The next morning...a little before 11

The car ride back was silent. Truth was, he couldn't think of any words to say that would be fitting for her.

He felt like he didn't deserve to talk to her.

She was slumped in the car seat, her head resting on the window, her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't asleep.

It was a cloudy day in Orlando, it probably would rain sometime that day. The wind was blowing in a cool breeze. A shiver fell through his body even though the windows were up and he had warm air floating through the car's heating system.

He still couldn't catch his breath. From the moment he heard she had her own hospital room he felt like all the wind had been knocked from him and no matter how much he tried to breathe deeply, it just wouldn't work.

His head hurt. His eyes hurt. But above all his heart hurt.

And along with his heart hurting his conscious was hurt. Joseph Anthony Fatone, the third was born that morning at exactly 6:37 am and he didn't give a damn. She had told him to leave her side and go see Joey and Kelly and Brianna and congratulate them. But he just shook his head and crawled up on the small bed with her and held her.

And when Brianna came over to tell Meredith she hoped she felt better and to drag Justin to see the baby he just said "No" and closed his eyes, pulling the person that was lying beside him closer.

And when the nurses came in and asked Justin to get off the bed so they could take the IV out, he all but pitched a fit.

And when they released Meredith and she tugged on Justin's hand to go see Joseph, number 3 he shook his head and whispered, "I'm taking you home."

HE felt bad. He really did. And he knew he would have to call up Joey and apologize but nothing was more important to him than his wife, who had passed out all because of him.

A hand on his upper arm startled him and he jumped. He turned his head and was met straight on with her eyes.

IT was the first time he had directly looked her in the eyes since he had left for New York. The normal sparkle that was there was faded. Her eyes looked dark, gray, old. Dark Shadows had found themselves a resting place underneath her brown orbs. Her face was ghostly pale, hair stringy and not its normal fullness and silkiness. Her lips were dry and slightly chapped. Her cheeks a little sunken in.

She looked so helpless.

"Huh?"

"We're home." She whispered.

He jerked his head around and realized he had park the car in the garage. "Oh. Yeah. Right." He quickly unfastened his seatbelt and shot out of the car. She was moving a hell of a lot slower than him, so making it to her door before she climbed out wasn't a challenged.

He pulled the door open for her and when she tried to step out on her own he stopped her and pulled her up into his arms.

"What are you doing?" She reluctantly held on to his broad neck as he used his hip to push the car door shut.

"Carrying you."

She chuckled a light, breathy, weak and whispered chuckle. "I can walk."

Justin stopped and sighed. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Just..just let me do this."

He was grateful when her head gently rested on his shoulder and she gripped his neck a little better.

She must have figured he needed to baby her a little when she didn't say anything when he opened the door and walked on through the door, house, up the steps and to their bedroom. He placed her gently on his side of the bed and then scurried to the other pulling back the covers and then walking to her dresser opening drawers and finding her something more comfy than jeans and shirt to sleep in.

But finally she must have gotten tired of his babying. "Justin..I'm fine."

He ignored her comment and lifted some sweats in the air, his back still facing her. "What do you want to be comfortable in."

"I'm ok in this." He heard her sigh.

He slammed the dresser drawer shut and through a pair of her sweats on the bed and stalked around the room like a madman. "Ok isn't good enough. Do you need something to drink? Is it too hot in here?"

He paced in front of her. "It's actually cold. Would you stop please." He jerked his arm away from where she had grabbed him. Then he realized she was just trying to calm him down. Her wide, distant eyes bore into him, pleading with him.

HE fell to his knees in front of her. "Y..you were in the hospital!"

She smiled and brought her hand to the side of his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. "I know. Kelly was in labor. I had to be."

His head shook and he scooted closer to her on his knees, spreading her legs apart and moving his hands around her waist so he could hold her. "I mean..."

Her arms slid around him and he felt her kiss his head not once, but twice. He felt her breathe in heavily and then rest her cheek on the top of his curls. He held on tighter, and she didn't let him go. "Justin I passed out. It's happened before, and it will probably happen again. You know me, if I get really hot or nervous, and I stand up really quick I get light headed. It's not a big deal."

He put his hands on the mattress and pushed him self off her. He stood up and began pacing again, talking wildly. "But it IS! It's a huge deal. I fly 2 hours down here expecting to see you coaching Kelly own and I come down here and see you in a damn hospital bed with a fuckin tube up your arm. I'm sorry Meredith but that SCARED me. I..I just don't know what to do. I just want you to be happy and healthy and ok. And you haven't been that lately."

She shook her head. "Neither have you."

He stood his back and forth walking in front of her about 4 feet from where she was sitting, turned to her, stared at her. "I don't matter. You're all that matters."

She smiled when he smiled at her and then whispered his name. "Justin..."

Goosebumps covered his arms and legs. She was staring at him with a little grin, and that sparkle in her eyes was attempting to come back. "I've missed you saying my name that way."

"What way?"

He bowed his head, and looked down at his tennis shoes. "Like you love me."

It took her a moment to respond, but when she did her voice was low and she spoke extra slow. "You think I don't love you?"

He fumbled with his hands that were clasped and hanging in front of the fly of his jeans. "I think you've had too much on your mind to love me."

HE looked back up at her when she started to speak. "You think that I'm the one not being loved here! You have-"

He shook his head and stepped forward, holding his hand up in a "stop" motion. "Don't. N- not now. Don't start an argument with me now."

She gulped and he watched her face hide behind her hair as she bowed her head. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have let it come to this." He felt sick when she didn't say anything back. She start picking her nails, a habit she didn't when she was uncomfortable.

The urge to make it all go away filled his body to the brim. He had this need to make her happy. He wanted to do anything for her to help her be happy to help her feel ok. He needed to do it, for her sake but mostly his. "What do you want...Need? Water? Want to take a bath? Want me to leave you a lone?"

She clasped her hands gently in her lap like only a woman could and looked up at him, shaking her head to make her hair fall better against the sides of her delicate face. "I would like for you to get in bed with me."

He smiled and nodded. "Ok."

He felt light, like he was walking on air as he moved to the bed and crawled up on it. He kicked off his shoes and started to get under the covers, happy that he could do what it was she wanted.

But she was still sitting, not moving, peacefully on the edge of the bed. Her quiet voice floated into his ears. "Naked please."

"WHAT?" His blue eyes stared hard at her back.

Her head turned to look at him and then fell forward again, shaking in doubt. "I..forget it."

Justin was a loss for words. It had been a while since they had made love and he couldn't imagine her wanting to do that NOW right after she was released from the hospital because she was dehydrated and fatigued. He knew she didn't think things through and had a tendency to say things before thinking about it. But this was crazy. "Meredith, y- you were just in the hospital. You need to rest."

She sighed heavily and shined. "I..I know. But...nothing. Just go do whatever you want."

He crawled over to her on the bed and pulled her so she was sitting back father on the bed than before. He turned so that he could look her in the face. He held on to the side of her head. "No! no. Not But nothings none of that. Tell me what you were going to say."

She pushed his hand away and crossed her arms over her chest. She took a deep breath and then turned her face, her eyes locking on to his.

"I miss sleeping with you. I miss having you near me. I miss cuddling up to your body at night. I miss holding you against me. I miss being able to touch you. I miss being able to kiss you. I miss being able to love you. I miss being able to MAKE love to you. And I'm not saying we have to do that now. But. I just. It makes me feel safe when you are close to me like that. It might be weird and I might sound stupid but its just the way I feel. That's what I want Justin. I want my husband back." Her speech started out quiet and slow, but the more she talked the faster her words came out, the louder her voice got and before he knew it she taking in shaky breaths trying to resist the urge to cry.

He sat there a long moment just staring back at her. Even in her weak and almost pathetic state she looked so beautiful to him.

He smiled.

And then he pushed himself off the bed, walked to where he was directly in front of her, and casually pulled his long sleeved shirt off and over his head and let it fall to the floor.

------

He stood there a long time after he removed his shirt. His blue eyes were dark and deep and she looked into them and could see his soul. She hadn't been able to do that in so long.

She sighed and turned her face into a grin as she looked up at him. Her hands reached out and she grabbed his slender hips and made him move closer. Her hands slid around to his belt buckle and slowly undid it. Her tiny fingers worked to unbutton the top button of his jeans and then she gripped the two ends of the fly and pulled then apart, giggling as the rest of his button-fly jeans popped free and left his jeans barely hanging on his hips.

Her head tilted upwards and he was smiling a broad smile she hadn't seen from him in a while. He winked at her. A laugh escaped her mouth, and then another. And before she knew it she was in a fit of giggles. She pulled his jeans down and he stepped out of them, and then she stood up, still laughing and pulled him into her arms.

"Why are you laughing?"

She pulled back, her arms still around him but her face in front of his. "I honestly don't know."

"Well I'm not complaining. You're gorgeous when you laugh." He lifted his chin and kissed the tip of her nose.

Her nose scrunched in response and she buried her face into his neck muttering, "You're gorgeous when you breathe."

"Nice one Mrs. Timberlake. Now why don't we cut the chit chat and get you out of these clothes. sound good?" His fingers were skimming up her back underneath her shirt.

"Ok." She kissed his neck sweetly and then pulled away from him.

They took their time undressing each other. Savoring the feeling of being cherished and loved by the other. Soon the only thing covering them were goosebumps from the cool air of the room and each other. His fingers were sliding up and down her spine, very softly. She had him encircled in his arms, holding on to him around his stomach, her hands flat on his back, squeezing their bodies tightly together.

Her breathing sharpened when his tongue touched hers and then glided lovingly through her mouth. His lips felt like heaven against hers, soft, full and wet. He pulled back sucking gently on her lower lip like he knew she loved. She smiled and it caused him to have to let go of her lip.

He smiled back.

"Let's get in bed." She whispered.

At first neither of them moved. They were too content being locked together there, standing. But finally she stepped backwards and found the bed. Her arms loosened their grip and finally she let him go and collapsed onto the bed and snuggled into the mattress.

Justin followed her actions and crawled up the bed behind her and then pulled the covers over them. Before he could do anything else she flipped around so she was facing him, her head laying gently on the pillow, resting on her side just like him, smiling.

"You are, so beautiful."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. She wanted to talk to him, to be normal with him once more. "Tell me about New York."

He didn't acknowledge her. His eyes were narrowed a little and his hand moved up to lightly touch her hair. "When your hair falls against your neck like that, I just, it makes me want to reach out and touch you, make sure that you are real."

"Really?" Meredith's brown eyes were now sparkling. Still not to their full potential, but it was still there. Her eyes were wide and she had a bright smile on her face.

"Yeah. And the way you are looking at me right now. It...It reminds me of when..."

"What?"

Justin bit his lip and looked down at the mattress, then directly into her eyes. "When I'm in you. It's this little shocked, loving, adorable look. You're making me wanna make love."

She cringed and shook her head. "I'm a little ti-"

His knuckles ran up and down her cheek as he nodded. "Angel I'm not saying we are going to make love. I'm just saying I WANT to. Let's wait till you are all good and better."

"So like tomorrow?"

He giggled at her innocent hopeful voice. "Yeah, so like tomorrow."

They laid there in silence. Her eyes were closed, letting her body rest. He watched her intently. Only a few inches separated them from contact, but it was the closest he had been with her, in months.

Her eyes opened and she whispered, "It's been so long." giving him a knowing look.

His dark blue eyes widened and he made a little face to exaggerate what he was saying. "Yeah boy, hast it."

"What's that supposed to mean. The beast getting tired of Mr. Right?" She poked at his chest and giggled, turning her face into her pillow as not to be too loud.

"Excuse me?"

She turned her head from where it was embedded in the pillow and smiled at him. "Are you getting tired of having to use your hand."

A pink started to fill Justin's face. His voice dropped to a whisper as if he was afraid someone else might hear. "Did you just say what I think you just said."

Meredith giggled once more and nodded, touching the tip of her finger to the tip of his nose for a moment. "Baby I've heard you."

Now his face was a full color of read. He gulped and looked at her like he was in pain. "y you have?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you ever ask me for help."

"I..I didn't want to bother you."

Her eyes left his and she bit her lip and made patterns on the mattress below them with her forefinger. "I just think you didn't want to make love to me."

Justin grabbed her hand and her eyes slowly traveled over his bare chest that could barely he seen, his neck, chin, lips, nose and finally..his eyes. "No Meredith. I don't want you to be my HELP for when I'm all turned on. I mean you make me turned on, but I don't want you to be "the help" for that kind of stuff. I...I haven't made love to you because too much has been on our minds. I don't want to make love if our minds are other places."

"But I don't mind helping. I like helping. I am your wife."

Justin smiled at her. "You never asked me to help."

"That's because I haven't DONE anything that you could help me with."

He nodded and blushed a little. "I guess it is kinda different between boys and girls."

"Calling yourself a boy?" She smirked at him and raised her lips to kiss him on the lips just once. But it was too tempting, and she had to go back in for a second.

His hand found her stomach under the covers and he ran his strong hand up and down the dip and curve of her waist and around to her back. "Well I haven't been acting like a man."

After a moments silence she timidly whispered. "What would you think about?"

His face had somehow gotten a lot closer to hers and his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. "Hmmm?"

She cleared her throat and tried not to gasp when she opened he opened his eyes and stared at her. "When you...did that stuff...wha- who would you think about."

"Only you. Always you. Never anyone else."

They stared at each other hard. "What would you imagine me doing."

"You really want me to say?"

He had a mischievous smile on his face but she was a serious as a heart attack. "Yes."

Justin shifted a little after she had breathed the word 'yes'. He whined and licked his now dry lips. "Baby this is making me a little uncomfortable."

He flushed under her stare and darted her eyes away from hers.

"Justin you've never been embarrassed about this stuff before. You are usually happy to talk to me about this stuff. Why is it different now?"

"Because..."

She placed her hand on his face and made him look at her. "What?"

"You're...You're making me..."

Her lips were so close to his she could feel the moisture of his breath on them and she could almost taste him. "Hard?"

"Yeah..."

The need to help him, please him, love him washed over her and before she knew it she was kissing his mouth passionately.

She pulled away breathless. "Tell me."

Her hand was on his chest, rubbing it slowly, massaging his pectoral muscles and moving back up to massage the back of his neck. "W- what are you doin."

"Tell me." Her voice was longing, wanting. She needed this.

Justin took a deep breath as her hand came back to his chest. "I..I would imagine us, usually in the shower because that's where I usually am. Imagine the water on your skin. Imagine the way you would look at me. The way your body would look...n-naked" He panted. "and wet.."

His lips searched for hers and they let their lips and tongue dance together for a few moments before he pulled away and whispered against her swollen lips. "I'd picture us making love."

"Slow or Fast?"

He whispered with a smirk, "Depending on my mood."

Her hand was now tracing the lines of his abdominal muscles. She stopped at his belly button and then lightly touched the line of hair that led down.

He was breathing hard and she knew he had forgetting about their game of tell all. She whispered slowly in his ear. "Would you imagine my mouth on you"

His voice choked and he closed his eyes and groaned. "Oh God. Baby it hurts."

She ignored his groans. "Or would you imagine my hand as yours. Like this." His eyes opened slowly staring deep into her eyes as her hand moved lower and lower and finally she encompassed him with her fingers and palm.

His mouth dropped open and breathing was labored. He tried to speak but no sound came from his mouth. She leaned in and kissed him. "Shhh...I know baby."

She scooted closer, allowing her to be as close as possible to him as her hand move over him. The stubble from his unshaven face scratched her as she rained kisses over his ears, forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, lips and anywhere else she could find on his face. He opened his eyes lazily, drunk with the feelings of pleasure that she was causing to ripple through him.

He mouthed something to her.

She smiled genuinely then responded to his mouthed words with just a weak, tired whisper. "I love you too." Back Forward