| "Vusani Creature Thing" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]... > Hey Fran, HI VUSANI > > I am sorry that I haven't responded to specific posts of any kind for a > while, but I did want to write to you. > This, I am sure is the most bizarre rant of mine yet, but please read. I > apologize, but since I could not respond to all of your posts individually, > I will just write this general letter to try to catch up. > > I guess you never received my email did you? I just mentioned a few things, > and that I always wanted to visit the Giant's Causeway on your north coast. > It sounds really mystical to me. Because that is what a lot of your > countrymen that I have known have said about it. I don't want to meet the > Little People though, or a Banshee, as they would probably just kick me in > the shins, and play tricks on me, and the Banshee would make me drop dead of > a heart attack. If you have ever heard a peacock scream at night, well, they > sound like that. YES I KNOW ALL OF THOSE MYTHS, THEY'RE FUNNY, THOUGH THE LIL' PEOPLE ARE AMEANT TO BE NICE, GINGER SAYS SHE LIKES THEM, ;OP LOL, BUT IF THEY KICK U IN THE SHINS JUST GRAB THEM DON'T LET THEM GO AND THEN THEY HAVE TO TELL U WHERE THEIR TEASURE IS. AND THE GIANTS CAUSEWAY IS A LOVELY PLACE AND VERY MYSTERIOUS AS ARE MOST PLACES OVER HERE, U SHOULD COME OVER IT IS VERY NICE PLACE. > > Anyway, I just wanted to write to you and to tell you that I do care also, > just like all the other people here do, and wish that I could say something > good. I think that CindyB should send you the Hope Creature that I sent to > everyone. He really is a good creature, and doing his best for all of us. I > know that this is childish yes, but I am still a child. In that I always > want to play, and not think too much, and just to enjoy my youth. I don't > have youth, but I am determined to go through my second childhood any second > now. I live alone, so no one can tell me that I can't. So I will do so. > Where's the sparklers!? Where's the Lincoln Logs?! Where's my Lego Set!? > Dammit! I want a set right now! and I'm gonna turn blue from holding my > breath until I get them! And I am gonna roll on the floor while I am doing > so too! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I THINK THAT I ALSO SHALL REMAIN A CHILD UNTIL THE DAY I HAVE TO GROW UP...E;I When I have one of my own..... > > Anyway, I assure you that I have been the lowest of the low, for both mental > situations, and life's situations, and it sometimes is a wonder that I am > still alive myself. In other words, I can truly empathize with the feeling > of hopelessness and despair, and loneliness and negative feelings of all > stripes. You are not the only person to have felt this way I assure you. I AM GLAD THAT SOMEONE CAN REALATE TO THE WAY I FEEL I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE DO, BUT THEY HAVE OTHERS TO CONSIDER, FAMILY ETC, I DON'T REALLY FEEL ASTHOUGH I HAVE ANYONE LIKE THAT, PEOPLE SAY DARRON, BUT I KNOW HIM NOT EVEN A YEAR. > > That being said, I want to you to know that since you are still a young > woman, you still have a lot of living to do. You just never know what the > future might hold for you. I know there can be stumbling blocks and real > down days, but every once in a while something whimsically wonderful can > happen to us too. I can only say this, because I have even seen it in my own > low-level life, and have to believe that that is a fact. I won't go into my > own life's story, but believe you me, that I have been there, and that > includes suicide attempts and mental hospitals. I KNOW I AM STILL YOUNG, THOUGH SOMETIMES I FEEL ASTHOUGH I AM 90, OR PAST IT, EVERYTIME I GET ON MY FEET I FALL AGAIN, AND IT ISN'T JUST ONE HURDLE TO GET OVER THERE ARE SAY 7 THINGS AT ONCE, LIFE CAN BE SO HARSH AND OTT. > > My oldest sister's daughter-in-law killed herself a few years ago, and my > sister almost never got over it. She went to a sorta S.O.S group (survivors > of suicide) for many months to help herself. It was devastating to her. She > came to terms by now I think, but that was only because of the support from > people who were survivors of the same thing. She wasn't even all that close > to her daughter in law, but just how the fact that this girl shot herself in > front of her husband without giving an explanation first was just so > traumatic to her, that she never mentioned nor would talk about it again to > any of us. Just went to the support group. Apparently it helped, and I am so > thankful for that. I never knew the whole story, but it was a tragedy. This > is just to give you a perspective on the effect you might have on others > regardless on whether they think about you or not. Any death is a shock to a > family, but you would be missed and cried over. I assure you. Have you ever > heard the phrase; "You don't know what you have until it's gone?" YES I HAVE HEARD IT OFTEN. AND A LOT OF TIMES THE ONLY THING THAT STOPPED ME FROM ENDING IT WAS THE FACT OF OTHER PEOPLES REACTIONS ETC, AND I HATE THAT, CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I AM TRAPPED IN A NO WIN SITUATION. >>>>small snip<<<<< If you think not having someone around by them killing > themselves makes any of us feel any better, I am afraid that you are just > plain wrong. I have never known an instance of that to the contrary. I had a > high-school classmate that was shot to death by the police a year after our > graduation, (kinda what is referred to here as "Death by Cop" suicide), and > he was a very seriously disturbed boy; but that did not make me feel any > less sad, that any human should have ended up like that at so young of an > age. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, AND IT IS ALSO THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD THAT LEAVES ME DEPRESSED, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW SOME PEOPLE CAN BE SO CRUEL, > > I have seen people at funerals that although they didn't know the person > personally, would say something like "they did this and that, and it really > made a difference to me". Even without contact with a lot of people, you > will always have an effect on someone! Any breathing human being cannot help > but to do so. It really is not possible to be totally non-existent and > alive. I don't think so anyway. Just suppose you are a coma victim and in a > hospital bed for years, you still affect the doctors, the nurses, and the > few angelic volunteers that come to hospitals to help you. I guess you would > just have to live on the moon to get away from every one physically, but you will never go away mentally regardless. And this > includes me! As I am now acquainted with you, and you can never leave me or my memory for as long as I live. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I COULD GET AWAY FROM EVERYONE OR THAT I JUST QUITE PLAINLY WAS NEVER EVER BORN, BUT I GUESS I AM AND I CANNOT CHANGE THAT, NOR THE EFFECT THAT I HAVE ON PEOPLE. I remember SlimFran from my auld city of Belfast, Did you know her? I did, and am very grateful that I did so. I HAVE TO LAFF AT THE WAY YOU WROTE AULD, MOST PEOPLE JUST WRITE OLD OR OWL, I USED TO WRITE AULD BUT THEN PEOPLE NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT SO I STOPPED WRITING IT THAT WAY. > You might have noticed, that many people here no longer have their loved > one's, but we still have them with us in our hearts, our minds and our > memories. Just like your father, and as you still remember him, and you > always will, so shall be the same for you to others. I do not think I am > lying on this, but you know what I mean. Correct me if you think I am wrong. NO I DON'T THINK THAT YOU ARE WRONG AT ALL. I WOULD HATE MYSELF TO LOOSE ANYONE FROM HERE ON THIS NG OR OVER HERE IN MY SURROUNDINGS > I can not give an opinion myself of where we go after we die, but for here on earth, it really hurts to lose anyone. I don't care who they are. There were people protesting Timothy McVie's execution, and cried after that, so I think after something like this, you and me probably would have a few mourners also! Regardless of whether we realize it or not. > You said that you needed something to occupy your time, and were pretty > bored. I heard a lot of good responses, and you didn't seem up to a few of them. THIS IS BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF MOTIVATION, I WILL BE A LITTLE BIT BETTER WHEN I AM MORE ACTIVE AND BACK IN TRAING, THIS I CANNOT WAIT FOR. I think all of them you should look in to. Although I was a volunteer in something or another for many years myself, I am sure that you can find something to do. Someone mentioned that you like to write, and made a reference about writing a book. Well, that is a good start! Just look at me! I write all sorts of drivel, without making a lick o' sense, but I still do > it. Plus, you don't have to actually share it with anyone, you can just keep > it to yourself. There was a thing I was informed of many years ago that I thought was great when it came to writing. All your thoughts, frustrations, hopes, dreams, and wishes should be written down on paper one night. Then you should burn it, and scatter the few ashes while you wish for it to be remembered by the cosmos. It's usually done during the solstice, but will work at any time. It's kind of like a consecrated prayer to one's self, and no one would ever know what you said but yourself, and it might actually feel better knowing that you said what you wanted to say without any other person arguing over it or rendering an opinion. I have done this many times on really dark, dreary, days and nights. Even if it was only the angels that were listening, it has comforted me. > Writing something, anything, is great therapy if you ask me, (or otherwise, I don't think they would have sold diary books for a few hundred years by now) and you can always edit out the stuff that you do not like. Or, at least that is what I do. But I ain't the brightest crayon in the box, and never took a writing course, so I don't know. Doesn't matter to me! I have never followed the herd anyway, and some writing critics seem to me to be among the stupidest of people that just can't "get it". Write! Don't listen to anyone else. Do it for yourself. Since I don't have the resources to come visit your part of the world, and visit the places that I want, I will rely on you to describe all the things around you that you have experienced. I am still curious about the Giant's Causeway, and want to know more about it. > Sorry to be so ignorant, but, have you ever seen the movie "The Secret of > Roan Innish"? It's stuff like that that I think of from time to time. I want > to date a Harpie sometime. They would be really fun downtown at the water > gardens! I wanted to visit the Hebrides Isles once because of what a former > BBC reporter and musicologist told me about them and the music there. Quite > a tickle to an imagination to someone like myself> > Sincerely, > > Vusani > > > -The world is so full of a number of things, > I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings. > WELL THAT WAS LONG :o) I CAN'T SEEM TO GET MY HEAD IN TO GEAR AT THE MOMENT TO DO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE, I HHAVE BEEN DECORATNG MY HOUSE, AND STUFF, TRYING TO READ, I WILL TRY TO WRITE MORE POEMS, AND START ON A BOOK, AND I WILL WRITE SHITE SHITE SHITE, LIKE I THINK IT WAS SHIRLEY SAID O DO, ANYTHING, ALL MY HTOUGHTS ETC AND WISHES LIKE U SAID, I MAY LOOK FUNNY WHEN I BURN THEM AND SCATTER THEM ALL OVER MY BACK YARD, SO I WILL TAKE THEM TO THE GIANTS CAUSEWAY, IF I CAN GET MY COUISIN TO TAKE ME DOWN THERE SOMEDAY AS IT IS QUITE FAR, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS LIKE AND POST YOU SOME PICS, ETC. AND WHEN MY BRAIN BEGINS TO FUNCTION PROPERLY I WILL TRY AND DECRIBE TO YOU WHAT IT IS LIKE DOWN THERE, IT IS TRUELLY AMAZING AND A GREAT PLACE TO THINK ETC. AND DRAW. I DONE 11YEARS OF OUTDOOR PURSUITS AND WATER SPORTS DOWN THERE, AND REMEMBER IT DEARLY. I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FILM THAT U MENTIONED, BUT WILL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT, I COLLECT VIDEOS, FOR SOME STRANGE REASON. ONE DAY YOU WILL HAVE THE RESOURCES TO VISIT HERE, AND I WOULD REALLY LIKE THAT, YOU WOULD BE IN AWE AT SOME OF THE SIGHTS, I WILL EVEN TAKE PHOTOS OF THE BONFIRES THAT WE HAVE EVERY 11th OF JULY AND POST A FEW HERE, IT WOULD BE GOOD TO GET A BIRDS EYE VEIW OF BELFAST ON THE 11TH AS IT IS ALL LIT UP WITH BONFIRES, BIT LIKE THE 4TH JULY I SUSPECT. > WELL I GUESS I WILL GO NOW AND WRITE MORE TO YOU AND LET YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE, OKI DOKI? TAKE CARE AND THANKS FOR WRITING TO ME, YOU HAVE CHEERED ME UP RIGHTLY, AND GIVEN ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. LOVE FRAN > |