General Rules of the Air for Pilots
Well, just beam me up, Scotty
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
being up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6.The propeller is just a big fan in
front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can
actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with
the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
10. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in
clouds.
11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take-offs you've made.
12. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
13. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
14. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and
round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the
ground has yet to lose.
17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.
18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
much as possible.
19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
20. Remember: gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's a law
that is not subject to repeal.
21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, a
runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
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