He had been dozing on and off on
the couch for a while. There was
absolutely nothing on TV and he had been double thinking his decision to stay
at home instead of going out shopping with Brit. It was a quiet day, though. It was just the type of day he needed. But then again every time he got home he
seemed to get bored. He itched for the
spotlight and craved the road.
It was a weird paradox. He needed the time off, looked forward to it,
but then as soon as he got it he couldn’t stand it. It would only be a little while, just through
the holidays and then the tour would start up again. He had been home alone for a few hours while
his girlfriend went out with some friends to go Christmas shopping. He had
tried to be productive, tried to write or something other than lay on the couch
but he couldn’t really get himself motivated.
But then all his vanished
motivation came back and focused around one thing.
“Hey Justin.”
She was standing by the French doors
that led out onto his back patio where the grill and pool were. She was wearing silk, black silk, which was
odd because normally she always was in white, no matter what the material. It was a simple gown with straps that tied at
the top.
There was a draft, a breeze, air
blowing through her hair and against her gown.
He didn’t realize he had said anything,
but the air must have sucked it out of him.
“Hey…”
She walked towards him but he couldn’t
move. He was fixed right there on the
couch. She was floating towards him and
soon she was close to him, but he couldn’t lift his hands to touch her. He wanted to feel her and make sure she was
real, which he knew she wasn’t. Still,
he wanted to feel her, needed to feel her.
“You can touch.” She whispered to
him in that voice. It was that voice,
that voice that meant she wanted him.
These were the dreams he loved.
“I cant
move.”
“Let me help.” Her small dainty hands pulled up on his much
larger ones and he gasped. Her hands
were freezing, but when she placed them on her hips her body was warm.
He found himself sitting up now,
his face inches from her silken torso.
He looked up at her, her long hair flowing over her shoulders and her
deep eyes staring down into his. “I want
you.”
He didn’t know who said it, him or her, but it didn’t matter, it was a mutual feeling
and he brought his lips to her stomach in a simple kiss.
But that kiss somehow untied the
straps at her shoulders and he pulled away just in enough time to see the black
silk melt off her body and pool at her feet.
“I’m yours, only yours.”
With his body numb and his mouth
dry he stared at her. She was
perfect.
“Dear God…”
A surge
of energy expelled from him and he grabbed her naked body and pulled her down
onto him. He slid down and she rested on
him as his tongue slid through her mouth, trying to pull her into him and
swallow her. He wanted her to become a
part of him, so that she’d never disappear, never leave, never make him wish to
sleep just so he could be with her.
She
moved with his pace kissing him back furiously, holding on to him, making him
feel like he was in charge, like he was the one in control. Truth was he was out of control and out of
his mind. He ripped his shirt off like
an animal, desperate to feel her skin against his and he moaned when her
breasts pressed against his chest. His
bruised lips moved down her neck. He
could feel her warmth, her pulse, feel her moving
against him with each deep intake of breath.
She had
to be real. She just had to be. Nothing in a dream was ever this real for
him-- for anyone. He was sure of it. It had to be reality.
“Take
them off,” She said in a rushed whisper, her hands fumbling with his jeans.
She was
needy and rushed, just like true, rushed, pure sex.
He was
naked soon, just like her. It was
hot. He felt his skin sticking to hers
when he pressed his body down onto hers. He laid on
top of her kissing her gently, feeling her hands play with his short curls, he
leaned his head down on her shoulder and kissed her neck sweetly.
“Please
let this be real,” he prayed.
“Hmmm?”
He
lifted above her and shook his head. “Nothing.”
“I’m
ready, Justin,” she said with a shy smile.
He met
her there and clasped her hands above her head on the couch, her fingers
interlocked with his, her body spread out for him and him deep with in
her.
She
knew just what to do and he thrust against her body, in her body with no
inhibitions.
He had
gone to heaven. If that was what heaven
was like he wouldn’t have minded if he had died in his sleep.
“Damn…”
She
took in a deep breath as she asked, “Wh-what?”
“Oh, This feels nice.”
“It-it
always does.”
“I love
you…” He whispered into her hair subconsciously,
not even realizing he said it, moving with her slower though.
“I know…don’t
stop.”
He couldn’t
control himself at the sound of her voice and the way she grabbed on to
him. He bucked against her and felt
himself getting there, fast. He felt
her too, closing in, holding him tighter. “Oh shit…”
“Justin…oh
Justin…”
“Oh god, what?” He closed his eyes,
he could feel her slipping away so he grabbed her harder.
“Well
damn, let me in on it!”
“W- what-huh?” He opened his eyes and gasped, a blonde head
was in his way, with big eyes and a goofy smile.
“Bad
dream?” She stifled a laugh.
Justin
sat up and looked at his girlfriend oddly.
“No-no.”
She had plopped her sea of shopping bags right in the middle of the
floor and she was standing in front of him with her sunglasses perched on her
head and her hands on her hips.
She
looked very amused. “Naughty
dream?”
“I…”
This was awkward. This was more than
awkward and the bad thing is, he wanted to go back to sleep, desperately.
Damn, that was hot.
“Mmm,
maybe I can make your dream come true.”
He
watched her pull off her sunglasses and slip off her flip flops before she
snuggled up beside him. “Wh-when did you
get back?”
“Just a few minutes ago. Good thing the
girls couldn’t come in. That might have
been a little embarrassing.”
“Yeah…What’d
you buy?”
She
moved to straddle his lap and hooked her arms around his neck. “We went to
Dolce-- Holy shit! Baby, what was that
dream about?” She pulled off him a
little and looked down at his lap at his noticeable arousal.
“Sex.” He played off a goofy smile, hoping she didn’t
see through him and realize the dream wasn’t about her. He had a hard-on the size of
He
needed some sort of release and having her sit on him and shift her weight over
his dick felt incredible.
“What
were we doin’?”
He
ignored the “we” and decided to play in this little game that she was playing. It was her assumption. He never said it was with her. If it ended up in him getting laid he was
all for his little lie. He needed that
right then. “What do you think? Sex.”
“Like how?”
He
pinched her ass. “You
little perv. Just
nothing special.”
“Justin
Randall it better-“
“Oh
please, you know what I mean. It’s
always special with you but it wasn’t ya know…anything off the wall.”
She
promptly sucked right underneath his ear after she said, “So I wasn’t sucking
you off or anything?”
“No,” he
all but moaned.
“Or
riding you?”
“N-no…”
“Or we weren’t
like, in the shower or…”
He
pulled her away by bracing his hands on her arms. He looked her in the eyes and asked, “Britney,
what are you doing?”
“Don’t
you know?” she
said with a sly tone with a small smile.
“You sure?”
She
rolled her eyes and lifted her arms over her head. “Don’t ask stupid
questions. Instead why don’t you use
your mouth for something better and while you’re at it, take my top off.”
“Yes
master.” He laughed with her as he
pulled off her tee shirt, moving his hands over her breasts instinctively when
her shirt was thrown to the floor.
“That’s
right.”
“Goin’
bra-less today, eh?”
“Thought you might like it.” She winked and let
him pulled her on top of him as they lay down.
“Oh, I
like it. Can’t you feel?”
“I bet
you-shit…”
He
laughed at the surprise her face held when his hand had moved inside her short
gym shorts. The elastic made the access
easy and he had no trouble moving inside her panties to get where he wanted. She gritted out huskily, closing her eyes, “You’re
evil.”
“Mmm,
you always feel so good babygirl.”
“So do
you,” she said with her hands up underneath his shirt.
“Do me.”
“Ok.” She
moved her hands down and started to work on the button fly of his jeans that
looked like it was about to burst. Every
movement her hand had against the fly of his jeans was like electricity bolting
through him. He could feel how she was
starting to react to him where his fingers were, he played more, eliciting
moans from her and leaned up so he could suck on her lips. Damn, did he want her.
She got
the jeans unbuttoned and he stopped the movement of his hand inside her shorts
for a minute so she could concentrate on the task. Her hand was on his dick and it felt so
nice. But before she pulled him out of
his boxers she said his name. “Justin…”
He
breathed out a “Yes?”
“You
know, I’m yours, right? Only yours.”
He
squinted and looked at her hard. She didn’t just- “W- what?”
“I’m yours.”
His
hand retreated from her shorts and he pushed himself back away from her and
against the arm of the couch, making her hand slip from his boxers. “I-I know.
Why’d you say that?” He couldn’t believe
Britney had said that. That’s what she had said earlier. It was too weird and too much of a coincidence.
“I don’t
know. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…nothing.” He sat up and pushed her off
of him a little, now that she was
leaning towards him again.
“Ok, what’s going on?”
“Just…I
need some water.”
He got
up and dashed into the kitchen, needing to get out of that room, that room
where he had just had a dream and that he was just about to- He was getting way too far over his
head. “Oh, what the
hell?” Her voice was confused and
pissed off.
“Britney
just…leave it alone,” he called out to her from the kitchen.
“Hell no! I thought we were about to fuck and now your
all pissy. What just happened?”
He
stopped in front of the cabinet with the cups and turned to look at her straitening
out the shirt she must have put back on.
“I can’t ok? I just can’t right
now.”
“Why not? Does you’re
dick not work or something? I mean you
seemed pretty able last night. What’s
changed in 24 hours?”
“Because the damn dream wasn’t about you, alright! Happy?”
He
swore under his breath once it came out.
He was tired of lying to her and didn’t care any more if she knew. “What?”
“Just
shut up.” He couldn’t tell her
everything, though. She’d laugh him into
a cave. Instead of being supportive or
sensitive she’d laugh at him and then get down on herself and make him feel
guilty as hell.
“Who
was it about?”
“Nobody.” It wasn’t
a lie. She was nobody. Nobody he knew. Nobody real. But she was his and he loved that. He wished she had never showed up in his
dreams. She wished she didn’t exist in
his mind. But damn was she good.
“Justin,
who the-“
He
waved his hands in defense and rolled his eyes, not at her but at the whole
damn situation. “Nobody!
I don’t know who it was, ok? Some
mystery girl, I guess! I’ve never seen
her before, ya know, like in real life.
I mean I don’t even remember what her face looked like.” He added the last part. It was a lie but he couldn’t tell her he had
every wrinkle and freckle and imperfection, if there were any, on this girl
memorized.
“Oh…”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“So…you…you
had a dream about someone else?”
He
sighed and slammed the cup he had gotten out of the cabinet onto the
counter. He knew she’d play the “you don’t
want me anymore” card. “No because this
person isn’t real. I don’t know who it
was! It was just a person. It wasn’t anyone we know or anyone in real
life. Just a-a thing. A dream.”
“But it
wasn’t me.”
“Oh
come on! You giggle about Tom fucking
Cruise every other day.”
“I do
NOT! So what if I think he’s cute? you get a fuckin’ hard-on every time Janet Jackson is on TV.”
“Britney
stop being a drama queen!” He bit his
tongue after he said it. This was going
to be bad.
“WHAT?! You’re having SEX fantasies about some girl! I don’t DREAM about fucking Tom Cruise!”
“Sure.”
“Plus,
you were about to use me to fulfill your
little fantasy. Dammit! Make me feel all sexy and wanted when I come
home but, oh no! It wasn’t me. God knows you don’t want me.”
He
shuffled over to the fridge with his shouldered slumped and pulled out the
pitcher of filtered water. He didn’t want to deal with this tantrum right
now. He might of
provoked it but she was acting like a toddler.
“Britney shut up. Stop feeling
bad about yourself. I can’t help it ok? It’s not like I went to sleep hoping I’d have
a sex dream with someone other than you.”
“No you
shut up Justin! Listen, I’m tired of all
this bull shit. You can….” He toned her out as she rambled on about all
the pressure she has on herself and instead poured a glass of water. She was blowing this whole thing way out of
proportion. So maybe he was going to use
her but at least he stopped himself.
It was
going on too much, and too far. He
needed to put a stop to these dreams. He
needed to learn to say no. But how could
he when he wasn’t in control. Maybe he just
wouldn’t go to sleep.
That wouldn’t
work.
Maybe
Trace was right. Maybe he needed a
therapist.
He
heard her growl and turned to look at her as he took a big gulp. “Now you aren’t
even listening to me! Ya know, maybe I’ll
go to
“Whatever.” He shrugged, tired of arguing and hearing her
whiney voice.
“God, you
are the biggest fucking ASSHOLE!”
“You’re
the biggest fuckin’ drama queen.”
“I hate you!”
He
rolled his eyes as he watched her stomp away.
Halfway up the steps he saw her stomp back down and grab her 6+ bags and
then flip him off. She then stomped back
up and slammed the door to some room in the upper floor.
He
sighed, finished his water and put the cup in the sink. He loved Britney, but when she was acting
like a 2 year old he wanted to strangle her.
If only she could have been calm and peaceful and gentle and…
Don’t do this man, don’t compare them.
He ran
his hands over his face. It was getting
too complicated for him to figure out. Just
then the phone rang. He walked over,
picked it up and pressed talk as he sat down at the kitchen table. “Hello.”
“Hey
Man-“
“Hello?” He heard her pick up on the upstairs phone,
her voice now nice and cheery.
“I got
it Brit.” He said in his most calm voice.
“ASSHOLE!”
The
phone slammed down and it was quiet for a while before he heard Wade’s voice
come over the line. “Whoa. Everything ok?”
“She’s
just being a DQ.”
Wade
chuckled, “Yeah?”
“We got
in some silly fight over something stupid.”
“Wanna
talk about it?”
He
would have, but he didn’t know if he could trust Wade with such an unusual
secret as a dream girl. Trace he could trust, and it wasn’t as if Wade was a bad person, he just
figured Wade would tell one of the guys and then all hell would break
loose. “Not really. I think she’s just kinda been stressed with
her tour coming up and everything. Ya
know her? She gets pissed but she’ll be
alright in about an hour or two.”
“Yeah. But don’t worry. She’ll be in good hands on tour.”
“I know. I’m glad you’re gonna be there with her. She’s been kinda frazzled lately.”
“Yeah. But so have you…”
“Oh,
yeah…I mean, I guess.” He scratched his head, wondering what the hell that
meant. He had been frazzled? He didn’t think anyone else had noticed, but
maybe it was getting too much. Maybe he
was letting this whole awkward, unusual situation affect him outside of his
dreams.
She was
taking over his whole life, not just in his sleep.
This
was not good.