February 14th, 1999 around 5:30
"Justin!!"
Justin stood up from his chair and called out his doorway at his mother. "I'll be right down."
"Brit's been waiting for 5 minutes. Come on!!"
"ALL RIGHT!!"
CurlyJay23: Listen, I really gotta go.
DMBluvr81: o
CurlyJay23: Don't "o" me. I'm sorry, but I have a date for tonight. Why don't you go and do something instead of sitting there. Go out with some of your friends or something.
DMBluvr81: All of my friends are dating someone. It's ok. The Goonies is coming on TBS tonight.
CurlyJay23: Well have fun ok? I'll talk to ya tomorrow or something.
DMBluvr81: Have fun on your date.
CurlyJay23: Will do...later.
DMBluvr81: Bye Justin.
Liz waited until she heard a doorslam sound that seemed to echo in her room. She waited around until his name disappeared from her buddy list. Maybe he was right. Maybe she should go out.
Surprisingly enough 2 people she wouldn't mind hanging out with were online. She Imed the first one.
DMBluvr81: Hey sis what's your plans for tonight?
Rockrachol9: Gotta work. Why?
DMBluvr81: Nothing, I just want something to do.
Rockrachol9: Oh, sorry chick. I gotta work til 10 tonight. I'll stop by the house then if you want me to after I get off.
DMBluvr81: Nah, just go on back to your apartment or whatever. I'll figure out something.
Rockrachol9: You ok?
DMBluvr81: fine, bye Rach
Rockrachol9: Um, ok. Bye lizzie.
She sighed and double clicked on the name "Careblair17" even though she knew Blair probably had plans.
DMBluvr81: You doing something with Preston tonight?
Careblair17: Of course :)
Elizabeth Xed out the IM and looked on her buddy list when the sound of someone coming online hit her ears. She stared at the name, contemplated Iming him, and finally gave in.
DMBluvr81: Hey Clay. You wanna come over and watch the Goonies with me tonight? We can have burping contest and try and catch popcorn in our mouths like back in tha day. What do ya say? It will be fun.
Clay4pres: I'm going out. Sorry.
DMBluvr81: Oh, with who?
Clay4pres: Lydia. Gotta go and take a shower. Bye
She was met once again with the hard slam of a door.
"Screw this." She muttered and signed off. She stood out of her chair, grabbed her soccerball off the floor and went through her doorway and down the steps.
Minutes later she was kicking the soccer ball HARD into the garage door, making it vibrate and bang each time the ball came in contact with it. Elizabeth just kept kicking it to the door then it would bounce back at her, and she would kick it back, and forth and back and forth.
She was so enthralled on kicking the black and white ball she didn't even hear her mother calling her. Finally there was a tap on her shoulder and she jumped and turned around.
"WHAT? Jesus, mom you scared me." Liz panted, clutching her chest.
"Sorry. Your father and me are going to be leaving in about 15 minutes. You sure you are going to be ok here by yourself."
Elizabeth had continued on, kicking the ball with the inside of her foot. "Mom. I'm almost 18. I've stayed at home before alone. I don't need a babysitter. Just chill."
"Ok. Well, I bet your dad will be happy to see you out here practicing and not in front of the computer all day."
"Yeah, tell him I'll go hit on the backboard up at the courts behind Clearview park for the rest of my Valentine's Day while he goes and eat up some expensive meal with you at ohh, wow, "The vineyard." Her voice was dry and sarcastic.
Liz's mother sighed and tilted her head, shaking it. "You aren't being very fair, Lizzie. He just wants the best for you."
Her foot stomped on the ball, stopping it and she looked up at her mother, angry. "Well why doesn't he show it? All he EVER does is pressure me to do this and that. He tells me everything I'm doing wrong. You know I don't think I have EVER heard him praise me. Excuse me for wanting my dad to support me but I AM his daughter. I made 10 goals this past season for our soccer team. Last year I made 0, and what does dad say? 'Well Lizzie if you weren't on the damn computer so much maybe you could have made 20 goals like Clay did.' All he does is compare me to everyone else in the world. To my sisters, to you, to the neighbors and NOW even my friends. Talk about being FAIR."
"He loves you, Lizzie. He wants you to be successful." Her mother's voice was sugary sweet and it made Liz want to throw up.
Liz swept the ball off the ground and held it under one arm her other hand, firmly holding her hip. "Psh, he loves me. You know what mom? You might see some happy little Full House or Brady Bunch family here, but I don't. In the 17 years that I have been here I can not recall ONCE when dad has told me he loved me. I can remember on my 14th birthday when he got me a new basketball goal, I hugged him and thanked him and told him I loved him and you know what he did? He said, "show me you love me by making the team this year." What? I'm sorry? I didn't know it took a freakin' ESPY award to show my dad that I love him. Why couldn't he have just said, "I love you too" or something back? I hear him all the time with Kim and Sara, hell even Rachel gets the occasional hug and "love ya sweetie" But do I? NO. What do I get? I get the "Elizabeth you aren't TRYING!" Well I've tried my whole ENTIRE Life to make him happy and what do I get return? JACK SHIT!"
Her mother's eyebrows raised and she pointed a finger at Elizabeth. "You need to watch that mouth of yours young lady. And you have no idea what your father thinks of you. Next time, try telling him you love him. See what he does."
"Sure..." She rolled her eyes, an increasingly bad habit of hers.
Her father jogged down the front steps and towards him, fiddling with the keys in his hand. "Hey, ready to go? Oh hey Liz. Oooo you're practicing. Keep it up." He gave her thumbs up sign.
"Oh definitely dad. Hey, Daddy? I love you." Her voice was very obviously sarcastic and her smile was as fake as they come.
"MMhmmm, we better go before it gets too late." He looked at his watch and then at his wife before walking over to the car and opening the car door.
She shook her head, her ponytail whipping in her face as she laughed bitterly at her parents getting in their car. "Yeah, hate for you to get stuck in TRAFFIC or something. Bye mommy dearest, daddy dearest. HAVE FUN!!"
With a finally huff, Liz stormed off the driveway and to her front steps. She barged into the house and slammed the door shut behind her.
"ARRRGGHHH!!! I am going to PUNCH something!"
Instead of punching she stormed up the steps, went in her room and slammed the door so hard it didn't latch, but bounced back open. She threw her soccer ball in the corner of the room and started pacing.
"Get yourself together Lizzie." She mumbled, curling her fingers into a fist until her knuckles were white. "Calm down, calm down." She whispered.
Finally she stopped pacing and ended up in front of her computer. She sat down with a plop and signed on AOL.
Once it connected she sighed. No one was on her buddy list and she needed to get her frustrations out with something. After scowling herself for about to do what she was she clicked on the "write email" button stared at the blank email and finally gave in.
Subj: My chocolates were stale and my roses, dead
To: CurlyJay23
Prepare yourself Justin...
I'm about to do something I never thought I would. And that is, I'm about to break my "daria" persona and become a whiny, girly 17 year old.
I don't know where you come from and I don't know your status at home. I don't know if your parents are loving, if they are happily married or divorced, and I don't know how close you are to them. But on today; Valentine's Day I've come to realize MY dad doesn't give a DAMN about ME.
My mom and me have a regular relationship. She's nice and loving but I don't want her in my business and we tend to get into it from time to time. Today I went off on her because she said that my dad loved me.
Bull Shit.
My dad loves my sister Sara who is almost 30, is happily married with a big software maker and has a 7 year old kid all ready. My dad loves Kimmie, my sis who is 25 and...well everyone loves her. It's kinda hard not to. He even loves my sister Rachel who never graduated from college and likes to go to 3 day rock festivals and wants to marry Kurt Cobain (yeah, I know. He's dead.)
And he must love my mom! They've been together for almost 30 years.
Hell, he even loves my neighbor Clay. You've heard about him...
But today, when I said "Daddy I love you" He responded by looking at his watch, then at my mom and saying "mmmmhmmm we need to go before it gets too late."
For a while there, I was just tricking myself. I thought maybe that my dad DID love me, through sports. That he pressured me SO MUCH because he wanted me to do good. But he has never said those simple 3 little words to me, ever.
It's trivial. I know. Sometimes you don't have to say "I love you" to get the message across. But I'm a very BLUNT person. I want something to be given straight to me. I don't want it to be vague or beaten around the bush.
Blair, miss popularity, miss quarterback's girlfriend, miss soccer goddess, and somehow one of my close friends gets SHOWERED with gifts on Valentines Day.
I'm not even talking from her boyfriend or any other guy in he school for that matter. I swear to you tomorrow she will call me and say "Oh my gosh Liz, my dad got me THE cutest little stuff animal or the prettiest bouquet or some GOOD Godiva chocolate."
My dad hasn't ever gotten me anything.
Yeah, he got me a car, but I think that's just because mom made him. She probably convinced him that I could use it to get to practice earlier instead of having to wait on them.
I've never been an affectionate person. When mom tries to hug me I roll my eyes and pat her back. It's just not me. I don't want to be "held" I don't like giving big hugs and I don't want to hold someone's hand...
And right now I would DIE for a long drawnout hug.
I so pathetic
Elizabeth
She usually read over her emails for spelling and stupid mistakes, but this time she just pressed "Send" right after she was done, signed off AOL and wiped her eyes with the collar of her T-shirt.
"Looks like its just going to be me and you Sloth." She muttered in reference to the movie Goonies. She slowly walked out of her room, shoulders slump, and her eyes glued to her tennis shoes.