Next morning.

She woke up with a groan. Her eyes opened and she immediately slung her arm over her eyes and wished to God she hadn't woke up. It was way too bright and her head was pounding.

She moved her leg a little and realized her whole body felt like it had hit a mack truck.

She relaxed once more and let her arm fall down to her side and then turned her head and squinted her eyes open to look at the clock.

11:07

She was thankful it was Sunday...

She thought, making her head hurt more and determined in her mind that it was in fact Sunday, which was good because that meant she didn't have to go to work.

In fact, it was a special Sunday. It was Justin's birthday.

She didn't turn her head but instead moved her arm to the place beside her on the bed. All she felt was the quilt and the comforter.

Realizing he must have left soon after she fell asleep, or passed out in his arms, surprised her, even though it shouldn't have. She shouldn't have hoped that he would have stayed with her. He probably had plans. It was his birthday.

The last place he probably wanted to be was with his hungover psychotically depressed wife. She hated that he had found out she had fallen again. She wanted to keep it from him, but...in a way she was glad. Because now he had a determination to help her; he had promised her.

But she shook her head, not caring that it hurt. He had promised her many things, and now, he wasn't next to her.

He wasn't with her anymore.

She thought she heard scratching, and she smiled. Shorty had just recently discovered how to climb up steps, and lately each morning he had pushed his way out of the laundry room and scrambled up the steps to be her wake up call, or kiss.

As expected she heard a little yelp of a bark and felt something hop up on the mattress and start to lick her all over. She groaned out a "Shorttyyy." and tried to cover herself in the quilt fully so the dog would leave her alone.

And then the unexpected happen. She heard him.

"Shorty!" It was half whispered and half yelled. Obviously he didn't want to wake her up. She kept her eyes closed and tried not to smile when she heard Justin's voice at the doorway mumble, "damn dog."

She couldn't help it and she smiled, but didn't open her eyes. Then she started to laugh when Shorty started licking her neck a little.

"So, she is awake."

"Get this dog away from me," She moaned.

Later she felt the mattress shift and squinted open one eye to see Justin sitting beside her on the edge of the bed. He was dressed in blue pajama pants and a gray tank top. He held Shorty's wiggling body in one hand and a mug in the other.

"Coffee?"

"Oh, thank you." She managed to sit up a little and finally was able to open her eyes without too much pain and set up a little on the pillows and headboard. She sipped her coffee and smiled. Perfect. He knew how to make her perfect coffee: 3 sugars and 2 hazelnut creamers.

"Is it good?"

"Mmmhmm." She watched him watch her. Shorty was now in his lap chewing on the drawstring of his pants and calmly being petted.

He reached over a little and she closed her eyes letting the coffee warm her whole body. When she opened her eyes again he was opening a bottle of Advil. He handed her two and smiled. "How's your head?"

A moan passed her lips. "Throbbing."

When her eyes saw him again he was giving her his smile. That smile that she only saw then he was admiring her. One side of his upper lip was raised just a bit more than the other and his eyes sparkled. She noticed that he had taken a shower; he smelled clean, but hadn't shaved. "I'm guessing you aren't that hungry."

"I am, I just don't wanna eat."

"Well, I made some soup."

She laughed a little. He could cook a few things, but she had never seen him attempt to make soup. "You did?"

He shrugged and defended himself. "Well, I read the directions. Just add water in a pot with the stuff and stir."

The room was quiet for a little bit. She watched Shorty as he looked at her with his big brown eyes and chewed on the string. She watched Justin's hand run softly over the back of the dog. She loved his hands. They were big, and smooth and felt like heaven against her skin.

She reached out with one of her small, dainty hands and grabbed his free one was resting on the bed. Her brown eyes met his blue ones and she smiled. "28."

"What?"

She squeezed his hand little and felt his fingers move to lock in-between hers. "How's it feel to be 28?"

He started to say, "No different...well..." But then his head bowed and he was quiet for a few seconds. Then he muttered, "Actually, I feel a lot older."

Her body shifted on the bed and she took another soothing sip of coffee. "Me too. And MY birthday is 5 months away."

His eyes lifted to her. He watched her, closely. It made her a little nervous. It would make her nervous when they first met and he did it, but after they started dating she got use to it. But now it was making her nervous again.

There was something different in his eyes, something more, something else that wasn't ever there before. Maybe pain, maybe hope, maybe it was everything he had learned in the past half year, about himself, about her, about their relationship.

He bit his lip and looked at her concerned. "You look tired."

"I slept hard."

But then a smile came to his face and made her headache die down just a bit. "I know."

"Did you sleep any?"

His eyes left her and he shrugged, showing her that he was lying. "Enough."

She sat the mug down on the nightstand and sat up a little. It made her body ache and her headache comeback full force but she didn't care. "Justin I'm-"

He turned to her and said firmly, "Don't. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But-"

He interrupted her again, but this time with a smile. "No buts either. I don't want anymore excuses or anymore I'm sorry's. I just want us to enjoy each others company."

She sighed, her body went lax and she fell forward so that her forehead was resting against his bare shoulder. "I don't know."

"Well It is MY birthday." He said like a little kid.

She laughed against him at his voice. "You are so predictable. Every time on your birthday you expect that you are king of the world."

Her chin rested on his shoulder. She didn't think much about the act, but did realize that yesterday that time, she wouldn't have touched him in anyway. Out of fear, out of depression, and out of anger.

Justin turned to face her, nose scrunched up and a funny look across his features. "Well, it's MY day."

She smiled genuinely and realized her headache was now almost gone. "What do you want to do?"

He took his hand off Shorty and rubbed her arms, and then moved them to her back. "Talk with you. Maybe hold you a little. Have some fun."

She groaned and fell back on the bed. She felt ok, but having him touch her was overload for her senses and the thought she might cry if he kept being so sweet to her. "I have a hangover. How much fun can we have?"

He sat off the bed and Shorty climbed down off his lap and started sniffing around on the floor. He leaned back over and smoothed the hair over her head in almost a maternal manner. "Well, how about this? You stay here and rest. Hopefully that Advil will kick in. I'll go get you some soup and when you start feeling better we go down stairs and have fun. Oh and you can get out of those clothes. You smell like alcohol still. "

She thought she might cry. She wanted to forget last night. It had just hit her in his words of how stupid she had been and how much she had to make up to him for.

But being the super dog that he was, Shorty yelped once, then twice, taking her thoughts away from those things.

She smiled. "And Shorty can help."

"Of course."

He stood up and started to walk towards the door. She stared at his back as he walked and soon found herself calling out to him. "Ya know Justin, I wanna thank you for him. This past month has been hell and without him I don't think I could have made it. So, even though you haven't been around, in a way you have."

He didn't turn around, but she watched his shoulders slump and his head hang. "I should have been here though."

She rolled over on her side and looked him in his eyes as he looked over his shoulder at her. "You say no more sorries or buts and I saw no more "I should or shouldn't haves" ok?"

"Deal." He smiled and winked at her, and followed Shorty out of the room pulling the door shut so Shorty wouldn't bother her.

"Hey! Don't forget crackers." She called through the door.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

She smiled and snuggled into her pillow. But then she reached behind her and pulled the big decorative pillow Justin had been sleeping on the night before. She placed it under head, inhaled and felt her body feel 50% better.

Something had happened with them the night before. And even though parts of the night were a bit blurry, she remembered enough to know that they had gotten back on the right track.

And she couldn't wait to find out what the day ahead had in store for her.

-------
a little after 1

He was beaming. Smiling like a kid at Disney World, and they were just in their kitchen. On the island were all sorts of baking goods from sugar to cake mix to flour to cups and spoons and bowls and everything. He had requested one thing for their afternoon. A birthday cake, complete with "happy birthday stud" written on the top. 28 candles too.

It was what he wanted and she wasn't about to deny him of that pleasure. It was all he had asked for her that day, and since she hadn't bought him anything, she figured he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

But she was still gonna give him a hard time.

"Justin..." She said in a low voice.

He was happily reading over the recipe he had ripped out of a magazine. "Hmm?"

She walked over from the counter to the island where he was standing and crossed her arms over the countertop and raised an eyebrow. "Now I might be an ok cook, but I'm not a chef, and I'm not your grandma. I've never tried making a cake before."

"How hard can it be?" He shrugged with an innocent smile.

"It's probably not that hard, but do you see the recipe you have! A chocolate pecan fudge icing layer cake. I don't think so honey. Give me a Betty Crocker box and a tub of icing and ill go at it, but this is nuts." The recipe was something she was sure her own mother, greatest cook she ever had known, might even have difficulty with.

"Who cares if its not perfect! Its the experience in making it that's the point." He winked at her and made a clicking sound in his mouth.

Her eyes scanned the ingredients and she knew he couldn't have gotten all this stuff from her kitchen. Last time she checked her milk was bad and she only had 2 eggs left. "When did you get this stuff?"

"This morning when you were still asleep."

"You didn't sleep at all last night did you."

She looked at him closely. He was tall, but his figure was slumped with fatigue. His eyes were a little puffy and dark underneath. He had color in his face but not like normal.

It was apparent had got 0 sleep the night before. And she felt like it was her fault.

"For maybe an hour."

She reached over and touched his arm. "Justin..."

He looked at her with a tired smile and memories flooded her mind. He was an ok sleeper but whenever something was on his mind or he was stressed out, sleep was a challenge. She had gotten use to it, but had always felt sympathy to him and always had tried to make sure he made up for the lack of rest.

It was her duty. It was her life. It was what she loved to do.

Take care of him.

His eyes seemed to reach into her and touch her heart. He was looking at her and only her and it made her feel special. Something she hadn't felt in a while. "Mere I'm fine. I was very, very content just, watching you."

Goosebumps danced on her skin and she immediately broke eye contact with him so that she wouldn't start smiling too big, or crying. Her lungs took in a sharp breath and she snatched the recipe from his hands. "So lets see...Why don't you put a cup of the sugar and flour in that bowl and I'll get the eggs."

She pointed to the other side of the island and he saluted her. But then he squeezed behind her, pressing his hands into her hips and dipping down to kiss her temple.

"Yes ma'am." He whispered.

She shook him off, literally and went to busy herself with something else. She couldn't afford for him to affect her that way. Today was his day, but she didn't wanna fall back into the routine of getting together once every month and being happy and then making love and then it falling apart.

She couldn't afford for that to happen again. If it did, she didn't know what would happen to her.

So they mixed and stirred and beat and measured and read and reread for an hour that afternoon. Then they poured their batter into pans to cook and put them in the oven.

They talked.

Waited the 30 minutes for the batter to slowly rise.

She asked about his brothers and he told her everything that had been going on in his family's life.

He asked her how work was going and she just told him the usual.

At one point she even hopped up on the counter and told him to come stand between her legs. She gave him a shoulder and neck massage, and they talked some more.

But halfway into her task his quiet groans and "oh that's it" were making her mind flutter. She took her hands away from him and he immediately leaned back into her.

She wanted to touch him. She wanted to touch him more than anything, but she was afraid. So she pushed on his back and hopped off the kitchen and called out to Shorty, hoping the dog would be a good enough distraction for them.

The cakes cooled, icing and pecans were added and then the layers were constructed into one cake.

She was surprised. It looked pretty good. The icing was thick and Justin had already licked every spoon possible. He had chocolate on his lips and chin and cheeks, and any other time she would have licked or kissed it off of him, but she was scared that if she did he might push her away.

She smoothed the last of the icing over the side of the cake and spent a few minutes making sure every spot was covered.

Justin immediately got excited, because it was "his part."

"Ooo, ooo oooo, its my turn, my turn." He picked up a hand full of pecans, ate a few, and smiled.

"What are you gonna do with those. Make it pretty!" She demanded in a childish tone. He laughed at her and started to place the pecans on the top of the cake.

"I'ma do a big 28!"

Her mind went back to his request and she picked up the big bag of icing that was laying on the counter. "What about this? You don't want me to write the "Happy Birthday stud" on it."

His eyebrows raised in realization. "Ohh yeah. Ok. Do that first." HE moved out of the way and she picked up the bag and cradle it in her hands and walked to the cake.

She was a little nervous holding the white icing filled bag with the silver knob on the end. She figured he could deal with it NOT in cursive, because she knew if she tried to it would mess up.

The "happy" was perfect.

The "birthday" was perfect.

But the "stud" wasn't so perfect.

She looked at Justin and bursts out with laughter. "My name is not SUD!"

She put her hands up in defense. "I didn't mean to forget it!"

"You left out the t!!" He pouted.

"At least I didn't leave out the U and call you STD!"

"WHAT?!"

She giggled and bit her lip. "You heard me, Sud."

"Listen woman. You better fix it." He pointed to the cake that had "Happy Birthday Sud" written on it.

"You cant Justin!"

"FINE! I'll just put on the pecans." He pouted and furrowed his brow and started to throw the pecans at the cake hoping they would stick. She couldn't help but laugh at him. He looked pathetic, and cute, and she just wanted to curl up with him and relax.

"Stop pouting."

"Well next time I'll mess up your name on YOUR cake."

"Your NAME isn't even Stud."

"ITS NOT SUD EITHER!"

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes and patted his back as she walked behind him to get silverware and papertowels.

"NO!"

She stared at him for a while and finally pointed towards the den. "Will you go in the other room?!"

"Why? So you can mess it up more!?"

"No. So I can put the candles and light it and bring it to you and sing and stuff!"

He tried to keep a disappointed face but soon his eyes twinkled and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards and then he started to smile brightly and he sauntered out of the room, happily. "Ohhhh. OK!"

She got everything ready, cake on a platter held by both hands, a knife and forks and plates held in one of those hands and the candles were burning, lighting her face.

She walked slowly and finally when she saw him sitting on the couch talking to Shorty she started to sing.

He turned his whole body towards her and the look on his face almost made her stop singing and drop the cake. He was looking at her with those eyes that made her weak in the knees and made her whole body turn into a puddle of nothing.

But she managed to get to him and set the cake on the coffee table and then sit down beside him on the couch. When she finished singing the song he looked at her with a smile.

"Thanks."

"Blow em out silly!" she reached over and ruffled his hair, and then moved her hand to rest on the back of his neck.

He smiled at her again and turned to blow out all the candles.

"What did you wish for?"

He grinned at her secretively and said, "Cant tell."

"Fine, be that way."

She tried to act pissed off but soon his arms were around her, holding her tight. his face was embedded in her shoulder and his body was almost pulling her on top of him. She didn't know what to do, but when he whispered "thanks" she knew just to hug him back and not to ask questions.

But the hug only lasted so long and soon he broke away and snatched the knife and got ready cut the cake.

"I want! I want!" He chanted.

She watched him cut a piece and put it on his plate and devour into it. By the look of pleasure on his face they had done a good job. She had to admit, it was pretty good.

A little too choclatey for her, but she was able to deal with it.

It had been a strange day for her. There was So much she wish she could do with him, but at the same time she was so thankful for all they had done that day.

They hadn't kissed, or shown too much affection. They hadn't said "I love you" and they hadn't talked about the night before, or the months before hardly. And yet he had managed to make her smile, and he had made her see her life so much clearer.

She knew now, that they were gonna be ok.

All because of him.

----
Around 6

They had eaten way too much cake and soon fell asleep on the couch, or at least he had. And now he was up again, looking down at his wife, curled up against him on the couch. He had slept for a good 2 hours with her on the couch. He watched her breathe, happy to be near her, happy to have her not pulling away from him.

Happy to have her reaching out to him.

One arm was over his middle, the other curled in-between them. Her face was tucked into his chest.

He looked at his watch and saw what time it was. He needed to get back to his apartment and check his messages and do some other things. His cell phone had died that morning and he was sure his brothers and mother would be calling him looking for him on his birthday. Not to mention JC, who would want to know what had happened after the night before.

"Mere..."

She shifted and moaned, "hmmm.."

"I need to get up."

"Oh k." Her body pulled away a little and finally she sat up. He pulled himself off the couch and stretched.

She was sitting there, rubbing her eyes trying to wake up.

"I need to go."

Her eyes shot to him and he was afraid of the look that she gave him. "W- what?"

His body kneeled down and he looked at her, his eyes level with hers. "I need to go home for a little bit."

Her face dropped and she looked at him with questioning eyes. "Why?"

"There is just some stuff I need to do. You stay here and rest up ok?" She took in a shaky breath, turned her eyes from him and nodded shortly. "Oh. Ok."

"I promise you I'll come back."

She didn't look at him and he knew she didn't believe him. So he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I promise." He whispered against her skin.

She turned her face a little and he couldn't help himself. He dipped in and kissed her lips.

He didn't linger there and he didn't deepen the kiss, but he hoped it was enough of a motion for her to understand everything he wanted to say to her.

She stared at him for a while and when a smile broke on her face he knew his planned had worked.

And with that he stood up and got his keys and picked up his clothes from the night before and left her house.

But everything was ok. Because he knew he'd be back. Back Forward