"Oh..um...hi." Liz stuttered and leaned against the doorway to the kitchen as a means to keep her from melting into a puddle at her feet.
His voice was quiet and short. "Hi."
Moment after moment passed. The silence became and tension and both of them waited for the other one to say something first.
Finally Elizabeth stumbled, "I...I don't know what to say."
"You sound stuffy." Justin responded quickly.
"Well thanks."
"No, its just... nevermind."
"No, you're right. I've been crying...a lot."
"I'm sorry."
She rolled her eyes and pushed away from the door and walked back into her living room. "Don't be. Isn't it healthy or something. A good hard cry is good for you, or something. Stress reliever?"
"I don't know, you tell me. You're the doctor."
She smiled inwardly and relaxed down on the couch, laying across it. "Yeah...how's Hunter?"
"Fine. He's spending the night at my moms. He and his grandmother are extremely close. Ever since last Friday he's been a ball of never ending energy. So it's nice jsut to relax."
"What? Last..Last Friday?"
"Yeah, he turned 5."
"Oh...ohhh.."
"Oh what?...oh that's...thats when your dad..I'm sorry Liz. I wasn't thinking." Justin slapped his hand to his forehead and turned in his chair away from the computer and stood up.
"Please, don't be sorry. It's not your fault."
"It's not yours either."
"I know."
He walked towards his bedroom and sighed when his bare feet were cushioned and slightly warmed by the thick white carpet, a contrast to the cold hard wood floors everywhere else in his house. "Are you SURE you know that? Cause a few minutes ago I think you were blaming yourself."
"Yeah, I know that now. I know its not my fault. I just..I'm so...nevermind."
He was getting tired of her quiet, sad voice. He wanted to get to the bottom of all of her pain and expose her and make her better. "No, tell me. You're so..." Justin dragged out the word "so" trying to get her to explain and sat down on his bed at the same time.
"...lonely." She whispered.
His head hung and he said quietly. "I wish I were there..."
"why?" Liz stared at the ceiling with the phone pressed to her ear, wondering why he was so concerned about her.
"So I could show you that you aren't lonely."
"How would you show me that?"
"I'd just...I'd hold you." Justin pulled his legs up on his bed and leaned back against the pillows.
"You know how cheesy you sound, right now?"
He smiled. "Believe me, I can start belting out some Rod Stewart if you want me to."
She smiled. "Spare me."
"Good, because I don't think you could stand my singing anyway."
"Bad?"
He smiled sheepishly at no one. He knew she wouldn't like his voice, because she would recognize his singing voice right off the bat. "I can already tell you would you hate my voice."
"Well then you can save me the horror."
"I'll do that."
A few seconds past and finally she timidly asked, "Why me?"
"What do you mean, why you?"
"Why me, Randall? Why are you calling ME. Why do you waste your time on me? Why do you send me emails and come online every evening at our "time" and spend your free weekend nights talking to me, instead of getting out there, and doin like you said you wished, finding a mother for your son?"
Justin was a little taken back and he paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. "I could ask you the same thing. Why do you spend your time on a single father?"
"Because."
He chuckled. Her answer sounded so much like some his son would give him. "Wow, what an answer."
Liz smiled and mumbled. "shut up."
"hehe, come on. Really.." HE coaxed.
"I don't know. I just..."
"you feel drawn to me." Justin finished for her.
"Yeah, how did you.."
He interrupted her again. "I feel it too Lizzie. Believe me, I scolded myself time and time again for being wrapped up in this Internet chick. But..I cant stop it."
Her eyebrows furrowed and she pondered that named. "Internet chick?"
"What?"
"It's just...nothing, just reminds me of a past I'd like to forget. To be honest Randall, this..this isn't the first time I've become completely enthralled with a guy online."
"Oh, umm..really?" He literally gulped.
"Yeah...when I was 18, there was a boy that...that I fell for. God you and him are so alike. And then I met him, and all these feelings I didn't know existed boiled up in me. I was 18 year old sarcastic bitch basically and I was being turned into a sappy girly chick. And then..then I said goodbye, and he..I never heard from him again."
Justin shifted nervously on his bed and stuttered, "ev...ever?"
"Well, a few years later with I was with precious Trevor I ran into him, literally...and it was too much. I just, I couldn't deal ya know."
"Yeah, did..did you and the guy ever DO anything..or were you just like friends."
"We were just friends. And then he kissed me...and it changed everything to me. Then 3 minutes later I was walking out of his hotel room not realizing that would be basically the last time I would ever see him. Oh god, I sorry I'm just blabbing."
He sighed. He hated hearing how stupid he had been in the past. "No, no its ok. I'm..I'm sorry he hurt you."
"Well its really my fault. He already had a VERY perfect girlfriend, and I..I didn't live near him and he traveled around. It..It was just me feeling and reading in it too much."
"Ya know, things..people aren't always as perfect as they seem Elizabeth."
"I know that. Believe me I know that."
"If..if only I could make you see." He said quietly.
"what?"
Justin had a habit of mumbling things to himself, outloud. Unfortunately, Liz heard. "Oh nothing."
"NO, tell me."
He started, then hesitated, then gave in. "Just...You seem so hopeless. Like, you'll never find anyone out there ever again. Like no one could ever love you and you'll only get hurt. Well I'm not going to hurt you Lizzie. You've got me. Don't you see...you've..you've found ME."
"What are you saying?"
"God I just..I wish I were there."
"You said that. You must really wanna hug me." Liz chuckled.
"No I wanna kiss you."
Her eyes widened and she screamed into the phone. "WHAT!?!?"
Justin's eyes widened as well and he realized he had spoken his thoughts outloud again. "Oh my god, did I just say..oh shit..I'm sorry Liz. I just..oh shit."
"Such language Randall." She mocked him.
HE smiled and sighed in relief that she was joking around. "So if I were there and I kissed you what would you do?"
"Probably kiss you back."
"REALLY?" He asked eagerly.
"Shocked, much?" She said amused.
"Actually yeah."
Elizabeth relaxed back against the couch. Maybe it was the heat from the candles or her warm bare body underneath her cotton robe, but a hot feeling started surging through her veins. She sighed, closed her eyes, and asked. "What else would you do?"
"What...Elizabeth what are you getting at?" Justin shifted nervously on his bed, realizing now he was just in a wifebeater and boxers. Even though no one was around he was feeling a little awkward, especially with how breathy her voice was sounding.
"I've...It's been soo long. So damn long."
Justin's eyes closed at the sound of her voice. He had heard that type of tone a few years before. He couldn't help but let it start to effect his own body. "Lizzie..."
"What?" She whimpered.
"Let me...let me talk to you..."
"about..."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "let me tell you what I would do...if..if I were there..."
Liz's breathing quickened when she realized what he was getting at. "Wait..what..are you.."
"Yes, Elizabeth. Do you want me to?"
After a few moments her whisper came to his ears. "Please...yes."
His words were said urgently with the next phrase. "Ok, well I never done this before so ya know...if I sound like a complete moron.."
She interrupted him with a light, sexy, feminine laugh. "Just..talk to me.."
----
It was awkward in a sense. Pleasing yourself was a private matter to both of them, and yet there they were, doing the very act, with a phone pressed to their ears.
Liz knew if she found out anyone she knew had partaken in phone sex, especially with someone they had never met, the jokes would be flying. But right now she didn't give a damn. His words were a comfort she hadn't felt in a long time, and the way he spoke and the words he chose kept the potentially kinky act, beautiful and amazing to her.
She could hear him, struggling to get the words out without loosing breath.
In a way she could feel him there with her, actually doing the things he was saying to her, and not just his words and her imagination.
It was becoming too much for her, and as time past it seemed to build more and more. She could barely answer him when he asked her in a deep husky voice, "Would you like that Elizabeth?"
He seemed so familiar, and at the same time so mysterious to her. She hadn't felt this good in so long. She handn't felt this loved in so long.
Her insides were being pulled tighter and tighter into a knot, and her body was starting to move faster against her hand, and by now she could barely think or breathe. All she could do was feel and hear him.
----
Justin laid there a long time just catching his breath. He tried not to chuckle at what had just occurred. He would have never have guessed hte Liz he use to know, to do THAT. He knew it was all him, all of his words. But hearing the effect they had on her, unwound him and made him participate in the act.
He was hot and sweaty and didn't give a damn at all. The smile on his face was irreplaceable.
"Randall..."
At first he didn't answer. He wasn't use to answering to that name.
"Are you there?"
"Oh yeah..sorry. I'm a little out of it." He chuckled.
"Me too." Her voice was shy and quiet. "Thank you."
"For what."
"for...that." Her voice also had a baby sound to it.
Justin voice was full of mischief. "Why do you sound all innocent, Liz?"
"I don't know. I sound innocent?"
"Yeah.." HE laughed.
"Oh...sorry."
"No, don't be. It's cute. After ya know..you get that way. That's cute."
"Oh."
Justin closed his eyes once again and slung his arm over his eyes. He groaned. "That was...damnn..."
"Randall?"
He half moaned. "Yeah..."
A moment later she whispered. "I wanna to meet you."