Chapter 18

 

Justin and Meredith held each other for a while.  He didn't know what had happen.  But something had triggered her memory of Dan.  Something or someone.  He just hoped it wasn't him and their little fight they had the day before.

 

"Meredith?"

 

"Yeah.."  She whispered.

 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

 

"No."

 

"OK.  Do you want to take a shower, it will make you feel better."  Justin looked down at her face that was studying his.  She simply nodded and he smiled, glad she had finally stopped crying.

 

Justin stood up and picked Meredith up at the same time.  She was standing on her feet but leaning on him heavily.

 

"Are you sure you can walk?"

 

"Yeah, I can make it."  She softly said.

 

They got to the bathroom and Meredith slumped down on to the toilet seat in a daze.  Justin rolled the shower door over and adjusted the water to a nice warm temperature.  He turned and looked at her.  She was staring at him, he knew a question was on her mind.

 

"What?"

 

"Will..will you...ummm.."  She stuttered but for some reason he knew what she was asking.

 

He smiled and stood her up on her feet. "Of course."

 

Justin untied the drawstring to her sweatpants and loosened him.  He pulled them down and she stepped out of them herself, but still in a daze.  Justin removed his shirt and wifebeater and kicked off his shoes and socks.  He remembered something and walked the short distance to the sink.

 

Justin opened a drawer and took out 2 orange bottles.  He filled a glass beside the sink with water and took out the amount of dosage she would need.  He turned and handed her the glass and the pills.  She took them without arguing and handed him back the glass.  He sat it on the sink and immediately removed his belt and followed with his pants, leaving both of them only in their underwear.

 

He looked at her again and she was staring off into space.  Justin took Meredith's hands and stepped into the shower.  He pulled her in with him and closed the shower door behind him.  He stood her under the water and watched as she closed her eyes at the feel of the warm water falling on her.  Once her whole body was wet he took her shampoo and squirted a reasonable amount in his hand.  Justin scrubbed the shampoo into her hair and massaged her head with his fingers as she moved her head to allow him to reach all the places.  When he was done she tilted her head back and let the water remove all the shampoo.  Justin did the same thing with the conditioner.

 

After he was done with that he took the white shower puff hanging on the showerhead and removed it.  As he squeezed some body wash on the puff he looked at her with a smile and she returned it. He was happy; her medicine was starting to work.

 

"I'm sorry."  She said.

 

"Don't be."  He simply stated and brought the puff to her shoulder.

 

"My doctor told me 3 weeks ago I could stop the medicine.  I hadn't had any since then.  I was doing fine, Justin.  I was doing just fine. And then yesterday, I don't know what happened."

 

"Was it something I said in the kitchen, before you left?"  Justin asked cautiously brushing the puff over her stomach.

 

"NO, no.  I went into the kitchen to get those drinks and I saw a post-it note on the fridge that said "Call Brit."  Now I know you wouldn't cheat on me, but for some reason I started thinking of what if, you know?  What if you were?  What would I do?  I would go crazy. So when you came in there I was not thinking straight and I exploded."

 

"Oh.  What does this have to do with Dan?  I saw all the pictures."  Justin said quietly.

 

"Well, I was driving home and feeling like a complete idiot for going off on you.  I was about to call you. And my cell phone rang...."  Meredith eyes drifted from Justin's attentive face to his collar.  She couldn't look at him anymore.

 

"Who was it?"

 

No answer.

 

"Meredith..Who was it?" 

 

"Dan's mom."

 

"Ohhhhh.  What did she say?"

 

"She was just wondering how I was doing.  She got the number from my parents and decided to call me.  I never told you, but, umm, she was like a second mom to me.  I would always talk to her about boys.  Mom was such a dork about it and my sister always picked on me.  And Dan, well, Dan was a boy so I didn't want to talk to him.  She really gave me some good advice.  Anyway, she was just calling to say hello.  And it really touched me and hurt me and I don't know.  It was the first time I had talked to her since the funeral really and it just reminded me too much of him, I guess.  So I kinda went crazy.  It was just one of those days when I wanted to break stuff, as Fred Durst says."

 

Meredith let out a sigh and finally looked back up at Justin who was giving her a comforting smile.  She smiled back and leaned her forehead against his chest.  He wrapped his arms around her back and moved the puff along her back at the same time.  But then she jumped.

 

"OWWWW."  She yelped, tears forming in her eyes.

 

"What is it?"  Justin asked eagerly.

 

"The soap.  It stings."  She brought her wrist up in the air and Justin finally noticed the huge scrapes and cut on her arms.  He had been so caught up in her face that he hadn't noticed how beat up her body was.  Justin brought her wrist up to his lips and kissed the long scrape feathery.

 

"Hurt anywhere else?"  He smiled like a little boy.  Meredith didn't realized what he was insinuating and actually answered him.

 

"My eyes hurt like hell.  From the crying I guess." 

 

Justin brought his face close to hers and whispered, "Close your eyes, then."  She obliged and he placed gentle kisses on both of her eyelids.  He pulled away and noticed a long scrap on her neck.

 

"There's a scrape on your neck."  Justin brushed his soft lips across her neck and she titled her head to the side in ecstasy.  She loved it when he would kiss her there.

 

Justin moved his lips up her neck and sucked on her jawbone a bit, causing her to lightly moan in pleasure.  His lips brushed her cheek and he whispered on her skin.

 

"Anywhere else?"

 

She turned her head towards him and they were centimeters apart.  She grinned and looked deep into his playfully, yet loving eyes.

 

"I think I bit my tongue."

 

Justin chuckled slightly and brought his face closer to hers, his lips rested barely on hers and he spoke, "Is that so...."  Before any more was said the two were wrapped in each other's arms with their lips locked together and kissing passionately.  Too passionately.  Meredith's back was pressed against the shower wall and by Justin's body, was actually pinned a few inches off the ground.  He groaned against her mouth exploring it like it was his first time doing so; even though he had done it many times before.  Her hands rested on his biceps as she devoured his mouth. 

 

Justin pulled away. 

 

He shook his head slightly and looked at her.  "If we continue, I'm not going to be able to stop."

 

"I understand.  I think it's the water.  Makes it more romantic."  Meredith smiled sheepishly and Justin returned the smile, happy that she was back to a little bit of normal. 

 

She stepped back into his arms and wrapped her own around his torso.  She pressed her wet body to his and sighed a happy sigh before closing her eyes.

 

"The titans won yesterday."  She reminded him.

 

"Oh yeah, I guess you just completed the bet, huh?"

 

"Nah, I wasn't in that bikini.  And besides, I like taking showers with you."

 

"That's what I like to hear." He said holding her tighter.

 

After about 5 minutes of holding each other Justin cleared his throat and spoke.

 

"It's official.  I'm a human prune."  Meredith giggled and reached her hand out and shut off the water.

 

"I'm tired."

 

"I can imagine.  Let's go to bed."  Justin said pulling back to look at her, but still keeping his arms around her.  She nodded and they both stepped out of the shower. 

 

They wrapped each other in towels and Justin thought for a moment.

 

"Umm, hehe.  Now I have wet boxers.  Just great."

 

"Don't worry, I think I have a pair of yours here that I sleep in."  Meredith walked over to her dresser and opened a drawer.  She threw him a pair of his plaid boxers and he walked into the bathroom to change.  Meredith quickly changed into dry underwear and an extremely oversized T-shirt.  As she pulled back the covers to the bed Justin appeared behind her and kissed her temple gently.  She climbed into bed and he followed her.  They pulled the covers around them and snuggled close to one another.

 

"Meredith, I don't want you to ever doubt that I love you.  OK?  That's what this ring is for."  He brought her hand up and locked it with his revealing the promise ring she hadn't removed since he put it there.

 

"I know Justin. I love you too.  I always have, and always will."  Justin smiled and scooted even closer to her.

 

"How have you always loved me?  You've haven't even known me for a year."

 

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean.  Don't be a smart ass."

 

"Ohhh, using the bad words."  Justin chided.

 

"SHUT UP."  She said annoyed

 

He reassured her. "I love you."

 

"You better."  She placed her head on his shoulder and rested a hand on his chest.  He didn't say anything more because soon they were both peacefully sleeping.

 

--------------------------

Meredith awoke to the sound of clinging metal.  She scrunched up her face in a yawn, stretch, and bit of confusion.  She relaxed back into the bed, inhaled and sighed happily.  But realized a smell tickling her nose.  The smell of bacon filled her senses and her mouth immediately began to water.  She hadn't had anything to eat the day before and was starving.  She sat up in her bed and swung her feet over the side and stood.  She shivered at the difference from the warm sheets to the cool air.  Turning around, she noticed the bed was empty.  Justin was gone.  She just shrugged and followed the noise and smell.

 

Once Meredith was out of bed she slowly walked to the hallway and towards the kitchen, yawning, stretching, and dragging her feet in the process.  She was still half-asleep when she entered her kitchen but immediately was wide-awake when she saw him.

 

He was hunched over a frying pan scrambling eggs with a cooking mitt on one hand and a spatula in the other. His hair was contained in a black bandanna and an apron was tied around his waist.  Meredith leaned against the doorway of the kitchen and smiled at him.  When he began to sing a song that he and Meredith use to rock on the second leg of the tour, Meredith almost bursts into laughter, but she was able to contain herself.

 

"Who let the dogs out?  Who Who who...."

 

Meredith smiled so brightly and bit her lip in happy memories.  The Baha Men opened up for Nsync on their tour and they both loved singing the song to annoy the other band and crew members.

 

She quietly made her way right behind him and snickered.

 

"Who let the dogs out? Who who who" Justin quietly sang, moving his hips and bouncing his head in the process.

 

"I did."  Meredith wrapped her arms around his torso and rested her cheek on his back.  He jumped slightly and giggled.

 

"Man that song is old." He kept moving his hips to the music in his head.

 

Meredith giggled and poked his sides. "But who was the one singing it?" 

 

"Shut up.  I'm making you breakfast, so you better be nice." He warned her.

 

She looked around him, to see what all he was cooking. "MMMMM, wow.  Eggs, bacon, grits.  Yumm!  Thanks sweetie."  Meredith let go of him and went to the fridge to get something to drink.

 

"Orange juice or milk?" she said opening the fridge.

 

Justin flexed one arm. "Milk.  Does a body good."

 

"You're such a dork."  She shook her head and got out their drinks and walked to get some glasses from a cabinet.

 

"No, actually I'm tha bomb."  HE said with slang.

 

Meredith looked at him expressionless for a while and shook her head.  "Did you just say 'I'm tha bomb'?"  He simply smiled and she groaned as she poured their drinks.

 

"Thank you Justin for taking me back to the early nineties.  Next thing I know you will be singing "Whoop there it is."

 

Justin laughed loudly as he put half the scrambled eggs on one plate and half of them on the other. 

 

"Oh my gosh, that IS the oldest song."  He chuckled. "I use to listen to it on the Mouse Club."

 

"M-I-C-" She sang.

 

"No."

 

"K-E-Y"

 

"STOP!"

 

"M-O-U-S-EEEEEE" Justin grunted and rolled his eyes at her.  She ignored him and helped him set the table. Soon they were both quietly, enjoying their breakfast.

 

"Justin, I'm impressed.  This is a far cry from your regular gourmet breakfast of Apple Jacks."

 

"Yeah, well eggs and bacon aren't that hard to make.  This is actually the second batch of grits.  The first were a bit runny." 

 

Meredith took a sip of her orange juice. "I didn't even know you knew what a frying pan looked like."

 

HE smirked and winked at her from the other side of the table. "Well, I have a few secrets and tricks up my sleeve." 

 

"Oh really?" She asked mocked astonished.

 

HE smiled like a 2-year-old. "Yup." 

 

After a few minutes of silent eating Meredith spoke up. "Umm, did Leslie leave?"

 

Justin swallowed his food. "Yeah, she left a note that said she left last night when she found us sleeping."

 

"Oh." She watched Justin as he bit into a piece of bacon. "Do you think she will say anything?"

 

"I don't know.  Probably." He shrugged.

 

Meredith thought for a moment. "Umm, I hope she doesn't tell the guys.  They will probably think I am a freak."

 

"No, they wont. They already think you are a freak."  She glared and he stuck out his tongue.

 

"They would be concerned. That's all" 

 

"Justin, they don't even know about Dan."  She sighed and popped a piece a bacon in her mouth.

 

"Well, maybe I shouldn't ask this, but...have you ever thought about telling them?  I mean, maybe not the whole story, but at least letting them know you had a very close friend, that ummm, killed himself."  He cursed himself for being so blunt, but saw she didn't care.

 

She propped her elbow up on the table and put her chin in her hand. "I don't know..."

 

"I'm not saying you should.  I'm just wondering if you have ever thought about it."

 

"I've thought about it.  Especially JC, but I just....hmmmm.."  She thought some more.

 

"Well, if you ever need to-" Justin was interrupted by the phone ringing.

 

Meredith got up and went to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

 

"Meredith?  Umm, hi.  It's JC."  She leaned against the counter and smiled.

 

"Hey Joshy, whatsup?"

 

"Well, not much."  HE sounded a little down.

 

Her brow connected in confusion. "OK."

 

"So...."  HE dragged out.

 

"So what?"

 

He sighed. "I'm just going to say it.  Leslie told us what happened.  Are you OK?"

 

"Yeah, I'm fine.  I'm OK, JC."  She said like nothing happened.

 

His voice was full of concern. "Are you sure?"

 

"Yes, JC.  I'm fine.  Don't worry about me.  Justin is here.  I'm fine.  OK?"  She was a little annoyed.

 

"Well, all of us guys were pretty worried when Leslie told us.  Hey, Les wants to talk to you."

 

"Um, k."

 

Leslie's voice filled her ears. "Hey Mere.  You OK?"

 

"Yeah.  Where are you at?"  Meredith was wondering why Leslie and JC were together and why she heard talking in the background.

 

"Oh, everyone is here at Lance's."

 

"OK. Cool."

 

"I hope you aren't mad that I told them.  I was just really concerned.  I was so scared last night Meredith. I didn't know what was going on."

 

"No, its fine.  I understand completely."

 

"Good.  How's Juju?"

 

Meredith laughed when she heard the name he hated so much, more than Timberfake. "Juju is stuffing his face with some scrambled eggs."  He immediately stopped eating.  A forkful of egg was about 1 inch from his open mouth and his eyes glared at her.

 

"HE made you cook!?"  Leslie shouted.

 

Meredith started subconsciously talking with her hands. "Oh heaven's no.  I woke up and there he was, Mr. Chef-boy-ar-dee."

 

Leslie cringed. "Is it edible?"

 

"Actually yeah."  She giggled.

 

"Hey, Lance, wants to talk to Justin for a sec, k?"

 

"Sure." Meredith walked over to the table and handed him the phone.  "It's for you."

 

"Yo?" Justin said after taking a gulp of his milk.

 

Meredith looked at him and giggled.  "Early nineties, again."

 

"HUSH!" He pointed a finger at her and she kissed the tip of it, causing him to smile that sexy half-crooked smile.  Meredith immediately blushed.

 

Lance said snobbishly over the phone. "Fine then, sor-ry."

 

"No, I was talking to Mere. Hey, Lance."  Justin giggled, as Meredith threw a piece of bacon at him.

 

"Hey.  Umm, is everything OK?  Leslie was worried.  She was very shooken up by it.  We all are kinda in the dark here."  Lance said sincerely.

 

Justin spoke a little too quickly. "Everything is fine." 

 

"I mean, is anything going on with Meredith that we need to know about?  Is she OK?"

 

"Yeah, nothing is wrong with her.  She's perfect."  Meredith raised an eyebrow at Justin and mouthed, 'Good doggie'.  She reached over the table to pat his head but he ducked out of the way.

 

"OK.  We just don't want to see G all upset and everything."  Lance said.

 

Meredith listened and ate as Justin kept telling Lance everything was OK.  She felt guilty.  She felt like she needed to at least explain something to her friends. 

 

She reached over the table and grabbed the phone; leaving Justin a little peeved.  She ignored him.

 

"Lance?"  She spoke.

 

Lance was a little taken back by hearing her voice and stuttered. "Uh, hey Meredith."

 

"Will you and the rest of the guys come over this afternoon.  I think I need to explain some things to you."

 

"Sure."  He smiled.

 

Justin grabbed the phone and she reached for it, but he held it out of reach.

 

"Are you sure you want to do this?"  He asked her full of concern.

 

"Yeah, I do."  Meredith voice was small and quiet, but still firm.

 

Justin looked around, remembering the pictures that still were scattered everywhere in her living room. Leslie had cleaned up the glass and small blood stains, but left the pictures, not knowing what to do with them. "Your house is still a bit messy."

 

"Then can we go to your house?"  Meredith asked.

 

"Are you sure?" Justin asked again.

 

Meredith looked him straight in the eyes and sighed. "Yeah, it's the least they deserve."

 

"OK." Justin brought the phone to his ear.

 

"Lance, we are all going to meet at my house this afternoon around 4, OK?"

 

"Sure thing."  Lance said.

 

"All right, thanks man."

 

"Bye."  Justin hung up the cordless phone and placed it on the table.

 

He eyed Meredith carefully as she finished eating.  This kinda annoyed her.

 

"What?"  She said loudly, dropping her fork in her now empty plate.

 

"Nothing.  I just worry about you."  Justin grabbed her hand that was lying cross the table and let their fingers mingle.

 

"I'm sorry.  I wish you wouldn't."  He got out of his chair and came to her side of the table, not letting go of her hand.

 

"Hey, I'm your boyfriend. What do you expect?  Me not to care?"  She stood up and looked into his eyes, getting lost in their deep color.

 

"Yeah..." She breathed.  Justin leaned in for a kiss and she pulled away.

 

"Boy, let me brush my teeth.  I might scare you away."  She laughed and walked away from him to her room.  His hand was still locked with hers and as she got further away their hands were forced apart.  When her fingertips left his touch he whined and stomped to the sink to put away their dishes.  She giggled and turned around to walk to her room.

 

-I am the luckiest girl in the universe. -

 

----------------------

 

"J?"  Meredith asked from the edge of her seat, on the plush chair in Justin's bedroom.

 

Justin called from the shower. "Humm?" 

 

"What if I can't do this?"  She said quietly.

 

"Speak up.  I can't hear you."  He wrapped a towel around himself walked into the bedroom.

 

"What if I can't do this?"  She looked up at him scared and wide-eyed.

 

"Angel, you don't have to.  But I know you can."  He held onto the towel tighter, as she got up and walked towards him.

 

"I'm scared."  She whispered and leaned her cheek on his exposed and wet chest.

 

"I'll be there, holding your hand."  He placed a long, sweet kiss on her forehead, as she wrapped her arms around his bare stomach.

 

He secured the towel and wrapped his muscular arms around her small frame.  "I'll ALWAYS be there." 

 

Justin swayed back and forth, humming in her ear.  She pulled back some, and he lifted his head to look down at her.  Their eyes bore into each other.  Justin leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her pouty lips.  He slowly deepened it, and let his tongue gradually make its way to her mouth.  Meredith touched his tongue with hers and gently pulled away.  Away from his arms and lips.  Justin looked at her in confusion and a bit of hurt.

 

"Get dressed."  She gave a sly grin and walked out of his room.  He looked down and saw his towel barely hanging on to him.  His eyes-widened and he immediately clutched the towel to his body. He giggled to himself and finished getting ready.

 

--------------------------

"Oh, God."  Meredith jumped out of Justin's arms when she heard the doorbell ring.  The two had been cuddling watching a re-run of "Nsync's greatest moments" on MTV.  

 

Justin kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand.  "Calm down.  I know you can do this."  With that he stood up and walked to the front door. He opened it and let the 6 people into his house.

 

"Got any food?"  Chris asked following Danielle into the kitchen.

 

"G!!!" Justin heard Joey yell and by Meredith's squeal, he knew she had already been attacked.

 

"Hey, how's she doin?"  Lance and Leslie approached Justin.

 

"She's fine.  She has some important stuff to tell you guys, but she's a little scared.  So, just be patient with her."  Justin gave a smile and led them to the game room where JC and Joey were bothering Meredith.

 

"HEYYY!  Get off my girl!"  Justin pushed Joey's tickling hands off of Meredith and sat down in-between them.  He grabbed the remote and shut off the TV.  JC occupied the other space beside Meredith.  The 4 were kinda squished on the couch, but they didn't mind.  Leslie and Lance took their usual spot on the love seat and Chris came in with a box of cheez-its and a Pepsi, followed by Dani.  Dani sat in the recliner and played with Chris' hair, as he sat on the floor and ate his snack.

 

"So...."  JC said looking at Meredith.  She turned and looked at him.  She let her eyes roam around the room.  Every single person was staring at her, urging her to say something.  She felt pressured.  She felt nervous.  She felt alone.

 

Then Justin wrapped one arm around her and let his fingers intertwined with hers, letting her know she wasn't alone.  He leaned in and whispered in her ear.

 

"You can do this.  I'm right here.  Like I promised.  Just....say it."  She turned and looked at him with a meek smiled.  He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, trying to gain some confidence.

 

"I can do this."  She whispered, locking her eyes with his.  He kissed her softly and she slowly pulled away and relaxed into the couch, taking a deep breath.

 

"Well..." She looked up at everyone around the room. "OK, you can stop starring at me, now."  The silence broke with small giggles and everyone relaxed a bit.

 

"I'm not dying or anything like that."  She said once the room quieted again.  A thought came to her and she smiled to herself.  Her head bent down she closed her eyes to keep from laughing.  She took a deep breath and looked up at the impatient faces.

"Well, there isn't any way to say this, but to just say it."  She bit her bottom lip and glanced at Justin, who was eyeing her strangely.  He knew something was up.

 

"What is it, Mere?"  JC asked quietly.

 

"Umm, I'm pregnant."  She said flatly.

 

Meredith looked around the room.  Leslie and Lance eyes were popping out of their heads.  Chris and Dani were staring at them with their mouths open like fish.  Joey was jerking his head around, looking at the faces in the room with a shocked, excited expression.  Justin eyes went wide when she first said it but he immediately placed his face in the crook of her neck.  It looked like he was kissing her, but in reality he was laughing.  Meredith turned and looked at JC.  He was shaking his head and had one eyebrow raised.  He was smiling too.

 

"I'm so proud of you two.  Congratulations."  JC deadpanned and busted into giggles along with Meredith and Justin.

 

"You guys this ISNT funny!  Meredith you cannot have a baby.  Johnny will shoot you. Oh God, and its Justin's baby too!!"  Lance yelled, making JC, Meredith, and Justin laugh harder.  Soon Chris realized and whispered to Dani what they had done; leaving Lance and Joey still believing that Meredith was having a baby.  Leslie was slowly beginning to figure out the situation.

 

"Awww, a little 'lake is coming into the world."  Chris cooed as he walked over and petting Meredith's stomach.

 

Dani cleared her throat.  "Umm, thought about any names?"  She clamped her mouth together to stop the laughter.

 

Justin looked at her and smiled.  "Yes, if it's a boy we are naming him Ernesto."

 

Meredith looked at Justin in shock.  "I thought we discussed this."

 

"Discussed what?"

 

Meredith rolled her eyes and said annoyingly, "We are naming him Ernest.  Not Ernesto."

 

"You've got to be kidding me."  Lance groaned finally realizing the scam.  Leaving Joey, clueless.

 

Danielle giggled. "You guys are too much."

 

"So do you really have something to say to us, or was this all one big joke?"  JC said quietly.

 

Justin and Meredith were still giggling over "Ernesto" and didn't hear him.

 

"What?  This was a joke?  No baby?"  Joey questioned sadly.

 

"Sorry Joe."  Meredith reached over and patted his knee.

 

The room quieted down some and JC spoke again.  "Meredith, what happened last night?"

 

Meredith was caught off guard and jerked her head to stare at him. 

 

She stuttered. "Umm, well...See, I...umm..."

 

"It's OK baby.  I'm here."  Justin whispered pulling her closer to him.

 

"OK.  Well, where do I begin?"  Meredith stared at the floor in front of her and took a deep breath.

 

"I had a best friend.  A brother, almost.  He was everything.  He was my life."  She looked up and saw Leslie and Lance looking at her intently and she continued. 

 

They deserved to know.  These people in this room had helped her to move on with her life.  They had given her a new life.  They deserved to know.

 

"His name was Dan.  We were next door neighbors.  We grew up together.  We were each other's lifeline.  But, Dan grew up to be not what he seemed."  She looked at Chris and giggled at his expression.  He was slowly eating his cheez-its like he was watching an interesting movie.

 

"Umm, anyways.  The summer right before my sophomore year, Dan decided that his life wasn't worth living.  No one at all knew or suspected he was suicidal.  No one.  He never gave anyone ANY hint that he was messed up.  Not even me, and I was his, his best friend.  At that time, I didn't need a boyfriend or anything.  I had Dan.  We were NEVER, what should I say, romantically? involved. But we did love each other.  He was the brother I never had.   But in reality he wasn't." 

 

Meredith felt a tear escape from her eye.  Justin took his hand that was lock with hers and brushed the tear away.  She smiled a small smile and cleared her throat.

 

"Dan decided to kill himself one night."  Meredith heard JC take in a sharp breath beside her and she looked at him and saw his eyes full of concern.  She was SO lucky to have friends like she had here.

 

"It really messed me up.  I was a teenager who had a best friend that she was sure; I mean, I had my self convinced that I would grow up and ALWAYS be his best friend.  ALWAYS.  Of course, the whole town decides to blame me for his suicide.  Saying spending too much time with me was a curse or something.  I ended up becoming probably the LEAST popular girl in my school.  No one was mean to my face or anything.  But they just didn't want anything to do with me.  I don't know.  Maybe they were scared.  So, of course, I become depressed."  Meredith shrugged and shook her head kinda laughing.

 

"And I still face that fact to this very day."  A silence invaded the room.  Not a bothering silence, but one of understanding and closure.

 

"So, that's what those pills were for."  Joey quietly said.

 

"Huh?"  Meredith looked at him curiously.

 

"I saw them on your dresser that time me and Chris invaded your room, before you birthday."

 

"Oh.  Yeah, Prozac and Celexa."  She nodded

 

Dani looked at her wide-eyed, not sure if she should say anything.  "Umm, what caused the thing last night?"

 

"Dan's mom called me.  It was the first time I had spoken to her since the funeral.  It just brought back memories.  And my doctor had taken me off my prescription 3 weeks ago.  So, I quit taken my pills.  I was fine but I wasn't expecting her to call.  I guess I just wasn't ready to face the world without my drugs."  She finished in a thuggish accent.

 

"That's why you seemed down sometimes on tour.  We all kinda noticed how you would sometimes go off in your own little world."  Lance smiled at her.

 

"Yeah.  But the reason I decided to tell you guys all this is not because Leslie found me hysterical.  Well, that's partly the reason.  It kinda triggered something inside of me."  She looked at JC.  HE hadn't said one word since she started and she saw the confused expression on his face.  Meredith took her hand and clasped it with his, causing him to jump and look at her.

 

"I realized that you guys, everyone of you, have gave me back the life I lost when Dan died.  I never thought I would have friends again.  I didn't know it was possible to have friends after he left me.  But each one of you has shown me how great of a thing friendship is.  And I love every single one of you for that.  Now, Chris you can stop giving me that look.  I know you don't like all this sappy stuff."  Everyone giggled quietly. 

 

"Yall deserved to know.  That's why I decided to tell you."

 

"OK, stop it!  You are going to make me cry."  Dani jokingly yelled.

 

"Whew.....Gosh, it feels sooo good to get all that out."  Meredith wiped away a few tears that fell and smiled at her beloved friends. 

 

Lance and Leslie got up and approached Meredith.  Lance pulled Meredith out of her seat and wrapped her in a hug.

 

"I'm glad you told us."  He whispered in her ear. 

 

Meredith smiled.  "I'm glad I did too." 

 

She gave everyone in the room hugs and kisses on the cheeks.  It felt good to know she had so many people that loved her. 

 

Everyone was standing around in the game room and Justin spoke up.  "Well, its 6.  Do yall wanna order some pizza or something?"

 

The room filled with yesses and cheers and Lance led everyone out of the room into the kitchen. Justin held Meredith's hand as the walked towards the door out of the room.  Justin glanced back and saw JC.  HE was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

 

Justin asked curiously. "C you coming?" 

 

"You guys go on.."  He mumbled.

 

Meredith looked at him and back at Justin. 

 

"Let me talk to him.  You go on.  We'll be there in a second."  She gave him a reassuring smile.

 

He leaned down and gently caressed her lips with his.  After a few seconds he pulled away and stared at her angelic face.

 

Justin brushed a lock of her auburn hair out of her face and gently cupped her cheek while doing so.

 

"I'm so proud of you."  He whispered, admiring her.

 

"Thank you for being there for me.  I couldn't have done it without you."  She paused and stared into his deep eyes.  "I love you."

 

"I love you, too."  He kissed her forehead and walked backwards down the hall toward his kitchen, only turning around when Meredith went back into the gameroom to face JC.

 

Back

 

Forward