(pacing, muttering, flustered)

I just don’t understand this! What on earth is He thinking? Is He sure that this is the best way?

(notices audience for the first time. talks half to the audience, half to himself.)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not usually one to question my God-given missions. When God says “Gabriel, go do this!”, I do just what He says. I tell ya, it’s great being the head messenger of God! Sending down fire and dividing seas are all in an eternity’s work for me. Wherever God sends me...that’s where I go! I promise, I’m not one to doubt my instructions. But...that was before God informed the head angels of His new plan.

When word got out that God was to become a man, I was so excited! I could envision the moment already!

(dazes off into space as though he were seeing it before his eyes)

The Messiah in a blazing chariot.....The King descending on a fiery cloud....an explosion of light from which the Messiah would emerge!

(aside)

Hollywood, eat your heart out! These special effects are the real deal! It would be amazing! Everyone would be convinced that this was the Son of God, coming down from heaven in all His glory, just to save their wretched hides from hell.

(pause)

That’s what I expected anyway. God, however, seems to have a rather warped sense of humor. I was wandering around heaven performing my usual tasks when Michael comes up and hands me a note from God Himself. So of course I unfolded that slip of paper and read it right away. It didn’t take me very long. The note only contained three short sentences. But I’d never been so surprised in my life! As a matter of fact...I think that it’s still in my pocket...let me see....

(reaches into pocket and pulls out several strange articles such as a kazoo, a wallet, keys, candy, etc. while mumbling things such as ‘let’s see where did I put that?’, ‘whoa, where’d that come from?’, ‘hey, i’ve been lookin’ for this!’ etc. etc. Finally he finds the slip of paper.)

Ah-ha! Here it is! These are the three little sentences that have caused me to question my superior...the superior of all superior! You wanna know what it says? Ok, here we go:

(clears throat and begins to read the note)

‘God will become a baby. Tell the mother to name the child Jesus. And tell her not to be afraid.’

Can you believe it? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, I’m not the kind of angel that questions authority....but this???

(reading)

‘God will become a baby.’

A baby huh? A human baby, no less. Well, I’ve seen human babies before. After all, I had been a platoon leader on the bulrush operation. Yeah, I remember what Moses looked like. I guess, those little bodies are ok for humans....but for God?! Um....I don’t think so. The heavens can’t even contain Him! How on earth could a body? And besides, have you seen what comes out of those babies? Or perhaps I should phrase it this way: have you smelled what comes out of those babies?!

(snorts disgustedly)

Hardly befitting for the Creator of the universe, wouldn’t you say? I mean...babies need to be carried and fed, bounced and bathed. The very thought of some mother burping God on her shoulder...that surpasses even my imagination.

Oh, and what’s with the name? What was it again.....Jesus? Why don’t they just give him a classy name like Bob? I mean, Jesus is the most common , the most boring name that there is. There’s a Jesus in every cul-de-sac. I mean come on....even Gabriel has more pizzazz to it than Jesus. They should call the baby Eminence or Son-of-God Man or Captain Salvation or something. Anything but Jesus!

(pause)

Whatever happened to the good ‘ol days? All that Sodom and Gomorrah stuff. Flooding the globe. Flaming swords. That’s what I’m talkin’ about! That’s the kind of action Gabriel likes!

(pause)

But...I have my orders. Who am I supposed to take this message to anyway?

(looks at slip of paper again)

Mary, huh? Must be a special girl.

(sighs)

Well, there’s no use delaying the inevitable...I might as well go deliver this thing. Besides...I’m pretty curious about what this Mary girl must be like.

(as Gabriel is talking, Mary enters Stage Left and begins to pantomime doing various activities such as watering plants, feeding animals etc.)

I’ll bet she’s a very adult, wise, mature individual. I bet she’s very beautiful and witty and charming....

(sees Mary)

Aw, she’s a cute kid. I guess Mary must be her mother...funny...I thought that Mary was supposed to be a virgin...What was that?

(looks upward as if listening to somebody. shocked expression on face. does a double-take with Mary. As he is talking Joseph enters Stage Right and begins to pantomime doing various carpenter duties)

She’s who?! You’ve got to be kidding me! I mean, look at her! Has she even reached puberty yet?! She looks like she still plays with dolls! What is she, 13? 14? She’s a-a-peasant for heaven’s sake!

And who’s that other guy...Joe? What does he know? He’s just a carpenter. Look at him over there, sawdust in his hair, tool belt around his waist. You’re telling me that God is going to have dinner every night with him? You’re telling me the source of wisdom is going to call this guy “dad”? You’re telling me a common laborer is going to be charged with giving food to God? What if he gets laid off? What if he gets cranky? What if he decides to run off with a pretty girl from down the street? Then where will we be?

(Joseph freezes, Mary settles into a praying position and pantomimes fervent prayer)

You’ve had some strange ideas before God but...this is really something else....but...I trust you. And when You tell me to do something....that’s what I do.

(pause, adds)

but I don’t like it! Ok, here we go...get ready for the typical shrieks of terror and the hurling of missile weapons...sheesh...people act like they’ve never seen an angel before...ok, here goes nothing.

(Mary notices Gabriel’s presence and is noticeably startled)

Hey Mary, you lucky woman, you! The Lord is with you!

Who are you? What’re you talking about? What’s going on?! If it’s about that snake in Miss Miriam’s grain, I don’t know anything about it!

Whoa, lady....Do not be afraid and all that stuff! For I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people--oh wait...whoops, that’s the wrong speech...my bad

(chuckles nervously. clears throat and starts over)

Anyway, God has decided to bless you! You will become pregnant and have a son and you are to name him Jesus....but if maybe you wanted to make his middle name something cool like...oh I dunno, Captain Christ or something then that’d be ok too...Anyway, he will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord will give him the throne of his ancestor David. Only he will reign forever; His kingdom will never end!

(uncertain)

Well...what you’re saying sounds great but...how am I supposed to have a baby? I’m a virgin.

Don’t worry. The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby born to you will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. I know it sounds crazy...but believe me...nothing is impossible with God.

(repeats softly to himself, as if realizing the words for the first time)

Oh...I get it...nothing is impossible with God...

THE END