A couple of weeks later

There was a time, long ago when she had found rain relaxing. The constant, steady rhythm it had, and the soothing peacefulness that came with rain was like a lullaby. Or it use to be.

When she woke up from her Sunday afternoon nap, it was raining, and she figured it would do her mind wonders to go on the back porch underneath the awning they had in their "back porch" swing and curl up in a blanket and just sit and relax.

Relaxation was so far from her reach though. It was the first COLD rain in several months which meant one thing. Fall was approaching. With fall came things she didn't want to think about, such as holidays. Holidays meant family functions and in the past two weeks she had had enough "family" to fill her need for a good 5 years.

Everyday, every single day someone, her mom, his mom, his stepmom, her sister, her best friends, his best friends, someone had called to check on "them." They'd always start with the over excited "HEY! WHAT UP MERE?!?" and then after 2 minutes of boring filler conversation they would sober up and in a serious concerned voice say "Are you doing ok?" And she would swallow the urge to scream into the phone a, "what the fuck do you think?" with a polite, quiet "I'm hanging in there."

It was hard enough to suppress her on-edge emotions with everyone over the phone, but she didn't know how to do it in person. Going to work was hard enough. Her office door had ALWAYS stayed wide open, free for whoever to walk in for the past 7 years she worked at WEG.

And now, she made sure it was always closed.

What she hated the most was that Justin seemed happy as a calm. Like nothing had happened. After a horrible weekend after finding out that she was unable to have kids he put on a smile and went on with his life, as if nothing happened, like it wasn't that big of a deal.

Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. Oh well, she couldn't have kids. Who cares? Move on, right?

The rain started poring down a little harder, and she clutched the blanket around her tighter as a chill rushed over her. She prayed ever night that she could move on like he had, but something deep inside wouldn't let her. She couldn't just forget it all like he had.

There wasn't a moment in the day that she didn't think "I can't be the perfect wife for him" and that terrified her. That same thing deep inside told her that he hadn't just forgotten about this.

Maybe it was a stupid way for her base this on but, it had been 2 weeks and 2 days since they had last made love. It was the longest period they had gone without physically loving each other, ever. His promise to make love to her every night had failed. She couldn't help but wonder if he was just trying to get her back for not being able to give him that one thing, that one precious thing that she wanted more than her own life.

A baby.

A maple tree in their back yard was already turning a beautiful deep, dark red color. In a few weeks those red flowers would be littered across their backyard. Mental images of her playing in huge piles of leaves when she was a kid clouded her mind, and she tried to hold back the tears that weld up in her eyes as she remember how much fun she would have jumping in piles of leaves with her daddy.

Justin would never have a daughter, or son, to jump in leave with.

Her lungs sucked in the sharp pain that filled her body. Justin wouldn't be able to jump and she wouldn't be able to sing. Somehow the song "Baby Mine" from Disney's Dumbo filled her brain. She could remember clearly her mother singing her to sleep with that song.

Meredith would never get to sing her baby to sleep. She would never have a baby to sing to.

"Stop it."

She hit the seat of the barely swinging bench hard, biting her nails into her palm. She let her knuckles turn white and she gritted her teeth. She tried so incredibly hard not to think about this. She tried not to let the idea of being "barren" or whatever it was not get to her. But it was like her mind was tuned into the baby channel. She couldn't get it off. baby baby baby baby. IT was almost like a horror flick, repeating in her mind, chanting, haunting, not letting her sleep.

She hated horror movies. Ever since she had seen her first one, she hated them. And now she was living a horror movie.

"Angel?"

She gasped.

Her head turned so sharply that she almost pulled a muscle. It had been forever since she had heard him call her that.

"Baby, what are you doing out here? You are gonna get sick."

"I just...um..it was relaxing out here." Her face was pale and eyes wide, still in shock from the fact that he had called her...'angel.'

He smiled and pointed inside the glass door that led to their kitchen. "Well get inside where its warm. Me and Chris brought back some food, wanna eat?"

"What is it?" She asked while picking up the blanket and wrapping it around her so it wouldn't drag on the floor. She walked towards him as he smirked.

"Your favorite."

"My favorite?"

"Yeah, Me!" With a simple kiss on the nose he giggled and managed to steal her breath in the same moment. She was shocked. He rubbed her shoulders when they tensed up. "I'm kiddin love, Mexican."

Her body leaned against him and she would have wrapped her arms around his slim waist in an urge to get him closer, but her arms were entrapped by her blanket. He did the work for her and enveloped her in a tight hug. When he started humming an old Stevie Wonder tune she knew something was up. "J Justin...why are you in such a good mood?"

Lips grazed her neck, scattering goosebumps all over her skin. "Do I need a reason? I had a great day in the studio. Chris had a funny ass story about his date last night, that he WILL be telling you about, and I don't know. I'm at home, with you, my beautiful SEXY wife." His lips were now making their way up her neck and over her chin, and she couldn't help but jump when his hands moved over her ass through the blanket.

So he was taking advantage of her on their back porch, but she didn't get a damn. He hadn't touched her like this in so long and it felt so go just to have him near, touching her, loving her, kissing her.

His lips were so close to hers, right at the corner of her mouth. If she was smart she would have turned her head and clamped her lips on his. She wanted to feel those lips on hers, pulling and sucking and loving and all those wonderful things he knew how to do. He was an amazing kisser and she had been missing the feeling of her husband kiss her, in the way that only he knew how. But right now she was too shocked to move. It seemed like he was shocked as well because he wasn't moving, and his breathing was staggered against her cheek.

Her eyes slowly opened and she looked at him, inches away, eyes squeezed shut as if he was in pain. If she could have touched him she would have, but that damn blanket was in her way. "Justin..."

"EY! EY! No nookie when the Kirkpatrick is in the house!"

The in-pain Justin she just saw disappeared at the first "ey" Chris yelled and he shot up and wrapped Meredith in his arms and started dancing a little in spite of Chris's comments. "We would never do that. US? How dare you say that Christopher."

Chris rolled his eyes as Justin pulled away and walked into the house, Meredith timidly following him. Her outrageous friend kissed her on the cheek as she past. "How you miss m?"

She smiled genuinely and shrugged, the bulky blanket moving with her. "I'm ok."

"That's good." She eyed Justin as he danced towards the bags of Mexican they had lying on the kitchen counter. He seemed like he was on cloud 9 as he pulled out plates and other things.

She shook her head, pulling the blanket from her body and stuffing it in a empty chair at the kitchen table then propped herself up on the island as Chris plopped down on a chair, straddling it. "Justin said you had a date."

He nodded with a smile. "mmmhmm. It was great!"

"What's her name? Where's she from, how you meet her. Details Chris come on!" For the first time in a while Meredith's eyes twinkled with her smile. It was partly her interest in Chris's date, but she knew most of it had to do with Justin's affection.

"Well, her name is Ellen. She's from Orlando, but grew up in Arizona. I met her at the grocery store actually."

Meredith nodded and asked. "Where did you go last night?

"Well um, actually my house."

Her eyes widened and her mouthed dropped. She could hear Justin chuckling behind her, where he was fixing their dinner. "what?! on a first date you took her HOEM?!?"

Chris cringed but tried to make his nice seem as innocent as possible. "Well yeah. I cooked. We played Playstation 3 and stuff."

"Oh my god, she played Playstation with you?"

"Yeah she's really cool."

Meredith's scratched her forehead with one of her hands. "How old is she?"

"33."

A grin found its way on to her lips and she nodded as Chris started to turn a slight color of pink. "mmhmm..."

She jumped when Justin's over-joyous voice boomed from behind her. "Dude you are skipping the best part."

Chris's forehead wrinkled. "You mean the kiss goodnight?"

Justin skipped around to where Meredith was sitting on the island and stood in front of her, pushing back on her jean covered knees so she would spread her legs and he could lean against the counter, at that particular part. "Hell no! The part about Busta."

Chris pointed an accusatory finger at his younger friend. "Justin shut your trap."

Justin just giggled and picked up Meredith's calves and wrapped her legs around his torso. He shook his head and leaned his head back on her shoulder. "Oh my god baby, its soo funny."

"It's not FUNNY!"

Justin nodded against her and chuckled. "YES IT IS!"

The shock from Justin's motions make her voice quieter than she intended. "What? I wanna know."

Justin started laughing so hard she had to wrap her arms around his shoulders to keep him still. "Busta threw up on the chick."

"WHAT!?" Meredith's mouthed dropped and she didn't know whether to laugh or feel incredible sorry.

Chris sighed in a whimper, trying to explain his version of the story. "You know how he's been having all those problems because he's well...old as everything."

"Yeah."

"well the medicine I give him makes his stomach hurt."

Meredith smiled. "Awww..."

"And he got sick last night and I couldn't hear him hacking because we were laughing and talking and I looked down and he was just...it was all over her shoes..."

Meredith gagged and shook her head. "Eww..I don't wanna eat now."

It was then when Justin untangled himself from her limbs and pulled the plate of Mexican he had fix for them and sat it beside her. "Nope you gotta eat. I'll feed you if you don't."

"Spare me." She said sarcastically at him. It was playful. She was being playful. She was amazed for the first time in a long time she had been able to totally forget about all her "problems."

"She must not have minded me too much. We are going to her place next weekend."

Meredith smiled at him as he took the plate that Justin handed him and turned around in his chair so he could eat. "Well damn, the busta thing would have scared me off."

Justin walked to the fridge and asked. "So you given up on Christina?"

"She has JC to scamper with."

Meredith looked at Justin and then at Chris's back, interested as if this was top secret information. "Is that really happening?"

"Ohh yeah." Chris nodded.

Justin hit the back of his friends head as he set down a coke can on the table. "No its not."

Chris turned around and scoffed at Justin. "Yeah it is."

By now Justin had already positioned himself beside Meredith, cutting their dinner into smaller portions and then feeding her. "Dude have you talked to Josh about this?"

Chris sighed and twirled his fork in the air as a means of getting his point across. "No, but you can see. They flirt like two horny kids in physic's class."

Meredith and Justin both looked at his back with weird expression. "what?"

"nothing."

Justin smiled as Meredith timidly accepted the food he was offering her and then continued feeding himself, then her, in an alternate manner. By now she was over her shock and just happy that he was being playful with her. She wasn't going to fight him, she was going to let him do pretty much whatever the hell he wanted with her, because hell, he was DOING something with her besides just sleeping in the same bed and passing each other in a room. "But serious man, I asked JC about it the other day. He said they were just friends, nothing more. In fact he said he didn't have time for a girlfriend right now. And if he did it wouldn't be Christina because they are too good of friends."

"Awww."

Justin took his thumb and wiped away some salsa that had dripped down her chin and then licked it off his own figure with a smirk. "Aww what?"

Meredith bit her lip and cringed. "I think Chris has a crush on him REAL bad."

Justin scoffed at Meredith's answer like she was an idiot, making her giggle. "Well duh."

Chris seemed to have scarfed down his food and now was taking his empty plate to their sink. He touched his hand to his chest and smiled arrogantly. "Well one day she will come to her senses and go for a REAL guy such as myself."

Meredith shook her head and accepted the next forkful of her dinner Justin was offering her. "You dork."

The fork from Justin's hand clanged against the dish and he took a napkin and wiped his hands and mouth. "Oh I almost forgot. I was going to show you that thing momma got me."

Chris nodded and came over to inspect Meredith and Justin's dinner. "Yeah."

"I'll go get it."

Once Justin had left their sight Meredith whispered. "Chris, what did you give him?"

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you mean?"

Meredith pointed in the direction her husband had just disappeared. "He..he's not been this happy since...you know."

Chris shrugged and looked up at her. "He's been this way for about a week I'd say."

"N..not around me. This is the most he's said to me in the past two weeks combined. And...I..I don't know. It..It's almost like he's f forgotten..." Her voice was shaky. She didn't know whether it was because all these mixed emotions were hitting her or if because Justin had left her line of sight.

Chris turned to face her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them affectionately. "He hasn't forgotten it Mere. I think he's just, trying to deal with this in the way he knows how. You know him. He doesn't like being emotional."

She bowed her head and sighed. "I just, I've missed him."

"What do you mean..."

But before she got a chance to answer Justin's voice echoed through the room. "Prepare for jealously my dear CK. Prepare for jealously."

Chris squeezed her hands once more before letting them go.

------

Later that night...

She was roused by tapping on her foot, through the covers and her name being softly called. She stirred but didn't open her eyes.

"what?" She groaned. She was having the best sleep she had had in what seemed like ages and now someone was bothering her.

But it wasn't just someone. It was him. Though she couldn't see him she knew he still had that playful gleam in his eyes just by hearing his childlike voice whisper "Angel? are you awake?"

He had showed Chris his wonderful, one of a kind, only 300 or so made Michael Jordan poster his mother had sent him a few days ago and they had been taken into a world of sports. She politely had excused herself, taken a shower and watched TV before drifting off to sleep.

But now she was drifting awake.

"Angel. Are you awake?"

"Nooo..." She groaned and slung and arm over her eyes.

"Meredith!"

She groaned and opened her eyes. "What? I'm trying to sleep!"

The big pouty look he had on his face faded into a huge cheesy Timberlake smile and he simply took a remote that was in his hand and pressed a button, before tossing the remote into a big comfy chair they had in the corner of their bedroom.

She immediately recognized the tune by the Four Tops and when he started singing and moving his hips she couldn't help the giggle from escaping her lips. "Sugar pie, honey bunch! you know that I love you. I cant help my self...I love you and no body else.."

She couldn't believe it. He was standing there dancing and singing for her in just his boxers. She figured he and Chris must have kicked back a few beers while she was sleeping.

It was then when he started staring at her like he was going to say something. But he didn't. He just stared. She stared back at him wondering where all his playfulness went. Fear and nervousness washed over her and she wondered if maybe he was coming to his senses, maybe his playfulness was just an act for when Chris was here.

But just as her fears began to build up he pointed to her and moved his shoulders to the beat. "When I call your name, girl it starts to flame...burning in my heart...tearing it all apart...no matter how I try..my love I cannot hide...OHHH" With that he bent down and tugged on the comforter and sheet and lifted it so he could dive under the sheets with her.

She didn't know whether to laugh at his insanity or cry because she was actually happy.

"You know that I'm weak for you." She heard his muffled voice sing as he made his way up the bed, and then he finally popped his head out from under the rumpled covers. "hey baby!"

"Yeah, umm hey. Have you gone insane."

He nodded with a bright smile. "Yup."

"You've been drinking haven't you."

His smile faded. "umm no."

"Really?"

"Nope." she felt his fingers playing with her oversized t shirt, and she had to wonder, what was going on in that brain of his.

"Well then what's got you all riled up?"

"It's simple really." She sucked in a deep breath when she felt his cool hands touch the warm skin of her stomach. His hand grabbed her waist and he pulled her so that she was laying on top of him. Her eyes widened when he made her straddle him and he pushed his hips off the mattress so she could feel him intimately pressing into her, only the thin layer of his underwear and hers keeping them from bliss. "I..." He stopped and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"You what?"

She felt his hands move from her waist and he lifted her shirt to right under her breast. She felt weird having him stare at her stomach with an expressionless face. Her brown eyes stared at his blue ones for a moment and finally he let his hands drop her shirt back in place and he pulled on her arms so she was leaning over him. She could feel his hips wiggling into hers, and she was surprised at how much he was effected by...something. She didn't know if he was turned on by her or if he was just horny, but she wasn't about to complain if it was going to let her be close to him in the way that she wanted to be.

His eyes were staring at her lips and she was praying that he was going kiss her. She was praying so hard. "Justin what is it?"

His playful tone was gone and he didn't move his gaze from her mouth when he whispered. "I need to be in you."

If she was shocked before she didn't know what to call this. But Before she had time to discover what it was she was feeling his lips were on hers, his hands were pulling off her shirt and she figured to hell with thinking. It was all she had done for two weeks.

Tonight she was just going to do and feel and not think about anything but his body.

Plus, he hadn't been this way with her for so long. Maybe it was just him showing her that they would get through this, that nothing had really changed from before. Maybe it was his way of showing her that he still loved her. Maybe it he just wanted to make love to her.

Too many maybes were floating around in her mind, and she had just promised herself she wasn't going to think, she was going to feel. At least for tonight.

So she allowed his lips, and hands, and hips, and eyes please her, and love her. With one last thought; that maybe if she forgot everything, like he had, and they would be ok, she let herself fall and be completely lost in everything that was him. Back Forward