The next day, late morning.
A long winding uphill road led to
where they were now. There were trees
all around and other large houses here and there. She eyed the wooden gate as he leaned out of
his window and pressed some numbers into a keypad. She could see the edge of the house, it
looked beautiful. The wooden gate opened
and he turned to grin at her as he took the car further. His yard was nice and
green and there were flowers and plants.
She smiled at the Spanish
style. She loved Spanish tile roofs. There was a white stone wall that was high
and blocked his house from the view of anyone.
She liked the privacy and seclusion but frowned that that was how he had
to live. When she was younger she’d
never lived in a neighborhood with friends that lived down the street and she
had always wished that she had been able to.
She hoped he got to have a childhood like that and didn’t mind living in
such a private manner now.
“So…” He asked when he parked the car in front of
the small front door. There was an arch
over it and a couple steps but nothing too fancy or grand. The house didn’t look humongous from this
angle, but she bet it was a lot larger than it appeared.
“So what?” She moved her eyes from the front door to his
face. He looked eager and excited. She smiled.
“What do you think?”
She nodded at him. “I love the style. I love Spanish architecture.”
“Cool.” He opened his car door and waved her out of
the car. “Well, come on! I’ll give you the tour. I’ll have to warn you. There’s nothing in it. Like, I have my piano and a bed, a few other
pieces of furniture and some clothes...but that’s pretty much it.”
She laughed and opened her
door. “It’s ok.”
The house was wonderful. It was spacious and yet some how cozy. Ok, so it wasn’t too cozy with hardly any
furniture, but the hardwood floors and white walls made it more inviting. She wondered what one person would do with
all that space. She never understood why
rich people invested in such huge houses.
She would much rather had a small house and spend her money on travel,
or buying more small houses in the Alps, in Rome, in London, in Beijing, in
Hong Kong, in Cape Town, Sydney, St. Petersburg, Lima, all her favorite places,
and going to resort spas on tiny islands that no one knew about.
He showed her the kitchen and the
den, and then the playroom and the music room.
The room that would be his studio was downstairs in the basement and
outside there was a massive porch and a staircase that led up to his room, so
he said. She asked him if he had a pool
and he had said no and that all his old houses had pools but they
never got used. She frowned at
that. She had been missing a pool for a
long time and it would have been nice to have a friend’s to use at times.
There were several bedrooms in the
house. His was, of course, incredible,
with views over LA, a fireplace and a huge bed.
There were lots of windows and two outdoor porches. He had a closet as big as his room and a
bathroom that was almost bigger, with an amazing tub and shower. Marble and tile were all over the bathroom
and one of the outdoor porches was a nice balcony that over looked LA.
Out on the balcony he pointed to
the tennis courts and then when they wove their way to what he said would be
his “office” (she had rolled her eyes at the thought of him as a business man)
he pointed to the small guest house. She
was impressed but could tell he was more impressed with himself and his
purchase.
It was a wonderful house, no
doubt, but when he asked her what her favorite part was, she didn’t know what
to say. Honestly, she liked she flowers
outside, and the piano, but most of all she liked the sink in his bedroom. She liked how his toothbrush, toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor and deodorant were laying on a small towel beside the
sink. She liked the fact that a white
towel was hanging over the doorknob and there was a bright green bottle of what
looked like Pert Plus perched in a shelf in the shower, the door of which was open. That part of his house had been lived
in.
It was what made her love her
brother’s house so much. Even though he
could have a nice house if he wanted, maybe not as nice as Justin’s, he decided
for something smaller. Yeah, the fish
tank and plasma screen was intimidating.
But he loved that house, and he lived in it. The fridge always had food in and the sink
always had dirty dishes. The kitchen
table seemed to never be rid of the daily newspaper and there were always
Playstation games or DVDs scattered on the floor of the den.
It wasn’t that she liked mess; she
just liked things that weren’t so perfect.
She had grown up in a house where there were rooms she couldn’t go in
unless there was an adult present. She
didn’t understand why the rooms existed if they were never used.
“Darcy?”
She snapped out of it and looked
at where he was leaning against the counter by the stove, staring at her. “Huh?”
“Spacin’ out on me?” He chuckled and asked her again. “What’s your favorite part?”
“Oh, um, the balcony is nice.”
He nodded and smiled. If she didn’t know any better he was rather
pleased with himself. “I think I’m gonna
attempt to put a hammock up there. Wanna
help me with that later?”
She hoped maybe if she helped him
with it they’d be able to lay in it and talk and kiss. She was dying to get to know him better.
“Sure.”
“I can’t wait to get all of my
stuff in here.” He sighed and looked
around the kitchen. “Then maybe this
place won’t look so hollow. It’s awesome
though. I mean, you have to admit. It’s a great house. Four huge bedrooms, a guest house, balconies
and a studio. This is the shit.”
Her eyes narrowed and she hoped
this obnoxious cocky side would disappear.
She usually liked a little arrogance on a man, but he was started to get
annoying. “Right.”
“Mom’s worried I’m not gonna have
enough room for all my cars. I mean we
got the Porsche, and my truck, my Benz- I’m thinking about getting a new one,
and my motorcycles, and my mom’s car will be here and Trace’s car, too.”
“Oh please...” She interrupted him and rolled her eyes,
turning away from him to peer out the wall length mirrors that looked out onto
the backyard. She noticed the middle ones were French doors.
“What?”
“Nothing. Are we gonna eat lunch?”
“Yeah.” He paused and she glanced at him. He was staring at her with this eyebrows
furrowed. Ugh, she thought, men were so
stupid. “You ok?”
“Just hungry.”
“I got beer and
“Yum.” She laughed a little,
coming back into her normal self. Though
she wasn’t much a beer fan, or frozen pizza fan, it was nice to know he wasn’t
all Mister Rich like he was trying to seem.
Any guy who could still enjoy beer and frozen pizza was ok to her.
“What’s wrong? Do you want me to order out from
somewhere? I could get something from
L’Orangie.”
She stopped in her tracks and her
lip curled up in disgusted. L’Orangie
was an extremely expensive French restaurant.
He was back to trying to impress her. “Oh give me a break. I’d rather have pizza and beer any day than
that shit.”
“It’s not shit! It’s good!
It’s like 100 bucks a per-”
She thought she was going to throw
up. She really thought he was different,
down to earth, humble. But no, he was
just like the rest of them. She snapped.
“I know how much it is Justin. God.”
There was silence in the house and
all she could hear was the hum the refrigerator was making at that moment. She stared at him with an eyebrow slightly
raised and her arms across her chest.
She watched him as his face reddened and his eyes darted to the
floor. “I…I’m sorry.”
She scoffed at him, “Look, if
you’re gonna be a prick all day, I’d rather you just take me home. I have more important things I could be
doing.”
His blue eyes cut into hers and
she felt bad for a moment. Maybe she was
a little harsh on him but she was tired of men always calling her on every
fault she had, so it was about time she did some of her own calling out. He sighed heavily and licked his lips. His voice was a hurried whisper, “What’d I
do?”
“You’re trying to impress me with
your damn money.”
“No I’m…”
She shook her head and interrupted
him again. “Yes, yes you are
Justin. I didn’t need to know your house
cost ‘a few million.’” She mocked his voice.
“I didn’t need to know how many cars you have, or that you eat at fancy
restaurants and that your bathroom is made of real Italian marble. Believe it or not, not every girl is
impressed by money. God, I thought you
were different.”
“I…I am.” He looked lost as his eyes darted
around. He rubbed his palms against his
jeans and chewed on his bottom lip.
“No, apparently you’re not. I thought you were down to earth and humble,
but no. Every guy I’ve dated has owned a
Mercedes and a nice house and had damn marble.
Who gives a fuck? That doesn’t
make you you. I liked you before I knew you had all
this.”
She was a little shocked when she
saw him slump his shoulders and roll his eyes at her this time. He turned and swung open the door to the
refrigerator, pulled out a can of beer and snapped it open. “Oh, come on Darcy. You like me because you’re a fucking fan.
That’s all.”
“What!!” Her ears started to ring
and she felt her face go red with anger.
She stomped over to where he was at, pissed she hadn’t worn heels that
day so she could fuck up his hard wood floors.
She got close to him and stood up on her tiptoes to get in his
face. “If I liked you because I’m your
fan why the HELL did you like me?
Huh?!” When he didn’t respond, just
looked at her a little scared, she kept on.
“If it’s soooo horrible that I’m a fan, why are you after me so damn
bad? Last time I checked my pussy wasn’t
made of platinum.”
“Whoa…”
She had the urge to spit in his
face. She didn’t know what had happen
but something had pushed her buttons, all of them, all of the wrong ones. Her anger for him at that point was high but
more so, she was pissed at herself. She
was pissed for letting herself fall for a guy that was no different from
everyone else. Her brother had been
right. She should have taken it slow and
gotten to really know him. But instead
she had fallen hard and fast and now she was getting a wake up call of who he
really was and what his real motivation for pursuing her was.
It had all been a dream. None of it had been real.
“So...so...” Her voice cracked and she backed away from
him. “Fuck you if that’s why you’re
after me because no, I’m not gonna do it!”
“I’m not after you for sex
Darcy!” He yelled back at her, now just
as angry as she was. “I lo-like you, dammit!”
She leaned back against the
counter across from him and sniffed, looking off to the side. “No, you like impressing girls with your
fucking money.” She started to laugh and
turned back to narrow her eyes at him.
“Is that why you were in therapy?”
His face fell. “Huh? Because poor Justin couldn’t handle all the
riches and fame?”
Before she could blink he was in
her face, hovering over her, growling out, “You wanna know why I was in
therapy? Do you!?”
She swallowed and stared right
back at him, not about to back down now.
Now she was getting somewhere.
Ok, so she had bitched him out, but he had deserved it and now, maybe
now she’d figure out why he was acting they way he was.
“Yes…”
“Because I was having-” He stopped
abruptly and stared at her face.
“What?”
Suddenly he cowered away. He looked frightened and about ten years
younger than normal. He stepped back and
then stared to walk away, mumbling, “Look, you’re right. I’m sorry.
I...I’ll take you home.”
She reached out and grabbed his
arm. “No you don’t. Don’t give in
now. You’re gonna talk to me.”
He stared at her for a long, long
time and for a while she didn’t know what to think. She knew she’d over reacted and she knew she
had hurt his feelings, but now she realized how stupid she had really been. She had yelled at him for no reason. She had read into his words and now she was
forcing him to tell her about his therapy.
That was private stuff, she shouldn’t have pried. And now the whole money thing was running
through her mind. Maybe he was just use
to gold diggers. Maybe he really did
like her and maybe that was the only thing that had ever worked on a girl
before for him. She doubted that was the
truth, but she could see where he was coming from and that maybe he really was
trying to impress her. Because he liked
her.
He didn’t really know her that
well and she didn’t know him, so figuring out what would impress each other was
a little bit of a lost cause.
Finally, he looked down at the
floor and moved his arm so he could touch her hand with his. She was a little shocked to feel him hold her
hand, squeezing it and then tugging at it as he lowered himself on the
floor. He pulled her down with him and
they sat beside each other on the hard floor.
After hitting his head back on one
of the wooden cabinets they were leaning against, he opened his eyes and stared
straight out in front of him. “I was
forced to go. My momma made me.”
“Oh?”
He lowered his eyes and bowed his
head. When his eyes opened, he looked
down at his lap, still holding her hand.
“I guess…I guess after Britney I just, kinda
went crazy for a couple weeks. I beat up
one of my…well, Wade. I was drinking too
much.” He turned and looked at her. He looked like he was about to say something
really, really important and she was eagerly waiting for whatever it was. “I’d…”
“What? You can tell me.”
He took a deep breath and stared
at her. “I’d have these…these dreams.”
“Nightmares?” She started to smile. She remembered when her first boyfriend broke
up with her. She had nightmares for
about a week. They were nothing serious,
but she just couldn’t get him out of her head.
He was the first guy she’d really loved and he had dumped her for
someone “better” according to him.
He took his hand away and ran them
over his head, through his short curls.
“I don’t know what you’d call them.
But they kinda took over. So I
went to therapy and talked about my life and my lifestyle and my old life and
just...everything. Dr. Baitman said I
was really making a lot of progress. And
then I met you.”
She was quiet for a moment,
thinking about what she wanted to say.
She wanted to ask and wanted an honest answer, but she didn’t want him
to get angry with her. With a deep
breath and a hope for courage, she asked softly, “Are you on the rebound
Justin?”
“No...no.” He laughed lightly. “I mean, we’ve been apart for a couple months
now. And…in fact, the day I met you I
had a date lined up that night. I was
starting to date this girl named Kelly and well, you just changed things.”
“How? I just, I don’t understand Justin…”
He cut her off. “I know you don’t. I barely do myself, ok? I just, I saw you and something changed in
me. I didn’t think I’d see you ever
again.” He paused and whispered, “In
fact, I…I thought you were a dream.”
“What? I’m not that special.” She giggled.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Thanks.” He was looking at her way too seriously so
she nudged him in the side and smiled at him, trying her best to lighten the
mood. “You’re not too bad yourself.”
“Yeah,” He managed a half
smile. “So I guess when I saw you again,
needing a ride home, I took it as a sign.
I mean, Darcy, I don’t know what’s gonna happen. But I’d really like to find out...”
Moments passed and neither of them
said anything.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
He laced his fingers through hers
again and she smiled at how warm and smooth his fingers felt against hers. His hand swallowed hers and fit perfectly
with her palm. He whispered, “Are you
ok?”
“I just…” She sighed and turned to look at him. “I really, really hate it when guys do that
Justin. I want you to like me for me,
and I wanna like you for you. This…” She
waved her free hand in the air. “It
doesn’t matter. I mean I like it, it’s
gorgeous, but it’s not you. It doesn’t
make you who you are. And to be honest,
I don’t really like it right now all bare and boring.”
“Boring!?”
She cracked a smile. “Ok, it’s not boring, but it’s so empty. It’s a house right now, not a home.”
“Well Momma and Trace will be here
tomorrow to help me get it all moved in.
You wanna come help?” He stopped
and looked at her for a moment. She was
a little shocked that he was already ready for her to meet his mother and best
friend, but realized he probably hadn’t even thought about that yet. That would be a pretty big step, but she
wouldn’t mind. “I mean, you don’t have
to, of course. But if you wanna hang out
and sort through all my belongings, come on over!”
“Sure. I’d love to.
As long as you’re best friend and momma are nice.”
“Oh yeah. They’ll love you.” He said confidently.
“Have you told them about me? Sorry...that’s a stupid question.” She felt her face turn a little red.
“No its not.” He smiled at her and pushed himself up off
the floor, extending a hand towards her.
“And yes, I have.”
“Really?” She let him pull her up and when she got to
her feet she realized how close they were.
Their fronts were almost touching and he was looking down at her
devilishly.
All he did was nod and then dipped
his head lower. She felt his lips gentle
against hers and closed her eyes. He
kissed her slowly for a moment, softly touching his tongue along her bottom lip
and then sweeping through her mouth very quickly. He pulled away and asked her in a
whisper, “You ready to make lunch?”
She could only nod her head yes.
“I’m sorry we fought
earlier.” He said with a slight frown.
She shrugged and watched him walk
away and open the fridge. “It’s my
fault. I’m a bitch.”
“No you’re just sassy. My little Sassafras.” He said in a completely southern accent,
shook his ass a little and pulled her out a beer.
“Sassafras?!” She asked and took the cold aluminum
can. She hated beer, especially cheap
beer but she wasn’t going to turn down his offer and start another argument
between them.
“Hey!’ He said with a smile. He opened the freezer on the left side of the
fridge and a cloud of cold air blew out onto his body. He reached in and pulled out a rather large
frozen pizza. “It’s what my grandma calls my momma!”
“You really are a momma’s boy
aren’t ya?”
“And proud of it. Come on.”
He smacked the ice cold and rock hard flat circle on the top of the
stove and winked at her. “I need you to
help me because I not a good cook.”
She smiled as he reached across
the counter for his opened beer can. He
chugged for a moment, set the can down and let out a loud burp. He scratched
his lower stomach and tried his best to expand it out too look like a beer
gut. “Is this better than the rich snob
thing I had going on earlier?”
“Oh God…” She couldn’t help but
let out a genuine laugh.
------
The pizza was pretty damn bad, but
she was so hungry it really didn’t matter.
She had got enough courage to ask him for a glass of water and let him
finish off the rest of her beer. They
sat outside on the patio and it was really nice. For some weird reason, clouds had overcastted
the sky and the temperature was nice and not too hot. She had slowly gulped down one piece of pizza
and started on another. The crust burned
her fingers but when she bit down on the pointy end her mouth was met with
cold, barely cooked cheese. She cringed. Hungry or not, she couldn’t bare it. He apparently didn’t know how to defrost.
She glanced over and it looked
like he was almost done with his third slice.
He grabbed up the can of beer she had given him and took three long
swallows. He sighed when he was done and
looked at her and smiled.
“Man, I love
“Yeah…”
“You want anything else?”
She looked up at him and he was
pointing over his shoulder back into the house.
He looked overly happy and she wondered how on earth he was able to eat
all that pizza that wasn’t fully cooked and feel that good. She shook her head and responded, “No I’m
good. I’m full.”
He reached for her plate in her
lap and eyed the one slice of crust left and the barely eaten other slice. “Are you one of those girls that don’t eat
anything but water and lettuce?”
“No. You saw me the other night. You saw me with the burrito and shit! I just had a big breakfast this morning.” It was a lie.
She had had nothing more than a class of orange juice. She had woken up late, saw she had two missed
calls from him and frantically called him back.
At that point it was already eleven in the morning and he said he’d be
there in thirty minutes. She had to rush
to get herself looking fine for him.
“Ok. I’ll clean this up and then we can hang out
and talk a little. Then, work time
missy.”
She looked over her shoulder and
watched as he balanced the left over pizza on a large round plate in one hand
and their empty plates in the other.
“Work?”
She glanced at his ass but lifted
her eyes when he turned and smiled at her.
“We gotta figure out that hammock stuff.”
He somehow managed to get the door
open with his hands full and slipped inside.
She watched him for a moment and then turned back around to look out at
his back yard. The sky was getting
darker and darker and if she were in
She could see why her brother
moved out there from the dreary East Coast.
Sure, some summer days were gorgeous in the north east and early fall
was lovely. But the rest could be
miserable if you couldn’t stand the cold, or the rain. It was one thing that she had yet to get use
to. Sometimes she craved for a rainy
day, where she could sleep in and drink hot tea and soup, being covered by a warm
fleece blanket. The one thing she missed
was fire places, real ones. Not the fake
ones for looks like the couple Justin had. Of course, even in
She would be back there soon. She had a little more than a month left in LA
before she moved back to the big city.
She wondered what would happen to her and Justin, well, hoping they’d
still be together. Her brother had had a
talk with her the night before. She was
still angry with him once she and Justin finally left each other and she entered
her brother’s apartment. He had
apologized and tried to explain to her his thoughts. He said that he only wanted the best for her,
and that that might be in Justin, but that he didn’t want her to put all her
hopes and heart into him, when nothing was certain. She realized he was right. He had always been right. He was the cautious one in the family. Even coming out of the closet had been
planned. He dropped hints here and
there. Dated a horrible woman so their
parents would think anyone would be better than her, even if it were a man.
She was a little bolder, and yet
at the same time incredibly shy. In her
own life, her private life, she was bold and did what she wanted, when she
wanted, not giving a damn about what someone thought of her. But she didn’t like sharing her private life
with many people. That included her
family. It was why she left without
saying goodbye when she went to college and why she didn’t consult her mom
about moving to
Her family was a cliché, a
horribly written movie-type cliché. Her
sister’s heart was given to any one with the right amount in their checking
account. Her parents were still
together, but only saw each other on special occasions and had their own
private lovers. Her brother was the only
one to go to for advice, and while he was a guy and it was great to get a male
perspective, his experience with dating someone of the opposite sex had been
nullified. And even though she had no
problem with his sexuality and never would think of his relationships as
inferior to hers, same sex relationships were different. There were different problems and different
communication barriers. She had no idea
how the male mind worked except for sex, and that was that they wanted a lot of
it. And she had no female role models to
tell her how to behave and what was appropriate.
It was why she never saw what the
big deal was with girl’s waiting. What
guy in their right mind would wait for a girl?
So she had her two week rule. The
guys who were sleazy would always dump her after a week of not getting laid,
but the guys that were ok, would stick around.
So on the second week, she’d go for it.
Lucky for her, her two week relationships had all turned into long term
relationships. Even though they had all
ended in disaster and a broken heart for her (well, except for
“I think you have a phone call.”
She looked over her shoulder to
see him coming back, swinging her little purse in the air. “What?”
He held it in front of him,
towards her, like there might have been something dead in it. “It’s beepin’ and buzzin’, unless you got a bomb in there.”
“Hmm…” She grabbed it and pulled
out her phone. She could see that he
took his seat out of the corner of her eye.
She flipped open the phone and groaned. “Oh god…”
“What?” He asked.
“It’s my mom.” She pressed a button and read the text
message that was there. “An
emergency? Wait, when did mom figure out
how to text message?” She laughed a
little.
“If it’s an emergency, go on and
answer it.” He nodded towards her.
“You sure? I don’t wanna be one of those rude people
that talk on their cell phone all the freakin’ time.”
He smiled and waved his hand at
her, grabbing his beer from where he had sat it on the small frosted glass
table that perched in between their iron rod patio chairs with cushions. “Go ahead.
We got all day together.”
She hoped he had said something
else. She didn’t really want to talk to
her mother and having him tell her that he thought it was rude would have been
good enough excuse for her to turn her phone off and ignore it for the day. An emergency probably meant there was some
sort of crisis with her sister’s wedding dress, or Jeffy
had got lost in the yard again. With a
roll of her eyes she dialed her mother’s number and brought the phone to her
ear.
“Mrs. Height
speaking.” Her mother cheerfully
answered her cell phone. She wondered
how her mother was able to use text messaging but couldn’t use caller id. She knew her mother would never answer a
phone call from her that happy.
Darcy took a deep breath and
glanced at Justin who was contently sipping his beer and looking out at a few
birds that were shifting around in the backyard. “Hey mom.”
She pulled the phone from her ear
at her mom’s exclamation. “DARCELLA! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” She had a feeling about what was going to happened, but decided to play dumb.
“I had to hear from
“Oh, well it just happened the
other day.”
“What happened? What’d did you do?”
She shook her head and laughed
sarcastically, “Thanks mom.” It was just
like her mother to be more concerned with the fact that she was single than the
fact that she might be upset, or need some consoling. The only time she had ever been consoled by
her mother was when her dog died when she was ten. Of course, the pooch was a little Shih-Tzu
that was technically her moms. And she
got over it the next day when her brother brought home a beautiful Dalmatian
with a long pure bred name that she never remembered. She just called her Dottie. She loved that dog. It loved to run in the grounds outside the house,
especially after it rained. She would
often open the back door and let the dog in with muddy paws just to get her
mother in a fit, and to get a little attention drawn to herself. Now, their dog at home was a rambunctious Bernese Mountain Dog named
“Seriously Darcy!”
“Nothing. I didn’t like him. We made each other miserable. So I moved on.”
There was a pause over the line
and she looked over at Justin who was now looking at her very intently. She wondered how loud her mother was talking
and if he could hear the whole conversation.
She wanted to move out into the yard or into the house so that he
couldn’t hear, but she didn’t want to be rude.
Of course, sitting there talking in front of him was kind of rude, but
she didn’t want her mother to bring up a question about who she was dating now,
because she knew it was coming.
“What does that mean? Moved on to what?”
“Nothing mom. Is this the huge emergency or was there
something else?”
“Who are you dating now?!”
She groaned and rubbed her forehead
with her fingers. “Mom, I’m not…well…”
“Well!?” Her mother’s voice immediately switched from
disappointed to excited. Suddenly she
became a best friend, wanting to know all the juicy details. But Darcy had a hunch that her mother
wouldn’t be too excited about this one.
“What’s his name? Do I know his
family?”
“No.”
“Where’s he from?”
She took a breath, glanced at
Justin and then said into the phone. “Uh,
“Me?!” Justin said excitedly.
She pulled the phone away from her
moth and shushed him. “Shhh…”
“Hey mom!” He said in a happy dork-like manner. He started to laugh but she didn’t find it
funny. He didn’t know her mom. Maybe in his world mother’s were happy and
laid back, but not in hers. Her mom was
up-tight and unforgiving. Her sense of
humor was pathetic and she cared more about the dead fox fur on her favorite
winter coat than she did about any of her own children.
She didn’t know what to say to him
so just opened her eyes and gritted her teeth.
“Who was that?” Her mother
asked.
“Justin…”
“Justin who?”
Darcy sighed out,
“Timberlake.”
“Hmm…” She could almost hear her mother
thinking. She was trying to figure out
if someone on her list of friends and acquaintances had the last name of
Timberlake, or knew someone with that name.
But no, Justin wasn’t a part of her mother’s crowd. He was in a different circle, a circle she
knew her mother wouldn’t approve of. “Sounds
familiar.
“Mom I gotta go.”
Her mom ignored her. “Where’d you meet him? Is he one of
“No mom!” She said, getting an attitude. She started being short with her mom and knew
that she better just hang up before a fight ensued. “Just, can we talk about this later?”
“You know honey. If you don’t call me and tell me all about
him I’ll find out.”
“Oh I’m sure you will.” She rolled her eyes.
“Well…I have to find out about my
daughter somehow! I mean, it’s not like
you tell me anything.”
She groaned and gripped her bright
green purse tightly in her hand. “Fine
mom. He’s a famous pop singer. Lives in LA.
Has tattoos etc. etc.”
“A singer?!” Her mother exclaimed in a voice that she
would consider horrible acting if used on a soap opera. But no, her mother was
serious, just extremely dramatic. She
knew her mother would be horrified that she was dating a singer or anyone in
the entertainment business for that matter.
They were bad blood, or something.
They were rebels and wild. It
almost made her laugh when her mother sat her down at sixteen and gave her a
chat about who was appropriate to date.
Charming pop stars from the south didn’t make the list.
“Yeah. Ok? I gotta go.
Bye mom.”
“Wait Darcella…”
“Buh bye.”
She was tired of the conversation
and ended the phone call quickly. She
turned her phone completely off, slipped it into her purse, snapped it closed
and moved it from her lap to the ground.
She sighed.
“You ok?”
Her head rolled towards him and he
looked genuinely concerned. His eyebrows
were furrowed and he had a frown on his face.
She smiled a little, trying to ease his mind. “Yeah…fine.”
“I hope…Well, ok…” He stumbled a little with his words and
finally took a deep breath, straightened out his jeans by resituating himself
in his seat and moved his blue eyes back up to her brown ones. “Gonna be blunt, ok?” She nodded and he continued. “Am I gonna be a problem?”
She began to smile. He cared so much. No guy had ever been concerned with what her
family would think of them. Of course,
most every guy she dated knew her family.
But Justin was nervous and really did care. It was sweet and it proved that he was
concerned and thinking about a future with her.
“No, no Justin. My mother has
ruled my love life for far too long. I
like you way too much to let her get in the way. She just, she has a very narrow view of who I
should date.”
“And I’m not in that view.” He looked down at the ground, apparently hurt
by this piece of information.
“Justin…” He looked at her and something in her
stirred. Boldness crept over her that
probably shouldn’t have that early in their relationship, but she didn’t mind
and hoped he wouldn’t either. She needed
to tell him and show him that no one else mattered. It was just them in this relationship and
that’s how she wanted it to stay. She
got up out of her chair and stepped over to his. She didn’t think what she was doing when she
sat down in his lap and latched her arms around his neck. She just did it and it felt right. “I don’t care. Did you hear what I just said?” He just stared at her, waiting for her to say
something. She felt his hands on her
thigh and her back, keeping her curled in his lap. She licked her lips and whispered, “I like
you way too much.”
She pulled him forward and pressed
her lips to his. He kissed her back
immediately and she smiled against his mouth.
It was something she could get use to, kissing him. He tasted a little like beer but she didn’t
mind. In fact, she found it a little
sexy. She found everything about him
sexy, the way his hands held her against him and the way his eyes looked at
her. She loved with way he’d talk to her
and the way his lips moved against hers.
The more they kissed, the less and
less she cared about her two week rule.
It didn’t apply to him. He was
different and she didn’t want him to stop.
But he did. He pulled away with reddened lips and a
smile. “You wanna go get that hammock? Then maybe we could take a nap in it.”
She knew what that meant. A nap was code word for lying against each
other and making out. She smiled and
kissed him once more. “That sounds
perfect.”
------------
A little later
With a heavy breath, she sighed
and smiled at the feel of his lips against her neck. She giggled when he resituated his hips
against hers, in between hers, and she felt how excited he was. Her giggling stopped when his lips move up
over her chin and back to her lips. His
teeth tugged gently on her bottom lip and he smiled. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she
gripped his back, holding him tightly against her.
They had been this way for a
while. Putting up the hammock had been
an easier task than the pizza was apparently.
They had managed to expertly hang it in the corner of his balcony
outside his bedroom. It was completely
under the alcove, in the shade for sunny days.
That day had only grown darker though, and scattered gray dots of fallen
rain covered the paved floor. It hadn’t really rained yet, but a few random
drops had fallen.
She had been the first one to test
it out. It had held her weight and then
he had sat down. They had almost fallen
out of it and laugh at each other when they attempted to stand up. But then somehow he leaned in to kiss her
very sweetly. And when she pulled away
she wanted him. She had laid down on her
back on the hammock and pulled him towards her, holding onto his hand.
He had yet to put his hands up her
shirt, but had grabbed her ass and thighs several times and kissed her mouth
furiously. She was certain she probably
had a hickie as well. But it felt so
damn good. She was happy and he seemed
to be as well, especially with his comment about how sturdy it must have been
to hold them up while they were making out.
It was a little awkward but soon they got use to hanging in the
air.
The doors to his bedroom were open
and his stereo was playing her favorite song off her favorite cd. And the best part of it all was when he’d
pull away and sing the words to Radiohead’s High and
Dry in a soft tone, “It’s the best thing that you’ve ever had. It’s the best thing that you’ve ever, ever
had.”
She ran her hands through his hair
and he pulled away from her mouth for a moment to look down at her.
“I could get use to this,” she
whispered.
“I think I already am.”
Her stomach took the moment and
ruined it by growling and making an absurd noise. He started to laugh and raised an eyebrow at
her. She could feel the heat rush to her
face.
“Sorry,” she grumbled.
“Was my cookin’ that bad?” He laughed.
She cringed and puckered her lips
quickly as he leaned down for a small smooch.
“Well, it kinda wasn’t cooked all the way.”
“Oh, is that why it tastes like
that?” He laughed. “I just thought
“No…” She giggled and let her fingers dance on his
sides. She had learned in the past five
minutes that he was extremely ticklish. It made her smile. “It’s not supposed to taste like rubber.”
“Hey!” He grabbed one of her hands and said down at
her in a cocky tone. “I’m a singer, not
a cook. It’s not one of my talents.”
“I’m not that great of a cook
either, but I can at least make a frozen pizza.”
“Then why didn’t you help me!?”
She pushed at him playfully and
laughed when he had to hang onto the ropes so he wouldn’t send them both
falling out of the hammock. “Because you
were determined to do it yourself. You
asked for my help and then got all macho nacho.”
“Nacho?” He laughed a little
shocked.
“Mmmm…”
She groaned. “I could go for some nachos.”
“You really are obsessed with
Mexican food aren’t ya?”
“Yeah…” She looked into his deep eyes and studied his
face. He really was good looking. It
wasn’t just something that his personality tricked people into thinking. And it definitely wasn’t the TV. He was genuinely sexy. He had deep eyes and a soft face, but with
manly stubble growing underneath the jaw line.
And his lips. Damn him and those
lips. They were full and red and soft,
but not too soft like a woman’s. And
they were tempting. She whimpered when
he licked his lips and said to him, “I think I’m getting obsessed with
something else too.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re lips. Mmm.” She moaned and pulled him into a long, slow
kiss.
A few minutes later, he pulled
away with a sigh and chuckled, “Well then…”
It was quiet a little bit and he
had rested his head near hers on the hammock, lying beside her with their jeans
still tangled. She turned and looked at
him. “Ya know how last night I told you
I wanted you to stay.”
“Yeah…” He closed his eyes in a
slow blink.
“What did you think about that?”
His eyes opened and he stuttered a
little, “Um…well…”
“Did you think I was talking about
sex?”
He took in a deep breath and
cautiously asked, “You weren’t?”
“No, I was. I’m just curious.” She paused and turned to look up at the sky. She started to smile and laughed a little to
herself. “Cause, I really want you
Justin. Hell, I don’t need to two weeks
to wait.”
“What do you mean?”
Her jaw locked when she realized
what she had just said. She tried to play
it off and shook her head with a smile.
It was all an act though. For
some reason she started to feel a little nervous. “Nothing.”
“No…Darcy. Hey…”
She felt his hand on her face and felt him turn her head to look at
him. She waited for him to say something
and was met with a shy smile. “I think you can tell I want you, too. You know I do. I just…”
His eyes searched hers. “I don’t
want to scare you off.”
“Why are you so terrified of
scaring me off?”
He swallowed hard and then sighed. “I just, I think I’ve found something good in
you. And I don’t wanna loose that.”
“You’re not going to.”
His eyes broke with hers and his
hand slid from her face down to his side.
“I guess another part of it is that…I’ve only slept with one person my
whole life. I’ve fooled around with
other girls but…”
“Wow…” She laughed.
“I guess I’m a slut.”
“What do you mean?”
“Five.” Her eyes rolled in a joking manner.
“Oh…”
She looked at him hard. He looked shocked, disappointed and a little terrified. Immediately, she felt horrible. Her stomach started to churn and the urge to vomit
started to bubble in her throat. He
really did think she was slut.
“Oh God, I guess I really am a
slut.”
“No you’re not.”
“What was that “oh” for then?”
“I just…” He groaned slightly and ran a hand over his
head. “I didn’t realize.”
“Is that…is that bad?” She said in a panicked voice. She knew that five was a big number in the
sex department but it wasn’t horrible.
Maybe she had been misled. She
turned to him and shook her head, trying to make him understand why she had
done what she had. She didn’t want him
to think she was dirty, or tainted and then leave her. “I mean they were all my boyfriends at the
time and I thought I loved them. I mean,
I probably should have waited longer but…But that doesn’t have anything to do
with us. I want you…”
He cut her off and seemed to have
the same worried face that she had. “But
what if…what if something happens? What
if you have to leave?”
He looked scared. There was something more than just him
thinking her a slut, if that was even the case.
He seemed lost. He looked…he
looked like he truly needed her. She
placed a hand on his arm and looked at him hard. “What are you talking about? I don’t go back to
“I just…” He sighed but then was interrupted. Not by
Darcy, but by Mother Nature.
A gust of wind seemed to howl
through the air and the next thing they both knew a steady but light rain
started to fall on the area. They were
out of the way, underneath the alcove and all, but two feet away from them was
being soaked. The initial wind seemed to
fade, so nothing was blown onto them.
They both jumped and looked out at the yard and the peacefully falling rain.
“Holy Shit!” Darcy said with an excited smile.
Justin was a little more shocked
than excited, and his voice came out a hoarse whisper. “Oh my god.”
“I haven’t seen it rain in months!
This is awesome!”
“It’s just like a dream,” he
whispered.
“Man…” She looked at him with a
smile and completely relaxed into the hammock, looking up at him. “I use to go
take walks in the rain all the time.”
He was out of breath; she guessed
he was still shocked from the sudden strange LA rain. “R-really?”
“Yeah, at night. Like, my last year in high school. My first boyfriend had just dumped me and
wow, I’d get up in the middle of the night or early morning and just go out and
make myself sick kicking around water in the yard.” She laughed at the memory, knowing he’d probably
think her insane but not really caring.
“I’d get my dog, Jeffy, out and we’d have a blast. Mom would be so pissed though. It was great.”
“You…” He was staring at her with widened eyes. “You really did that?”
“Yeah. I’m a dork.”
She rolled her eyes.
“You wanna go do it?”
“Nah. Let’s just lay here. It’s nice.”
And they did just that. They laid there together for a few quiet
moments listening to the rain and Radiohead’s cd. She made him play it on shuffle, a habit she
had, so that it would surprise her which song would come up. She was on her back and he was on his side,
his arm draped over her stomach.
“Darcy…”
She turned and looked at him. He was looking intently at the under portion
of the stucco alcove above them. His
forehead was indented and his face had a frown.
He took a deep breath and she was afraid of what he was about to
say. “I want to make love to you.” His face softened and he turned to look at
her. “But let’s not get ahead of
ourselves. Let’s just, take it one day
at a time.” He picked up her hand and
smiled at her. “I really want us to ya
know, be together, for a while…a really really…”
He stopped himself and bit his
lip, thinking of what to say. She knew he
was about to say that he wanted to be with her for a really long time. At least that’s what she hoped, but she
didn’t want to ruin his speech with her getting overly excited. He wanted to be with her. And he meant it. Other men in her life had said that to her,
but it had all been in vain. He meant
it, she knew it. She didn’t know how,
but deep down in her gut she could feel that they had a weird connection. She was so surprised this had happened to
her, yet grateful at the same time.
Finally, he continued. “I want to be with you, but I don’t want to
fuck anything up by taking things too fast.
Plus…every other relationship you’ve had…it just. It bothers me that you think of yourself as a
slut. I don’t want you to think that way with me.”
“Bu…” She stopped herself, knowing that it would be
better for her to just nod and agree with him on this instead of letting her
hormones take over. She wanted to sleep
with him terribly, but she wanted to be with him, emotionally so much more than
physically, and if that meant waiting, then she was ok with it. Perhaps it would be good, not to have to
worry about getting a bikini wax in the next week. She smiled at him and whispered, “Ok.”
He began to smile at her, but it
slowly faded, he closed his eyes almost in pain and she wondered what more he
had to say. “Shit…” His voice sounded
like it as about to crack. He sounded
like he was going to cry.
“What?”
He was staring at her, his eyes
watering. She began to freak out a
little. She didn’t have expertise with
men crying. The only time she had ever
seen a guy cry was her brother at their grandma’s funeral and Rob, boyfriend
number two, when he got a phone call telling him his aunt had died in a car
crash. His lips sucked in a shaky breath
and he let it out slowly, whispering, “It wears him out…it wears him out…”
She realized what was playing
now. “Fake Plastic Trees” had been her
first encounter with Radiohead. She didn’t even know who they were; just that
she liked the song on the Clueless
soundtrack. It wasn’t until she got to
college that she discovered all their other songs. She smiled a little, hoping he’d do the
same. “I love this song.”
“I love-”
He stopped and gulped, still
staring at her. He blinked.
“What?”
His hand cupped her face and her
leaned foreword. She thought he was
going to kiss her, but instead he pressed his forehead against hers and closed
his eyes, whispering, “Darcy…”
“What’s wrong?”
“You just gotta promise me.”
“Promise you what?”
He lifted his head and removed his
hand from her face. He buried himself
into her neck and held onto her tight, saying, “Just promise.”
She felt his arms completely encircle
her and squeeze her tightly against him.
Normally she would welcome this type of affection, but something wasn’t
right. He was upset, and she wanted to
know why. “What’s wrong Justin?”
“Don’t leave me, not again.” She felt tears on her bare neck. She felt them fall and seep into her t-shirt
and tickle and stick to the back of her neck.
His lips moved against the curve of her skin there and she heard him
whisper to the song, “She looks like the real thing. She tastes like the real thing. But fake plastic love…”
She looked down and saw his leg
had curled over her lap, pinning her down.
She felt his hands grip the material of the pink polo she had worn that
day. He was keeping her from
moving. It dawned on her what was going
on. He had been right earlier in the day
when he said he had to go to therapy because of Britney. She had really messed with his head. And now, now he was terrified of being left
again. She didn’t doubt that he was over
her. She could tell by the way he talked
about her now. He was still hurt, but
had fallen out of love with her. Which
was good.
But he was terrified of loosing
her. It explained all the promising he
made her do. It was the reason he
compared her to a dream. He didn’t think
she was real because he had been so screwed over. She took in a deep breath and rubbed his back
with one hand and ran her fingers through his short hair starting to curl with
her other.
“Don’t cry.” She whispered, trying to sooth him, “It’s
ok.”
The song faded out and it was
quiet, signaling the end of the cd. The
rain fell all around them and she yawned, feeling sleepy with his warm body
curled up to her. The wetness on her
neck started to dry and make her neck feel sticky and she could hear him
sniff. She couldn’t believe he had just
broken down her like that and cried. It
made her feel special.
She couldn’t believe it had all
happened to her the way it did, but there it was, a new relationship blossoming
before her eyes. He was going to be good
for her, she could tell. And she hoped
she would be just as good for him.
“I’m so glad I found you.” He said softly.
She looked down at his body, lying
against hers. Holding onto her and
needing her. It was one of the only
times she could remember feeling like the man she was with needed her more than
she needed him.
She smiled. “I am too.”