December 1st

"Did you get it?"

"Yup."

"Are you going to take it to her?"

"mmmhmm.."

"Well I thin you should go now."

JC rolled his eyes and chuckled into the phone. "Kristina! I am, chill girl. Me and Lance are going over there now."

"Ok." She paused and whispered quietly. "Justin just came by."

JC's eyebrows rose as they turned into a neighborhood. "oh really?"

"Yeah, he looked horrible. He just left though. He was picking papers up or something. He came in here, actually looking for mere but she's ...well ya know."

"Listen we are almost there, I'll give ya a buzz later and tell you all how she was. Or when you get off just come down here or something. I'm sure she could use the company."

"Maybe I will."

"Oh, and um...is my Chris there?" JC's arm flew out and smacked the driver in the stomach for his deep chuckle.

"She just got back form her lunch break. We went together."

"Oh, ok. Cool."

Kris's laughter echoed in the phone as their car turned up the driveway. "You are such a dork Chasez."

"Why thank you. Ok we are here, gots ta go."

"Hug her for me, will you?"

"I will. Bye."

"Bye Josh." JC flipped off his phone and exited the car. Lance had already turned off the engine and was out of the car, opening the very back of his SUV and pondering the object they were delivering.

"This is gonna be a hoot."

JC slammed his car door and came around the back and looked at the object laying in Lance's SUV as well. "What are you talking about man. We can handle it."

"Yeah, riight."

He reached in and got a good hold of the item there and lifted it with a grunt. "It's not THAT big."

"C. Dude. You asked for the biggest one they HAD. WE barely got this in the car. Hello, little red thingy hanging off the end of it so cars don't run into it. That's big Chasez."

JC pulled the thing out and lifted it up in his arms and onto his shoulders. Lance got the other end and they shuffled towards the front door. "How would you know what big was."

"Leslie tells me every night we-"

JC started to gag. "Ok, spare me the details Mr. Bass."

"Hey, you asked."

"yeah yeah..just ring the damn bell."

Lance did as Josh told him and moments later the door was being slowly opened.

-------

a couple hours later, Lance and JC were standing back admiring their work.

"Dude we are awesome."

Josh slapped hands with the man standing by him. "Hell yes."

"What do you think Miss Mere?"

"It's...fine."

She was sitting on the couch, hands in her lap, her shoulders slumped, even though she was in bulky clothes she looked small, shrunk in, withdrawn from the world.

In all honesty she looked dead, pale, sick, and not happy at all.

"Just fine?!" JC asked shocked.

"What?"

He looked at the tree and then back at her. "It's perfect! It's big, it's full. It's shinny, It's pretty. It's...as you would say...YAY."

"T thanks guys. You're right, it's perfect." Tears were forming in her eyes and she bowed her head to keep them from seeing her breakdown.

JC looked at Lance and he nodded and started to step towards the kitchen. "Hey I'm gonna make us some hot chocolate."

"thanks man." JC patted him on the back and when to sit on the couch beside of Meredith.

She shook her head and he just looked at her, trying his best to read into her actions a little more. "It, It really is beautiful Joshua. Thank you."

"No prob girl. So uh..."

She cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest, sitting there almost as if she was some guard, not letting anyone beyond a certain point. "I'm fine, Josh."

"Mere..."

"It's the holidays ya know? It's been just a few days since thanksgiving, I'm just a little stressed that all." She shrugged it off and he could see straight past her when her voice quivered.

She got off the couch and went to stand in front of the tree that the two men had put in the corner of the den. Jace sighed and watched to start to pace a little. "Just so you know, he's not doin so well either."

Her brown eyes cut to him. "I don't wanna hear it."

But he didn't listen to her. He knew she needed to hear how he was doing as well. "I helped him move into his new place yesterday, he barely said a word to me."

She turned fully at him and put her hands on her hips. "I TOLD you, I DONT want to hear it."

JC sat up on the edge of the couch, pleading with her to listen to him, with his eyes. "Meredith he's your husband. I thought you might wanna know what's up with him."

"He sure doesn't ACT like my husband. And...and I don't care what he does. He can do whatever the hell he wants. I don't own him. He's a grown man he can do as he pleases. He can get his own place, leave me, start seeing other people, get a divorce. Who the hell cares?!"

He stood off the couch and walked to her, grabbing her arms and forcing her to look at him. "You do. God Meredith. Stop torturing yourself, he's gonna be back, he just needs ti-"

She pushed away form him and interrupted. "TIME!? It's been 5 months! I've tried my DAMN best to get over this. But I cant when HE'S the one pulling away from me."

"You pulled away from him too."

her eyes narrowed in on him. "Oh, you don't know shit about what I've done or he's done in this. You don't know what it's like Josh. None of you people do." She threw her hand towards Lance that was now staring into the den with a shocked look on his face.

"Then LET the one person who DOES know how you feel HELP you!"

"Who!? JUSTIN!? He doesn't want to help me. He wants to help himself, clear his mind, blah blah blah. And all of yall don't know ANYTHING about this so I don't have ANYOMNE to talk to. You don't know how fucking EMPTY I feel when I had to watch his face when the doctors told him that his WIFE could not do just ONE simple thing for him. He's a family man, you KNOW that. And I cant give him a damn family. If I can't do that for him, then what the hell is the point in us being together anyway? HUH!?"

She stared at Josh hard, and he thought that she was about to swing at him or something when both of their attention broke and focused on another person at the door.

"Don't mind me. I'm just here to get some things." Justin shut the front door behind him and forced a smile before walking quickly to the steps and up them, taking them two at a time.

--

a hour later

Justin peeked downstairs before he moved. He only saw Lance wrapped up in Christmas lights beside the huge tree. He quietly stepped down to the second floor and placed his huge duffel bag on the floor beside the door. Tensions were very high and he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. "Nice tree."

Lance turned and smiled. "Hey man, what's up."

"Where'd C go?"

He shrugged and went back to hanging lights around the tree. "His woman came and picked him up. I figured I'd stay around and put lights on the tree for Meredith since she's short and no one else is...well, I just thought I'd do it."

Justin stared at his friends back for a while. Normally he would have been the one to hang up the lights, but not this year. "Th- thanks. She loves Christmas. And she loves decorating the tree."

lance halted all his motions and looked at Justin in the classic deer in headlights look. "Do I need to stop?"

"No, no man. She...she loves everything but putting the lights on it. So It's good you are here to um, do it."

It was quiet for a while. Justin stayed standing near the doorway, Lance kept putting lights on the tree. Finally Lance cleared his throat and said out of no where. "Justin, how much longer are you gonna do this to her?"

"What?"

He looked over his shoulder and his green eyes seemed to lock on to Justin . It made him very uncomfortable. "You're killing her man."

Justin's body tensed and he walked over to the couch and plopped down on it. "You think I don't know that. God, why is everyone on her side in this? Have any of you thought that just maybe this might be hard for me TOO."

"I know this is hard for you. But you are being an ASS to her."

"She's being an ASS to me." Suddenly his headache seemed to turn into a migraine ad he wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed. He rubbed his temples as Lance rolled his eyes at him.

"Mature Justin, real mature."

"Well what the hell do you suggest I do."

"I...I don't know man."

He groaned. He was getting tired of everyone bossing him around when they didn't have a clue in the whole situation. "See. My point exactly. You don't know."

Lance stood there looking at the lights wove around his arms for a while and finally he turned completely and looked up at Justin. He pointed to the kitchen. "Go down there and talk to her. Hug her. Spend the night here with her." Justin gave him a look and he corrected himself. "I'm not saying have sex with her. Hell if you want to by all means go ahead, I know after you two lay each other its like lilies and daisies everywhere and sunshine for everyone."

He couldn't help but laugh. Hearing Lance's deep voice say lilies and daisies just didn't seem right. "Are you ok?"

"Fine. Dude just, decorate YALLS house....together, with her. It...it's Christmas man."

Justin shrugged. The worst that could happen would be that they would fight, again. But maybe a lot of good could come from him just hanging out with her a little bit. He nodded and took a deep breath as if to wash out all his bad emotions. "Maybe you're right. I mean, I could at least help her get the ornaments out of the attic."

Lance bit his lip and cringed a little. "Well, I've already done that. But just...cook dinner with her or for her, or get take out. Order a pizza and decorate the damn tree, that's all you have to do. Don't talk about baby stuff, hell don't have to talk at all. Just...I think if you two spend time with each other, it'll be good." He smiled, his eyes sparkling. It helped Justin a lot to know that lance had faith in him, and his relationship.

"Thank you Dr. Lance."

"Hey, next time I'm charging. You cool here by yourself?"

"I think I can handle my wife myself."

"Don't be so sure about that." Lance started to get himself untangled from the small Christmas tree lights. It was quite a humorous site, but soon enough he was free from the green string.

He looked up at Justin and scratched his head, then darted his eyes to the floor. "Oh and um, can you maybe help me out next week on Monday or so?"

Justin stretched and yawn, curious as to why his friend has just gotten so uptight. "What cha need."

"I need someone to go um, ring shopping with me."

"What for."

"Ya know, a um..ring."

"Ring?" He pondered again and then it dawned on him. The blush of Lance's face and the stutter in his voice gave away. Not to mention the smile on his lips. "A RING!?! Well Hot damn. Sure man, I'll be there."

"Well I mean, I figure, I went with you for Mere's, You owe me." He smiled brightly, but it fell and so did Justin's.

"Y..yeah..." Justin shook his head, too many memories were surfacing, and with those memories came emotions, that he didn't want to feel. "When are you asking?"

Lance shrugged. "Don't know yet. Maybe Christmas eve. I don't know, just..I wanna have it in case the time is right ya know? I mean, it's obvious she's the one, and soon ya know? I just don't know exactly when yet."

"Well yeah, I'll help ya bro." Justin flashed him a bright smile.

Lance walked to the door in the kitchen that led to the garage and Justin followed him. HE had made sure not to block Lance in when he had pulled up. "thanks. You have a good night. And..be NICE to her." Lance pointed to him and walked towards his car.

"I'll try daddy."

He turned and grinned. "Damn right son."

Justin closed the door and watched Lance pull out of the driveway through the glass there. With a sigh he walked through the kitchen and towards the den. But then he stopped, and he turned to the door in the kitchen that led down to the basement.

He figured that's where she was.

Before he could think he was at the door, tiptoeing down the steps.

He stopped at the bottom of the steps and turned to see her. She was laying on the couch, curled up, eyes closed.

But he knew she wasn't asleep.

"Hi."

Her eyes opened slowly, and when they focused on him he could have sworn he saw her body jump. She stared back at him for a good while before she stuttered. "I..hi."

HE leaned against the railing and smirked at her. "What cha up to?"

"Just laying."

HE pointed over his shoulder to the steps as she pushed herself into a sitting position, making it look like the simple task took all her energy. "Why don't you come up stairs."

"Um, why."

"So we can decorate the tree." HE smiled and shook his hips a little, trying to get her to lighten up and come upstairs with him. She looked horrible, and she looked like she wanted nothing more to do than just sit there...alone.

But he wasn't going to let her get what she wanted so easily.

"Yeah, we."

He ignored her sarcastic toned and strolled over to her. she seemed to crawl into herself as he approached, as if she were scared of him. And that scared him. "Thought we could order a pizza or something and decorate the house, together."

"Ok." He stepped away from towering over her and let her get off the couch. She immediately stalked to the stairs.

She turned around and gave him a curious look. He held out his arms and shuffled towards her, pouting. "Can I get a hug?"

Her shoulder's fell and she stood there, still as silence as he encircled her into his arms and pressed her body into his. After a few seconds her body seemed to go weak in his arms and he thought that if he didn't hold her tight, she would slip away. Her arms wrapped around him, and her head burrowed into his shoulder.

He had missed this so much, and having her there in his arms again made him wish he could rewind time and not have blown up at her at his grandparents.

But he knew, he had every right to. "God you smell good."

He felt her body press into his more firmly and he heard her voice, weak against his shirt. "S..so do you."

He pulled away, keeping her in his arms and smiled down at her. "Come on, I'll go order us dinner and you can get your decorating all organized. Lance already put the lights on. He's so sweet."

A smile appeared on her lips at his animated voice, and he thought he had died right then. She looked gorgeous in her pitiful state, and he was suddenly extremely happy he had taken Lance's advice.

Hours later he found himself staring at her, not able to stop. She looked stunning in the dim light of just the Christmas lights that were reflecting off all the ornaments. He looked down at her hand, her wedding ring seemed to glow as it reflected the colors.

Any past problem, argument, or fight seemed to disappear that evening. He had ordered pizza and they had eaten it all. He had helped her hang the ornaments on the high parts of the tree and she had even let him do the coveted job of hanging the beautiful angel that her mother had past on to them a few years ago.

She seemed ok, more so than she had in a while. They were quiet, but for some reason he felt like words weren't needed that night. They were together, and they were helping each other, and the simple task of decorating a Christmas tree had been the best thing they had done as a couple since the whole thing had started.

She had seemed content that night. IT made him feel like he was floating.

And now, here in the dim lights, them sitting close on the couch, with his arm around her and her head gently resting on his shoulder, he wanted nothing more than to just tell her he loved her and that soon they'd be ok.

But he couldn't find the courage to say anything.

He thought that maybe, just maybe he could show her how much he cared. So his hand that was on her shoulder moved and he touched her cheek. He nudged her until her face turned and she was looking at him.

HE didn't think about his actions, he just felt. And the next thing he knew, his mouth was on hers.

He kissed her softly, not wanting to scare her. He used his lips to tell her, without words that he loved her and she seemed to get the message across as her hand gripped his short curls and her mouth opened a little against his.

Before he knew what was happening, he was leaning over her, touching her tongue with his, pressing himself into one of her legs, breathing extremely heavy.

And she was kissing him back, just barely, he was mainly kissing her, but still she was.

And then she stopped. She pushed at his shoulders and breathed out onto his face, "S stop."

He kept his eyes closed and grinned, leaning into to kiss her again and giggling. "Why? I'm just kissing you. he he he."

She scoffed and pushed at him hard. "Stop it, I'm serious."

IT was then when he opened his eyes and saw a very angry look in her eyes. He scrambled off her like a high school boy that had pushed a date too far. He bit his nails and kept to himself as she sat up and brushed herself off. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

He turned and looked at her with eyed innocent blue eyes. "Did I do something wrong."

She rolled her eyes and it made him wanna puke. "Um, YES. You just took advantage of me on the couch."

"You..you kissed me back."

She stood up with her hands on her hips, cocking an attitude. "Well, well..."

He looked up at her, wanting her to explain what he did that was so wrong. So maybe he shouldn't have kissed her, but she could have stopped him way before she started to make out with him. "Well what?"

"Why are you being so nice to me."

He gave her a strange look. she was just looking for things to fight about now and he wasn't going to put up with that. "Do you want me to be mean?"

"Maybe!"

His migraine came back all at once, and he put his hand to his forehead and leaned back on the couch, trying to take deep breaths. "Ok, you are confusing me."

She turned to him, hands still on her hips and a bitchy look on her face. He did NOT like where this was heading. "Oh, it's all my fault. Everything's my fault."

He responded with the only thing his head could think. "Huh."

If he knew any better she was about to start stomping her feet. She was pitching a fit, something he had rarely seen her do, and something he usually found as funny. But in this time, he found it annoying and a childish way for her to pick a fight with him. "Ugh, why the hell are you here anyway? Don't you have to move somewhere, decorate your OWN place."

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at her square in the face. He asked her calmly, trying not to show much emotion in his voice, "Do you want me to leave?"

She moved out of the way and motioned to the front door. The lights from the tree didn't look as pretty as they did before. They seemed to enhanced the fire in her eyes. "Go ahead. I know lance put you up to this."

"what?"

"I can hear Justin. I was by the doorway."

"You were eavesdropping." He had kept his cool for several minutes but it was getting to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. she was starting to push his buttons and that wasn't something a sane person thought to do. Justin Timberlake could be lethal when the right buttons were being pushed. She seemed to want him to start to yell at her.

"So!"

"And lance didn't make me he just said that I should. I agreed with him. God, just...stop being so bitchy. I'm trying to be nice." He stood off the couch and patted his pocket to check to see if his keys were there. He could see where this was going, and wanted to leave before any permanent damage was done.

"Well that's a first."

And he realized, the damage had already been done. She had picked a fight, and had wanted to hurt his feelings. She had done so beautifully in her task, but along with it had pulled out the bit of hope that evening had for him.

He moved past her, saying under his breath, "I think it's time for me to leave."

He had opened the front door and was almost out when she called back at him. "Don't forget your suitcase."

Chills tickled his back and his stomach knotted. All he would have to do was bend over and gag and he was sure all the pizza he would have eaten would have come back up.

She didn't care anymore.

And if she didn't care, he didn't know if he could. He thought just maybe, since it was near Christmas she would be different.

She was always a little happier during the holidays. Her childlike side came out and he loved being around her, even more than usual.

Her childlike side appeared that night, but not the one he loved.

He thought his night at home would have made him feel comfortable and he thought he might for once in the past 5 months, be glad to be home, with her.

But he realized, home was the last place he wanted to be.

HE turned, picked up the bag he had placed by the door hours before and stared at her, cold and hard.

"It was a pleasure Meredith. I would say we should do it again sometime but obviously you don't want to. Merry Christmas."

He shut the door, and walked to his car trying to fight back the tears that he knew would be falling later that night. Back Forward