October 10th, 2009
He had been in hell all day.
After a night at the hospital, no sleep, and then waiting on his wife like he was an Egyptian slave all morning, he was exhausted. He wanted one hour of sleep, that's it. Just one hour to rejuvenate him.
But she was whining that she couldn't get comfortable and that it was too hot in the house, when the thermostat was in fact on 65 degrees.
And any other time in his life he would have snapped at her and said "Mere, stop whining." But when he looked at her pout, her eyes, and especially that big round belly he couldn't help but have his heart melt, and he ended up doing whatever she wished.
Even if that meant he was wearing a turtleneck and a sweater.
"Justin..."
He was half out the door, almost going to the kitchen to get her some milk when she spoke. He stopped, bit his lip so he wouldn't groan, and turned while plastering on a smile. "Yes, angel?"
"Forget the milk. I think I'm just gonna take a nap."
The smile on his face now was one of the most genuinely happy smiles he'd ever shown. "REALLY!? I mean, ok. You just go right on asleep."
He walked over and smoothed her hair against her head with his hand and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry about last night."
He looked into her deep brown eyes and gave her a loving look. "Angel, its ok. False alarms happen this far along. It's ok baby, just a couple more days."
She closed her eyes tiredly and sank down against the elevated pillows. "Yeah..."
"I love you." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
"I love you."
He leaned over and kissed the top of her protruding belly and whispered, "And I love you."
She was smiling at him when he turned and winked and left the room.
And as he was walking down the hall he danced. If she slept, then HE could sleep, and he was never more happy in his life.
Her bedroom was on the bottom floor, the old guest bedroom, because she could barely walk up and down steps now. So he walked the short distance to the den, laid down on the couch, and turned on the TV. He put ESPN on mute and watch a few stats and scores before Shorty, who had grown into a full sized Beagle, jumped up and curled himself right beside Justin on the couch.
"Nap time, bud." Justin said quietly to the dog. Shorty obeyed and laid his head on his paws and closed his eyes.
Justin smiled, put down the remote and closed his own eyes.
That simple movement was heaven to him.
It felt amazing and before he knew it, slumber had taken over his whole body.
But then he woke up.
Shorty was walking on him and he groaned and tried to push the dog away, but it was too late. He was already awake, and then he heard...
"Jusssstinnnn."
He looked up at the ceiling and mumbled a curse word. "Comin, Mere," he said in a fake sugar-coated voice.
A groaned escaped his lips and he stumbled off the couch, walking towards the guest bedroom and yawning the whole way.
He got the door, leaned against it and looked at her. She was whining, socks in her hand and trying to bend over to get them on her feet. "What baby?"
"My feet are cold and I cant get these stupid things on because of this baby that will NEVER COME OUT!" She pouted and threw the socks down at her feet.
He laughed and walked over to her. "Shhh, I got it." He carefully put each sock on her bare feet and finally she was all giggly and happy and reaching her arms out to him.
"Come lay with me."
"Ok." He crawled up on the bed and laid beside her. He moved her on her side a little, careful to not put too much pressure on her stomach, and pulled her back against his front. His hands splayed across her stomach, rubbing gentle circles.
"You tired?"
"I'm alright." He sighed when her arms bent and reached around them to his head and she touched his hair a little, massaging his scalp.
"Close your eyes and sleep Justin. You'll need it, you never know when Gabriel Dylan Timberlake will be born."
He held her tighter and kissed her shoulder. "Ya know, I hope that's a good name."
"Why wouldn't it be?" He felt her tense in his arms at what he said. They had had the name picked out for a while. In fact they had the whole life for their son picked out, basically. Ever since they found out it was a boy, which they both wanted to know before hand, they started deciding things. Color of the baby room, which was a mixture of baby blues, light yellows and a few shades of lime green. His middle name came from her mother's maiden name "Dillon" and his first name was from the fact that he was a blessing, an angel. They liked the angel's name Gabriel and were gonna call him "Gabe."
He rubbed her belly to calm her and said, "I don't know, I mean ya know how kids pick. I just hope there's nothing in that name that's gonna cause him trouble."
She sighed and there was happiness in her voice. "He'll be fine, baby."
Justin breathed a sigh of relief. Just hearing her say that made him feel better. But his stomach still ached a little. There was so much uncertainty and so much he didn't know yet. And so much he was afraid of. "I'm nervous."
"I'm excited."
He yawned while he talked. "I'm tired."
She started giggling and nudged him a little. "I'm smart."
His lips fell to her neck, kissing her and nuzzling his face in the warmth that her skin provided. "That you are."
When he didn't stop kissing her she groaned and laughed at the same time. "Will you just close your eyes and sleep?"
"Can I get a kiss goodnight first?"
She started giggling and he moved his arms up over her belly to the part beneath her breasts and held her tightly. "Sure."
She turned her head and he maneuvered his lips down upon hers and kissed her deeply. He was gentle with her mouth, pleasing her just slightly and caressing her lips and tongue with his just for a moment. He pulled away and moaned a bit, then pecked her lips again. "Mmm, love you."
She sighed and moved her hand to his and linked their fingers together. "I know."
Sleeping beside her wasn't a challenge at all, and before he knew it he was gone.
-----
He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but he wasn't quite ready to be woken up from his nap. But the persistence in the person next to him, repeating his name was hard to ignore.
"Justin..."
He tightened his arms around her and nuzzled his head down in his pillow and mumbled, "Sweep."
She shifted in his arms. "Justin..."
He could smell the shampoo from her hair and breathed in deep. "mmm..."
"Please, Justin..." This time her voice was a little aggravated, and he was forced to open his eyes and look at her.
"What IS it?" He snapped.
"I think I'm having contractions."
His heart jumped up in his throat and then settled back down when he saw the annoyed look in her eyes. The night before they had had a false alarm, and obviously she thought this was probably another one.
He put on a smile and sighed, "Again?"
"Yes." She huffed and puffed and pushed him away from her and struggled to sit up straight.
Justin sighed and rolled over on his back. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments before he turned and saw her looking at herself in the mirror. "So I guess we are going to the hospital."
She caught his gaze through the mirror and shrugged, nonchalant. "That's what Dr. Conner said we should do."
He pushed himself off the bed, making a groaning noise like he was an old man. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, supporting her belly by putting his hands under it. His chin rested on her shoulder and he looked at her in the mirror. "How many have you had?"
"Just one, but-" Her voice cut off and she fell back against him a little. Her face looked a little shocked and her hands were touching her stomach.
He took that as a sign of another false contraction so he kissed her cheek and picked her hand up in his. "Let's go and just get Baby Gabe checked out, ok?"
"k." She nodded, looking a little nervous.
"Look at me."
She raised her eyes to him and he saw for the first time how truly frightened she was.
"Dr. Conner told us that so far our pregnancy has followed the books to a tee. Everything has come and happened right on schedule. And we technically still have a few days. It's probably nothing, baby."
"I just have this feeling."
He dipped his head to look at her eyelevel and smiled a boyish smile. "No offense, but you had a feeling last week, and the week before that, and about every week for the past 9 months."
She seemed to relax and he pulled on her arm and brought her to the den and sat her down on the couch. He moved around the house with no rush, getting his shoes on and a jacket. He got her her shoes and put them on for her, all the while trying to calm her down a bit more.
Finally, with the over-night bag in hand, his wife's hand in the other and Shorty barking at them from the house they left and got in his car.
It was about half way to the hospital when it happened. He was happy in his thoughts, thinking about the Monday Night Football game that he hoped he would be back in time to watch. If not, he'd just call Joey and have him tape it for him. The radio was playing a hot new song he was in love with and the world was ok.
And then she said it.
"J..Justin..."
He turned his face towards her but kept his eyes on the road. "Whut hot stuff?"
At first she didn't respond, and after a good pause, she took a deep breath and when she let it out she rushed the words. "I think my water just broke."
Justin looked over at her out of the corner of his eyes and when he saw the look on her face and in his mind, he knew...
"Oh god." He uttered in fright.
She waved her arms around, looking just about as frightened as him. "Ok, ok. Don't freak. I'll call Chris."
He couldn't move and he hadn't realized that his foot had pressed down like a weight on the gas petal and he was speeding towards a red light.
"JUSTIN!"
"Holy fuck!" He swore under his breath and screeched to a halt.
"Jesus! You want me to drive?!" She said to him, holding the phone to her ear.
"No, no...I can do this."
She snapped as he eased off the brake and started slowly moving with the traffic. "You better be! I'm the one with a 7 pound baby about to pop outta me!!"
He listened to her talk to Christina on the phone. Chris was the phone tree starter for this occasion. They had done a little planning a few days before, well about a month before.
They were eager parents-to-be and were scared and taking the wide-eyed approach at everything.
And right now, both of them were sitting there, with very wide eyes.
He arrived at the hospital and helped her towards the sliding doors. Moments later she was being wheeled away towards more doors and more doors and then she was taken to a room where they were gonna examine her.
When Dr. Conner came in with a bright smile on her face just a little while later they both stared at her like nervous high schoolers on the first day of school.
"You guys ready?"
"No." They said at the same time.
"Relax, both of you get your rest. You're gonna be here for a while." She winked and talked with the nurses and Justin and Meredith were left there staring at her.
Meredith, laying in her bed in a hospital gown and her hair pulled back, grabbed Justin's hand and pleaded with him. "Tell me everything will be alright."
He slid his chair even closer to her and stroked her hand in his. He forced a smile through his anxiousness and nervousness. "Everything will be alright."
"Pro-promise?" She said, her voice shaking and her face turning a little pale.
Justin took a deep breath. It wasn't like this in the movies and TV shows. The father was supposed to be passed out with nerves and she was supposed to be calm and collected; those motherly instincts kicking in.
But he found that instead, while she laid there with watery eyes, shaky hands and a nervous look on her face, he was calm, he was at peace and he knew, that in the end, everything would be alright.
He had waited for forever for this to happen, and now it was here and it seemed just as natural to him as breathing.
He picked himself off the chair and leaned over and kissed her lips gently, lingering there and hopefully taking her mind away from the situation for just a moment.
When he pulled away he kissed her nose and then her forehead, and then he rested his forehead against hers, smiled, and whispered, "I promise. It'll be perfect."
-----
October 11th...around 4:30 in the morning
It was very quiet in the dim room. Only a few sounds, breathing, a soft feminine voice humming and the sound of hospital activity outside their closed doorway.
He stretched. He had been cramped in the small hospital bed for about a hour and a half now, and his muscles weren't agreeing with his decision.
But to hell with his muscles.
He looked over and once again, like everytime he had looked over that morning, tears welled up in his eyes and he sighed. He reached a hand over and touched the back of his sleeping sons almost bald head, that was covered half by a sky blue blanket.
"He's so beautiful." Justin whispered.
Meredith's voice was just as soft as his. "I know. It's so strange. Like with you, I fell in love with you over a period of time, but with him, its just like its there, like breathing."
He resituated his body, propping his arm up by his elbow, and his head by his palm. His arm snaked around her belly, gently. "I cant believe I'm a daddy."
Her body chuckled, and he could feel it against him, through every part. Even his toes. "If I had a dime for every time..."
"Shut up." He kissed her temple.
It was quiet for awhile, but he was content watching his son mouth move in his sleep. "I..I cant believe we're parents either. I..."
She was choking up. So he squeezed her a bit beside him and kissed her cheek. "Shhh."
He felt tears on his lips and when he pulled away she was looking up at him with watery eyes, a smile, and two wet trails from tears on both her cheeks. "I just, I was so scared I would loose you, a-and him."
His fingers touched her cheek, wiping away the tears and he dipped in to kiss the tip of her nose. "I know baby, I know. He's brought us back."
"He's our little miracle." She smiled.
"Little for now. They grow so fast; with my brothers it was just amazing."
Her laughter filled his ears and he snuggled back into her, watching Gabe yawn in that precious way only babies can. "I bet he'll be taller than you."
"He'll be a momma's boy, like me."
"And you two will play basketball together all the time."
He closed his eyes and images of his son, in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years came to him and he couldn't wait for all the experiences they would share as a family. He couldn't wait to learn his sons personality and teach him things about life. Everything seemed so new and wonderful and perfect.
"And he'll have lots of hot girlfriends."
Meredith looked at him and he grinned slyly. "No..."
"Yes he will."
"Then next time we will have a girl."
"No girls." He playfully said in her ear.
"Why not!?"
"Because I'll be way too overprotective."
"That'd be sweet." She cooed, like a dove. She looked tired and worn out. She had been in labor for a while, and he was shocked by the whole process. He had seen births on TLC, and with his brothers he was kept out of the room, but up close and right there almost made him faint. He'd always respected women, but now he wanted to worship them for going through that.
"No!"
"You don't want a little me?" She pouted.
"Well if you put it that way..."
He tickled her sides but she told him to stop since Gabe was in her arms. He needed to touch her, or kiss her, or do something so that he could show her how much he loved her. He started kissing her neck lightly and the sighs that hit his ears told him that she loved him back.
"Hey..." He looked up and smiled. Christina and JC were peeking their heads in the room. Justin motioned for them to come on in and they did and walked to the bed and smiled down at the little family.
"Hey, your parents just called and said they'd be here in about 2 hours." Chris said to Meredith.
"Yeah, and your mom and Paul went home but they said they'd be back once they got rejuvenated."
Justin chuckled at what JC had said. Gabirel had been born at about quarter to one in the morning. "He's a night man."
"He's not a man yet." Meredith warned.
"My little man."
There was a knock and Christopher and the other female Kris spilled into the room. "Well come on in..."
"Wow." Chris said. He looked like he had just woken up, which was probably true. But he was still marveling over Gabe. Everyone was.
Kris's mouth dropped and she shuffled to the bed and leaned over it. "Awe, he's so small."
"Really? Wow, I thought he was huge." Justin said sarcastically.
"Be nice." His wife nudged him.
"I just talked to Joey. He said congrats and that they'd come in when the sun comes up. Brianna will wanna come too. And Lance was dead asleep but he said congrats too and that as soon as him and Leslie get back from the Caymans that you would have visitors." Chris said, looking at the new family cheerfully.
Meredith snuggled the baby closer to her. "See there, Gabe, you're already popular."
"You guys wanna hold him?" Justin offered.
"We can?!" They all said in unison. Meredith busted out laughing and Gabe made a quiet little baby noise in response.
"You guys are acting like you've never seen a baby before." She said, handing over their child to Kris.
Justin took this opportunity to completely wrap his arms around Meredith. He held her close, kissed her, whispered how much he loved her and then nuzzled her neck while their friends ooed and awed over their baby.
He couldn't find anything to describe what he was experiencing or what he was feeling. Everything was so perfect and wonderful and right. And he was so thankful and blessed that it had happened to him.
It was the same feeling he felt earlier that morning when Gabe had grabbed a hold of his index finger with is tiny hand and smiled. His first smile.
It was the same feeling he felt when the doctor hand him over his son right after he had been born, and then when he handed him over to Meredith.
It was the feeling he felt when he married her and kissed her and made love to her.
It was his life now.
And he had never been so happy...ever.
He was in heaven.