter that was there was drenched in blood but was still readable. She had bled to death. Her last letter was
“I am Shail, someone who believed in concealing all pain in her heart. I believed life is to live and not sulk for lost things, how so ever dear they may be. For me live was to look forward and spread happiness. Perhaps I was wrong… was I wrong when I chose not to brood over the things that hurt me? Said something, its true I too did feel pain. At times I felt like crying my heart out, yelling to the world but what would it have achieved? Nothing! In fact it would add pain to those involved in it. And the greater question is could it undo the wrong. Then why expression of feeling, pains etc is so important that it overrides the feelings themselves. Perhaps I was wrong. I too should have cried when I felt so. Ah! These feeling they really hurt. It was all in this way till Ahaan said I was a stone.
Was I really a stone? I felt too miserable. Something turned in me that moment and never again did. He too said what others said. I never believed in others but if Ahaan said so I must be. I must be a stone. Slowly what I tried hard to do, not letting any body know my feeling and not to feel sad became so easy. Feeling seemed to let me go. I am really a stone. And when mom today said if I had any feeling in my heart I tried to check it. Do I really have feeling?
Ahaan was right. In fact Ahaan can never be wrong. I have cut my heart but all I get is blood. There are no feelings there. My heart is filled only with blood. Only blood exist there and no feeling. I could not find any feeling there, only blood. I am indeed a stone.”
Basically the story is based on Shail, who remains unaffected by all changes around her. But to bring out this sharp difference between her and others some characters are included in the story. These characters are Shail’s friends in school and colleges. Their anxiety in expectation of marks in contrast to Shail’s patient wait, their pain and trauma in losing something or someone dear and Shail’s reactions in same conditions brings out the sharp difference in the attitude and behaviors of these girls and Shail.
The other characters that are in the story are Shail’s mother, Mrs. Nidhi Singh. She is an elegant ambitious lady in her mid thirties. Daughter of a rich family, she married equally to a rich man. She had just everything in her life … except her peace of mind. Right from the first day of their married life, hair like cracks was visible on the surface. The temperament and mentality did not match. Mrs. Singh was attached to many charitable trust, in fact she was well known in the field of social service. It was her strength. She loved it. She wanted to share the pain of as many people as she could. And in married life she looked for a partner who would understand her passion to do something for people around and has the same feelings in his heart with equal intensity if not more.
Unfortunately, Mr. Singh was of completely different person. Approaching forties, slightly over weight with balding forehead, he was a successful businessman. His outlook in life was in stark contrast to his wife. His strength was his home. It was a place where he would seek refuge after a hard day outside. For him the world out has least importance when he is with his family. Family comes to him first and all the other things secondary. Not that, he was selfish but for him his family and loved ones came first. His firm belief was if every family remains happy and is content then ultimately every body in this world is a happy person.
It was Mrs. Singh’s philosophy that who needs help must be helped where as Mr. Singh believed in self help. If any body needs help he or she should help him or herself out. There is no point in waiting for somebody’s helping hand when ones own hand can help. And if self-help is not there then that person is not worthy to be helped. In times of trouble and distress, conflict and pressure Mrs. Singh had the habit of indulging herself in more work. In pain of the lesser-benefited people she would forget her own pain. On contrary at times of facing pressure from outside world Mr. Singh would turn homewards to find his strength hidden in the smiles of his family members.
Both Mrs. and Mr. Singh were right in their own ways but here two right things indeed made a wrong, a wrong home. They both were civilized enough never to yell and throw venom on each other but the undercurrent of differences made the whole atmosphere tensed up. Mr. Singh always felt sorry and guilty for not giving Shail a good home that was her right, and that’s why he made a point to see that after his death Shail would not be helpless penniless girl.
It was Shail the one thing they had in common. Their darling daughter whom they both loved perhaps more than anything else in their lives. Both tried to give themselves some more chances for her sake and indeed they gave themselves many chances more. They tried their best not to let the shadows of their tottering relationship fall on silent Shail. But still a child has an uncanny ability to sense trouble brewing between their parents. Shail too felt it. Although it’s a secondary thing that she never spoke a word about it to any body. She felt everything and said nothing.
Shail is perhaps a very difficult person to define or explain. Since her childhood she was a witness to unsaid, unspoken cold war between her parents. The way her mother plunged herself to social service struck pin in her heart and the way her father would long for a homely wife at home put her in cross roads. She knew both of them were correct in their own ways, which was otherwise when they came together. There was much tension at home and she thought if she could not diffuse it at least she would try her best to divert the attention to happier things.
Thus another Shail was born to the family. She always smiled. Whenever and whatever problems came along she tried to take it with a pinch of salt. She was successful in getting a better result. Seeing her smiling face and cool attitude some tensions at home eased. The house no longer echoed with chilling silence. It was her laughter that echoed and made her parents too forget the differences they had at least in her presence. It was much more than she had expected. Now she got new theory in life. ‘It’s always more fruitful to be happy with what you have than to brood for things that is beyond your reach.’
Never did anybody saw her sad. It seemed nothing affected her. To the outer word she was too practical, practical to the extreme … practical to the limit of being a stone!
But nobody had a faintest idea what all went in her heart. All the pain that hurted her and to all those things that she carefully drew a curtain of smile returned to haunt her. In the privacy of her room all those hurling words would surround her. She had no exit. Neither could she cry her heart out nor could she speak about it to any body. Her pain became her personal pain, locked in her heart. Yet she bravely fought all her tears back to put the past behind her and to look at future ahead. Every time something troubled her, she would try to reason it out and somehow try to from some angle that would console her that what ever happened was not the worst. It would reenergize her and another new day would begin with a new hope.
Even with all friends and relatives openly taunted her of being a stone, she took no heed of it. Why should she care of words of such people who do not care for her and neither are that close to her to understand her? Another reason that made her smile at all those hurting words was the fact that, that she was never was so attached emotionally to them to feel bad for it.
A sweet twist came in her life when Shail realized she was in love with Ahaan. She although never shared her problems with him but at the same time she was convinced that he knew her heart too well. He was like a shade in hot desert of relationships. She felt it was unnecessary to boast of love or keeping repeating those most repeated words in this world “I love you”. When feeling reign words remain silent. Ahaan was the most important aspect in her live. He had become her life but she never felt the need to express all these in words. Words after all are too light when compared with feelings.
When all of a sudden Ahaan too accused her of being a stone. Things changed for her totally. For the first time in her life word ‘stone’ hurted her. How could Ahaan say something like that? Her inner self said it was wrong that Ahaan accused her of but at the same time he was more than her life to her. How could he say something that’s wrong? Her heart believed in every word that Ahaan said. She was too stunned to react.
Slowly the words of Ahaan began haunting Shail. She began believing in his words and the effort she needed to conceal her pain was getting lesser. The emotions that she was having were slowly drying up. As Ahaan said her to be a stone and unknowingly even to herself she was indeed turning to stone. No emotions or feeling now stirred in her heart or made it bleed. She was living in her own world of virtual reality. Now she really was confirmed that the heart was no more than a pumping machine. Feelings had deserted her heart.
Mrs. Reema Singh, the lady Mr. Singh married after divorce was not a bad lady but she was too possessive about her children. She is such a lady who would when hurt or aggrieved would spoke just anything that came to her mind and later on she would repent being too rude or rash. In total she was a lady with good heart though bitter tongue.
Ahaan, the light of Shail’s life was too emotional and touchy person. Although he was always joking and laughing but inner to himself he was too soft, emotional, short-tempered and touchy. He could take every problem in life head on but in one matter he was too vulnerable and that was the area of love. He believed that love was the best thing that could happen to anyone in his or hers life. Feelings were an important aspect of his life and equally important were expression of all those feeling. Unlike Shail who would to divert her longing would work endlessly, he would like to feel all those moments of longing and helplessness. He believed that such feeling are too precious in love. For him it’s all those feeling that bring luster in love life.
Ahaan was touchy person when it came to his loved ones. Shail’s words did really cut him hard. He could never believe his ears when Shail said that she never missed him. He could not get that it was a joke because here was something that was too precious than the word precious. When ever he gets angry for some moments he totally forgets to see reasons. He becomes too rash and in the flow of anger he could take such rash decisions that could not only destroy others but also destroys himself.
Generally he is calm but when provoked he is too mad and wild. He’s also too revengeful in his attitude then. Once inebriated with anger and revenge, he would not stop to think if in the process of taking revenge is he harming himself. At that moment destroying the other person on whom he is seeking revenge is more important than his own like or life.
A person like Ahaan can prove to be best friend or worst enemy if provoked to extreme.
And for Shail Ahaan proved to be the both, a best friend who was ready to give life for Shail if needed and her worst enemy, though unknowingly because of a severe communication gap between them, who was the cause of her turning to check if she really had feeling in her heart.
The story starts with Shail meeting Ahaan in college corridor during a class gap. He has come on transfer from other college and all the guys and girls were talking to him. It was love at first sight. Despite of getting friendly warnings from his friends that he is going to get a ‘Stoney love’, he couldn’t stop himself getting involved. And Shail seemed to find her first true happiness. She seemed to be more cheerful, more extrovert and more joyful than any other girl would have been. She perfectly looked like a kid getting her first toy.
Mr. Singh comes to meet her. He too marks her changed behavior. He finds a smile that he never saw in his life. In fact he always blames himself for the condition in which she is. He thinks about the times when he and Shail’s mother were convincing her to stay with one of them.
Shail was in her room reading ‘TinTin’ with much interest. Mr. Singh comes in and starts convincing her to stay with him. He promises her all the luxuries in life. She is quite. There is no trace of any emotion on her face. He keeps on asking and convincing quiet Shail and gets interrupted by voice of Mrs. Singh. She intervenes accusing him of snatching her daughter. Throwing an angry glance on her he goes out. It was mother’s turn now to get the daughter on her side. But strangely, neither color nor feelings change on Shail’s face. She maintains the same fixed gaze on her face as she did to her father. Tired, Mrs. Singh goes out. She closes the ‘TinTin’ and keeps it.
Mr. And Mrs. Singh were stunned when the Judge, while declaring them divorced, also appended that according to wish of Shailaja Singh, she would be allowed to stay in hostel, and her parents were instructed to take care of her studies, living and other expenses. Both of them must meet her at least once in a month.
A normal class of college goes on. Shail and Ahaan continue to be in each others company and exams and other activities carry on. One-night Shail dreamt of her childhood.
The tensed atmosphere at home. The focuses of her mother more towards social service. And the longing of her father to have a homely wife. Everything seemed to create an imbalanced crossroad in her dreams. Voices of her angry father and helplessness as well as indifference of her mother. All merged into different colors and noise and kept on troubling her until she got up panting and gasping for breath. As she realized it was a dream and she is in her hostel room, she relaxed, had water and slept off.
College gets over and she comes back temporarily to her father’s place. Ahaan gets appointed in CBI and goes for training. Shail gets busy in cookery, bakery etc. She becomes too busy to miss anyone. On the other hand, Ahaan goes through a tough training and tougher torment of missing Shail.
Again, her mother asks her if she can live with her father then why can’t she live with her. She assures her of going to her after some months, before she moves to another hostel. Mother tries to explain her position. She also speaks about her stepbrother and how he and her husband are eager to meet her.
Ahaan comes back and gets troubled by not getting his expected reactions from Shail. Their meetings continued and Ahaan gradually got confirmed that her feelings were much less. Simultaneous proposal from his parents and a sudden, confrontation with Shail and interaction with Jyoti change Ahaan’s mind. He introduced Jyoti to Shail as his would be wife. It was a turning point in Shail’s life.
With wedding card and expectation of Shail’s pain Ahaan went to Shail. He was ready to break off is engagement if Shail gave little hint. Things came out differently. Ahaan ends up saying what others used to say. Shail is indeed a stone. It changed her life completely. Now she took it for true and started searching its truth. In a way she started believing it and behaving in the way.
Her father expires. But it seems that she is least sadden by such a loss. And his will is being read. Shail got half of his properties. This enraged her stepmother. She accuses her of her unperturbed of her father’s death and unworthy to inherit. Shail gives a suppressed smile.
Next morning after continuous knocks Shail's door had to be broken down. Her dead body is found reclining on table. A letter was found, smeared in her blood. The letter was read out. And slowly as letter is being read, people around surround her.
Shailaja Singh : Nandita Thakkur (Shaina Sikand in Kahin Kissi Roz,
Balaji, Telefilm Star Plus)/ Liza Ray
Ahaan : Aman Verma
Shail’s father : Ashutosh Rana
Shail’s mother : Renuka Rana
Shail’s stepmother: Reema Lagoo
Jyoti : Mandira Bedi