Your Starship Captain...
Might be a Redneck if...
~ Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.
~ He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
~ You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob."
~ He refers to Klingons as "Critters."
~ He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns."
~ He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum
foil.
~ He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.
~ He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies."
~ He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.
~ He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
~ He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
~ He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage."
~ He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
~ He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba."
~ He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster."
~ He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.
~ He paints the starship John Deere green.
~ He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special."
~ He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp."
~ His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
~ He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen."
~ His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.
~ He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.
~ His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' Bubba after a meal of beans
and weenies.
~ He sets phaser to "Cajun."
Narnies Pages