Saturday…
She stared at the ceiling and
contemplated getting out of bed. The
more she thought, the lazier she got.
The clock read two minutes after eleven.
She loved sleeping in. It was
perhaps one of her most favorite things.
She never got the chance when she lived at home; her mother always had
something scheduled for her bright and early.
Somehow at college, she never seemed to be able to avoid having a class
before ten. Being in
Alden had gone rock climbing or
some other ridiculous activity with a couple friends, so she had the day to
herself. She was happy about that. She didn’t need anymore lectures or talks, especially
since the two hour one after Justin had left the other afternoon had really put
her tolerance for her brother on a thin line.
What was she supposed to do? Not
be excited Justin had asked her for her number?
Her brother would say something about how he didn’t offer his number to
her and had turned down her off to hang out that night. Her brother said he was just a normal guy.
She tried to explain that Justin
wasn’t a normal guy and that Alden didn’t have any room to talk because he was
even farther from normal. They had
fought on the way to pick up Carlos, and when he nice looking, tanned man
hopped in the car he was met with silence.
She had called her brother an asshole in the middle of the bread aisle
in the grocery store, and they started to raise their voices at one
another. Carlos had put his hand up and
said “Ladies, please. This bickerin’ is
giving me a headache.”
The night had slowly eased up once
they started to cook the food and started to drink a few Coronas.
But then she had gone to see her
brother at lunch the next day, hoping, praying that Justin would be there. He wasn’t.
Her brother called her on her disappointment, and then they had another
talk about her being a stupid girl who was getting her hopes up on nothing.
Then
He wasn’t there when she woke up,
and she knew he had left and gone to play golf or shop or do whatever it was he
did when he wasn’t with her.
So the past few days were kind of
down and it didn’t help that Justin hadn’t called. She didn’t expect him to and knew he
wouldn’t, but still…dammit, her brother was right. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up. Hell,
she shouldn’t have even given him her number, because now she was going to
spend the rest of her time in LA hoping that he’d call. And he wouldn’t. And she’d be miserable.
She sighed and closed her
eyes. Damn, she could just go back to
sleep and be happy. But no, her cell phone
had to ring. She groaned and thought
about ignoring it, but then a thought crossed her mind. What if…
She shot out of bed and lunged for
her phone that was still in her purse from the night before. Her purse was plopped down by the floor. She turned the small leather bag upside down
and the contents fell to the floor. She
picked up the phone, flipped it open and…
“Dammit..” She rolled her eyes, pressed a button and
relaxed her body on the floor. “What?”
“Mornin’ sunshine.”
She groaned at his chipper
voice. He really did annoy her
sometimes. She pouted and said in a
gravely voice, “You woke me up.”
“Sorry. Will you feed my fish?”
She rolled her eyes and crawled
back over to her bed. “That’s why you
called me?”
“I forgot to this morning.”
“Ok. How’s rock climbing?” Soon she was back
underneath the covers and she smiled. It
was much better talking to her brother in the morning with her head on a
pillow. She loved her pillow.
“We just got here. I’ll probably be back in a few hours. We’re all thinking about going out tonight.”
“Cool.” She yawned.
“Gotta go. Have a good day.”
She was still yawning when she
said, “Yeah, yeah. Bye.” She pulled the phone away and pressed it
against her chin to flip it back closed.
She threw it on the other side of her bed and watched as it bounced two
feet away from her. She stared at it for
a moment thinking that she probably needed to charge it. She looked over at her charger on her
desk. Her arm reached out for it and it
was too far away.
Her arm fell to the bed like a
dead weight and she sighed.
The phone started ringing again
and she groaned, rolled over on her stomach, picked up the phone and did the
routine again. “What is it now?”
“Huh? Darcy?”
She paused. She didn’t want to believe her ears. It wasn’t her brother. It wasn’t
“Hey. It’s…” They paused and she heard him take a
big breath. “It’s Justin.”
“Justin!?” She bit her lip and squinted
her eyes, curling into a ball on the bed.
She almost wanted to suffocate herself into her pillow. Why did she have to go and scream his name
like that? God, she was pathetic.
“Yeah, remember me.” He laughed nervously over the phone. “The adorably charming young man who drove
you home the other day.”
“Yeah, yeah of course I
remember. I just...”
“Did I wake you up?” He sounded concerned.
“No, I mean, I’m still in
bed…” She flipped back over and
realized she sounded like a moron. She
kept fucking up her chances with him.
Dammit. He called her. Holy shit, he actually called her. Calm
down girl. Don’t orgasm yet. “I mean, no, you didn’t wake me up.”
His voice was amused. “You ok?”
“Yeah, yeah…so um, what’s up?” She
tried to play it off like she was carefree and everything was normal. But she knew as soon as she pulled back the
covers and started pacing in her room, nothing was normal. She paced when she was nervous, anxious,
excited, and right then she was a bundle of those feelings.
“Not much. Just got back from the gym. What are you up to today?”
“Oh ya know,
the usual…” The thought of him working out, muscles bugling, him groaning as he
benched pressed a bazillion pounds turned her on, and she couldn’t help but
think what he’d look like with his shirt off, doing arm curls and breathing
heavily. She plopped down on the edge of
her bed and stared at her reflection in the mirror above her dresser. She was sitting there wide-eyed. She was in complete shock.
“Oh ok…”
The line got silent and she
continued to stare at herself. “Yeah…”
A few awkward seconds later he
finally cleared his throat and asked, “What’s the usual?”
“Uh, sitting on
my ass, flipping channels.”
“Sounds…fun.”
She was offended by his sarcastic
voice and without thinking she stood up for herself, not even realizing that
she probably shouldn’t have gotten attitude with him. “Hey, I’m on summer break! I don’t get time to be lazy during the school
year.”
She realized that she was being a
bitch and bit her tongue. He ignored her
attitude, and she was thankful and flopped her back onto the bed.. “I hear ya. Want
some company sitting on your ass today?”
“What…”
“Ok, sorry. That sounded stupid. Just, I mean, what are you up to today? Would you wanna, ya know, hang out or
something?”
“Uh…” She couldn’t believe he had just asked to
hang out. Oh my god, he wanted to hang
out with her. She couldn’t breathe let
alone think of some sort of response.
“It’s ok if you don’t want
to.” She smiled when she heard the
disappointment in his voice. He was
laying it on thick and normally that type of behavior, guilt tripping, would
annoy her to no end. But she couldn’t
help but giggle because well, this was Justin.
“I just didn’t have much going on and figured I’d give my new friend a
call. I was gonna call you yesterday but
my momma just came back into town and well, ya know…”
“Aww.” She wondered how his mom was. She remembered seeing his mom with him at the
VMAS one time and she had cornrows. She
seemed like a pretty cool lady with a lot of southern charm. Sometimes she wished she was born in the
south instead of
“What?”
She sighed at the thought, maybe
if her and Justin became friends he could teach her
how to go mud-slingin’ and fishin’ in the creek and teach her how to line
dance. She kind of wanted to ask him if
he knew how to line dance. “Nothing.”
“So whaduya
say?”
“Sure!” She giggled and rolled out
of her bed. They were going to hang out
again. She couldn’t believe this. What was so great about her, anyway? She knew she was attractive, but she was
nothing to take a second glance at, especially when she wasn’t made over.
“Alright. What time’s good for you?”
Now. Come over here
right now.
She hadn’t been this excited about having someone come over since she
was about eight, and her parents said she could bring a friend with them on
vacation. She had asked MaryJo from school,
and it was so much fun getting to ride in the plane together and getting to
play in the snow outside their lodge in
“Whenever,” she said cheerily,
shuffling through the kitchen into the den.
“You want lunch?”
“Sure.” She sauntered over to the large tank that
took up most of the far wall of the den.
She waved to Mr. Fins, and he flipped his bright yellow tail at
her. Skip stared at her and blew bubbles
and then flashed away in a blur of bright blue.
DonnaMae just floated along. She
would have said hi to Dingle but he was hiding in the small rock cave in the
corner.
“Alright. I’ll bring us something. How ya feel about burritos?”
“Oh my god, you don’t realize...” She groaned and pulled out the small
stepstool and stepped up so she could open the top of the tank and feed her
brother’s fish. She screwed off the cap
of food and sprinkled it into the water.
“Burritos, fajitas, tacos…hell, I love Mexican, southwestern, tex-mex,
whatever. I love any spicy food that
gives you bad breath and ga-”
She gasped and almost dropped the
can of food on Mr. Fins who was sucking in the flakes near the top of the
water. She couldn’t believe she almost
started talking about gas with…with him!
She smacked her forehead and stumbled off the stool.
“Say it!” He laughed and demanded.
“No! Oh my god…”
She felt her face blush and put up the stool and food and went to go lay
down on the couch. She couldn’t believe
herself. Why was she acting like a moron
with him? She wondered how in the hell she
had had four serious boyfriends up until this point with the way she was
acting. Was she always this nuts?!
“A girl who can make fart
jokes. Man, you’re a keeper Darcy!”
“That wasn’t a joke!” She
groaned. Normally she hated bathroom
humor, but she couldn’t help herself from cracking up a little bit. He seemed so amused and genuinely surprised
on the other end.
She listened to him laugh and
curled her body into the crease of the couch.
“Maybe I don’t wanna come over if you are gonna be droppin’ bombs over
there.”
“EW!” she exclaimed.
He laughed hard for a moment and
then said in a loud voice over the phone, “You’re totally smiling over
there.” She let herself giggle a little
out loud, and soon they were both laughing at each other through the phone
line. After a while they sobered up and
he said, “I gotta get goin’ though. Unless you want me coming
over there sweaty and stanky after workin’ out all
morning. Maybe it’ll add to the
smelly atmosphere.”
“Oh. My. God.” She couldn’t believe she could feel
completely mortified and yet strangely connected with him at the same
time. The images of him sweaty, at the
gym and with his shirt off flooded her mind.
She bit her lip and tried to suppress the small moan that was ready to
come out.
“I’ll be there around twelve, alright?”
She breathed out, giggling a
little at the end. “Ok…”
“See ya soon, girl,” he said
happily.
“Bye.” She sighed with a smile and turned the phone
off. Oh God, it was going to be a fan-fucking-tastic day.
Five minutes later she was still
lying on the couch. She looked up to the
clock above the TV on the wall and gasped when she saw it was almost
The next time she looked at the
clock was when she was finished getting ready.
Her makeup was perfect, her hair air dried but with gel to make it curly
and wild. She had on her perfect fitting
Lucky Jeans and a black tight v-neck.
Yeah, she had a little cleavage going.
She knew she probably didn’t look like couch potatoin’
but hell, its not every day you just lay around with Justin Timberlake. Oh my
god, lay around…I’ve gotta stop.
She had ten minutes to spare and
ran around the place trying to straighten up a little bit. Her brother kept his place spotless, but her
room was kind of a mess. So she
straightened that and stuffed all the random shit under her bed and in the
closet. Finally, she looked around the
place and found it presentable.
She went and sat on the
couch. It was now exactly twelve. He would be there any minute. She waited.
Fifteen minutes later she sunk
down against the back of the couch and was pouting while randomly flipping
channels. She wondered if maybe he was
stuck in traffic, or if he had got better plans. Or what if he got in a wreck?
Her eyes widened. Oh no, what if he had? That would be horrible. She sat up, turned off the TV, and covered
her mouth with a horrible feeling washing over her.
The doorbell rang.
She gasped a little terrified and
then realized it was probably him. She
flicked the TV off and scurried around the couch, flipping her head upside
down, shaking out her curls a little to make them wild, and flipped her hair
back over. The next thing she knew she
was taking a deep breath with her hand on the doorknob.
“Open it,” she said to herself and
turned the knob to swing open the door.
She felt like falling into a pool of mush.
He was dressed in jeans and a
button down blue shirt with the cowboy styled pockets. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair was
perfect, along with his smile. He
carried a plastic bag in each hand. He
winked at her and said in a smooth voice, “Would you like to buy some Girl
Scout cookies?”
“Yes. I’ve never had them.”
His mouth dropped in
astonishment. “You’ve never had Girl
Scout cookies?!”
“Nope.” She shrugged, and
he looked at her like she was crazy.
“Where did you live?”
She started to laugh and moved out
of the way so he could enter. “On another planet, believe me. Come on in.”
He passed by her and she took a
deep breath. Her eyes rolled back into
her head at the scent of his cologne.
She bit her lip and opened her eyes.
She watched his broad back move underneath his shirt. Her eyes drooped lower to the seat of his
pants.
Damn…She thought,
pushing the door close and resting against it for a moment. She stared at his ass for a while and then
started to grin to herself. He was
there. She saw him set his bags down on
the edge of the counter in the kitchen.
He turned and smiled at her.
“So what’s up, chica?”
She got her act together and
walked over to him, putting her hands on her hips and smiling brightly at him.
“Not much.”
He mirrored her smile and stayed
like that a minute. Her smile faded when
his smile did the same, yet he continued to stare at her seriously. She wondered if something was wrong, but
before she had the chance to ask he looked away and started to dig around into
the plastic bag with the words “thank you” written over and over on the bag in
red.
“I didn’t know what you wanted,” he
started. “So I just got one with steak
and rice and one with chicken and beans.
Then all the other stuff is on the side.”
She slid beside him and helped
arrange the food before them. The
condiments were placed together in their little plastic cups with lids. “I’ll
take whatever.”
He held an aluminum
wrapped burrito in each hand and looked down at them first before pointing one
in her direction. “I’ll let you have the beans, fart blossom.”
She snatched it up and elbowed him
in the side. “Hey! Don’t pick on me. I
do not…” She scrunched up her nose and unwrapped her
food. “…fart.”
“Sure ya
don’t.” He laughed sarcastically and
reached across the table to the Walgreen’s bag he had. “I got you a present, too.”
“What?” She grabbed the plastic bag and pulled out
the colorful aerosol can. She frowned at
him.
He tried to keep a straight face
and reached across her to grab the salsa container. “Tropical
Breeze. I thought you might be
able to use it.”
She planted the can down on the
table. She wasn’t mad, not in the
least. In fact, she loved that he was
picking on her and smiling at her. He
looked good, he smelled good, and even though he had been there less than five
minutes, he seemed to be enjoying himself.
But she couldn’t have him making
fun of her all afternoon! She took her
hands and pushed at his shoulder a little, exclaiming, “Asshole!”
“Hey!” he yelled defensively and
reached to grab the guacamole.
“Don’t be stealing all the shit,
boy!” She was upset when she saw the little plastic containers disappearing in
front of her. She loved her burritos
loaded and wasn’t about to give up the sour cream to a pop star, even though he
was a very, very, ooo very attractive pop star.
He chuckled and pointed to the
plastic bag. “There’s thingies for you
too, dear.”
“Oh...” she said sheepishly. “Thanks.”
They made their burritos complete
in peace and soon he was staring at her again, waiting, looking like he wanted
to ask her something but not having the guts to do it. She looked around and realized they didn’t
have anything to drink. “You want
something to drink?”
“Sure. What ya
got?”
She bit her lip and held back the
girlish giggle that almost escaped when he winked at her. She contained herself and walked to the fridge,
opening up the left side of the big silver machine. Her brother had some weird need for an
industrial sized refrigerator. “Lemme see.” She peered in and started naming off what she
saw, “Gatorade, Diet Pepsi,
She looked over her shoulder and
caught him staring at her ass. At least,
that’s what she thought he was staring at.
She wasn’t bent over or anything, but his eyes defiantly weren’t on the
back of her head. He seemed to flush a
little when she looked at him and that made her feel like she was the queen of
the universe. Was Justin…attracted to
her? That would explain a lot, but…but
why?
He cleared his throat nervously
and asked, “What kind?”
“White. It’s Riesling. I
love almost all whites though.”
“Cool. From here in
She felt a little awkward telling
him the truth. She didn’t know why. It was just wine, but then again, it was her
family’s wine. “Uh,
no. It’s actually from the
His eyebrow furrowed and he cocked
his head to the side. “I thought you
were from up north?”
“I am. I just, some distant relatives of mine have a
winery and vineyard in the mountains down there, and so we get a lot of wine
for free.” She shrugged and tried to get
rid of the weird feeling bubbling inside of her. She turned back around to the fridge and asked,
“Anyway. What do you want? I also have some lemonade I made the other
day.”
“What are you gonna
have?”
“A
“I just didn’t want to be drinking
this early in the day unless you were gonna. I’ll have the same.”
She grabbed two bottles and clunked
them down on the counter where Justin was standing. Then she turned and grabbed up the bottle
opener from its respected place on the round turnable
utensil hanger in the corner beside the stove. Moments later they had their
beers in the air about to clink the bottles together.
He winked and said, “To you...”
“Me?” She passed him a funny look.
He sucked the air in between his
teeth and pulled back and to the side to check out her backside a little. “In those jeans. Damn
girl.”
She looked in his eyes for
laughter. It was there, but he was being
serious, too. He was flirting with
her. She didn’t know what to do. “What?”
He shook his head and clinked his glass against hers. “Nothing.
Cheers.”
She watched him chomp into his burrito
and almost laughed when steak and cheese and rice squeezed out the end in an
unattractive way. She giggled as he hunched
over his aluminum foil that was flattened perfectly into a square to catch the
falling food.
“What about your jeans?” She
giggled.
He looked at her, wiped his mouth
with his hand and grinned, “I look hot, don’t I?”
She ignored his arrogance and
concentrated on putting some salsa on her food. “Not too shabby.”
“How’s the burrito?”
She growled at him and reached
over his hand-made plate of food, him trying to lift the filled tortilla to his
mouth again, and tried to get the guacamole. “I wouldn’t know yet because you
stole all the thingies!”
“Hey! I told you there was more salsa and shit in
the bag!” He defended himself and she just glared and fixed her food as full as
it would go. It was so full she knew she
was going to make a mess but didn’t care.
She loved Mexican food loaded.
She didn’t even think about how silly and disgusting she would look in
front of him. It didn’t matter. Some things were just more important.
She took her first bite and moaned
as she chewed. A swig of a corona later
and she felt like she was in heaven. It
was the perfect blend. She swallowed and
turned to watch him finish taking a drink of his beer as well. He gulped it down and licked his lips asking,
“Still good?”
“Yeah.” She grabbed up the
edges of her foil and wrapped the burrito back up halfway. Her head cocked towards the den quickly and
she asked, “Wanna take this into the den and be potatoes?”
“Sure. What are we gonna
watch? I’d rather not do a soap opera
thing.” She snatched the roll of paper
towels off the holder beside the sink, forced it under her arm and sauntered
towards the den.
She glanced over her shoulder and
saw him gathering all his food and smiling after her. “My bro has a massive DVD collection.”
“Sweet.”
She placed her food down on the
coffee table and laughed at him as he came around the couch to her. He sounded like the wannabe cool white boys
at school, so she mocked him back. “Dudeee…”
“Shut it.” He glared with a smile
and they sat down and re-began their lunch.
She noticed how close they were sitting off the bat and watched him as
his eyes darted around the room, taking in the large fish tank and abstract
canvas paintings on the wall. She ate
and watched him do the same, memorizing how his jaw moved when he chewed and
how he licked his lips a lot. Before she
had thought it was just some cocky thing he did to girls to try and seduce them
or at least let them know who was in control.
But as she watched him eat, she realized it was just something he
did. He licked his fingers too and drank
his beer in slow, long swallows, taking a sip once every few minutes.
He was halfway done with his
burrito and so was she. She put hers
down and took a rest. She had a habit of
eating too fast at times. He coughed a
little and asked, “So what’s up? Do
anything fun since I saw you last?”
“Not really. Went to this boring
ass party last night,” she groaned.
“Yeah? Why was it boring?”
He took another bite.
She leaned back against the couch
and he forced the last bite of his burrito into his mouth and then turned a
little to look at her as she spoke. “It
was down near
“What about the girls?”
She reached for her drink and said
before she took a swallow, “I don’t really get along with girls my age very
well. I mean, I have friends back in
Justin nodded slowly and looked
away from her a little disappointed or hurt or something. “Ahh,
She didn’t know why he was acting
upset. “What?”
“Nothing…” he mumbled, still not
looking at her.
“No.” She reached over and grabbed
his arm. She wanted to swoon when she
felt his muscle flex underneath it involuntarily. But she contained herself when he looked at
her with a sad face. “What is it?”
“I just...” He sighed and she dropped her hand from
him. “I don’t see why you’re with the
guy if you don’t like him.”
“He’s not…too bad, I guess.” She shrugged and laughed, hoping he’d do the
same.
“That’s a pretty shitty answer,
Darcy.” But instead he got more serious and stared at her hard. She had seen that look before from her
brother. She didn’t need Justin, of all
people to be the big brother on a relationship he knew nothing about.
Her defensives came up and she
pulled away, quickly sat up and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. She shook her head and said in a bitchy tone,
“What gives you the right to take apart my love life like this? I don’t know you. You sure as hell don’t know me.”
He let out a deep breath and hung
his head low. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He looked back up at her but just shook his
head, “I’m just…never mind. Sorry.”
She looked at him for a
while. It was quiet. The only thing she heard was the sound of the
trickling of the filter in the large glass tank to her left. He was biting his lip and looking off to the
side, completely defeated. She didn’t mean
to come off that strong at him, she just didn’t know why he cared so much. He was Justin, why did it matter who she
dated? It wasn’t like they…they were
dating.
The longer she looked at him, the
more it hurt in her stomach. She
realized she was wrong to get so upset with him. Perhaps he was just looking out for her. Maybe he really did want to be friends with
her. She gulped and took a long swallow
of her beer and set it down on the coffee table beside her half eaten
food. A couple minutes had passed and
the more she sat there the more frightened she became. What if he got up and left? What if she never saw him again? Yeah, ok, he was famous and she loved his
music and he was very attractive. But
underneath all that he seemed like a nice, genuine guy. Yes, she wanted to know why the hell he was
wasting his time on her. Yes, she wondered
what he was doing sitting three feet from her on her couch. But she liked him. She liked him more than just a hot popular
musician. She liked him because of the
way he smiled at her and the sound of his voice and how even though he was cool
and smooth, he still seemed nervous and unsure of himself around her.
She liked him. And she wasn’t about to let him disappear.
“I guess…” she began and then
sighed. Their eyes met and she decided
to let her guard down and let him in. She
liked him and she wanted him to see the reasons behind why she didn’t understand
his actions and got defensive. He needed
to know all this if they were going to be true friends, like he seemed to want. “I guess I just haven’t had the best of luck
with guys. I don’t think I ever will. I’m either too high maintenance or too low maintenance.
“Really?” he breathed out heavily,
staring at her with bright eyes. He
licked his lips like he couldn’t believe she had just said that. He probably wasn’t use to girls talking about
sex with him after the third time seeing them.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized he probably wasn’t
use to talking about it...but doing it.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to be that frank I just…” She
realized this was stupid and he probably didn’t care about her pathetic relationship
problems. She put her hands on the edge
of the black leather couch and started to push herself up. “Shit, why don’t we just watch a movie?”
He grabbed her arm much like she
had done his earlier and pulled her back on the couch. His blue eyes looked into hers. His eyes were wide and she stared at him as
he said, “Why don’t we talk? I mean, we’re
friends, right? Or we’re working on
it. I wanna
know about you Darcy.”
“But why?” she asked breathlessly.
“Cause…” He paused and smiled shyly, bowing his head. “Cause
I like you.” She bit her lip and started to smile. She wanted to ask him how he meant that one
simple word. Did he mean he liked
hanging out with her? He liked her as a
friend? He liked her as someone he
wanted to sleep with? He liked her as in
he wanted to marry her? What did he mean?
And then she frowned as the
reality hit her. “You’re someone a guy can talk to, ya know?”
“Oh…yeah…”
“So…”
She cut him off and rolled her
eyes saying, “So then why aren’t you talking?”
“Huh?”
He was acting clueless and she
hated it. He couldn’t give her those
mixed signals. She was messed up as it
was and didn’t need him making things more complicated. She was a straight forward girl and hated it
when guys kept things and were secretive.
“If I’m a girl that a guy can talk to, why are you asking me all the questions? What about you and Britney, huh? Is she the reason you had to go to fucking
therapy?”
She watched his jaw lock and he
turned from her and moved his hands to his mouth to bite at his fingers. He looked upset and pissed off, and she felt
like a complete bitch. “Shit…I’m sorry. That…see, see how bitchy I
can be? You probably should get
out of my life before I become a burden.”
He looked at her, “You’re not a
burden.”
She shrugged and closed her eyes
as her head hit the back of the couch.
She was starting to get a headache. “I’m just getting really jaded with
my whole situation. It seems like
everyone is so fucking fake. I mean that’s
one reason I came to LA this summer: to get away from the fake people in
There was laughter in his voice
when he asked slowly, “You came to LA…”
She cut him off. “I know! It’s stupid but…” She looked to the side and fought the urge to
break down about all this. She wasn’t an
overly sensitive girl. She was tough,
but she got hurt just as much as everyone else.
And she felt just as alone as the rest of the world. It wasn’t a big deal and she shouldn’t have
blown up about it, but something made her open up to him that day. And she was glad that she did.
“It’s like everyone’s the same, ya know? Just, people
here have tans and blonder hair and different accents. But no one’s really...there, ya know? I guess it
just comes with my territory.”
“People at your school like that?”
She looked over and he was staring
at her intently, really, truly listening to what she had to say. It had been so long since she had someone
really care about what was on her mind that it scared her and she almost shut
down. “No, I mean a lot are. But there are some cool people that aren’t fake. I just…never
mind.”
“Hey, talk to me...” He reached over and grabbed her hand. She looked down at it, shocked. His skin felt warm and smooth against her
smaller hand, and she bit her lip and tried not to just roll over to him and
hold him when his hand clasped hers and squeezed it gently. “You look like you might cry. Get it out, girl.”
She continued to stare at his hand
against hers when she breathed out, “You ever wonder if maybe this is all just
a dream?”
“Wh-what?” His hand lessened its
grip and she looked up to see him with wide eyes and his mouth open. She didn’t know what it was she had said, but
he looked scared.
“That you’re whole life is just
one big dream, neither good or bad, and one day you’re
gonna wake up and realize you aren’t who you are.”
“Yeah…” He sighed. He looked down at the floor and pulled his
hand away to rub the back of his neck nervously. His eyes darted to hers and he whispered, “All
the time.”
“Sometimes I wish my life was a
dream.” She resituated herself and curled her legs underneath her. She played with the end of her jeans by her
ankle and tried to avoid eye contact with him.
He was dangerous and there was something there that she couldn’t figure
out yet. It was like he already had her
pegged and that terrified her.
“What do you mean?”
“Or…maybe, maybe its not that I
wish my life was a dream, but that I wasn’t real. Sometimes I wish that I was someone else’s
dream. That I was their idea of
perfection.”
It was very quiet and she looked
up to stare at Dingle in the fish tank.
His ugly brown and black spotted form floated along in the water,
looking out at her. She smiled but wondered
how it had gotten this serious between them.
They were just supposed to eat lunch and watch a movie, not get to the
bottom of her stupid petty problems.
She heard him whisper and mumble
something to himself so she turned her head and asked him what he had said. He licked his lips, closed his eyes and said slowly,
almost like it was painful for him to say it, “What if you are someone’s dream?”
She gave him a confused look. “I don’t know about that, Justin. I’ve had
four long term relationships in the past three years. Since I turned sixteen I’ve dated…hell, hundreds
of guys. There’s always been something
wrong with me. I was too honest, I wasn’t
honest enough or I acted too snobby, but I wasn’t snobby enough. Either I was too fat, or I was too
skinny. I was too blonde, too brunette. It’s stupid but this is the first time I’ve
had a natural hair color in almost ten years.”
His shy whispering voice turned
into one of anger. She watched him
transform. His eyebrows furrowed, a
scowl formed on his face and he gripped his fist so that his knuckles started
to lose their color. “But you are beautiful Darcy. Who are these assholes that you date?”
She shrugged, “I don’t even
know. I honestly never knew any of them,
the real them, besides their name and who they worked for or where they went to
school or who their parents were. That’s
pretty much all they knew about me, too.
It’s all that matters to them.”
“What?”
She was on a roll and didn’t even
hear him try to interrupt to find out more.
She kept talking. “And don’t get
me started on my family. My sister
thinks of me as her little slave. I
mean, I don’t work for her or anything, but she uses me to no end. She takes what she wants from me and leaves
me hanging without caring if I want to ask her for something back. My mom cares more about those assholes I date
than me. She thinks I’m too much of a “tom-boy”
which is stupid because I can’t play sports for shit. Then on the other hand, my dad thinks I’m too
girly. He needs a male to pass on his
name or whatever and he looks for that in me.”
“What about your
Brother?” He asked when she had taken a breath from talking.
She smiled distantly and looked at
him as he listened to her. “My brother’s
gay. It’s so fucking stupid. He’s been kicked out of our family pretty
much because of who he shares his bed with at night. I find it terribly funny that my parents care
so much about our sex lives. My sister’s
marrying this gorgeous guy, who’s as blue blooded as a snake and owns several resort
islands in the
She figured that would be it. She had gotten it off her chest and felt
better. It was nice having someone to
talk to about her feelings towards her life and family, someone other than her
family and friends.
“What about you?”
“Me?” She looked at him a little startled, not
realizing that he wanted more. She took
a deep breath and let it out saying, “Well, as long as I’m fucking someone who
goes to an Ivy League school, or whose father owns half of
“Wow…”
“Sorry.” She realized she had just talked about her
sex life in front of him, again. It wasn’t
something she was completely shy about, but she didn’t think it was appropriate
for her to tell him how many men she’d slept with up until that point. Yes, she had been spilling her heart, but something’s
a girl had to hold dear to herself. “Oh
my god, I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
She laughed and hoped sex didn’t come
back up in their conversation. She didn’t
even realize it was her own self that was bringing all this up. He was just listening and asking her a few
questions. “I’m sure you could care less about my petty family drama.”
“It’s not petty. It’s not at all. It sucks it’s like that. Like
my family is really crazy at times, but there’s a hell of a lot of love there. Even my momma and daddy, who spilt up years
ago, they still respect each other.”
“My family isn’t about respect and
love. It’s about appearance.”
He reached over and touched her
face. She felt her heartbeat quicken as
his fingers lightly touched her chin and kept her gaze. He smiled at her sweetly and said, “I’m sure your
parents love you Darcy. One thing I
learned a long long time ago was that parents aren’t
perfect. It sucks discovering that, but it’s
also kinda refreshing. I mean, I put my mom and dad on a pedestal
for the longest time until I realized they’re human beings just like me and
they make just as many mistakes.”
His hand dropped and so did her
chin. She tucked it into her neck and mumbled,
“It just sucks not really feeling like you matter or that you’re needed, ya know? And not for
looks or for money, but for all that other stuff. The important stuff that’s inside. Not the fake shit.”
“You matter Darcy.”
She turned to look at him and he
was staring at her, once again. She got
an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Something was going to happen between them, if something already hadn’t.
It was the feeling she got whenever she started to date someone she really
liked, before she realized they were assholes.
The feeling she had in her belly was the feeling she would have if he
was inches away and they were about to kiss.
But he wasn’t. He was almost at
the other end of the couch, not touching her at all. But his eyes were so intense.
She wanted to trust those eyes,
hell she felt she already did. But what
if he was like all of the other guys in her life? He couldn’t have been. None of the other guys had ever cared about
her enough to ask what she was thinking.
He scooted closer and started to whisper her name. “Dar…”
But she couldn’t have him reeling
her in any more. She needed to keep her
stance a little or she was going to fall and fall hard. “So what do you say to a comedy?
She stood up and walked quickly to
the large case of DVDs and videos beside the entertainment center under the TV. “That...that sounds great.” His voice was disappointed, but she couldn’t let
that get to her right now.
She scanned the DVDs and pulled
one out and flashed it at him with a smile. “High Fidelity. Sounds perfect right now.”
He smiled, “Jack Black is so funny
in that.”
“Yeah, so is Joan Cusack.” She put the
movie in the player and fiddled with some remotes before shuffling back to the
couch and cautiously perching herself on the edge beside him. At first she tried to concentrate on
finishing her lunch. She couldn’t have
him get to her like she had been letting him.
It didn’t matter who he was, how famous he was or what he looked like. Yes, she liked him, but she didn’t want to
scare him away with getting too emotional way too fast.
She finished her meal and they
watched the movie in peace. And when she
was done with her food she curled into herself in the corner of the couch, far
away from him. She had to be careful. He was dangerous. He was too sweet and too nice. He was just too perfect right then. And in her experience with guys there was
always a motive.
Yes, she had to be very careful or
she was going to fall.
-------
Her long hair was stuck between
her back and the couch and hurt a little when she shifted. “Owe...”
He pulled her hair out from behind
her and whispered, “Better?”
“Yeahhh…”
She rested her head back against his chest and listened to his heartbeat and
felt his chest move with every breath he took.
The movie was almost over, and they had been lying like that for more
than an hour. She had gotten up around
the time that John Cusack’s character had finished
his list of top five breakups. She had
thrown away their bottles and trash and came back to sit on the couch with
him. He had taken his shoes off and was
laying there with a smile and patting the tiny space beside him. At first she wanted to dive into him, but she
was a little scared.
Finally, after battling with herself and cautiously laid beside him. At first he was spooning her, but then her
side started to hurt so they switched positions and now she was halfway lying
on her stomach, her leg on top of his, her hand on his stomach and her head
resting on his chest. When she first
laid her head down she could hear and feel his heart rapidly beating like he
was nervous, but soon it slowed and they both relaxed into each other. They hadn’t really made a sound except the
occasional chuckle or sigh. His hands
started to thread through her hair. She
knew his fingers would get stuck. Her
hair was naturally wavy and she had let it air dry and put gel in it. But he didn’t seem to mind.
She took in a deep breath and
smiled at the smell of his cologne. “You
smell so good.”
“Yeah?”
She turned her head and looked up
at him. “Thanks for hanging with me
today.”
His smile faded and he lifted his
hands from her head and her arm which he had been slightly holding. “You kicking me out?”
“No, no…” She smiled and rested her head back down
against him. “I just, incase I forgot
later.”
“Well, ok. Thanks for letting me
hang out with you.”
It felt so very nice to be lying
with him like that. He was affectionate
but he hadn’t pushed his boundaries like most men did. She always knew that lying down and watching
a movie with a guy usually meant they wanted to try and make out with you. But he hadn’t tried to kiss her or move his
hands in inappropriate places. She was
thankful for that and at the same time a little disappointed. She hadn’t been able to really, truly concentrate
on the movie with them lying like that together. She couldn’t help but let her mind wander. She thought about what he looked like under
where her hand was laying on his chest.
She would glance up to see him bite or lick his lips and wondered what
they felt like. She wondered what it
felt like to be Justin’s girl.
Dammit, forget trying to keep her distance and guard. She had fallen.
But she wondered if he had. “Justin…”
“Yes, Darcy…”
She smiled at the way he said her
name and resituated herself against him, propping her head up in her hand and
looking down at him. “Why are you here?”
“What do you mean?”
She closed her eyes and gathered
the courage to ask what she wanted. She
was afraid it would piss him off, or scare him, or something. Now that she realized she really had feelings
for him, more so than just being a star-struck girl, she was terrified that he didn’t
feel the same way. She didn’t want her
hopes to be crushed, again. “Why are you
here with little old me? I’m not some
celebrity hottie.
To be stupid sounding, why is Justin Timberlake hanging out with little
Darcy Height?”
He looked at her dead on and didn’t
blink. “Maybe Justin Timberlake doesn’t like
the celebrity hottie type. Maybe he likes the normal hottie
type.” He began to grin lopsidedly.
“I’m not that normal.”
His hands encircled her and she
was forced to rest her head back down against him. She felt his arms around her and his hands
rubbing over her back. It felt so damn
nice that she closed her eyes and imagined that they were together, really
together. “That’s why I’m here. You’re not the normal LA babe looking for
someone famous to snag. You’re real,
with real problems and real feelings, and a real nice ass especially in these
jeans.”
She felt his hand travel lower and
squeeze her ass in her tight denim pants.
She was shocked and excited and sat up against him. “OH MY GOD!”
He looked shocked at himself and
whispered like a little boy, “Sorry…sometimes I can’t help myself.”
“You just felt me up.” She
playfully hit him.
The shock in his face fell to
worry, and he licked his dry lips and began to scoot himself so he was sitting
up a little more against the arm pillow.
“I’m sorry, I…I shouldn’t have.”
She felt him slide his legs over
the edge of the couch, and he sat up more and put his heads in his hands. She narrowed her eyes and scooted so she was
sitting right beside him. She wasn’t upset
that he had touched her, but a little confused as to why he did it. “Are you here to get laid?”
“No.” He sighed.
She pulled on his arm so that his
head wouldn’t be supported in his hands and so that he’d look at her. He did and she widened her eyes and asked him
seriously. She really needed a
straightforward answer. “Then, like I asked,
why are you here?”
“I told you earlier Darcy…” He licked his lips and stared at her
hard. He began to smile and whispered, “I
like you.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “So...that
does-” But he cut her off.
She stared at his closed eyes and
gentle face as his lips pressed into hers.
She was so shocked she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t close her eyes or kiss him back,
but instead sat there as still as a statue.
She felt his hand slide over her shoulder and grasp her neck
softly. He pulled away breathless. It hadn’t been a full-fledged kiss. It was a five second smooch and he was acting
as out of breath as if they had just had sex.
He kept his hand on her neck and
moved the other one to her knee. He
licked his lips and opened his eyes to look at her. His eyes were sparkling and heavy, and he
whispered close to her, “I really like you Darcy.” He sighed with a chuckle. “I
can’t explain it, but I do. I really do.”
She stared at him,
dumbfounded. He liked her and she didn’t
have to question what he meant by that word this time. She knew by the look in
his eyes and the nervous, half grin on his face what he meant. She began to smile back at him and her eyes
widened with excitement as she saw him lean forward for another kiss.
She closed her eyes and waited,
but he didn’t kiss her. Instead he
asked, “Is it ok if I kiss you again?” She opened her eyes and studied his
face. He had soft skin and deep
eyes. His eyebrows were shaped
perfectly. His pores were clean. She smiled at that thought. She nodded and he opened his mouth to speak
again. “Can I…”
He paused and breathed out, “really
kiss you?”
“Yeah…”
She smiled and waited. His eyes searched her face for the longest
time and soon she got so antsy, excited, tempted, waiting
for that damn kiss he was going to lay on her that she almost screamed. She didn’t understand why he was
waiting. Normally she didn’t have time
to think before the guy laid one on her, and she had never, ever had a guy ask
her if it was ok for them to do so. And
now, the one guy she wished would just lay one on her and rip her clothes off
and love her until the end of time, was dragging it out.
Shortly after, she was fed
up. She started to roll her eyes and
pulled away from him, but she couldn’t.
His hand was still on the back of her neck and soon she watched him
shake his head and say in an unbelieving voice, “Holy Shit…”
And before she could blink his
lips were clasped onto hers. She moaned involuntarily
and closed her eyes. He resituated his
lips against her and she just sat there as he kissed her. She wanted more, oh god she wanted so much
more. And he gave it to her. His hand
ran up to her thigh and gripped her. His
mouth opened against hers, and he surged his tongue into her mouth. He made some low guttural moan when their
tongues touched, and she felt herself falling.
She was falling hard.
And literately. He was pulling her
down against him on the couch. His lips
and tongue were soft against hers but purposeful, and they were determined to
make her feel good. She felt that ache
she got whenever she was turned on. It
built up immediately within her stomach.
She felt his hands all over her. They caressed her neck and moved down
her shoulders and back. She pulled away
breathless when his fingers gently ran across the skin of her lower back. Her
lips were inches from his and she felt his breath hit her face, and she was
sure he felt the same. They stared at
each other, and she didn’t know what to say or what to do.
It was exactly like every other
time she had made out with a guy for the first time, but then completely
different. He kissed her mouth furiously
and touched her wherever he could. His
lap pushed against her hip and he bent his leg up so that he push
pressure in between her legs with his thigh.
Their legs were tangled, and he had been trying his damndest
to get some friction going against their denim jeans. But at the same time he
was so careful, so cautious, almost scared.
He touched her and treated her like she was made of glass, and she liked
that.
She felt his hands gently move up
the back of her shirt. He ran his hands
up the span of her back, pushing her shirt a little up. She felt it get stuck underneath her breasts
but didn’t care. His lips started to
gently kiss hers. He’d touch his lips
against her and pull away. His finger
ran underneath the back strap of her bra and move side to side. She felt his thigh press into her a little
more and she ground herself down on him.
She thought it was funny that even
though her and
“Shit Justin…” She moaned when he moved his lips against her
cheek and then to her jaw, continuing to press his thigh into her. She felt him against her hip, and it made her
giggle at how hard he was. She was doing
that to him. To him.
“What?” He whispered.
She wanted to tell him to take
her. She wanted him to just plop her on
the floor and them go at it like crazy.
But she didn’t want to seem like a whore, so she did the most logical
thing in her opinion. She groaned “Oh
fuck…” and pushed her mouth against his, kissing him wildly. His thigh pressed harder and his hands moved
down to grip her ass tightly.
It was so good. Oh, it was so fucking good
she never wanted to stop. He tasted and
smelled and felt perfect. He was a
dream, perfect, heaven, something. She didn’t
know what he was, but he was there with her, kissing her and making her feel
wonderful.
It was incredible.
But then she gasped and pulled
away and stared down at him. He looked
at her shocked as well and they were silent.
The sound of keys jingling and
landing on a surface echoed in her ears, and soon she heard the sigh and growl
of frustration. “Darcy, turn the damn
DVD off when you’re done. Geez.”
She pulled away and shook her head
at him. “Oh no!” she whispered. She wanted to move but she couldn’t, and her
eyes widened even more when she watched her brother saunter into the den and
walk over to the DVD player. Justin and her both let their eyes travel with him as he leaned down to
press a button the player.
Then he stood up and turned
around.
His eyes darted in between her and
Justin. He stood there for a moment and didn’t
move. She couldn’t remember being more embarrassed
in her life.
“Uh, sorry…” He said in a low mumble and moved to quickly leave
the room.
“Shit.” She mouthed to Justin and hurried to push
herself off him and stood up in the small space. She looked over at her brother in the
kitchen. He was leaning against the
counter staring at her with a blank expression.
Justin stood up beside her and
looked over his shoulder to her brother and then back down at her. “I should probably go.”
This wasn’t going to happen to
her. Her brother and Carlos made out all
the time when she was around. They could
go in her room or go drive somewhere so they could be alone together. They didn’t have to stay there but he didn’t have
to leave her. She shook her head and
placed her hands on his upper arms, looking up at him and pleading. “No. Please,
stay here.”
“I really need to get goin’ Darcy. Plus…” He glanced back into the kitchen but she kept
her focus on him. She couldn’t have him
run away now. They were making so much
progress. They were getting so far. They knew each other. They liked each other. They were making out! He chuckled and whispered, “I think your
brother is about to beat me down.”
“But…”
He nodded over his shoulder and
reached down to tug on her hand a little bit.
“Come on and show me out.”
They circled around the couch and
made their way through the corner of the kitchen and turned into the hallway to
the foyer and door. As Justin pulled her
along by her hand she turned to her brother who was still staring at her. She frowned and mouthed, “I hate you.”
They got to the door and he looked
down at her with a bright but small smile.
His seemed happy and it made her tingle inside, and even though she was
extremely disappointed her brother had to come in and ruin things, she was
elated that Justin was there with her, smiling, having enjoyed their time
together.
“Thanks for letting me come over,”
he said.
She bit her lip and pushed her
weight on her other leg, looking up at him with big eyes. “Th-thanks
for coming over.”
His hand was still holding on to
hers and he swung it in the air a little and asked, “Do you want my number?”
“Yes!” She blushed at first and
then sobered herself up and said quickly, “Lemme get
a pen.” She smiled and turned on her
heel to go grab one in the kitchen by the phone. She couldn’t believe he wanted to give her
his number. He couldn’t disappear now. She could call him and find out what was
up. It wasn’t a one way street anymore, and
it was starting to really hit her that he really, truly did like her.
As she passed her brother in the
kitchen and leaned to get a pen she muttered to him, “Shut up, just shut up…” He just laughed at her as she practically
skipped against the linoleum floor.
She got back to Justin and he was
leaning against the door with his arms dangling by his side and a cocky grin on
his face. She handed him the pen and he
looked around confused for a moment. She
wondered what was the problem. Why wasn’t he giving her his number? Suddenly he laughed a little and stepped
forward to her. He whispered in a
seductive tone, “Want me to sign your breasts or something?”
“Shit I forgot.” She realized she hadn’t gotten him a piece of
paper.
Before she could go run back to
get one he had pulled his wallet form his back pocket and rummaged through it,
looking for a slip of paper. Finally, he
pulled out a George Washington. “Here...how
about on a dollar bill.”
“Are you serious?” She giggled as
he pressed it against the door and wrote his number beside George’s head with
the black pen.
He turned to her and placed the
dollar bill in her hand with a cheesy grin on his face. “There ya go…”
“Ok..” She looked up at him and he smiled down at
her. She glanced down at the number on
the bill and smiled. It was perfect,
everything was perfect right then. Well except
the fact that her brother had just ruined her chances of getting into mister I-look-good-as-fuck’s
pants.
He leaned down and she felt his
arms circle around her and squeeze her tight.
She placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his
middle lingering there for a moment. His
lips tickled her ear and he kissed her there sweetly before whispering, “Call
me, tomorrow. Hell, tonight if you want
ok?”
He pulled away and looked at her
happily. She nodded, “Ok.”
She saw him lean forward and soon
felt his lips against her. He kissed her
slowly, and she sighed against him when she felt his tongue sweep through her
mouth slowly. He pulled back and then
dipped back forward for one last small kiss.
“Bye Darcy…” he whispered. She watched him reach behind him and open the
door. She took all of him in as he
started to step out of the apartment and away from her. She took a deep breath and frowned at the
fact that his scent was getting lighter.
He was leaving.
Suddenly she had the urge to call
out to him, “Justin…” He stopped and looked
at her. She bit her lip and started to
blush for some reason unbeknown to her. She
didn’t know why, but for some reason she was really nervous about telling him. She figured he already knew, but saying the
words were different.
Finally, she got the courage to say, “I like you too.”
He started to smile so big she
giggled at him. He nodded and said “good”
and then winked at her before leaving.
When the door clicked shut she groaned and sauntered back into the kitchen
like she was drunk.
“Darcy…” Her brother said looking
through the fridge.
She put her hand up and walked
through the kitchen and to her room. “Oh
my god, don’t even start with me. I just
made out with Justin Timberlake. He told
me he liked me. I have his number. And there is NOTHING you can say to make me
feel bad.”
She slammed the door behind her
and ran to her bed and giggled, clutching the dollar to her chest. She tried to stop smiling but she couldn’t. She was just too damned happy.