During the days that followed their encounter with the Spinosaurus, Alan and Ellie managed to stay busy, but they remained within the confines of the dormitory for safety�s sake. Several times each day, Alan went up to the roof with a pair of binoculars, searching the surrounding terrain and the distant plains and clearings for any indication that the peaceful plant eaters were moving back into the area, but each time, he saw only empty fields.
The Spinosaurus was also conspicuously absent as Alan scanned the distant hills and valleys, but they did not settle for chance. It had been in the area for a long time without detection, so it seemed wise to remain indoors until absolutely certain that it had moved on.
Using the small two-and-a-half-inch screens on the two camcorders, the two scientists poured over tape after tape, meticulously documenting and cataloguing the contents of each one. Since Ellie�s arrival, Alan had become unusually lax in his record-keeping, but now, with no reason to leave the compound, they joined forces to complete the task. With Ellie�s assistance, the job was completed in nearly half the time than it would have on his own, but it was still a daunting task requiring a great deal of time. When the documentation of the most recent tapes was finished, Alan brought out the tapes he had recorded before Ellie�s arrival. It provided a unique opportunity for her to see first-hand the work that Alan had been performing since his arrival the previous summer.
When they weren�t working on the tapes, there were always the mundane housekeeping chores that Ellie insisted should be done. The kitchen and bathroom floors were scrubbed spotless, and the windows were washed until they glistened. They attacked the cobwebs in the corners with brooms, and wiped down the walls with a damp cloth, marveling at the amount of dirt that had accumulated there. �It�s a wonder we don�t have allergies with all this dust!� she complained more than once.
Alan bore up to the housekeeping chores with a tolerant smile, pleased that she was showing so much interest in the things around her. It was a far cry from the vacant eyes that he had seen looking back at him when she had first arrived on the island.
Every few days, with Ellie standing lookout on the deck overhead, Alan ventured into his garden to pick the ripened vegetables and cultivate as necessary. Each time, there was no indication that danger was lurking anywhere in the vicinity.
And each morning, they continued Ellie�s physical fitness routine. That, in conjunction with the fresh vegetables and clean air provided by their wilderness living, she continued to see steady and significant progress in the recovery of her health.
Nine days after they had encountered the Spinosaurus, Ellie was in her cubical making her bed when she heard Alan�s excited voice calling urgently from the roof.
�Ellie! Come up here!�
Leaving the bed for later, Ellie left her cubical and climbed the stairs to the roof, curious to see what had inspired his enthusiasm. There, she paused to look around, turning a complete circle as her bewildered eyes searched for the paleontologist who was nowhere to be seen. Only the deck tables and chairs and the rain barrels were in sight � and curiously, an aluminum ladder, propped against the edge of the awning.
Wondering if she had mistaken his location, she called, �Alan?�
�Up here!� he responded.
Moving out from under the awning, she looked up and found that he was standing on top of it, affording him an extra eight feet of height for a better view of the surrounding countryside. He was holding a pair of binoculars, which he lowered to smile down at her over the edge.
�Come on up,� he urged. �The view is incredible!�
Reluctant to climb that ladder with no one supporting it from below, she walked over to it to see how he had secured it. He had placed the ladder against one of the tables, so that the bottom rung was propped against a table leg to keep it from sliding. Because the tables were bolted to the ceiling, it provided a stable support.
Carefully, she climbed up the ladder and stepped onto the wooden sunshade. Alan offered his hand to help steady her.
When she was firmly on her feet atop the wooden awning, he passed her the binoculars, and pointed across the landscape. �Look over there!� Without waiting for her to look through the glasses, he said, excitedly, �The longnecks are back!�
Raising the binoculars to her eyes, she adjusted the lenses to suit her own visual needs, and saw that several living objects were moving slowly through a distant clearing. They were very far away, even with the aid of the binoculars, but she recognized the massive bodies and long necks of the Brachiosaurus. They lumbered slowly among the trees at the edge of the clearing, browsing on the tree tops. Ellie glimpsed another snake-like neck at a lower position than the others.
�I think there may be an infant with them,� she commented with mounting excitement. Shifting the binoculars slightly, she spotted a smaller creature as it emerged from the forest. She squinted into the lenses and finally was able to distinguish the unique trio of horns protruding from its head and the protective frill that rose from the back of its skull. �A Trike has just joined them.�
Alan abruptly touched her arm to attract her attention. �Look over there!� he told her, directing her to their left.
Ellie turned in the direction indicated, and saw a small group of Parasaurolophus were watering at the stream that cut through the valley. �That�s wonderful!� she exclaimed. �That must mean that the Spinosaurus has moved out of the area!�
�That�s my thinking. We�ll head out after breakfast and have a closer look.�
Spurred on by the excitement of returning to the field, they prepared a quick breakfast of cold cereal, then gathered their gear and set out across the field again, confident that the worst of the giant flesh-eaters had moved on to other parts of the island in search of game.
Hours later, Ellie observed the scene that lay before her through the viewfinder of Alan�s primary camcorder, which was perched atop a tripod to steady the picture. The point of interest was the migratory behavior of the creatures as they returned in small herds to their preferred feeding grounds. The small group of Parasaurolophus seemed quite content to remain where they were, grazing on the lush vegetation as the majority of the other animals continued their trek to whatever part of the island they favored.
They were set up near a wide crystal clear stream in a fertile valley, filming the animals as they came to quench their thirst. The stream was obviously a major watering hole for the animals, for they were almost completely surrounded by plant-eaters of varying species that included Brachiosaurs, Ankylosaurus, Stegosaurus, Maiasaurus, and Triceratops. The animals in the herds paused at the stream without apparent fear, and a few inquisitive members occasionally advanced closer to get a better look at the two humans before stopping to graze or proceeding to other feeding grounds in other parts of the island.
As Ellie monitored her subjects through the viewfinder, she felt something nibbling at the hem of her blouse. Turning, she found an adolescent Parasaurolophus had approached from behind and seemed particularly interested in her blouse. She turned around, and gently pushed the animal�s muzzle away. She had a limited number of blouses on the island -- she could not afford to lose one.
"Go away," she said. Her voice was kind to avoid startling the animal.
The young hadrosaur raised its head and gazed at her through placid, curious eyes. Seeing no fear in those gentle eyes, Ellie impulsively reached out with a slow, steady hand to stroke its soft muzzle. It jerked its head back quickly at the initial contact, but it apparently felt no sense of alarm, for it reached for her again until its muzzle touched her hand. This time, it did not pull away, but allowed her to stroke its head, apparently enjoying the contact. Recalling the way Jack, her parrot, enjoyed it when she scratched his colorfully feathered head, she raised her hand slowly to the bony crest that protruded backward from the top of its head, and gently rubbed with her fingertips. The duckbilled dinosaur lowered its head in obvious pleasure, and moved closer.
Alan, holding the other camcorder, had been watching with interest, recording the unique aspect of human-dinosaur interaction, and smiling at the fact that Ellie seemed to be enjoying the physical contact as much as the young hadrosaur. It occurred to him at that moment that her demeanor had changed dramatically in the two and a half weeks that she had been there with him. She was finding joy in life again, and in witnessing her enjoyment, he was finding his own source of pleasure.
The trumpeting call of an adult Parasaurolophus rose above the sounds of the other animals, and the youngster lifted its head again, recognizing its mother�s call. Reluctantly but obediently, it lumbered toward her. Ellie kept her hand outstretched, retaining physical contact for as long as possible until it moved out of reach. The young dinosaur�s posture reminded Ellie of the time Charlie had been in trouble, and had come to her with slumped shoulders to endure his �time out�.
The adult female nuzzled her offspring as if inspecting it, then, apparently satisfied that it was unharmed, she returned to her browsing.
While Alan and Ellie continued filming the young dinosaur as it rejoined its parent, both were vaguely aware that a Brachiosaurus, was approaching them on their right. It had been nibbling on the nearby treetops, but something about them had attracted its attention, and it moved slowly toward them.
Neither Alan nor Ellie paid it much heed. The only real danger was being stepped on, but, like most animals, they did not like to step on objects if it could be avoided. It knew they were there, so they were confident that it would not bother them.
The animal stopped some fifteen feet away, and stood there for several moments, watching them with such intense curiosity that Ellie tilted the handle on the tripod so that the camera was angled toward its head. With surprise, she realized that it was staring at Alan. Finally, it arched its long neck and lowered its small head to sniff Alan�s fedora. Alan looked up in surprise at the unexpected contact, lowering the hand-held camera at the same time, and then, to the amazement of both him and Ellie, the animal seized the hat in its teeth and lifted it off the man�s head.
"Hey!" Alan protested, reaching up to reclaim his hat, but it was already out of reach. He jumped up once in a futile attempt to reclaim his possession from the mouth of the prehistoric thief, and felt as foolish as he looked when he fell well short of his goal. The hat was quickly carried aloft to a height of more than twenty feet, and was rapidly being chewed to pieces. Several bits of cloth rained down around him, but there was nothing he could do but watch as his beloved fedora was totally destroyed.
Finally, deciding that the cloth hat was not palatable, the Brachiosaur dropped what was left of the hat to the ground at Alan�s feet, and ambled over to the stream. It lowered its head to the water, and drank deeply.
Bending over, Alan picked up the remnants of his hat to gaze at it mournfully. �Why are these islands so devastating to my hats?� he wondered aloud. With a sigh, he dropped it back to the ground. It was totally ruined.
Ellie�s laughter reached his ears, and he glanced at her with a sheepish smile, embarrassed that she had witnessed that indignity.
"You should have seen yourself!" she cried, gleefully, gesturing toward her camera. "I got it all on tape!"
Holding her sides, she backed away from the tripod, fearful of knocking over the camera, as her laughter rose in volume. Soon, she was totally hysterical, and the sound of her uncontrollable laughter inspired him to laugh as well.
After so many years apart, it felt good to laugh with her again, even if the source of her hilarity was at his expense.
"I guess I did look pretty funny," he admitted. "However, I assure you, no one but us will ever see that portion of the tape!"
She was shrieking with laughter at his indignant comment, but then her laughter changed to tears so abruptly that his smile vanished with sudden alarm. Her body, overcome by the agony of her loss, shook uncontrollably, and her breath was drawn in ragged, heaving gasps as great sobs tore at her throat. The anguish she had been holding back for the past three months ruptured in a flood of tears. The dam had finally burst.
Laying the hand-held camera down on the grass, Alan rushed to her side and caught her as she collapsed into his arms. Gently, he lowered her to the ground, and he sat there in the cool grass, rocking her as she wept. She clutched the fabric of his shirt in one fist, as if desperate to hold on to him, and beat the other fist against his chest in frustration and hopelessness.
"They�re dead!" she sobbed. "Oh, Alan! My babies are dead!�
"I know, honey. I know," he said, softly, stroking her hair, trying to comfort her, but she only wept harder against his shirt.
"Oh, God, I miss them so much!"
Witnessing the magnitude of her agony was almost more than Alan could endure. As he rested his cheek against her head, his throat constricted painfully and tears welled in his eyes in response to her anguish. He felt totally helpless to ease her pain. All he could do was hold her and try to console her.
�I wish I could hold them again!� she sobbed, her body convulsing forcefully. �I just want to hold them! Oh, God, Alan, please hold me! I need you to hold me!�
He tightened his embrace. Resting his cheek against the top of her head, he stroked her hair and her arm with his hand in a futile attempt to soothe her. He had not cried in years, and he fought the urge valiantly. The tears that had filled his eyes spilled down his cheeks and mingled with her blonde hair and his chest heaved as he struggled to control his emotions.
�I�m so sorry, honey, I�m so sorry,� he said, his throat aching.
She clung to him for comfort until, after a long time, her sobs began to subside, and she sat still, content to stay in his arms, soothed by his presence. Silently, he held her, patiently waiting for her to determine when she was ready to draw away from the embrace.
Finally, she drew back to look into his face, surprised to see the wetness on his cheeks. She reached up to rub the tears from his face, but did not ask him to explain. She understood that he had suffered her pain with her.
"Do you want to go back to the compound?" he asked, wiping his sleeve against his eyes to dry them.
She nodded. Her enthusiasm over their studies was temporarily vanquished. All around them, the animals totally ignored them. They went on about their browsing or watering, so totally oblivious to the life-altering accident that had claimed the woman�s family.
Alan stood up and offered his hand to her. She accepted his assistance, and was pulled to her feet. She stood rather unsteadily, her legs strangely feeble. Her body felt deflated, totally spent of every ounce of strength she possessed, but she knew her weakness was not physical this time; it was emotional.
He began to gather up the cameras and supplies, but when she moved to help, he stopped her. "I�ll get it."
So, she stood back and watched as he collected all their gear and stowed it in the backpacks. The primary camera and tripod were left attached together; he merely folded up the legs and carried it as one unit. His other arm was placed protectively around her shoulders, and together they made their way back toward the dormitory.
Darkness had long since fallen over the compound.
After returning to the dormitory, Ellie had remained depressed. She still felt fatigued, drained of energy, and had no desire to do anything. She had retreated to the living room, and sat quietly listening to music on the radio. Insisting that she rest, Alan had prepared supper, of which Ellie had eaten very little, and then he had washed the dishes. When the task was completed, he returned to the living room and stood in the doorway for several minutes, watching her with a worried crease on his brow.
Instead of turning on the high-watt bulb in the reading lamp beside the sofa, she had elected instead to turn on a low-watt floor lamp that stood in the corner of the room. In the dusky light, she still sat on the sofa, her eyes downcast and her long blonde hair softly framing her face. She looked more depressed than he had ever seen her, but he knew that the emotional healing process was beginning. The worst of it was behind her.
As if she had suddenly sensed his presence, she lifted her head and turned toward the doorway. "Hi," she said, forcing a smile as she reached over and turned off the radio.
"Hi," he responded.
He entered the room and after a moment�s hesitation, wondering if he should sit with her on the sofa to offer comfort or take a chair nearby to give her some distance, he elected to sit down beside her. Welcoming the comfort he offered, she moved closer to him, snuggling against him. He placed his arm around her, and she rested her head against his shoulder draping her arm across his abdomen. He felt her other arm slip behind him between his back and the cushion. He shifted slightly to prevent her arm from going numb. They sat like that for a long time, neither moving nor speaking, content to just be together.
Finally, Ellie broke the silence with a trace of embarrassment in her voice. "I�m sorry I fell apart like that. I never wanted you to see me in that condition.�
He rubbed his hand up and down her arm, soothingly. "That�s okay," he replied, speaking against her hair.
"I actually feel better, now,� she admitted. �I keep hearing people talk about closure, and I didn�t really understand what they meant until now. I didn�t get to attend the funerals, so it�s like it was unreal to me; like there was no conclusion. I visited their graves and left flowers, but I would stand there looking down at the markers thinking that they couldn�t really be there, that it just couldn�t have been real. I still feel empty inside, but I accept it, now. Mom told me months ago that I needed a good cry to put things to rest. I don�t know why I was unable to cry. I didn�t even cry when I found out they had died."
"You were probably in shock."
"Yeah, I guess so."
Several more moments of silence settled over them again as both of them thought about the accident. Alan, who knew very little about it, had refrained from bringing up the painful memories since her arrival, concerned about how she would react. Now, sensing that she was finally ready to talk about it, he asked, "How did it happen?"
For several more moments, she remained silent, as if reluctant to speak of it. Misinterpreting her silence as an indication that he had upset her again, he found himself wishing he had withheld his question.
�I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have ---�
�No, its okay,� she assured him. She took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. "We were going out to dinner that night to celebrate the publication of my book.�
�The book you were writing last summer?�
�Yes. We had made reservations at a nice restaurant, but Mark got tied up at the office, so we got a late start. Mom had volunteered to watch the kids, and we were on our way there to drop them off." She paused for a long moment, either gathering her courage or checking her emotions before proceeding. "A drunk driver sped through a stop sign without headlights doing fifty miles an hour, and struck Mark�s side of the car. I don�t really remember what happened next. I woke up three days later in the hospital. I hurt so bad I almost couldn�t stand it. I had multiple internal injuries, primarily in the abdominal region."
She felt him flinch, as if physically pained by her injuries. "The scars?" he asked.
She nodded her head up and down against the fabric of his shirt. "Emergency surgery. They removed my spleen, repaired a deep laceration in my liver caused by a broken rib, and . . . and they had to perform a hysterectomy. I can�t have any more children."
He closed his eyes, saddened by the news that her dream of having children had been cruelly taken from her, and visibly shaken by the reality that she had come so close to death. He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Oh, Ellie. I�m so sorry."
She shifted the position of her head on his shoulder, moving her forehead so that it rested against his neck. "I would be okay with that if I hadn�t lost Charlie and Halley.� She sighed heavily, her despair evident in the slight quiver he heard in her exhalation. �I�m not sure I want any more kids anyway, you know? I don�t think I could stand to go through something like this again, and there are no guarantees in life, are there? But it would have been nice to have the option, if I change my mind sometime down the road.�
He didn�t know how to respond to that. As a man who had never experienced any real desire to father children, he was unfamiliar with that bond of love known only to parents. �I know,� he said, simply to acknowledge her words.
�They didn�t want to tell me anything at first, but I knew,� she continued without being prompted. �I knew my husband and my children were gone. When I asked, they told me that Mark and Halley were killed instantly, that they didn�t suffer any pain or anything, like that would make it easier for me to bear. Charlie lived for several hours, and they thought at first that he was going to make it, but he started to hemorrhage. They couldn�t stop the bleeding. He never regained consciousness. The damn drunk only had a few broken bones and minor injuries. He�s in prison for felony drunk driving and three counts of involuntary manslaughter, but putting him away doesn�t make up for what I lost. It�s all so senseless. Why do people do such foolish things?"
He shrugged. �I wish I knew, Ellie.�
She fell silent for a long time, then added, "My whole family, Alan. All of them, gone. My children barely even had a chance to live at all. Even if I could have kept one of them, either of them, I would have been so grateful."
�There is always adoption,� he suggested. �There are so many children out there who need a permanent home.�
She was quiet for a moment, apparently thinking about that, then said, �I don�t know, Alan. I don�t know if I could love someone else�s child like my own. Maybe . . . someday.�
He tightened his embrace, squeezing her briefly in a gesture of deep affection. �You�re the most loving person I know, Ellie. When the time comes, I have no doubt that you�ll be able to transfer that love to another child.�
She did not answer, indicating that it was a subject she was not yet ready to explore.
Abandoning the subject of children, he said, �I wish I had known. I would have been there for you."
She raised her head to look searchingly into his face. "You would have come all that distance?"
"In a heartbeat.�
�I knew you would,� she whispered. �I knew you still cared.�
�I�ll always care, Ellie. Don�t ever doubt that for a minute.�
With a sigh, she laid her head down on his shoulder again, and for a long time, neither said anything more. The silence was almost total, broken only by the occasional call of a wild animal in the distance or the normal creaking of the building. Eventually, they heard the deep rumble of thunder, and finally, the soft patter of a gentle rain shower. Occasionally, the windows were illuminated by a flash of lightning.
Listening to the soothing sounds, Alan�s eyelids grew heavy, and he rested his cheek on top of her head, allowing his eyes to close, content to allow his drowsiness to overtake him. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, her voice penetrated that deepening fog of slumber.
"Alan?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled, sleepily.
"Make love to me."
His eyes popped open, jolted wide-awake by her unexpected request. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, totally at a loss for words.
Realizing by his shocked silence that she had caught him off guard, she raised her head to look into his startled face as she said, "I really need you tonight. I want to make love with you." When he still did not respond, she took the initiative. Shifting position and withdrawing her arms from around his waist, she moved her hands to the front of his shirt and her fingers slowly began forcing the buttons through the button holes.
Her assertiveness finally motivated him into a response, but it was not the one he wanted to make. He wanted her as much as she claimed to want him, but instead of succumbing to the temptation to give in, he drew a deep breath and grasped her hand, stopping her. "Ellie, no. We can�t."
He saw a trace of hurt in the blue eyes that gazed back at him, still slightly puffy and red from weeping. "Yes, we can. I�m not married any more, and I�m ready to move on now. Please, I want you. I need you."
He looked away, toward the dark window, avoiding her intense gaze. It was difficult enough to turn her down without looking into those imploring eyes. "No, you don�t need me, Ellie," he said, softly. �You need to take time to heal.�
She looked away, offended by what she perceived to be an unspoken basis for his reluctance to make love to her. Was he telling her that he was not interested in pursuing a relationship with her, now that she was free? "Am I so unattractive because of my scars?" she asked with a slightly accusatory tone to her voice.
This was more than he could stand. He rose up abruptly, cradling her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him and noticing that her eyes were filling with tears. "I don�t care about the scars!� he declared. �With or without them, you�re the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and I will always want you -- you have no idea how much! But you�re vulnerable, right now. You don�t know what you�re saying."
"I know my own mind, Alan," she said, insulted. �Why is it that men always think that women don�t know what they�re saying?�
"That isn�t what I�m suggesting, Ellie. I know you want me tonight, and God knows I want you, too, but tomorrow, in the light of day, you would hate me for taking advantage of you. I couldn�t stand that."
"I could never hate you, Alan." She raised her hands to caress his cheek. "And you wouldn�t be taking advantage of me; it�s my idea, not yours."
"Ellie, honey, you�re killing me!" he told her, his voice shaking slightly. "We can�t do this! Not here. Not now. Not like this. You�re a widow, and you�re just now coming to terms with your loss. If we made love tonight, it wouldn�t be right."
She could feel him trembling beneath her hands, and knew he was struggling not to give in to a need that had been long denied. Deep inside, she knew he was right, but she still felt rejected. She nodded, tersely. �All right, if that�s the way you want it.� Abruptly, she stood up and strode from the room.
Alan watched her go, then fell back against the sofa back with a deep sigh of despair as her footsteps echoed through the silent building as she rushed up the stairs. Her final statement had been untruthful. It wasn�t the way he had wanted it!
Alan remained in the living room for more than an hour to allow Ellie time to fall asleep before he went up, but it gave him plenty of time to think about her emotional trauma and her unexpected invitation. It had been just about the last thing he had expected her to ask of him, and he feared he had handled it badly. He knew her yearning had been spawned by the emotional roller coaster ride she had endured that day, and he had no doubt that she would feel differently about it in the morning. He hoped that she would understand why he had resisted, but he was very concerned that this incident would change things between them. Because of her embarrassment and his rejection of her, he feared they would no longer be comfortable around each other. She might even be bitter enough to leave the island.
Two and a half weeks ago, he would have welcomed her decision to leave, believing it was the best thing for her. If she made that decision tomorrow, he would contact Miguel for her, but his feelings on the subject had changed completely. Now, the thought of spending even another week on that island completely alone was something he no longer wanted to do.
Would granting her request really be such a bad thing? he wondered. Yes, it would, his conscience responded immediately. She�s still grieving. What would she think of you in the morning? She would resent you for taking advantage of her!
In frustration, he covered his face with his hands, then dragged his fingers through his hair on both sides of his head. How could one small sentence spoken by a grieving woman complicate things so desperately?
Finally, after much consideration and a flurry of conflicting emotions, he went upstairs to go to bed, but as he reached the head of the stairs, he saw the light was on in the exercise room. Curiously, he moved toward it. From the doorway, he observed her silently as she worked with the weights, desperately trying to recover her strength and her health � and probably working off the frustration she had felt at his negative response. From the door, he could see that her face was streaked with a fresh flood of tears; tears of disappointment and rejection.
He felt bad that he had hurt her feelings. Hurting her was the last thing in the world he wanted to do, but it could not be avoided this time. He knew he had done the right thing, and hoped that she would realize it too, once she overcame the sting of his rejection.
Without speaking, he backed away from the doorway before she spotted him, and returned to his cubicle to prepare for bed.
He was still lying awake in his bed when he heard her soft footsteps enter the room a short time later. She slipped quietly into her cubical, and he listened intently to the soft whisper of her clothes as she undressed for bed, totally unaware of the effect it was having on him. Finally, he heard the sheets rustle as she lay down.
Lying on his back, his hands laced together behind his head, he stared at the ceiling, fighting the powerful and conflicting emotions that continued to rage inside him. Had her situation not been so complicated, had she not been so recently left a widow, things would have been different. He knew it would be wrong to act on those emotions at this time, but it had been a very long time since he had been with a woman, and she could not begin to imagine just how badly he wanted her at that moment.
The illuminated face of the clock on his bedside table counted the minutes as they turned into hours, and still he lay awake, struggling with the ramifications of acting on his own desire. It was her decision, he reminded himself, her idea. Could he be blamed for responding to what she said she wanted?
Alan finally tossed back the sheet and got out of bed. Quietly, he slipped through his curtain, and moved to the curtain that guarded the door to Ellie�s private area. He placed his hand on the fabric, intending to draw it back, but hesitated. After his rejection of her earlier, would she welcome him, or would she throw him out? After a moment�s hesitation, still besieged with his conscience, he drew back the curtain and entered her cubical.
Ellie rested silently on her bed, awash in a silvery swath of moonlight that illuminated her entire cubical. She lay on her side, her face turned toward him, but she did not respond to his presence. He listened carefully. Her deep, even breathing indicated that she had found sleep despite the emotional turmoil she had suffered.
Quietly, he knelt down beside her bed and gazed at her face for a long time. Her expression was serene. He longed to kiss her, to take her into her arms and grant her any wish she desired, to take her love and give his in return.
In the block of moonlight, his hand reached out toward her ---- and stopped.
He had fully intended to wake her, to bring her out of the peaceful slumber she now enjoyed. But his strong sense of ethics had overridden his desire. He could not, would not, take advantage of her grief and vulnerability to satisfy a need which had been unfulfilled for so long.
Rising to his feet again, he returned to his bed and lay back down, wishing for a cold shower � a real cold shower -- and trying to think of other things.
Go to Chapter 19