Chapter 25
As soon as the doors opened,
Meredith stumbled upward and slowly walked out of the elevator. She wanted to run, she wanted more than
anything just to run away. But her legs
would barely move. She shuffled to the
lobby and headed to the doors. There
were two people talking at the front desk but she didn't even realize they were
there.
"Hey
Girlie!! How was the trip? I haven't seen you in FOREVER!" Dre called out to
her. She kept walking to the door and he
looked at the secretary he was talking to and then back at Meredith,
strangely. She opened the door and
walked out. A slight
Meanwhile....
Dre watched as Justin sprinted through the lobby. He heard JC's and
Lance's voice call out.
"STOP HIM!"
Dre knew it was something to do with Meredith. From the tears he saw on both their
faces. So, he did what he was told. He quickly walked to where Justin was at the
door and grabbed his shoulders.
"Slow down,
cowboy."
"LET ME GO DRE!" He screamed, causing the secretary to widen
her eyes in shock. Just then, JC and
Lance went up and helped Dre, who was actually
struggling to keep Justin still. Chris,
Joey and Johnny weren't far behind.
After a few more tries Justin went
lax and sank against the wall holding his head in his hands.
"What's going on?" Dre asked them,
keeping a careful eye on Justin.
"Did Meredith go through
here?" JC asked.
"Yeah, she just walked
outside about 5 minutes ago. Why?" Dre asked still clueless.
JC jogged out the door.
Chris looked at Justin and looked
at everyone else. They were just
standing there. Johnny explained to Dre what he knew, as Joey and Lance talked to themselves trying to figure this out. Yet Justin was sitting
there, all alone with no one. So, Chris
nominated himself to make him not so lonely.
Chris and Justin had always been extremely close. They shared all the same interests. Though the whole group considered each other
brothers, Chris and Justin were truly the closest of friends.
"It'll work out J, it'll work
out." Chris said calmly as he sat
down beside him.
Justin looked up and rubbed his
hands all over his face. "No, I
feel it in my heart, Chris. She doesn't
want me back."
Chris put an arm around Justin and
Justin leaned his crying face on Chris's shoulder. At any other time, they would have been
picked on and scolded for this movement.
But not know, this was too serious.
This WAS serious. Because everyone at that moment knew that if
things didn't work out between Justin and Meredith, that Meredith might leave
her job and
"Justin, she might not want
you back, but she needs you back. She
can't just throw you away that easily.
She loves you way too much."
"No, she HATES me. Did you see the way she treated me and acted
towards me? She hates me." Justin
sniffled.
"She acts that way, but we
all know Meredith. She'll put on a front
if she is scared. And THAT'S what she
is. I bet you ANYTHING she is
terrified. Did you see her eyes
Justin? Did you? They weren't mad or angry. They were hurt and upset. If she hated you she wouldn't be upset or
hurt. She LOVES you and THATS why she is so upset." Chris took a deep breath and continued.
"Now, I don't really know
what happened that night, but I know you.
And I know you can do some stupid things. This is kinda like deja vu, from this summer when we went to the beach. But this is way more serious. I also know that you love her. and.."
Justin pushed Chris away and shook
his head. "Oh god Chris, if you only knew how much I
love her. If
you ONLY knew. I cant...I...I'm
speechless." Justin let out a quick
sob and then his rage built up. He
screamed at the ceiling.
"DAMN ME TO HELL! JUST DAMN ME, OHH GODDD..." He covered his face in his hands.
Everyone was really shocked at
Justin's outburst, he was acting like she had
died. They didn't realize that in a
sense, she had.
"Justin what happened that
night?" Johnny asked after he had
calmed down a bit.
"JC and Meredith went dancing
and I was left with a group of people, everyone else started dancing and then
Kim came up to me and I asked her to dance.
I mean it was just a dance, you know?
I've been over her for like 8 months now. Anyway, so a slow song comes on, and we just
continued to dance. I saw Joey and
Meredith dancing. Oh gosh, I remember
how cute she looked, dancing with you."
He pointed to Joey and let the back of his head hit the wall as he sorta smiled.
"You guys were going all out.
You were twirling and dipping her, and I wanted to be you so bad, but I
knew I would get a chance to, later.
Sorry, didn't mean to.."
"It's OK J, just keep
going." Lance calmly smiled.
"So, Kim had a glass of wine
in her hand, and she brought it up to take a sip, and somehow, I really don't
know, she kinda tripped and the wine landed all over
me. Kim said that
Justin let out a painful sigh and
continued. "Then I heard the sound
of a door open and I turned around and there she was. Kim. Only in her underwear.
She had come out of the bathroom.
I didn't know WHAT the hell was going on, and the next thing I knew she
was kissing me. I pushed her away and
she got all "I miss you" type.
I was really confused by it all, so I sat down on her bed and then as
soon as I did that she was on top of me.
I pushed her away several times, but she was much stronger than I
thought and pulled me down with her.
Finally I got away from her and got out of there as soon as I
could. I..I
didn't want to tell Meredith and her get all upset, so
I was just going to wait. I just was
going to wait a few days until we got back.
I was going to tell her I swear.
I was going to right after they aired the statement on TRL, but she
never showed. She never...."
Justin couldn't finish. Chris stood up and offered Justin his
hands. "Why don't I take you home
Justin?" Justin looked up and reluctantly
gave Chris his hands.
------
All this time, JC had been outside
with Meredith. He had walked around the
building to find her just sitting there.
He walked up to her and sat down beside her. They didn't speak for a good while. She finally rested her head on his shoulder
and he wrapped an arm around her.
"Why did I have to fall for
him, Josh, why?"
"Fate,
maybe?"
"Fate can go to hell."
"You don't mean that."
"I don't know what to do now,
JC. I'm lost."
"There isn't anything you
HAVE to do Meredith."
She pulled away and looked at him.
"Yes there is. I have school here, well kinda. I'm surprised they haven't kicked me out,
because I'm ALWAYS away and asking for assignments ahead of time. I have a job, which, I don't know if you guys
know this, but I LOVE my job. I LOVE
IT. It's THE best job in the world. I get paid very well. And I get to hang out
with the people I care about. Even if it weren't you guys I would love it. Do you KNOW how much fun it is?" She managed a sort smile.
JC chuckled. "No cant say
that I do. You LIKE doing our paper
work."
"Shut up. That's not important. JC, I have a life here in
"Why don't you hear his
side?"
"Because it
doesn't matter."
"Meredith..."
"JC you haven't seen the
pictures."
"So, you know how those
things can be blurry and stuff. You KNOW
how tabloids are."
"You want to see the
pictures?"
"You have them?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah they
are in my car. I was going to send them
to Justin with a note saying it was over, but this happened before I had a
chance."
"G..."
Meredith stood up. "I'll just
go get my keys and we can look at them."
"Mere..."
"The funny thing is, is that
he just made a statement saying that we were together, at least I think. I never watched it. Isn't that funny."
Meredith forced a laugh and turned to walk back to the building and kept
rambling on, and forcing laughter.
"MEREDITH!" JC jumped up after her and turned her
around. She was now shaking instead on
laughing and her eyes were shut tight, even though the tears fell from her
eyes. She clung to him as his arms went
around him.
"What am I going to
do?" She whispered into his
shoulder as she sobbed. She started
getting tired and he somehow noticed and picked her up. She straddled the front of him and clung to
him, as if she was a toddler and JC was her daddy.
"You want me to drive you
home?"
"Yeah." She dragged out.
"OK. I'll take your car and
I'll have someone else bring me back here OK?"
"OK." She whispered again.
"Do you think you can go
inside, he might still be there."
"I'll just close my
eyes." She sounded like a
child. She felt like one. But she didn't care. It felt very good to have someone to hold on
to. She had been SO alone the past few
days and just to have someone hold her, was what she
needed.
JC lifted her higher onto his
torso, as she clung to him tighter. She
closed her eyes, and pretended to be asleep.
JC got to the glass doors. HE looked inside, and saw everyone standing
around talking as Justin paced back and forth.
As soon as he opened the front door, everyone looked up at them in
shock. Before anyone had time to do
anything else, JC brought a finger to his lips as to shush them and slightly
nodded to the "sleeping" girl on his shoulder. Justin, walked up to them, and JC wasn't sure
what to do, so he just stood there as Justin eyed her. The room was silent.
Justin spoke calmly, and lovingly,
and scared all at the same time. "You're not sleeping. I watch you sleep all the time. I KNOW when
you are sleeping. Your breathing isn't
as loud and, and...nevermind." Justin eyed her and let a single tear fall
from his stained but dry cheeks. She
slowly lifted her head, and looked at JC.
"I'll go get my keys
myself. I'll be back in a few
moments." She lowered herself down,
so that she was standing on the floor.
"You sure you don't want me
to go with you?" JC eyed Justin who
was now staring at her.
"I'll be fine." She turned and slowly walked down the hallway
to the elevators, running a hand through her hair as she took it from the
sloppy bun it was in.
Justin pleaded with JC to believe
him, and surprisingly JC did. JC thought
Meredith was his sister, basically. But
he had known Justin for too long to know that he would NEVER pull something
like this. He still wanted to see the
pictures. Everyone did.
"I'll ask Meredith if I can
show you the pictures once I see them, OK?" JC said quietly to Justin as Meredith neared
them down the hallway. She got to JC and
handed him her keys, she now had sunglasses over her red eyes.
"Johnny, you don't mind if
I-"
"Go ahead,
call me if you can't make it tomorrow."
Johnny smiled at her and she nodded.
She walked on out the door, not looking back. JC pushed the door opened and looked back at
everyone standing there. He finally
turned to Justin.
"We will fix this. It might take a while, but we will fix
this. I swear on my life." With that he followed Meredith to her
car. He unlocked the doors and they both
got in. She picked up a brown envelope
and JC stopped her.
"Let's look at them when we
get back to your place."
"K." She whispered and set the pictures back
down. He cranked the engine and left the
parking lot. The ride was silent. JC concentrated on driving, and Meredith
stared out the window.
The drive ended and JC looked over
at Meredith. She was practically glued
to the window. But he did see the one,
lone, fat tear, silently fall down her already soaked cheeks.
------------------------
3 weeks later
Meredith was BEAMING. She was SO excited. She clicked the keyless entry button to her
car and smiled as the front lights flashed, as an indicator that the car had
unlocked. She hopped in the car and
smiled as she pressed a button and the hood flew back. Her hand put the keys in the ignition and she
groaned as the soft purr of the engine started. She pushed a CD into her car
and put her sunglasses over her eyes as the sounds of Limp Bizkits
"Take a look around (Theme to MI:2)" came on.
She put the CD player on pause and picked up her bright red Nokia phone
and pressed 4 for speed dial. She waited
for about 5 rings and the answering machine picked up as she drove on to the
Orlando Freeway, wind blowing through her newly colored hair.
"Hi, this is Josh. I cant get to the
phone right, now but if you-"
"Hello?" JC picked up before the answering machine
finished.
“JC?"
"Yeah,
Meredith?"
"Hey boy
WHATS UP!" She said in a weird voice.
"You are in a good
mood."
"No, I am in a FANTASTIC MOOD" The voice
continued on.
JC was confused by why she was
acting this way. "Why?"
"Can I come over and show
you?"
"Right
now?"
"YEAH. I'm already in my
car." She was acting a little
snobby.
"OK. I guess its fine. But umm, EVERYONE is over here." He said straining the word 'everyone'.
"So?"
"So I mean...Justin...is over
here." He whispered Justin's name.
"JOSH! Oh my GAWD.
That was so, like forever ago.
I'm over him. DONE!
FINISHED! So can I come over?"
JC was so confused now. She was acting VERY strange. "Yeah, I guess."
"OK. Be waiting outside. I'll be there in 15 minutes."
"We are outside playing
Basketball anyway."
"Perfect. CHIAO!"
"Uhh, yeah, bye." Then JC realized that she had cut the phone
off before he even got in the last word.
It was weird. REAL
weird.
Meredith had come to work
everyday, after the day her and Justin broke up. She stayed busy and every now and then went
out to eat with a few of the guys but never Justin.
Justin hardly spent anytime at the
WEG building. If there were a meeting he
would always arrive late and leave early.
He hadn't done much with anyone in the past weeks. Everyone knew that he was depressed. His face was pale and his eyes were always
red. He had bags under his eyes and not
ONE person had seen him laugh or smile in the last few weeks. He was taking this REALLY hard.
Meredith was taking it, unusually
well. She never once seemed down or
anything. And she was actually CIVIL
towards Justin. If they were in a
meeting, she didn't mind asking him a question, but he would usually mumble
answers. But, it wasn't like she was the
same old person. She had changed. Ever since that day, everyone had noticed
that she was slowly becoming more and more, materialistic, fake, and kinda bitchy. JC and
Chris had both commented on how she was wearing more make-up and become a lot
flirtier.
But then again, everyone
understood what was going on.
JC, had taken Meredith home that afternoon and seen the
pictures of Justin and Kim. He took them
and showed them to everyone, including Justin.
Justin had calmed down significantly and explained each picture and what
was going on in each of them. Everyone
believed Justin, because they knew how hard Justin was taking this, and they
knew that he would NEVER do anything like this, especially to Meredith.
But no matter what anyone said,
Meredith kept her belief in that Justin had cheated on her. She was being stubborn and probably wouldn't
have changed her mind if Kim herself had told her what had REALLY
happened.
JC and the rest of the Nsyncers, Dani, Leslie, and a
"friend" of JC's, Whitney were all over at
his house. The guys were playing
basketball, except for Joey who had recruited to talking on his cell phone with
a girl he met at a club a few nights ago.
So there were all the guys, and their girls. Except Justin. Justin no longer had a girl.
"THAT'S MY BABY!" Leslie yelled when Lance actually made a
basket.
"Man, even I'm
impressed!" Chris smirked, slapping
hands with his teammate.
"Lucky shot." JC mumbled, passing the ball to Justin, his
teammate. Justin caught the ball and
began dribbling, but stopped when they heard a slight rumble.
"What's that
noise?" Dani
asked, getting up from her chair and walking towards the front of the house
where the noise was coming from. She
rounded the corner and screamed. All the
rest of the gang dropped what they were doing and ran after her. They rounded the corner and saw a NICE Arctic
Silver, Porsche Boxster driving up, JC's long and winding driveway.
"No way that's her
car!" Whitney exclaimed. She hadn't met Meredith but had heard a lot
about her. JC had already told everyone
that she was coming. Justin wanted to leave, but JC made him stay and finish
the game.
"No, that's NOT her car. She has an Acura." Chris said slowly.
The car vanished
behind a hill and soon reemerged, closer to the house. The music was
BLARING. Lance noticed the song being a silverchair
fan, along with Meredith. It was silverchairs "I'm a freak". The car came to a skidding halt about a foot
from the rear of Justin's Blue BMW Roadster.
His eyes widened at the sight.
Then his mouth dropped as she opened the door to the car and stepped out. Everyone was doing the same thing: Looking
her up and down.
She shut the car door and they
just stared as she swayed her hips provocatively towards the group.
There getting out of a BRAND NEW
Porsche was Meredith. She was wearing 3
inch black heels, tight black stretch pants that hugged and accented every
curve. Her shirt was a men's white,
button up long sleeve dress shirt, that had one button buttoned right in the
middle of her chest and the ends of the shirt were tied in a knot right under
that button. The ends of the shirt, hung
over her exposed stomach. The sleeves
were rolled up to right above her elbows.
Her lips were coated in a dark, yet shiny lipstick that made her lips
shimmer and stand out. She had
sunglasses over her eyes and her hair was highlighted with auburn, blonde, and
other shades of brown. It was heavily
layered, which wasn't anything new, but she looked VERY different. She looked like....
She looked like a new version of
Kim.
"Sup yall." She purred throwing her keys in the air and
catching them with the same hand. She
took her sunglasses off and perched them on top of her head showing her dark
eye shadow.
“When did you get that
car?" Dani
exclaimed.
"Yesterday." She smiled
flirtatiously at all the guys.
"When did you get your hair
highlighted?" Lance asked nervously.
"This
morning." She flipped it off her shoulder. "So, what do yall
think?"
"It's..cool." JC forced a smile.
"KILLER CAR
G!" Chris yelled running to the car, more
interested in that than in the "New" Meredith that stood in front of
them.
"Damn girl." Joey breathed checking her out and heading to
the car. As he walked behind her he
turned around and starred at her some more.
He raised his eyes to the rest of the people, in front of her and
mouthed 'Oh my god.'
"Hi, I'm Meredith. Who are you?" Meredith said in that weird voice.
Whitney looked at JC then at
Meredith. "I'm Whitney." Meredith just nodded.
Justin took in a sharp
breath. Seeing her like this was too
much. It wasn't her sexy outfit or new
car. But it was the way she was acting. It was like everything that she WASNT, she
had turned into. Everything that he
loved about her for NOT being, she was.
He just sat back in disgust. He
had become depressed, but his sadness was turning into anger with each passing
day.
-How DARE she come here after the
hell she's been putting me through. How DARE she. What a bitch.-
"Justin, check this out. She's got a 10 disk Boze
changer in this puppy. She's definitely
got your milk." Chris yelled from
the driver's side of her car. Meredith
giggled flirtatiously at Chris who was beeping the horn. Dani noticed.
She and Meredith had become VERY
good friends and she didn't like this change.
Meredith was always friendly with the guys, but never flirty. Especially with CHRIS. HER Chris
Justin pushed himself off of the
brick wall/barrier he was leaning on and walked over to her car. Staring her down, evilly on
his way. Meredith looked at him
and smiled a smug smile. He looked up at
the sky and shook his head, continuing his walk to her car.
"Damnnnn,
what's wrong with him?" Meredith
said rolling her eyes.
"Maybe he is a little upset
that he got dumped 3 weeks ago for NO reason." Dani said turning
around and walking into the house slamming the door behind her.
Meredith sucked air quickly
through her teeth and JC thought for a moment she was going to snap her finger
at her. "What's HER problem?"
"What's HER PROBLEM? What's YOUR problem?" Leslie retorted
putting her hands on her hips and looking at Meredith strangely.
"UGH! Is it NATIONAL PMS day? What's up with all the bitchy
attitudes?" Meredith gave a
snobbish look and waved Leslie away with the back of her hand and turned
around.
She was met face to face with
Justin.
"No, I don't think its
National PMS day.
But YOU sure as hell have the BITCHY ATTITUDE part down. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
Justin yelled accusatoringly to her.
Meredith's snobbish look dropped
and her eyes return to the way they were 3 weeks ago. Hurt
and Upset.
If this whole charade was the
pre-show, everyone hated to see was the next act would bring. Everyone around them stared at each
other. Something was about to
happen. They all could sense it.
Justin and Meredith stood 2 feet
apart, killing each other with their stares.
"What the hell do you THINK
I'm doing Justin? I'm DOING EXACTLY what
you want me to do."
"How in any way is acting
like a snobby bitch and dressing like a slut what I want?" Justin glared at her.
Meredith's face was now only sorrowfilled and nothing else. Her head bowed. "It's how Kim
acted."
Justin couldn't believe he was
hearing this. "First of all, WHEN will you realize that I didn't do
anything with her.
I was TRYING to push her away.
Everyone else believes it, why cant you?
SECOND, you are the one that broke up with me."
Meredith looked up and shook her
head. "WAIT A MINUTE HERE! Why are you mad? I'm the one that is supposed to be mad. I'm the one who got cheated on."
"I DIDNT
CHEAT ON YOU!!!" A crowd had formed around them. Chris and Joey had returned from her car and
stood beside Lance, who was holding on to Leslie's hand. Whitney was just looking at JC, expecting him
to explain. He had told her about their
breakup but not much detail. JC just
stared at the two fighting. Danielle had
heard the commotion and walked outside, only to stop dead in her tracks when
she saw what was happening.
"There are
pictures." Meredith voice was
quiet.
Justin looked at her trembling
chin and knew she was breaking. His
voice softened a bit. "Will you look at the pictures again? Dammit, cant you see how my eyes are open while she's she's...ugh. I'm
trying to push her away. CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT? Or are you too far up in your own little
world that you don't give a damn about the truth. I never knew you were this stubborn."
As his voice
changed to more accusatory, Meredith got very defensive. "Don't you see that no matter what you say or do I
won't believe you.
You lied, you cheated, and now you are going to have to pay."
Justin pointed to her and yelled.
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!!
You don't believe me. Which means you don't trust me. You never did. And THAT'S the problem. I trusted you with my LIFE. I still do.
And I will till I am under ground, DEAD.
You know why? DO YOU KNOW WHY
MEREDITH?" When she didn't move or
answer, he grabbed the sides of her face, cupping her cheeks and forcing her to
look at him.
"BECAUSE I
LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY..." His voice soften and
a tear dropped from his eye. "...everything. You are what I need. I'm dead right now without you. Some one might as well shoot me, because I'm
more useful dead than alive."
A tear fell from Meredith's own
eye and she whispered. "Don't say that."
Justin dropped his hands and crossed
his arms over his chest. "WHY? It's
not like you give a damn. You HATE
me. YOU HATE ME! If you LOVED me you would be in my arms right
now, instead of standing there looking lost.
IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE BELIEVED ME! I can't BELIEVE I actually fell for someone
who didn't love me. I guess I'm just an
idiot because it's happened to me about A HUNDRED times now. I thought you were different, Meredith. I thought you were THE one. I guess I was wrong." He turned around and began walking away but
Meredith voice stopped him.
More like Meredith's scream.
"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!"
HE turned and narrowed his eyes at
her. "What?"
"How DARE you accuse me for
not loving you. How DARE you say that I
hate you. How
DARE you write off our relationship like that. Our relationship has been the MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN MY LIFE. I've spent the last 10
months DEDICATED to you JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.
Ever since that day in the bus right after....ugh, KIM...decided to tell
you that SHE CHEATED ON YOU, I KNEW you were the one for me. HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M NOT THE ONE!!!!!!!"
The silence only made the
realization hit harder. Justin's angry
and hurt eyes disappeared and ones of hope filled them. Meredith looked down at his feet and she
figured out, finally, what had happened.
She had been wrong.
She realized that she should have
believed him. She realized that she did
all along, but her good 'ol brain had been working
for her instead of her heart. She
realized that SHE was the one. She
realized that HE was the one. She
realized that she was SO ashamed of herself at that very moment, she was afraid
to even be near him. She was afraid she
might hurt him again.
She had put him through SO much
pain. If only she would have let him
explain. If only she knew how much he
DID love her. She finally realized
that. That he really did love her. All her life she had been waiting for him. For her perfect prince to
come carry her away. And when he
came, she didn't believe it. She thought
it was a dream.
She realized this wasn't a
dream. This was her life. THIS was reality.
Yet how in the world was she
supposed to let him hold her and tell her he loved her after ALL the pain he
had been living the past few weeks. While he had actually shown his hurt, SHE
had bottled it up inside and even convinced herself she was OK. She was good at doing that, bottling things
inside.
All the emotions of the past 3
weeks hit her like a brick. All the
pain, hurt, suffering, disappointment, loneliness, and longing, hit her and she
lost control.
Yet she just stood there.
Justin's gray sneakers slowly
stepped forward. His navy running pants
made a noise as his two legs brushed against each other. His plain white shirt
got closer to her. And his beautiful lips and perfect teeth were for the first
time in weeks, smiling. Memories rushed
her when their eyes connected. How many
times had she looked in those eyes and gotten lost? So many. She could she her
self reflected in his eyes, and it scared her to see that she was crying,
HARD. It scared her EVEN more when she
saw her soul, and his... together in his eyes.
He brought a hand up and gently
brushed away her tears that were heavy with mascara with his fingertips. She closed her eyes as the touch of him made
her weak.
Then he spoke one word, one word
that made her heartbreak.
"Angel..." He smiled and whispered.
All hell broke lose in her brain
and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. His eyebrow connected in thought as his head
tilted to the side at her confused expression.
She trembled and looked back into
those wonderful eyes. "I'm
sorry."
And with that she ran past him and
jumped into her car, starting the engine and backing out. It took Justin a while to realize what had
happened but as soon as he did, he had jumped into his car and sped off after
her.
It looked like James Bond or
Mission Impossible was taking place. Two luxurious convertibles casing down a winding road. Actually it kinda
looked like that scene out of Bye Bye Bye. Yet, this time,
it was the GUY chasing after the girl.
Justin was right on her tail and
as JC's driveway neared the road he was very close to
hitting her, as she had to stop and wait for a car to pass. He was going to try something, anything, but
Meredith had skidding out onto the road, spinning a tire in the process.
Justin followed her all the way to
the
She got a plan. She put on the breaks and slowed down to 20
mph in a 40mph zone. Her cell phone was
ringing but she ignored it. As Justin
tailed her only a few feet away from her rear, she quickly changed gears and
sped to a nice 60 mph, in seconds. She
was glad she had this car, with her other, Justin and her
would be talking right about now. The light in front of her turned yellow and
she pressed down the accelerator as far as it could go and flew under the light
RIGHT before it turned RED, never looking in her rear-view mirror.
She made a sharp right turn and
took a back route to her apartment building.
After 2 more minutes she arrived at her home. Justin, thankfully had not followed her, but
she had some bad feeling. Some weird gut feeling that something bad, awful had happen. But she didn't know what.
She thought it was probably her
shame sinking in. She didn't want Justin
to have her. He was too precious and
good for her. She had hurt him in the
worst way and now, all she wanted to do was to sulk in her misery.
She opened her apartment door and
went straight to the TV. She unplugged
it. Next was the CD player and
radio. Then finally
her phones. Even her computer was
shut off. Anything that could possibly
be used as a communicator was turned off.
She walked into the kitchen and
grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
Her heels were kicked off and she walked barefoot out onto her
balcony. She untied the knot in her shirt
and let it cover her stomach. She pulled the chair closer to her and shook her
head at the ash tray and cigarette ashes that were lying on the floor of the
balcony.
She had sworn to herself when she
was little and watched her grandpa die of heart failure, that she would NEVER
smoke. He had been a heavy smoker. Yet in the past few weeks she had bought her
first lighter and her first pack of cigarettes, first SEVERAL packs, to calm
her nerves. She was disgusted with herself.
She sat down in the chair and
propped her feet up on the railing of her balcony. She opened the bottle and took a long, needed
gulp of the water.
She stayed out there for
hours. Listening to the music of the
At one point she heard ambulance
sirens that were faint but clear. At the
noise, her gut got that weird feeling again.
And again she wrote it off as her shame.
Little did she know,
that that yellow light she barely made through had turned red and Justin had
not stopped for it.